


Power, Pride and Pleasure

by Int0_the_star_fire5



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-04-05 17:11:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 106,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4188063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Int0_the_star_fire5/pseuds/Int0_the_star_fire5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Lucifer trying to break free and the apocalypse hanging over their heads the Winchester boys find themselves contending with conflicting morals, the sexual tension between them and Sam and Ruby's budding relationship. With the clock winding down how will Dean deal with Sam's decisions? Will Castiel do whatever it takes to stop Sam, before it is too late? Does Ruby actually love Sam, or is it all a ruse? Will she be able to seduce Sam into giving into the dark temptations of his powers? Who will be the last to stand against the tides of the apocalypse with the world,  absurd romances, unlikely friends and crazy realities crashing down upon their head? Multiple character POV, SLOW BURN WINCEST! SAM/RUBY, Possible DEAN/RUBY (very minor), DESTIEL, INTENSELY GRAPHIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL CONTENT! MIND THE RATING, PLEASE!</p><p>Their is a lot of tension, sexual and otherwise, initially. However, their is a slow build to the Wincest. A good love story has build up, in my opinion. So if you don't like this, or if your out for straight smut, this probably isn't the story for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Okay. So, let me start off with saying I am new at AO3, I'm a fanfiction girl branching out. Please, bare with me as I figure out all the new features and whatnot. AO3 is much more complex than Fanfiction! 
> 
> This particular story takes place during the conflict between Sam and Dean over Sam's powers and his relationship with Ruby, and the struggle to keep the gates of hell closed. I'm warning you in advance, this chapter is graphic and as the story goes on they will probably progressively get more and more sexually intense. At this point I am my own editor, so please excuse any mistakes or errors, particularly tense changes...it's a personal weak spot of mine. Thank you for reading. Hope You enjoy it! 
> 
> Oh, and I appreciate any and all feedback.

Sam's POV

Dean and I walk through the door to yet another run-down hotel room arguing loudly together.

“It’s done isn’t it, Dean? So why are you so bent out of shape?” I walk towards the bathroom to wash the blood and other things off my face. 

Dean shoves the bathroom door open and starts moving about the room in a haze of anger, violently grabbing his toiletries. I meet his eyes in the mirror briefly then he shrugs as if brushing everything off and leaves the bathroom. I let my head fall to hang loosely between my shoulders and take a deep breath before snatching the towel off the rack next to me. As I begin drying my face and hands I walk to the door of the bathroom. Dean is shoving his stuff into his bag. I stand up straight from my post in the door way.

“So, now you’re leaving?” Dean stops in the middle of shoving a shirt into his bag and stares briefly at me before continuing.

“You don’t need me, Sam. You’ve got Ruby!” He grabs the bag and goes to the dresser to throw more stuff in it. “Yeah, you two look nice and cozy.” He says sarcastically. I move a couple of steps into the bedroom.

“Are you kidding me?” I ask. Dean chuckles mockingly.

“Does it look like I’m joking?” He continues shoving stuff into his bag. I stride angrily towards him stopping a few feet back.

“Let me explain, Dean.” He lets out a short burst of ugly laughter then spins on me delivering a hay maker to my left Jaw. As I fall to the floor he walks in a small circle to regain his balance, shaking out his hand.

“How are you going to explain that, Sam?” He yells. “I told you after I found out that you were working with Ruby behind my back the first time how far off the reservation you were! You didn’t tell me then what you were doing and now I find out you never stopped!”

Dean turned away and strutted a violent path to the window pulling his hands through his hair then walked back to stand a few feet from me. As I pull myself up off the floor he clenches and unclenches his fists. I wipe the blood from my mouth with the back of my hand and raise my chin in defiance.

“You feel better?” I see the next punch coming but stand there and accept another vicious blow that staggers me back into the table. My hand is steadying me on the table top as I lift my head to look up at Dean. It wasn't the first time we had fought, but I had a bad habit of forgetting just how heavy handed he is. 

“Guess not.” I say, wiping the blood from my mouth for a second time, licking my lips I put my bloody fingers in my mouth. Dean watches me suck them clean then turns his back to me with a small shout, grabbing the first thing that comes to hand, which happens to be a remote, launching it to splinter against the wall.

“No Sam, I don’t feel better. I don’t like the feeling of not being able to trust you because you are drinking blood from a demon whore!” Silence falls between us as Dean looked challengingly into my eyes as if daring me to lie. I stand up straight, still staring at him. I have no reason to lie. I just wish he would let me speak my piece.

“You know I’m doing it to kill demons, Dean.” He throws his hands up in the air takes a step towards me.

“Yeah, with your mind! Use the knife, Sam!”

“There is only one knife and two of us.” I take a couple strides in his direction and raise my fist which I'm still clasping the towel in to point at him. “You know that, Dean.” I throw the towel into Dean’s face. He snatches the towel away in fury as I continue. “Using the knife kills the victim. My way saves them.” I frown. “Why is that so bad, Dean?” He blinks at me silently for a few seconds in confusion then his eyes glint with anger. 

“Because you are drinking Demon blood to be able to do it!” He yells, marching up into my face. I stare unflinchingly into Dean's angry face from half a foot away, his chest is heaving in frustration. 

I say quietly and slowly, “Dad said-“

Dean jacks me up by my shirt and jacket throwing me back onto the bed cutting me off. One of his legs is between my thighs and the other on the outside. I flip him over, toppling us both onto the floor with me landing on top, straddling Dean. He struggles under my weight hitting me in the face once before I grab both of his wrists, pinning them to the floor above his head. 

“Dad said…” I start loudly to be heard over his struggling, “that it is our mission to keep saving people and hunting things. But what if the best way to do that requires us to do things we never thought we could or should do?” Dean goes still under me. I look into his eyes as I continue. “So what if I have to drink demon blood. We can stab a hundred different people that demons possess. Sooner or later one demon or another will just take another meat suit and all we’ll have accomplished is killing more people than we save.” He has tears in his eyes as he stares up at me, lying completely still.

“What if you doing this backfires on us, Sam?” He stops and swallows a couple times before continuing in a barely audible whisper, “I couldn’t bear losing you.” 

I frown down at him, sigh then release his hands and pull him up to my chest, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, burying my right hand in his hair. We sit there like that for a few minutes. I wonder for a second if the physical closeness might be too intimate but let it go when he wraps his arms around my waist, resting them in the dip in my lower back. When Dean is calm again I slowly pull away, sitting back with my hands resting on his shoulders, looking directly in his eyes searching for the truth of what is bugging him.

“I’m not going anywhere, Dean.” I see the love and worry in his eyes as he searches mine. 

The air between us gets thick as we stare into each others eyes. I watch his lips part so he can draw in more air as he glances at my lips and feel my heart skip around because I know what he wants. I want it too. I try to keep a blank face so as not to give myself away, but I want to lean forward and claim his lips. I'd fought so many similar urges over the years. He leans forward to where we are close enough that I feel his breath ghost across my lips. I stare at him but he doesn't move. My heart is leaping around in my chest so fiercely I suspect he can hear it. I've had so many countless dreams about Dean's lips, ripened and plump as our tongues dance together in time to our bodies. But now as I sit on top of Dean, looking into his beautiful green eyes from inches away my heart thuds erratically against my ribs in a combination of repressed desires and terror of what might happen if I allow myself, us, to cross that line. 

Dean smiles and leans in a bit more running his nose from the juncture where my neck meets my shoulder up to my jaw line. He flicks his tongue out and slowly laves at the pulse throbbing in the Hollow of my throat forcing the smallest of exhales from me. I close my eyes allowing myself to bask in the moment I'd desired for longer than I'd dare admit. He pushes his hand into my hair, using it as a handle to maneuver my head to make eye contact. We stare intensely at each other for a minute. I can hardly breathe because my heart is racing so fast. I know he is going to kiss me. I know I need to stop this before everything spirals out of control, I just can't bring myself to deny him one small kiss. He closes the distance between us almost imperceptibly, closing his eyes. His lips meet mine in the softest, most chaste kiss I'd ever felt, lips soft and barely brushing mine, promising more yet daring not to venture further. His kiss is just enough for me to realize how soft his lips are. Softer than I could have ever imagined. How could something so soft and fleeting leave me out of breath and screaming inside for more? I stare at Dean for just a second feeling my heart seize in regret for what I was about to do. With what I consider to be a Herculean effort, I shove him back and stand so fast I have to use the bed to steady myself.

“What the hell, Dean!” I stare at him with the back of my hand pressed to my mouth. 

I was putting on one hell of an act of repulsion but I really just want to just touch my lips, to cherish Dean's sweet kiss. He just sits there watching me, eyes full of rejection and shame as I shake my head and storm into the bathroom. Once the door closes behind me I lean against it and let silent tears run down my cheeks as I run my fingers over my lips. I have to steele myself against the urge to fling the door open and kiss him until the pain I had caused him faded from his eyes. 

 

••••••••••  
Dean's POV

 

The bathroom door slams behind Sam with a shattering sense of finality. I am left leaning back on my hands with my legs sprawled in front of me where he left me, listening to the shower come on and wishing I had the courage to go in there and join him. I feel a hot pressure in my lungs and a stinging behind my eyes that I'm all too familiar with. Allowing myself to fall back on the floor, I stare at years of layered paint peeling off the ceiling above me. I scrub at my face with my hands and let out a growl that sounds like it is more from fear than anger. 

"Oh god" I grumble around my hands. 

I had never allowed myself to let go of my true feelings for Sam and never ever had I ever acted on them. I had actually nuzzled and sucked on his neck...then I had actually kissed him! What the fuck had I thought I was doing? Had I really thought Sam was just going to profess the same feelings and we would have the earth shattering, body quaking, mind blowing homoerotic sex we have in my dreams? 

Wait. Why had he let me nuzzle his neck? Why hold me so closely, so intimately? Why watch me kiss him if he wasn't into it? I swear I had seen something, felt something- shit! He never moved to do anything back. He didn't move at all in any of that. He probably hadn't known what to do about his fucked up, perverted, fruitcake brother coming onto him.

"Oh god...he thinks I'm queerer than a three dollar bill!" I growl out and slam my fist on the hard floor beneath me. 

I shake my head violently then lay there staring at the ceiling in silence not letting my brain venture to all the places I so didn't want to go right now. In the silence I hear the plastic snap of a bottle opening from the shower and before I can stop it images of a wet and naked Sam surge through my brain. He would be washing his hair right now, arms extended over his head exposing all that sleek, tawny muscle in one hard line. Water would be beating down on his back, rivulets of water and suds running down in teasing lines tracing paths I wanted to trail with my tongue, cock bobbing gently from the scrubbing. 

"Oh for fuck sakes!" I say angrily, surging to my feet and almost falling because of the shooting pain in my groin. 

I was so hard right now my dick could probably cut diamonds. I try walking to the bed but a surge of pain stops me and has me fumbling at the zipper on my jeans to release my erection from its painful confines. I have a matter of minutes before Sam emerges from the bathroom in a towel, and that is something I definitely could not handle right now. If I see that right now I might just come all over myself and then what would Sam think of me? No, I had to get out of here because there is no way my erection is going to die down on its own...not with the hot ass images of wet and naked Sam running through my mind. I close my eyes shut tight as a wave of pleasure and longing rips through me and sends my cock into little seizures. My legs don't want to move but I force myself to walk over to the chair and grab my jacket, putting it in front of my exposed manhood. No way was I getting it back into my pants without serious crippling pain, maybe even injury. I hear the shower shut off and am suddenly more motivated than ever to get out of here. I snatch up my keys and flee the motel room as fast as I can on two and a half legs.

I am sweating by the time I get into the Impala. The door is barely finished slamming closed before I'm leaning over snatching the wipes, I keep there for times just like this, out of the glove box. I'm not going to be driving anywhere until all my blood isn't rushing to my lower head. I'm blinded by hundreds of images of Sam as I grab my cock, hissing in need. Suddenly I'm not in the car, I'm sprawled across the bed where Sam has just shoved me back. He leans over me grabbing my cock drawing a low moan from my throat and stroking me long and slow from base to tip giving a couple of small extra strokes by the head then repeating a couple of times. Sam leans down claiming my lips thrusting his tongue into my mouth like I imagine he would thrust into a nice warm body, swallowing down my moans as I feel myself getting really close to coming. Sam grabs the hair at the base of my skull and pulls my head back exposing my neck, running his hot tongue from the hollow in my throat to my ear lobe where he sucks it in between his lips growling a low bass hum at my rapid, irregular, raspy breathing. He nibbles my neck a little but my shiver is lost in the loud moan that tears out of my throat when he squeezes my cock a little more. Three strokes later I'm screaming my orgasm against Sam's neck and writhing in waves, clutching my lover to me through the searing, white-hot pleasure and wanting so much more. 

I snap back from my daydream breathing raggedly and realize I have quite a mess to clean up. My body is heavy and languid with pleasure. I smile as I look down at my still hard and ready cock and realize...I'm going to make a bigger mess before I worry about cleaning it up.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- So there is no sex in this chapter, but there is quite a bit of violence and emotional turmoil between the brothers. Be prepared for the next chapter because it is going to be graphic. It will probably be a few days before the next chapter but I hope you enjoy this chapter. All reviews are appreciated! ;-*

Sam's POV

I'm kicked through the wall six feet behind me, plaster, paint and wood clattering to the floor with me. Dazed, I grab for the demon knife but my assailant walks around by my head, stepping on my hand then bending down and grabbing my arm using it to wrench me into a position that draws a pained groan from me while still crunching down on my other hand. The woman laughs darkly and begins to reach for my throat with her free hand. A dark blur crashes into the woman, freeing me and leaving me laying on the floor looking at the scene of Ruby rolling her over and pinning her to the floor with a knee to her lower back and an arm wrenched so far up in between her shoulder blades that the meaty pop of the shoulder dislocating sounds a second before the woman's scream. As I'm getting to my feet Ruby shouts over her shoulder. 

"Sam, the knife!" I grab the knife and walk over to stand within grabbing distance but hesitate at handing the knife over. Ruby looks at me expectantly and when I don't move to give it to her she wrenches the woman's arm farther drawing another scream from her. 

"Hey! Give me the knife or kill her yourself, either way she isn't leaving this house." She says with one eyebrow raised. 

I go completely still, looking at the woman. She smiles up at me through bloody teeth and then suddenly the black demon eyes are gone and the woman the demon is inhabiting comes into focus screaming and crying. Her eyes are a faded shade of blue as she stares up at me. She begs for me not to hurt her, for me to not let Ruby hurt her, for me to please let her go. She tells me she has a family. I feel that burning urge I get to help people and look up at Ruby who is still waiting for me to take action, not showing any leniency towards the woman underneath her. Her deep brown eyes stare at me and I can see that she wants me to stab the woman but with the pleas for mercy echoing around me I don't want to kill her. I shake my head once left then right and watch the little bit of warmth, that I didn't know she was expressing, just disappear, replaced by disappointment. 

"Ruby, I can save the woman. We don't-" 

Ruby cuts me off doing three things at once: she rolls her eyes, whips her arm out snatching the knife and plunges it into the woman's throat sending a stream of blood arcing out to splat onto the floor not an inch from my shoe before I can get out more than a shout for her to stop. I watch Ruby use the woman's shirt to wipe the blood off the knife then roll to her feet, flipping the blade around and handing it hilt first to me. As soon as I take it she turns on her heel and walks out of the house. I stare down at the woman I could have saved, sprawled on her stomach in her own growing pool of blood and feel rage boil through me. I storm out of the house after Ruby, putting the knife away before I followed through with the urge to use it on her. I catch up and grab her arm pulling her to a stop, spinning her around to face me and grabbing her other shoulder, to yell in her face from inches away. 

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT, RUBY?! I told you I could have saved her and you just stab her?" I shook her a little with the last part. 

"You could have saved all four of them had you just used your powers as soon as we walked in! You chose not to! Now all of them are dead! That's how this works Sam." She yelled right back. I stare at her for a few seconds.

"How what works? I thought you were supposed to be teaching me how to save people and kill demons?" She laughs in my face. 

"I'm just giving you the means to unlock a powerful weapon that you can use to save the humans that you love so much...and to kill demons, yes. More importantly I am helping you obtain the best means to Lilith's end, and all of our salvation, you damn fool! But I can't make you use it!" 

I stare down at her for a couple of seconds seeing the truth in what she is saying. Had I just used my powers to exorcise them as soon as we walked in I could have saved them. All of them. Then I remember Dean's desperation when he confronted me about my relationship with Ruby. I don't want Dean to not be able to trust me. I hate that we've become so estranged! Dean's teary eyes flash through my mind and I feel my face pull into a sneer as I shove Ruby away. She stumbles back four feet or so, tripping over a stone hedge, going through the dilapidated little fence around the long dead remains of what was probably once a quaint little garden. I pull my hands through my hair a couple times, strutting agitated circles. 

"There has to be another way." I say. Ruby pulls herself to her feet dusting off the dirt and throws me a filthy look. 

"You can do what you like! I am only trying to help you save the world, no big deal right? I mean you are okay with the whole world dying because you can't bring yourself to drink a little demon blood, right?" She stares at me indignantly from a few feet away with her legs spread apart in an aggressive stance, clearly challenging me. When I don't answer or respond at all except to stare a hole through her she shakes her head and scoffs. 

"Okay. Well it's sure been fun, Sam! Keep the knife, you're gonna need it since you know it is the only other weapon we know of that can kill a demon for good, other than you." She starts to walk the opposite direction from the house. 

"And hey! If you survive the wrath of hell and your foolish kamikaze mission to save all of humanity with one little pig sticker and a mouthful of Latin...look me up! It's really hard to find a satisfying lay, let alone a great one." 

"Where are you going?" I shout after her. I'm not done yelling at her yet and she's just going to walk away. She pivots on her heels and struts back to stab her finger angrily into my chest and yell, 

"I was willing to do anything to help you guys win, including offer myself up as your personal demon flavored juice pouch on legs! I am not going to stand by and watch you lose! I'm keeping my ass off Hell's radar as long as I can." She leans into me a little more and stands up on her tip toes to get as close to my face as possible. 

"So!" She said in a falsely bright falsetto, then her face goes blank, "Fuck-you-Winchester!" each word punctuated by a finger stab into my sternum followed by a smile brighter than a hundred watt light bulb. She turns on her heel and walks away, again. 

I watch her walk away feeling my anger, resentment, and hatred explode through me. As much as I hate her right now, Ruby's right. A long, raw, ragged scream tears its way up and out of my throat and I fall to my knees. I am completely trapped. Damned if I do and double damned if I don't. I sit there for a while staring at the nothingness of the landscape around me then get to my feet, starting to walk the opposite direction Ruby went toward where I had parked my “borrowed” car. I scoff derisively. Well, if god loves sacrifice maybe I'd have a chance at going to Heaven after it was all over. I just hoped God was open-minded about what was right and wrong. 

 

••••••••••  
Dean's POV 

 

I'm in the bathroom attempting to wash the bluish-clear goo from my face when I hear the door to the room rattle open followed by the rustling of clothes and the thunk of what sounds like Sammy's heavy jacket hitting one of the wooden chairs around the dinged up table against the far wall of the room. I know it's Sam in the room but I receive confirmation two seconds later. 

"Dean? You here?" He calls out. 

I grimace at the pain shooting through me and prepare myself for Sam's interrogation by smiling at the face I know he is going to make when he sees my goo covered body. I open the door to see Sam's backside as he bends over the table fiddling with the laptop. I rove my eyes over him noticing the firmness of his ass, the taught muscles standing out against his shirt and the way his jeans cling to his hips until he turns around. I feel my face go blank. Sam's eyebrows raise and a smirk spreads across his face. 

"Dude! You look like you had a bad run in with a jellyfish colored version of the blob from Ghost busters!" He laughs and shakes his head turning around to close the laptop. I walk across the room in shaky steps and when he turns around the smile slides from his face at the serious, calculating look I know I have leveled on him. 

"You look like you wrestled with one too many dry walls and lost." I remark dryly. "That must have been some kind of library, huh?" I ask with my eyebrow raised. 

I had sent Sam to the library four hours ago, which in his world was a reasonable amount of time to spend being a nerd, in order to keep him from hunting. But in my experience, the library never put avid nerds through a wall...though in our particular line of work anything was possible. Sam has blood on his shirt around a small slice in the fabric, his hair and clothes are liberally dusted with what I'm sure is plaster and drywall, he has a bruise highlighting his left cheek bone and a bloody scrape on the right side of his chin...and I'd be willing to bet my Impala there was more damage hidden beneath the clothes. I look expectantly at Sam waiting for an answer.  
He sighs, 

"I did go to the library." He turns around and reaches into the inner pocket of his jacket pulling out a manila folder full of papers, holding it up for me to see before slapping it down on the table. Then he reaches back into his jacket and pulls out the demon knife. 

"I just happened to run into a bit of demon trouble is all." He shrugs. "Nothing I couldn't handle. No big deal." I feel myself start at hearing Sam say that. He'd been hunting! I had sent him to the library to get him out of the line of hunting and he'd hunted anyway! I step up to the table as Sam lays the knife down on it and snatch it up pointing at him with it. 

“You went hunting! Without me!” I say angrily. Sam smiles and shakes his head turning his back to me as he walks to the bed unbuttoning his shirt. 

“Yeah, I could say the same about you.” He says with the smallest hint of sarcasm. He pulls his button down off tossing it onto the bed and turns to stare at me. I had been watching Sam angrily and somewhat distractedly and for a second I saw the recognition in his face that I had been watching him. I take another shaky step towards him. 

“You didn't even really go to the library? Did you?” I pick up the folder of papers and flip through them slapping it shut with a scoff. “I'll give your little girlfriend credit where its due, she even made it look like you were the one that did the research!” 

I throw the folder at Sam who doesn't move to catch it, just lets it bounce off his chest. Stabbing the knife into the table, and turning toward the mini fridge in the corner of the room to get a beer, I hear the shuffling of papers and the slap of the folder hitting the floor. When I have a beer in hand and a mouthful in the belly I turn back around to see that Sam hasn't moved. He is standing there glaring at me with angry eyes. 

“Well?” I ask taking another sip of my beer, “We gonna fight or are you just going to glare your angry thoughts at me?” 

He stands in place staring at me for a few seconds then shakes his head, bending down and scooping up the papers that had flown everywhere, placing them back in the folder. I watch this all in silence while sipping my beer. He moves about the room in agitated movements and his silence is really starting to piss me off. I don't know why, but I am itching for a fight. 

“I'm right aren't I, Sam?” I all but growl out. I can just imagine that demon slut's hands all over Sam and the thought churns my stomach. Sam with his hand outstretched exorcising demons with his mind. I shake my head to get rid of the thought. Then suddenly, Sam turns around in a movement so fast it's startling and strides toward me. 

“No, Dean. You are not right.” He grinds out between clenched teeth. Sam's cheeks are flushed, his green eyes glowing bright with the anger he is barely containing, his lips pursed. I step away from the wall I'd been leaning against but keep a hand on it to steady my spinning world. 

“Oh really? Did you even use the knife Sam?” His eyes flash dangerously and I swear he's vibrating. He turns on his heel and struts an angry path toward the table, snatching up the knife and whirling, burying it in the wall inches from my hand. 

“What do you think, Dean? Is that crusted blood fresh enough for you? Are you satisfied that I killed another four people?” He asks in a dangerously low voice. “Does it make you feel better that I couldn't save them? That I did it your way?” Sam's voice was getting lower and I could tell he was fighting the urge to yell. I wanted to look back at the knife, to see the evidence of the crusted blood on the blade but didn't dare look away from him. He was in a rare mood tonight. He was rarely this easy to enrage. I slowly move my hand off the wall and stand on my own, albeit still rather wobbly. 

“You killed four demons, Sam.” I say quietly in an evidently failed attempt to soothe him as Sam screams in anger and strides an aggravated circle ripping his hands through his hair. “Why did you hunt without me, I would have taken care-” Sam lets out an ugly laugh and stops his angry pacing about a foot in front of the table. With his back still turned toward me he growls out, 

“Because...you-don't...” and in an explosion of anger that truly scares me, he simultaneously flips the little table and the contents sitting on it, including his lap top, into the wall across the room and screams, “TRUST ME!” He whirls to face me and I stumble back into the wall I'd only just a minute before so desperately not wanted to touch so as not to look weak. Sam's eyes are a luminescent green ignited by a horrifying rage. 

“YOU DON'T TRUST ME, DEAN!!!” He yells, his face contorted into a Sam that I don't recognize. “Isn't that why you sent me on this stupid run to the library in the first place? So you could get me out of the way? So you didn't have to hunt with me? You obviously already did the research because you killed the Mullo!” He gestures to me all covered in goo, raking my body with that angry stare making me shiver. I had never seen Sam this way. “You think I don't see the suspicion every time I go out of your sight? I can't even get a soda from the vending machine without seeing you looking out the window, watching my every move?” He takes a step towards me and I fight the urge to step back because there is nowhere to go. If Sam gets physical in the condition we are both in I know one of us will be going to the hospital tonight, and I'd be willing to bet I knew who it would be. 

“Why did I go hunting without you?” He scoffs “I went on your library run. I let you go out hunting alone!” I take a breath. Clearly I wasn't as slick as I thought I'd been. I knew it was a stupid question but asked anyway. Why do people do that? Why do we ask questions we clearly know the answer to?

“You knew I was going out to hunt?” 

“YES!” Sam rips his hands through his hair and paces a tight circle. 

“Why did you let me go alone then if you knew?” I ask in a small voice trying not to incite any more of his anger. When he stops pacing, stops moving and, I think, stops breathing I stand completely still and stop breathing myself, not knowing what to expect. Sam stays turned away but answers my question in the most quiet tone he's used since the beginning of our fight. 

“Because if you can't trust me, Dean, then I refuse to be at your back. I refuse to watch you throw cautious looks over your shoulder at me.” He turns to face me but doesn't look at me. “Because if you can't trust me at your back in a fight, there is nothing to differentiate me from whatever enemy you are fighting.” Sam's eyes are sad as he meets my eyes, so sad that I want to tell him to stop because I don't want to hear what he's about to say. “Because to you...I am just another monster.” My heart clenches at the pain in his eyes. “And because, even though I'm a monster to you, I trust you, Dean. I trust that you will do what is best for you...even if it's hating me, and that you will do what needs to be done to survive.” As he turns his back to me and starts taking his shirt off and gathering clean clothes I can't breathe. When he walks by me I turn toward him with an outstretched hand wanting with everything I have to soothe away the pain I had caused, but can't bring myself to touch him. 

“Sam?” He freezes. 

“What?” He asks in a rough voice. I feel tears welling up in my eyes and widen them so they won't fall. 

“I don't think you are a monster.” I say quietly so my voice doesn't shake. I watch Sam shake his head then turn it just enough so I can see the side of his face and know he is looking at me. 

“Yes you do. You just don't want to admit it.” He looks forward and continues walking toward the bathroom. “I'm taking a shower.” 

The bathroom door closes. Again, I am the way Sam left me when I hear the shower come on. I feel the stinging building behind my eyes and look around for a place to sit finding nothing. The bed is out of the question because the goo will ruin the sheets. Sam wrecked the little table and chairs, and as I look I see his laptop laying in pieces. Oh man, he isn't going to like that! Out of seating options I sink to the ground, bringing my beer to my lips forcing it down around the lump building in the back of my throat. I hear the plastic snap of a bottle and the tears break free. How could I cause him so much pain? 

I want so very badly for everything to go back to the way it was. To see Sam smile that toothpaste commercial smile and hear his addictive peal of laughter. To go back to when everything was so much simpler and we didn't have worries like protecting all of humanity from the horrors of hell. Back when Sam was just Sam, no demon powers, no demon lover, no questionable morals...just Sam. 

I fall back against the floor, listening to the shower run and realize that Sam is right. I don't trust him at my back in the hotel room, let alone in a situation where my life could quite possibly be in his hands. The tears come faster. I sit up on my elbows and down the last of my beer wishing like hell that in all the things that I knew existed in this world I could find an infinite bottle of kick ass beer! I want another but my body hurts too much to get up and get one.  
What's happened to us? A wave of exhaustion sweeps over me and I fall back against the floor right as the door to our room is splintered open and flung back into the wall behind it. 

I stumble to my feet in time to see the thing standing in the doorway. It is shaped sort of like a human but the angles are all wrong. Too soft. Apparently, I had not killed the Mullo, but I sure as hell had pissed it off. Before I'd registered it had moved it had me by the throat, slamming me back onto floor. It moved so fast I didn't have time to brace myself for impact. The last thing I had time to process before my world went black was the thick meaty sound of my skull cracking into the floor, the high pitched scream of the Mullo and it's ugly face hovering above me.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Okay so I am issuing a disclaimer now. This chapter is graphic! There is some drama between the brothers like in my previous chapters but you'll just have to read the chapter to get the good stuff. This one is also a bit longer than the others. I hope you guys like it. Please review, all feedback is appreciated. Enjoy the chapter! I'll have another chapter up a.s.a.p.

Sam's POV

I hear what sounds like the door being kicked off the hinges and jump out of the shower heading towards the door but come to a full stop at the silence that is now on the other side. Where is the sounds of fighting? The grunts, groans, screams and sound of flesh meeting flesh? I look around the bathroom searching for something, anything to use as a weapon, knowing that whatever or whoever is out there is going to eventually realize there is someone else in the room. The shower is still running and I am standing in the middle of the small bathroom naked and dripping water everywhere with no weapons and a potentially deadly enemy on the other side of the door. I take a few steps back toward the shower and grab the metal of the shower rod, pulling down hard, staggering back as the screeching sound of bending metal and the growl of if ripping away from the walls announces my existence. 

I run to the door, tear it open and see a humanesque figure hovering over an unconscious Dean. The creature's head whips up and I see what looks like a pound of weird spaghetti-like tentacles coming out of it's mouth, moving on their own. It's eyes light up a bright blue and its mouth tentacles fan out around it's face exposing a small hole in the center as it lets out a piercing screech. I move forward to attack it but it's gone. I look around, searching for the creature but am launched into the wall to the left, barely having time to slide to the floor before I am being launched into the opposite wall. 

That piercing screech sounds again, but this time I'm ready. I wait for a fraction of a second, then dive to the left feeling the woosh of air pass by me as the monster grabs at the air where I just was. Coming to my feet to the right of the bathroom I snatch the demon knife out of the wall where I had embedded it earlier. The creature screeches again and then I am being shoved into the wall behind me by the throat. I shove the knife into the creatures stomach, pulling upward hard and the knife moves through it like cutting through Jello. The creature screams an awful noise and throws me like a rag doll into the wall to the left. My head connects with the wall first and the world comes to me in disconnected spurts of sound and fuzzy shapes. A ringing sets up shop in my ears as I drag myself up to my hands and knees. I stay there for a couple seconds regaining my composure. When I look up I see Dean's body arching up from the floor and a light illuminating from where the creature's tentacles are touching his skin. He is making a high pitched, keening sound that zings through me, electrifying me. I don't remember getting to my feet but suddenly I'm walking briskly towards Dean and the creature. I feel the rage burning through me and when Dean screams it flows through my body in powerful waves from my feet upward and my hand shoots out the way it does when I'm exorcising demons. 

The next few seconds happen so fast that I only truly remember them while looking back on it later. I feel heat burn through my body like someone had opened me up and poured acid in, working its way up from my feet and gathering in the palm of my hand for a brief, painful second to explode outward. If I hadn't been looking at it all happen I never would have seen anything. A wave of power comes from me that reminds me of the way reality morphs around the energy of a flame, the way heat waves in the distance twist us so we see things that aren't really there; It was there, but only if you really looked at it.

The monster flew through the air crashing through the right side of the door frame and a metal post that held up the overhang outside to crash into a parked car, the alarm of which belched out a small blip of noise then died in a growl.I was once again on my hands and knees without remembering falling, head hanging loosely between my shoulders, breathing like I'd just run a 10k with someone on my back. A piercing scream tears through the air sending me falling onto my side covering my ears, going on for what feels like forever. When it stops I fumble to my feet, staggering to the destroyed door frame to see an odd sight. The overhang is collapsed in front of the door to the room to my right, which I just now realize someone is trying to get out of. A car is flipped over on its side and flung into the wall, which now has busted pipes leaking water, and wires hanging out of it, where a line of vending machines had occupied. The creature is pinned between the car and the broken wall flailing as it is electrocuted, making a pitiful noise. I stand there, not exactly watching the display before me but more or less stuck in a daze until the creature suddenly goes quiet. It is still jumping around, being pumped full of electricity, but as I watched it just evaporated. When it is gone I sigh in relief then turn to get Dean and I out of there before we run into police problems...again. 

 

··········  
Dean's POV

 

I wake up seeing the world through a plastic sheen but when I raise my hand to remove it from my face there is nothing there. I blink a few times and the fuzziness recedes enough that I can see a half naked, disheveled Sam sitting next to me. I stare for a second letting my eyes clear and when I can see as much as possible in the passing streetlights I begin cataloging my surroundings. Sam is wearing nothing but a worn pair of jeans. His upper body, hair and arms are coated in what looks like plaster. His hair is tangled about his face and neck. He looks as if he's been dragged through the wringer but his face is calm, his eyes focused on something far off in the distance. I drag my eyes over him again stopping at the button on his jeans that is undone. I trace the V of his hips and the trail of hair disappearing underneath the cloth, that I find myself vehemently cursing, with my eyes. I realize I'm staring, mouth watering. Suddenly Sam glances over at me then back at the road.

“Your awake.” Not a question, just a plain statement. I sit up from where I'm slumped and clear my throat, swallowing a few times. 

“Yeah.” My voice is gruff and throat sore. I clear my throat once more and ask, “What happened?” He glances over at me with just his eyes.

“The Mullo you hunted wasn't dead.”

“Bullshit! I killed it. It exploded all over me.” I look down realizing to my dismay that I'm still covered in the goo, which is now peeling off in patches all over my baby's seat. He turns to look at me for longer than is healthy for either of us while behind the wheel, then looks back at the road.

“How did you kill it?” 

“What?” I ask while looking at Sam's profile. 

“How did you kill it?” He asks again. 

“I know how to do my job, Sam!” I say indignantly. How dare he imply that I don't know how to finish a hunt properly! I had been doing this longer than him.

“Really? Because last time I checked he skull checked you against the floor and I had to save your ass.” He says it calmly and turns to look at me while asking, “So, I ask again, how did you kill it?” I went silent, gritting my teeth. 

“I stabbed it in the mouth with a knife bathed in salt water like the lore said. Why?” Sam laughs knowingly and I turn to look at him. “What's funny?” He shrugs.

“If you had actually waited for me to get back from the library instead of doing your own half-ass version of researching so you didn't have to hunt with me, maybe you would have known that was only a myth.” He stares at the road like his life depends on it. 

“We fight and die by myths, Sam.” He looks at me, irritation glinting in his eyes. 

“You jumped the gun, Dean, and it almost got you killed. This has to stop.” He takes a deep breath in and holds his hand up when I open my mouth to cut him off, turning to glare at me. “I don't care how you feel about what you think I am turning into. Get over it. Enough of your bullshit.” 

“Sam-”

“No.” He says cutting me off, again. “I said earlier that I trusted you even though you can't return it because I knew you could take care of yourself.” He looks at the road ahead like he is trying to reach the end of the world. “Tonight you proved me wrong. So, I don't care if I turn into Lucifer himself. I am not going to let you go out on hunts by yourself again.” He stops and stays silent for a minute and the silence gets thick enough to cut. When he finally speaks again I jump a little, “We have been hunting together our entire life and I have never not stood at your back when you needed me-”

“Yes. You have. You left Dad and me to go off to Stanford, and we never stopped needing you.” I cut him off angrily. I watch Sam's jaw tense and I remember the pain of Sam turning his back on me and dad. I don't think I can ever forgive him for that. Life had been hard before Sam left, but after...I shiver a little at the memories flashing through my mind until he speaks again.

“You are never going to understand, just like I know you'll always hang that over my head.” He shakes his head then continues. “I don't care what you think anymore. You aren't doing anything on your own anymore.” I take a steadying breath remembering my brother's words from earlier.

“I thought you refused to stand at my back since I can't trust you?” Sam seems to stop breathing.

“I lied.” He says slowly. “I will be there when you need me.” I stare at him, cringing inside at the question that pops into my head, but I ask it anyway.

“And what if I no longer want you at my back?” Sam's hands tighten on the wheel and his lips purse together. The silence goes on and on and I realize Sam isn't going to answer. A part of me is grateful because I'm not sure I want to know how Sam would answer. Another part can't stand the tense silence that keeps growing the longer we stay silent. I look around the interior of the Impala noting that our stuff is thrown into the back looking hastily packed. I can't stand the silence anymore.

“How did you Kill the Mullo?” My voice sounds like a gunshot. I stare at Sam waiting for an answer. I wait so long that I was sure Sam isn't going to answer and settle back into the seat. But he does.

“Accidentally, with a healthy side order of luck.” His voice is flat despite the thick sarcasm. For the rest of the night, no matter what I ask, I can't get Sam to talk. Eventually we stop. Sam checks us into another crappy motel room about three hours after the sun comes up. We haul our stuff into the room and Sam begins unpacking his bag. Without saying a word he takes his toiletries bag and disappears into the bathroom.

“Okay.” I grumble. “Sure, you can shower first.” I start unpacking my own bag. It isn't until the water comes on that I realize how badly I want a shower. I look at the door to the bathroom longingly and mumble, “Jerk.” A few seconds later Sam appears in the doorway meeting my eyes with his eyebrow raised, still dressed in his worn jeans and boots. He had washed his face and upper body because it was gleaming with water, and a toothbrush was sticking out his mouth, but he hadn't showered. He turns to rinse the toothbrush off a few seconds later and steps out of the bathroom waving his hands towards it saying I could go. I disappear into the bathroom and take a long shower luxuriating in the hot water, but when I come out Sam is gone. 

 

··········  
Ruby's POV

 

Sam had called about an hour ago and told me to meet him here at this shitty little run down motel that was mostly used by whores. He hadn't said much but what he had said left no room for arguments. So here I am sitting on the edge of a bed covered in sex stained sheets wondering what has pushed him over the edge this time. It was probably Dean. At the thought of Dean I roll my eyes. He was always fucking up my progress with Sam, always getting in the way. If either of the Winchester boys knew how to stay dead I wouldn't be having this problem...then again, if they didn't have a knack for fucking with the system I wouldn't have Sam. And I need Sam. I sigh in disgust. How do I always get myself into these situations? My whole thought process dies as I hear a car pull up. The engine dies and a few seconds later the door opens and in walks the man in question.

I take a sharp breath in. It had been weeks since Sam had come to me for what I am sure he wants, and man did he look good! His hair is tangled about his face and neck, wearing a pair of worn jeans that were frayed at the bottom and a jacket that is zipped up. Most of the time I can keep my lust for him tampered down because I don't like the way he makes me feel. Tonight is different. As he comes through the door he closes and locks it, moving to the blinds to close them and pull the curtains shut tight. When he turns around he is staring at me like a starving man would stare at a twenty ounce steak. My breath catches in my throat as he slowly walks toward me, pulling the zipper of his jacket down revealing his bare chest. The jacket hits the floor and he stops to kick off his boots before continuing towards me in jeans and socks. His eyes gleam darkly as he stops a few feet in front of me. He looks positively edible and I feel my heart beating against my ribs, my breathing already heavy. I had never seen Sam like this. I had always had to seduce him, but damn if he wasn't well schooled in the art himself!

“Come here.” He says in a deep voice so full of promise it makes me shiver. 

One side of his mouth pulls up into a smile and I shake my head back and forth more times than necessary. Something about him is different tonight. He is always sexy, but tonight he is also dangerous. He lets out a small masculine chuckle and grabs my arm pulling me in and pressing my body against his with a hand on my lower back. He dips his head down to look me in the eyes. 

“I said come here.” A little voice in my head is telling me to pull away, but my body is in control and tonight it wants to be taken. 

Sam dips his head further down but because of our height differences it forces our bodies apart. So he leans down and lifts me by the thighs, parting them on either side of his waist to straddle him. He runs his nose up my neck, into my hair then over to my ear sucking the earlobe between his teeth. I sigh a little and then his mouth is covering mine, his tongue penetrating my mouth, taking me over. 

His hand slides up my spine into my hair where he palms a giant handful and uses it to pull my head back breaking the kiss, and running his tongue from the hollow of my throat ending with a flick of it off my chin. My arms are wrapped around his neck, my legs around his waist and I can feel my body trembling. He nibbles his way up the side of my neck then back down, finding that sweet spot at the juncture where shoulder meets neck. I moan when he bites down a little then he's moving again. This time his mouth is over the pulse in my neck and he is sucking and rolling his tongue over it, nipping it with teeth drawing small moans from my throat. I feel his groan vibrate through my neck into my head.

Suddenly, he grabs my thighs prying them away from him, standing me back on my feet. I have a second to be confused when he grabs the hem of my shirt and yanks it up and over my head hard enough to make me stumble back into something soft. I turn my head to see I had bumped into the bed. I don't remember feeling him move us over here from where I had met him about in the middle of the room. I don't have time to think anything more after that. Sam yanks me toward him, leaning down to claim my lips in a fast, hot and messy kiss as he breaks the clasp on my bra and then it's gone. He breaks away and falls to his knees in front of me, leaning forward and nibbling his way from hip to hip making me close my eyes and shiver in anticipation. Then I feel a few jerks and tugs and when I look down my belt and jeans button are undone and he is in the process of undoing my zipper. He rolls his eyes up to look at me as he parts the cloth of the jeans to run his tongue along the edge of my panties. The sight of him doing this clenches something low in my stomach and I can feel the moisture pooling in my underwear. I need him. 

“Sam-” My plea is interrupted as he shoves me back onto the bed. 

Before I can readjust to the new view I am being yanked down the bed as Sam rips my pants down my legs. I look down to see I am now naked. He parts my legs and kneels between them staring down at me. His gaze sets a scorching blaze to me and I can feel the throb between my legs worsen. He smiles a devious smile then stands up off the bed. He stares me in the eyes as he runs his hand down his chest. I break his gaze to follow it, licking my lips. He trails his fingers at the top of his jeans teasingly then flicks the button open and slowly undoes the fly. My mouth waters as he peels the jeans away and his massive erection springs free. I want to beg him to fuck me! I need him to fuck me. The throbbing, aching, weeping valley between my thighs is all I can think about and he's all I can see. He kneels on the bed, again between my spread thighs, but when he doesn't move I make a small noise of desperation in the back of my throat and sit up to touch him. He is so beautiful, so perfect, and I need him! 

He grabs my wrists when I am just about to touch him and shoves them over my head, falling into a push up position above me. His weight on my wrists is thrilling and his erection brushes my lower stomach making me squirm against his restraint and how badly I wanted him. He is breathing heavily as he leans down to claim my mouth. There is nothing gentle about his kiss. His tongue swirls around then dips in and out of me as if he is mouth fucking me. I moan loudly but he keeps at it relentlessly swallowing down my sounds of pleasure. I am writhing against him and when he finally pulls back it is only briefly to pull my lower lip between his teeth and suck on it before nipping at it and taking me over again. When he pulls away again I whimper at the loss of his mouth and twitch everywhere as he runs his right hand down my arm and begins kneading his way down my side, by the time he reaches my hip I am breathless and can't think about anything but him inside me. He laughs, a sexy roll off the tongue laugh that makes me clench my thighs around him. Then he runs a finger up my cleft. I moan his name. Then I am screaming his name as he suddenly, finally thrusts into me. My head is thrown back, my body arching into his.

He fills me up and stretches me and once he is in he is relentless. All the gentleness is gone. He is staring at me and moaning under his breath. I look down to see him going in and out of me and that throws me over the edge. I come so hard I can't breathe let alone make a sound. My body is thrashing against his, but before I can finish he grabs my right thigh, flipping me onto my stomach and pulling me up to my knees by my waist. This angle is so much deeper. He's bumped my cervix before but now he was breaking the ceiling and just kept going. The pain of him slamming into my cervix mixed with the pleasure of his rhythmic, unrelenting thrusts steal my breath and I feel myself getting close to orgasm again. I gasp for air in ragged inhales. He palms my hair and uses it to pull me back against him. My back is still arched as he leans down a little, pulling my head to the side and exposing my neck. He flicks my ear with his tongue.

“Scream for me.” He growls in my ear right before he sinks his teeth into my neck and clamps down until I feel the sticky warmth of blood trailing down my neck. 

The bite hurts but once the skin is broken all the pressure dissipates. The feel of him sucking on my newly sensitized neck, all lips and tongue, makes my spine bow. I come again, screaming, body spasming against his, feeling my blood trickle down my chest as Sam takes what he wants from me, every one of his thrusts sending another wave of orgasm ripping through me. I feel his body tense a second before he explodes inside me. Then I fall unceremoniously face first onto the bed, panting for air as Sam collapses beside me, my blood trailing from the corner of his mouth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hey everyone! So there is a lot going on in this chapter: some wincest sexual tension, humor, action, loss, emotional turmoil and lots of tension. This chapter marks the beginning of a new level of craziness in the storyline. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Next chapter will be up a.s.a.p. Any feedback is appreciated.

Dean's POV

I sat on the edge of my bed glaring at the anchor woman. Pictures popped up in the upper right corner then blew up to full screen with the woman's voice in the background. The pictures displayed the destruction of the last three rooms Sam and I had stayed in. The last room we stayed in I had walked in on it getting trashed in a fight between Sam and a coven of witches, and he hadn't been doing too bad either. Apparently he had done something they hadn't liked very much, but what he could have possibly done to piss off four witches was beyond me. The room before that was shot up by a couple of grudge holding hunters that had an axe to grind with me. None of the damage in either of the other two rooms combined could match up to the first room though. The motel where Sam had fought off the Mullo. It really bugs me that I don't know what happened in that room. What gets under my skin even more is how close-lipped Sam is about the whole thing. Every time I ask him about it he gives me some cracked up story that comes nowhere close to explaining all the damage, causing several arguments where I voice my suspicions and he pawns off the same bullshit. The anchor woman's voice catches my attention.

“- to avoid further destruction all hotel and motel managers and owners along I-10 have issued a unanimous decree that no one be allowed to check into a room without allowing pictures to be taken of a valid photo ID. The ID of course has to be a state ID, drivers license or military ID, allowing few exceptions in order to-” 

I flick the television off and stand up throwing the remote onto my bed. Great! That's just fucking perfect! Now Sam and I are going to have to start squatting again. I am in the middle of pacing and running my hands through my hair when Sam walks in with a bag in the crook of his left arm and a six pack of beer in his right hand, my car keys held between his teeth. I walk over to take the bag from him as the keys hit the table.

“Awesome! Food's here!” I start rummaging through the bag. “I'm Starving!” As I root through the bag I get more and more desperate stopping to stare at the bottom when I get there. 

“Dude,” I look up to see Sam staring at me, “Where's the pie?” A shit eating grin spreads across his face as he pulls a triangular plastic case out of his pocket and throws it onto the table. I am already pulling it into my hands when I see that it's empty.

“Sorry, dude.” He shrugs with a snicker, “I ate it on the way back here.” I stare at him with genuine, open-mouthed outrage, or maybe it was horror. Sam breaks into gut wrenching laughs and tears pour down his face. I angrily throw the empty container at him, bouncing it off his head which only makes him laugh harder.

“Fucking asshole” I mutter sullenly while grabbing my food.

“Dude, I couldn't...help it...Lemon...meringue...so good!” He gasps out around laughter.

“Not helping yourself, Sam.” I growl out. Finally his laughing dies down to a chuckle and he walks over to me. I wave my fork at him and mumble around a mouthful of food.

“Nuh uh. Not a good idea, Sam boy. If you want all your bits to remain where they are, unharmed and intact, I would stay away from me right now.” He continues walking toward me. “Seriously. Dude, this has been a really rough couple of weeks and you fucking ate my pick-me-up on the way back, you prick!” 

He stops to stand before me, face surprisingly blank after his outburst. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out another triangular case. I refuse to look at it as he sits it next to me and feel a small thread of anger warm through me. 

“Seriously? One time was cruel enough.” I pick it up to throw it at him but stop and look down. 

A beautiful piece of lemon meringue pie stares up at me through the plastic lid. I set my food down as I feel my face pull into a ridiculous smile a second before I launch myself at Sam, knocking him to the floor. He is laughing underneath me as I straddle him staring back and forth between the pie and him. It really has been an ultra shitty couple of weeks and for some reason this stupid piece of pie makes me so happy. I lean down and hug him, my nose pressed into his hair as he wraps his arms around me and laughs. I feel his laughter rumble into my chest and vibrate in his throat and another part of me starts to get happy as well. I smile then pull back enough to look into his face from about an inch away. Sam is smiling beautifully and I can't help it. I lean in and place a small kiss on his lips then surge to my feet before he has time to react badly, or notice I'm getting hard. 

“Thanks, Sammy! I really need this!” I say cheerfully.

I keep that smile on my face as I turn around and see Sam looking up at me from the floor. His smile remains, but it's changed. It was more knowing, more devious and something else I can't identify, but that smile makes my heart skip a beat. He is leaning back on his elbows, the rest of him flat against the floor. My mouth begins to water looking at him like that and I have to force the smile to stay on my face.

“What?” I ask hoping I'm not giving away how I'm feeling. Sam's smile grows a little bit. 

“That is the second time you've kissed me.” I feel the smile slip off of my face and watch his grow. “If I didn't know better, Dean, I'd swear you want me.” He raises his eyebrow and tips his head a little to the side, some of his hair falling into his face. I swallow at the enticing picture he makes then turn around and force out a laugh that sounds semi-convincing to me while walking back over to the table.

“I think we need to get your head checked, Sammy.” His laugh sounds richly behind me and I turn to stare at him.

His head is back exposing his neck and he pulls his right leg up so his foot is resting on the floor. I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning at how good he looks like that. My hands are clenched into fists and sheer will power is keeping me from walking across the room to run my hands all over him. He lifts his head to look at me, cheeks flushed. My eyes snap to his mouth as he runs his tongue along his lips then quickly back up to his eyes in hopes that he hadn't seen. No use in hoping, one corner of his mouth is lifted in a wry smile.

“Really? Because I don't think I'm wrong, Dean.” I swallow a couple times wondering what has gotten into Sam. I had come onto him strong a couple weeks ago and he had flat out rejected me, hasn't even made mention of it, like it never happened. Now, he's teasing me?

“You're such a perve, Dean.” He laughs again, head falling back. I swallow a few times before I'm able to speak.

“Me? Look at yourself, Sammy, all sprawled out like a buffet before a homeless man!” Sam's head snaps up at that, a wicked gleam shining in his eyes, a seductive smile twisting his lips making breathing a little more difficult for me. I can't believe that just came out of my mouth. I pretty much just proved his point. 

“What is wrong with you Sam?” I mean it to come out demanding but it comes out weak and kind of breathy. He pulls himself languidly to his feet and stalks over stopping so close that a deep breath would make us touch. His eyes reflect sex, lust, pleasure, pain and something dark that I don't want to fathom. 

“Nothing is...'wrong' with me.” He says in a voice thick with too many things for my mind to grasp in that second.

The air shifts a second before a static pop sounds through the room cutting off the moment. He reaches behind me and snags a container of food right before the shuffle of wings sounds and Castiel appears. Sam moves away to sit on his bed and I take a deep steadying breath, attempting to calm my heart rate. When I look over at Castiel he is looking between Sam, who is shoveling in mouthfuls of food while watching the angel, and me. 

“Have I interrupted an argument between you two, again?” He asks in his matter-of-fact voice. Sam smiles widely and I chuckle and shake my head attempting to discreetly adjust my stiff cock into a more comfortable position without drawing attention. 

“Yeah, Cass.” I concede, “Aren't you always getting in the middle of our fights nowadays?” Cass nods. 

“It would appear so. You two should not fight so. One could come to a relatively damning conclusion as to the nature of your relationship from the frequency of your conflicts.” Sam laughs riotously, half choking around his mouthful of food making Cass's face screw up in confusion. 

“What have I said to cause such a jovial outburst?” He looks at me and I shrug, wishing Sam would shut up and go back to stuffing his face. 

I had no idea what was between Sam and I but it sure as hell wasn't brotherly and it sure as fuck was sinful, not that either of them were exactly prose worthy biblical figures. They definitely didn't need the angel to know about their...weirdness. Cass shrugs then walks over to the edge of my bed, sweeping his trench coat back and taking a seat. 

“I have come about more grave concerns than your issues with each other.” I came to stand at the foot of my bed and Cass looks up at me. “Lilith has broken another seal.” He stares between Sam and I and says, “35 of 66 seals have been broken. We must stop Lilith!” He says, standing and looking at us. “She must die! The angels are losing and Lucifer cannot be allowed to walk free among mankind.”

“And what more would you have us do, Castiel?” Cass and I both look over at Sam who is no longer eating but staring intensely at the angel. “Every time we fail to keep a seal from breaking you excuse it with the fact that we-” he uses his fingers to quote and puffs out his chest to imitate Cass's gruff voice, “'are merely men'.” he puts his food on the little table between the beds and stands up. “Why do you keep coming to us 'mere men' with these ridiculous, unachievable expectations when you and your angel army cannot even stop it?” He stares challengingly into Castiel's eyes waiting for a response that Cass doesn't seem to have.

“Sam, maybe you should tone it down a little. We're on the same side.” I suggest. He flicks his eyes over to me then back to Cass.

“No. I'd like to know why the angels shovel so much shit our way for not being able to stop this when we are two men next to an army of angels! Can you explain that, Castiel?” Cass looked as if he wanted to defend the angels and seemed to be searching for a good answer but eventually he sighs and looks away from Sam, who scoffs and throws his hands in the air.

“I cannot give you the answer you need, Sam, because I truthfully do not know.” He stops and watches Sam push between the two of us to begin pacing the open floor space in the room. “I do know that you two are to play a crucial role in this fight that has yet to reveal itself. You need to be patient, Sam.” Sam stops and stares at Cass.

“Putting up with all the shit you sling our way, is my way of being patient. Playing nice is negotiable.” He begins pacing again and I stare at him wondering when this hardened Sam had taken over. Cass's face filled up with a hot rage and he stepped in front of Sam, cutting him off mid-stride and forcing him to step back or bump into the other man.

“You might not like it but this is how it is going to be. Lucifer cannot be allowed to break free from his cage! So, I don't care how much 'shit' is slung at you, you will wallow in it like a pig in mud. You will be a good, obedient soldier, suck up your pride and help us fend off the apocalypse or so help me, I will dangle you as bait for the demon horde and kill Lilith one way or another...your life be damned.” Sam's eyes reflect a barely restrained fury that has me shifting nervously on my feet but he dips his head in acknowledgment. 

“I can be your friend or your enemy, Sam. Choose wisely. Just know that in this, I will not be moved. You either help us or become a hindrance, and I can assure you, that is not a healthy path to travel upon.” He spins away to face me and leaves Sam staring into the distance gritting his teeth. 

“The next seal that has to be broken is only 13 miles up the road in Fort Stockton. There will be a gathering, we don't know where, of 66 women. They will sacrifice their six month old babies then themselves under the blood moon in three days.” I spin away from him Scrubbing my face with my hands.

“Jesus Christ!” I exclaim. “Wow, you guys don't exactly make this easy, huh?” Sam scoffs in the background.

“War is never easy, Dean.” I turn to stare at him. “You have to stop this.”

“Yeah, Cass. I got it. We have to stop this.” Cass grabs my shoulders and shakes me.

“Listen to me. I will not stand for a misunderstanding between us at a later date. If you have not found a way to stop this an hour before the blood moon reaches it's apex Uriel will wipe Fort Stockton from the map.” I stare him in the eyes.

“Like he was willing to do to prevent the rising of Samhain.” I say. He nods.

“But this time you nor I will be able to convince him not to. It is, as you say, too late in the game for him, or any of the angels really, to worry about a handful of lives.” I shake him off at that comment.

“A city full of people such as Fort Stockton is hardly a handful of lives, Cass!” I exclaim. He stares at me with a sad look in his eyes.

“In the over-arching scheme of things, it is. There are seven billion people populating this Earth so it is seen as reasonable to sacrifice a city of people to save the world.” I shake my head and glance over to see Sam seated at the table giving Cass a calculating, blank look. “Every war has it's collateral damage, Dean.”

“Okay, Cass. We will stop the seal from breaking.”

“I hope so.” Is all he said before his exit was punctuated with the flutter of wings. I shake my head.

“Angels” Sam and I say in unison. 

“Not much for goodbyes eh, Sam?” I ask.

“Not that I care.” He grumbles. “I'm just glad he's gone.” I blink at him then walk over and fall onto my bed facing the ceiling. When we had originally found out about the existence of Angels Sam had been all gung-ho about them. Now, he could barely say the word angel without a healthy dose of disdain. I have to admit, they are self-righteous assholes, but...they're angels right? 

I sigh at the task ahead of us. We have three days to find and save 132 lives...no pressure or anything. If ever I was to become the praying type, now would probably be a good time.

 

··········  
2 days and 16 hours later  
Sam's POV

 

The local coven was big as far as covens went, thirteen in all...twelve, excluding the witch Dean and I had killed a few hours ago. They called themselves “the Disciples of the Horned God”, it figures they would be more of a satanic cult than a normal coven. They were working with the demons Lilith sent, controlling the women's minds, committing them to this mass matricide/suicide. All for the resurrection of their horned deity...dumb asses!We had told the local hunters that witches and demons were working together to gain the sacrifice of 66 women and babies in order to summon a demon of considerable power...it was as close to the full truth as we were willing to venture, but we needed the help. Three men were fighting with us through the line of demons circling the gathering of women. 

It had taken us so long to pinpoint the location. The witch we caught and tortured the information from told us the original location, but the coven had switched it at the last moment. Now, we had about ten minutes and counting before Uriel nuked the city. I ducked a fist that swung at my head and impaled the demon with the knife not stopping to watch the body hit the ground. I tackled the woman closest to me to the ground, sending her baby sprawling ahead of her. It screamed as it hit and I had a second to worry for it before I was zip-tying the wrists of the struggling, screaming woman behind her back. I managed to get two more women restrained before I was tackled into the dirt. I was flipped onto my stomach with a knee in my lower back. I saw dean running toward me, heard the Latin chant in the background coming from the mouths of the hunters. My head was bounced off the ground. I saw the world in streams but tracked the sound of a scream to the sight of one of the hunters helping us, Randall I think was his name, get his spine torn out through his stomach. I saw him fall to his knees a second before I felt a white hot stab of pain in my left shoulder blade. I heard Dean scream and frantically looked around to make sure he was okay, bucking underneath my assailant whose arm anchored around my throat bowing my upper body off the ground, the knife he had stabbed into my shoulder flashed upward and I saw and heard Dean's panic then Castiel appeared in front of him, snatching him away.

No. Oh no! I bucked wildly against my captors restraint. We are out of time. They are coming for us. We have failed. I heard the flutter of wings, a second later a bright flash of light flared around me followed by my would-be face-plant into the dirt.

“Nooooooooo...!!!” I was screaming and then I felt my stomach do a flip and all the screams and battle noises ceased. I was on my knees on a hillside with Dean on his ass staring wide eyed at me. Uriel was a few feet away, hands raised in the air. I surge to my feet and run towards him.

“No! Uriel stop! You can't do this! There are-” 

I was cut off by what looks like a giant wind sucking in toward the city pulling all the sound towards it, as if putting the world on mute, and a glowing white-blue light in to gather in a small ball in the center of the city. It disappeared for a second and the world seemed like it was holding its breath, offering a moment of silence before the tragedy about to occur. A ping sounded through the air like a pin dropping onto a metal floor from a long distance, only hyper-amplified, then the ball of light grew into a half circle of white-blue light that covered the city. It sounded as if the city screamed right before an explosion rocked through the atmosphere shaking the ground beneath my feet. A light white-violet colored shock wave swept the surrounding area throwing me a few feet back.

When I sat up it was over. Uriel let his arms fall back down to his sides and I stood up staring in horror at what lay before me. Where the city had once been lay a crater, steam rising up from it like from the mouth of a volcano. The surrounding area was barren, everything that had inhabited the space surrounding the city about 10-15 miles out had been blown outward to form a perfect ring around the devastation. Dean was the one to speak first.

“What have you done?” His voice was full of horror.

“I did what was necessary.” Uriel replied with a voice devoid of emotion. I felt my anger rise up like a tide and wash through me as I spun to face him.

“YOU THINK OBLITERATING 8,000 LIVES WAS NECESSARY!?” I scream gesturing to the crater. He turns to look at me eyes emotionless but a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

“Yes. Hardly worth all the blood and effort you spent isn't it?” I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

“THERE WERE GOOD MEN IN THERE! WOMEN! BABIES!” I screamed stepping towards him. His smile left and he seemed to be calculating the step I had taken as if waiting for me to advance on him. “Don't you care at all?” I croak out, voice hoarse from screaming. Uriel stared at me in silence for a minute, face never changing.

“Only as much as the value they held, which currently, happens to be the prevention of another seal breaking.”

“The value they held?” Dean asks sounding dazed with an edge of anger. Uriel turned to stare at him now.

“Yes. I've always found you hairless apes less than distasteful, so none of your lives hold any personal value to me.” His shrug was almost imperceptible. “Normally, I would not be allowed to commit such an act of destruction, but these are extraordinary circumstances that call for measures of which I much more prefer.” His voice was full of a humor that made me see red.

“You have crossed from outrageous to blasphemous, Uriel!” Castiel says, voice thick with anger. Uriel shrugs.

“I no longer believe our father cares, Castiel.” He looks out at the sparse trees that lay fallen on their sides. “I do mourn the loss of the animals my blast killed...such a regrettable loss of majesty.” His eyes displayed the smallest amount of sympathy but not enough to help me contain my rage.

“We were handling it, Uriel. We could have stopped it! We WERE stopping it! You didn't need to do this!” I took another step toward him and his head snapped in my direction, eyes glowing with anger.

“I allowed your pleas to influence my better judgment before. I gave you a chance! You failed to stop the rise of Samhain and only reinforced my decision to follow my instincts.” He raked his stare over me and when his eyes met mine they were a combination of disgusted and unimpressed. “You had a chance to prove yourself worthy and have been found wanting.”

I didn't think about my actions. I screamed and launched myself at Uriel only to find myself flying onto the floor of the decaying house Dean and I were squatting in. I surged to my feet to see Castiel and Dean staring at me from about 15 feet away.

“Why did you bring us here?” I stride angrily towards the angel in question. “He deserved whatever I could give him, Castiel!” He nodded at me. 

“He deserves so much more than what you can deliver. Neither you nor I can give him what he deserves for the deed he has done and the blasphemy that he's spoken.” I see the anger and loss glinting in his eyes, a thin film of tears that calms my own feelings a little. “We cannot change what has happened, Sam.” He patted Dean on the shoulder, then was gone. I stare at the space Castiel had just occupied and blink for a few minutes feeling my rage boil so hot I half expected my skin to slough off.

“FUCKING ANGELS!!!” I scream, startling Dean. He stares at me as I pace angry circles. I see the Impala sitting outside. Dean had refused to drive his baby to the massacre having said, “Just in case tonight should go horribly wrong, we don't need to add another casualty to the list.” I turn around and walk up to Dean extending my hand.

“Give me your keys.” I say. He stares at me as if he impulsively wanted to say no but something in my face must have changed his mind. He pointed to his bag propped against the far wall next to the table. I retrieve the keys then head to the door.

“Where are you going?” Dean calls. I never break stride, just continue moving toward the door.

“I need to do something.” I call back over my shoulder. I hear Dean call my name but I ignore him, getting into the Impala. I was going to figure this thing out one way or another.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hello all! So I just had this scene in my head and it wouldn't fade. This chapter is all about Sam's revelatory moment that is going to have a huge part to play in future chapters and a pretty hot Sam/Ruby moment! It is shorter than my most recent chapters but I promise you more in the next one! !Warning! Graphic content below! Enjoy, and as always, all feedback is greatly appreciated! See you soon.

Sam's POV

I turn down the barely noticeable dirt road by the designated mile marker and continue driving for little under a mile and a half. I see the little shack-like house, if that was what you'd call it, and pulled the Impala to a rapid halt, sending up a cloud of dust and dirt. Ruby is leaning against her black and red striped charger, arms crossed staring at me through the windshield, waiting for me to get out. I did. I was walking across the distance between the two of us when she spoke.

“I hope this phone call results in something similar to the last one.” A sultry smile spreads across her face. I feel an unpleasant smile curl my lips.

“Maybe we will get to that.” Her arms uncross and slide down her sides drawing my eyes down her curves, sweeping back her jacket, resting her hands on her hips. “You are going to answer some questions for me first.” Her smile grew and a gleam set up shop in her eyes.

“I'll play whatever game you want, baby, as long as it ends my way.” She pushes away from the car to stand on her own, tilting her head to the side and giving a small laugh. “But I'm a sore loser, so I might not play fair.” I walk right up to her and shove my hand into her hair using it to pull her against me and yank her head back so I am looking into her eyes.

“You will play by my rules or you'll find the game won't be very fun for you. Do I make myself clear?” Her eyes slide shut and a small shiver runs through her body. I pull her hair harder, wrenching her neck back to a painful angle. A small noise crawls out of her throat. “Do you understand, Ruby?” I feel a couple small tugs at the hair clenched in my hand signaling her attempt to nod until she realized the nodding thing wasn't happening.

“Yes.” She agrees throatily. I release her hair and shove her back onto the hood of her car, taking five large steps back. Ruby look back at me through a veil of hair breathing deeply then she sweeps her hair back and slides to a sitting position on the front fender. 

“I'm listening, Sam.” Her voice is still a bit husky but I have her full attention now. “What's the Game?” I had learned a long time ago that the best way to get what you wanted from Ruby was to bribe her with something she wanted. So, what had started life as an analogy was about to become my source of information.

“You are going to answer my questions. Every lie will earn you pain. Every truth will bring me one step closer to you.” She raises her eyebrows and leans back on her arms.

“That isn't much of an incentive, Sam. I don't think I like this game. What's my prize if I win?” I smile.

“If I reach you I will take an article of clothing off with every truthful answer. If you are naked by the time I run out of questions...” I smile wickedly and put the promise of sex and pleasure into my eyes. “I fuck you on the hood of your car anyway I want.” She returns my smile then her head falls back and her laugh rings through the air.

“Oh Sam. I think I like this game after all.” She cocks her head to the side and puts her index finger against her lips donning a face of mock confusion. “But, I'm not seeing any way you lose in this game.” I did. If she lied a lot I could go back to Dean not smelling of sex, not having to lie and feel a lot more satisfied knowing more than I do now. If she won I would fuck her, not that the sex isn't great, and have to lie to Dean. Either way, I was getting answers tonight. I smiled brighter. 

“I can't lose.” She laughs a little at that. “I designed the game that way. My game. My rules. And I say, the inquisitor, that being me, cannot lose.”

“Okay. So, what's your first question, inquisitor?” She asks laughingly. I already knew what my first question was going to be.

“What do you stand to gain from helping us keep Lucifer in his cage?” Her smile dims a bit but stays in place.

“I already told you why I'm helping you, Sam.” I stare at her until she sighed and continued. “If Lucifer breaks free from his cage hell rises with him. I happen to like it just the way it is up here. Why do you think demons try so hard to break free Hell and make it to the surface?” I stare into her eyes judging if she is telling the truth. I could accept that answer. I nod my approval and take a step forward. Ruby's smile grew.

“How did you know how to amplify my powers?” Her face didn't change this time.

“You know I was a witch in my human life.” I nodded and she continued. “I know the power to be gained from blood. It was a few drops of demon blood given to you as a baby that gave you these abilities. It only makes sense that demon blood would strengthen your abilities.” I saw no flaw with her logic. Again I nod, taking another step forward. 

“I hope you're asking questions you really want the answers to because by my count you only have three left before the clothes start coming off.” She is smiling confidently. I smile too while asking my next question.

“What broke the first seal on Lucifer's cage?” Her smile disappeared and she stared at me for a minute before shaking her head.

“I don't want to play anymore.” She was hiding something. I use my mind to extend my powers over to her. It feels like I am pushing a metaphysical fist into her body. She gasps and her eyes filled up with fear a second before I open that magical fist inside her, spreading it's fingers throughout her body. She collapses backward on the hood of the car and screams. I withdraw and she lays against the hood gasping.

“I didn't lie!” She yelled.

“You know the answer and refuse to state it. That is called lying by omission, love, and I won't stand for it.” I smile at the glare she throws at me. “So, I'll ask again. What broke the first seal?” She stares at me then shakes her head and sits on the hood again.

“You won't like the answer.”

“Answer anyway.” She leans forward placing her elbows on her knees.

“Dean was the first seal.” I suck in a sharp breath and hold it. I couldn't have heard that right.

“What?” My voice is soft with confusion and the hope that I had heard her wrong.

“The prophecy said, 'The first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell'. There are 600 possible seals that can be broken but the first and last are the hardest ones to break.” she stares at me as she continues. “Lilith, Alistair and the others had planned on John Winchester being the one to break the seal, but it was your brother. When he made the decision to step off the rack and begin ripping apart souls he shattered the first lock on Lucifer's cage.” I feel my eyes film over with tears. Dean couldn't know that he was the reason behind all this. The things he'd had to do down there were already tearing him apart.

“What is supposed to break the last seal?” My voice is surprisingly steady for all the emotions I have running rampant. She shakes her head. 

“I don't know. All I know is that it was destined that Dean break the first seal just as you are destined to either break the final seal or keep Lucifer locked away.” That shocks me.

“That can't be true. You're lying.” Her eyes fill with fear.

“I'm not! Sam, you have to believe me. Why would I lie about this?” My heart skips to a techno beat as my mind races.

“Why haven't the angels killed me if I'm the deciding factor?” She tips her head to the side staring at me like I have 3 heads.

“How the fuck am I expected to know the answer to that? Do I look like a feather head to you?” I glare at her until she sighs and continues. “I have to assume it has something to do with free will and all that. This whole thing is a gamble” She points at me, “And you're the horse everyone's betting on.” I stand staring off into the distance, my legs wobbling a little.

“Hey.” My eyes lock onto Ruby's. “Three questions, three truthful answers.” She slides back on the hood putting her heels on the front bumper and spreading her legs wide. “I believe...” She taps the stretch of hood between her thighs, “that puts you here.” She is smiling provocatively. 

As I stride over I feel my cock stiffen behind my jeans. I plant myself between her legs, grabbing her thighs to pull her tight against the front of me. I thrust my hand into her hair pulling her head back, bringing our mouths together in a ferocious kiss. Ruby moans into my mouth, her hands sliding over the flesh just above my hips and onto my lower back, kneading and pulling me closer. She fumbles with the shirt to get her hands on my bare skin. A small shiver runs down my spine and my cock twitches. 

I break the kiss and pull back, tearing open her shirt. Buttons fly everywhere as Ruby's body jerks into mine and a surprised gasp comes out of her. I pull her head back until it can't go anymore. Her body is stretched in an arc before me, breasts supple and cupped by her bra. A growl escapes my throat as I reach forward and grab the centerpiece of the annoying fabric blocking my view of her and yank it away, leaving nothing but red marks along her skin. Her breasts jiggle delightfully and a moan escapes her as she arches her back more with one hand bracing her on the hood and digging her fingers into my side with the other. She is such a tantalizing sight before me. I reach up and place my fingers along her jaw line trailing them down her throat and neck, spreading them wide between her breasts, she gasps and her hips wriggle against me. I close my eyes then open them and dip down running my tongue in circles around the her nipple. I feel her breathing increase, I can almost hear her heartbeat in every breath she takes. I smile at a small whimper she makes then pull her nipple into my mouth, twirling my tongue around it and sucking. She lets out a small shout and buries her hand into my hair. I cup her other breast in my hand and roll her nipple between my fingers while sucking at the one in my mouth. Ruby cries my name and shatters my resolve. I need to be inside her. I lay her back on the hood of the car and remove my hand from her hair. She stares up at me as I undo her jeans and lift her legs from around me to hook my thumbs under her pants and underwear. I stop at about the knees, I shove her legs forward a little more staring at her exposed, glistening, wetness. I push her knees into her chest, hands still tight around the jeans bunched at her knees. 

“Sam, what are you-” Her question turns into a loud moan as I lean down and run my tongue along the lips between her legs. 

Her flavor explodes in my mouth and I growl loudly, tearing her jeans off and spreading her legs until the outside of her thighs are flat against the hood. I don't know when she'd done it but my jeans were undone. Her hands reached down between her thighs spilling my erection into her hands that instantly begin massaging me. I grab her hands and fling them away. She sits up and begins trying to pull me down into a kiss, but I'm beyond that point. I wrap my hand around her throat and slam her back against the hood and without needing guidance thrust into her. Her loud strangled moan overpowers mine in the silence and desolation around us. I feel her nails sink into the flesh of my lower back as I move against her in powerful but languid thrusts. Her moans vibrate up her throat beneath my hand and she arches her back making the angle deeper. I moan as she thrusts her hips against mine, body rolling in a sinuous wave with equal zest. I change my rhythm from languid to the hard core brutal pace that I know she loves. 

Ruby screams a second later, finger nails tearing down my back, her body clenching tight and spasming around me. A throaty groan crawls up my throat at the slick, tight heat of Ruby's body milking me, making me fight for control. I feel her body begin to relax and smile as she moans my name loudly when I quicken my pace, swapping off between hitting that sweet spot deep inside her and rubbing over her g-spot. My name falls from her lips in ragged moans, fingernails leaving trails of blood down my back. I moan at the sight of Ruby writhing beneath me and then she screams my name, her body clenching around me. I throw my head back and shout as waves of pleasure rock through my body. When it is over I lay on top of Ruby who is running her fingers through my hair, lank with sweat.

“We didn't finish the game.” She says in a husky voice. I smile.

“Yeah we did. We just skipped a few steps.” I didn't have to see her face to know she was smiling, then simultaneously our laughter rang out into the night around us, bodies still joined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- What did you guys think? Any thoughts/opinions welcome.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hello Ladies and Gents! Last chapter was really short and I promised you a longer chapter, here it is, my longest chapter yet. It is graphic, plot-tastic, and it pulled my heart strings to write the end but I hope you guys enjoy it! Any feedback welcome. See you next time!

Dean's POV

His mouth is hot and wet around me, gliding down my length, soft lips brushing the skin at the base then back up. His tongue twirls around the head then he closes his lips around just the tip, sucking and licking like a lollipop. I sink my hand into his hair, fingers spasming against his scalp as he sucks me down his throat. A moan explodes out of me and I arch off the bed. My other hand shoots out, clutching at the sheets. The flat of his tongue slicks along the underside of my cock teasingly then he sucks the tender flesh of the skin between cock and balls. He sucks my balls into his mouth methodically then rolls them around, his tongue toying with them before pulling back and sucking my cock down his throat in a rapid rhythm that has my legs twitching and I'm ready to come in seconds. I feel his name forming on my lips but don't have the air to scream his name. A loud crash sounds in the background, startling me, then I'm screaming my release on a lungful of air I didn't know I had.  
The world is coming back to me in short bursts of color and sound but I see Sam above me, shaking me, a harried, almost battle expression on his face. I frown, this isn't right, it doesn't fit in with the rest of my dream. 

“Dean!” Sam's lips are moving but the sound is delayed like a bad voice over. 

I see Sam whirl and then he is gone in a blur of movement. I finally realize what is going on. I spring out of my bed and to my feet to see Sam pinned against the wall, smashing his fist into the face of his assailant and knocking him back. I look around attempting to survey the room but am tackled to the bed. A man is straddling me about to plunge a knife into my chest when he freezes, his black eyes get big as half dollars and shine with terror, a choked noise gurgles out of the back of his throat. He arches in pain above me and topples backward onto the floor. I fly to my feet and look around counting 14 bodies. Twelve writhing in pain, some screaming others making pitiful strangled noises, all of them terrified. There are two bodies laying in pools of blood. What is going on? A second later realization simultaneously makes my heart drop and stomach rise into my throat. I turn to see Sam against the wall where he'd been when I'd woken up. He has his hand outstretched, face placidly calm and an odd look in his eyes that makes my heart leap. I open my mouth to speak a few times without finding words. Sam looks over at me, catching my eyes challengingly, then the room explodes in screams and I whirl around looking in terror at the writhing bodies. A hand grabs my ankles and two pain and horror filled black eyes stare up at me, blood pouring out of the mouth of what was once probably a very sweet grade school teacher.

“Please-” She begs before letting go and arching off the floor, hands scrambling, a scream gurgling around the blood and thicker things pouring out of her mouth.

It looks like something is thrashing around under the skin of the screaming woman, stretching and contorting it. I look over at Sam to see him watching me and I am about to scream for him to stop when all twelve bodies sit bolt upright at once. I look back at the woman at my feet. Her head is thrown back, mouth open as if to scream, black eyes wide with tears pouring down her face. Her eyes flash a luminescent silver then she and all the rest of the bodies collapse bonelessly to the floor. Eyes human and normal and still wide in fear. I've seen enough death to know a dead body when I see one. Everyone in the room was dead. The horrible silence in the room resounds through me, a reminder of what Sam has just done. He'd exorcised twelve demons simultaneously. I look over at him to see he's still staring at me, not a single emotion on his face. 

“Sam...” My voice catches in the back of my throat and sounds thready. “What have you done?”

“He just killed twelve demons.” 

My head whips around to the opposite corner of the room to see Castiel standing there. He is propped up by the juncture of the walls, arms crossed, eyes never leaving Sam. I looked back at Sam, who hadn't even flinched at the sound of Cass's voice, to see him looking back at Cass, like he knew the angel had been here. Cass steps away from the wall and stops at the first body to cross his path, crouching next to it and examining it before standing to his full height again.

“He can't kill them only exorcise them.” I say. Cass looks at me like I am being naive. 

“Do not play dumb, Dean. You and I have both seen him exorcise demons before. Did what he just do look anything like that?” 

I look around at the bodies. Cass had popped in during a fight back in Cincinnati where Sam and I had been outnumbered six to one. I was about to be thrown out a window 26 stories up when Sam had exorcised all six at once. Cass had ripped into Sam threatening him if he didn't stop using his powers. That had been little over a month ago. Now Sam had just killed twelve demons with his mind. Apparently Cass accepted my silence as answer enough, dipping his head in acknowledgment of my horror. He looked over at Sam.

“I warned you a month ago to give up using your demonic abilities.” He gestures around him to all the dead bodies. “Clearly you have ignored my warning and continued on this path to destruction.” Sam simply stares at the angel then responds with a blank face.

“I will destroy Lilith. I won't let you keep me from doing what only I can do.” I stare at him in awe. What only he could do? Cass stares at him as well then dips his head in concession to Sam's statement.

“I am not arguing that you are meant to stop Lilith, simply that it cannot be done this way. You cannot use these powers you possess to do it.” Sam chuckles and turns his back on us to walk to a small room off to the left. I hear the snap and fizzle of a can of soda opening then Sam props himself in the doorway taking big mouthfuls of soda. He looks at Cass.

“I don't know everything about my powers yet but I know I have many capabilities. One of them is being able to see into the future as I'm sure you know.” He takes another sip of his soda then grimaces, leans down and places it on the floor. When he stands up again he looks into Cass's eyes. “I don't get headaches anymore. It's like a movie flashing across the inside of my eyes. Sometimes it isn't so clear and I only get bits and pieces.” He shuffles and crosses his arms. “I had a vision of you the other day.” Cass visibly starts at that profession. “Do you want to know your future Cass?” The angel just stares at him. “It's kind of vague but its enough to paint a pretty grim picture.” He sounds as if he is trying to make a point. 

“Sam-” I was about to cut him off but the glare he shoots me shuts me up.

“Sometime, not so far in the future, you will take something with the intention of helping people. You will believe to the very depth of your bones that what you are doing is right and will not stop at anything to achieve your goal.” Castiel shuffles uncomfortably. “People who trust and believe in you will be hurt. I see them crying. I see death, loss, misery, angst. You will spend many years redeeming yourself.” He stops and stares at the ground for a few minutes in which I watch Cass fidget and stare at Sam nervously. My stomach does a weird flip flop when Sam looks up with a sad expression in his eyes. I want to scream at him to spit it out. “You will not realize how wrong you were until the thing that will come to mean the most to you is gone.” His voice is thick with sadness, and oddly enough, longing. I assume he longs to not see whatever he knows will happen come to pass. 

“You really saw that, Sam?” I ask him, not wanting to believe his prophecy. He nods then slides down the doorway into a sitting position. 

“I have also seen the rise of Lucifer.” He looks at me. “I have seen his face, dean. That is why I need to stop him, but to do that I need to stop Lilith.” He looks at Cass now. “She is too strong to defeat on our own. I need to use my powers.” Cass shakes his head while looking at the ground. Sam doesn't move but his voice is tinted with anger when he speaks. “Why is it so bad that I want to take the curse that was forced on me and do something good with it?” He stands. “Him.” He points at me. “You.” He points at Cass. “Everyone doubts me and I do not understand it.” Cass shakes his head and looks into Sam's eyes.

“You are naive if you think using the power it would take to kill Lilith comes without a price.” He takes a step closer and Sam stands straighter as if bracing for something, which did not slip the angels attention. “Only two things can result from that Sam. You have to realize that not even angels can kill Lilith with our powers, as strong as we are. Lilith is Lucifer's very first demon spawn...the strongest of them all.”

“So, because you guys don't have the juice you don't think I am capable of stopping her because I'm not like you?” There is an increasing edge of anger to his voice. Cass shakes his head.

“That is not what I mean to imply at all. Complete the opposite in fact.” Sam looks taken aback. “It is because your powers are so much different than ours, that you are capable of such an act. That is why you cannot use them to stop her.” Sam looks confused. “You cannot use powers of this magnitude without repercussions. You will either meet your death in your attempt to stop her...or become an enemy the likes of which Heaven nor hell has the resources to fight.” Deafening silence fills the room and the floor feels as if it has just dropped out from underneath me. Sam shakes his head and locks determined eyes with Cass.

“This changes nothing. I will stop her.” Cass closes his eyes and stands still for a second. When he opens his eyes to look at Sam they are filled with pain and regret.

“I cannot allow you to do that. Should you choose to continue down this road, I will have to do everything in my power to stop you...even if it means I meet my own demise.” I stare at the angel in horror, my heart racing a million beats per second. “There are seven seals left. I suspect it will not be much longer before the last of them is broken.” He turns around and moves away a few steps before stopping. He looks back over his shoulder. “Please, do not make me have to stop you, Sam.” Then he is gone with a sonic pop and flutter of wings. Sam and I stay in silence for a few minutes. Sam drinking a beer now, me standing motionless in nothing but my boxers. Sam turns and roves his eyes over my body. He walks up to me and looks down at me with a small smile at the corner of his mouth.

“What were you dreaming about?” I can hear the smile in his voice and look down at myself remembering the incredibly hot dream I had about us. A blush lights a fire in my face as I see the come staining the front of my boxers. It had been a really busy twenty minutes. 

 

°°°°°°°°°°  
Sam's POV

A lovely blush burned in his face. I remembered the way he had writhed in his bed.

He'd kicked the blankets to the floor and shoved the pillows into the headboard twisting the sheets beneath him. Dean's cock was so hard, standing straight up in his boxers. He moaned, his chest heaving with pleasure. I had been sitting in my chair at the table when the show had started and as I walked to the edge of the bed I was so hard it hurt. Dean arched up off the bed and his cock popped out of the slit in his boxers. I moaned at the sight of his hard, pink length, a drop of precum trailing down from the tip. I wanted to reach out and touch him. His hands buried themselves in the sheets mouth opening and closing as he gasped for air. I swear it looked as if he were mouthing my name. I got my confirmation a second later when I heard him gasp out my name. I couldn't help it. I grabbed the sheet he'd kicked to the floor and put it on the bed next to where I was kneeling just in case he woke up, I'd have an excuse for being over here. I reached out and brushed my fingers along the head of his cock coming away with wet fingers. He cried out making me shiver with the need to touch him more. I slid my fingers in my mouth moaning at the bittersweet flavor of him. A second later Dean arches off the bed in an almost painful half circle and screams out my name and comes, thick ropes of liquid jetting up into the air and coming down to land on his boxers, bed and stomach. Then the door splintered open behind me-

I snap back to to reality with a start when Dean punches me in the chest and looks back at the floor while attempting to cover the stains on his boxers with his hands. He moves away and bends down snatching his jeans off the floor, yanking them on. He turned back to face me and I feel the smile that had been stretching across my lips disappear as if it never was. Dean's eyes were glowing with anger and I know we are about to fight. I sigh and walk over to the table, turn a chair to face Dean and sit down.

“Okay. Lets have it.” My voice sounds resigned. 

Dean stares at me from across the room, arms crossed, the button on his jeans still undone, shirtless and tousled from sleep. I have to fight the urge to sigh at how sexy he looks standing there looking like that, his anger only adding to his appeal. He looks as if he has a lot to say but doesn't know where to start. Dread gathers like a lead ball in the pit of my stomach.

“Sam-” He looks at the bodies all around the room and shakes his head. “What the fuck?” I feel both my eyebrows raise and then I laugh making Dean's eyes snap over to me. “What is so funny?”

“I had to do what had to be done.”

“This!” He gestures angrily at the bodies on the floor, “This is what was necessary?” A tense smile stretches my lips.

“You were about to be stabbed in the chest. We were outnumbered 12 to 2 with only one demon killing knife between us...and you were half asleep. What was I supposed to do, Dean?” He glares at me then explodes.

“I don't know, Sam! Anything but this!” Again with the gesture at the room full of dead bodies. I take a breath and slowly count to five, gathering my patience.

“They were going to kill you, Dean.” My voice was filled with a false sense of calm.

“SO WHAT!?” His face is scarlet with anger. “Both times you have used your powers it's been to save MY ass! I won't let you do this, Sam! I WON'T!” I feel my anger surge through me and have to fight to stay seated. My jaws clench tightly together and I squeeze my eyes shut tight. “My ass isn't precious enough to sacrifice your humanity!” I open my eyes to glare at him.

“It is to me.” I grind out between my clenched teeth. Dean just blinks at me for a few seconds before he lets out a frustrated scream and rips his hands through his already tousled hair a few times. 

“DAMNIT, SAM!” He spins and points a shaking finger at me, taking a few steps in my direction. “You are not going to do this because of me!” I feel my reserve snap and surge to my feet.

“I'm not just doing this for you, you arrogant bastard!” Dean looks as if I had slapped him. “Have you any idea the monstrous things that Hell will puke out if Lucifer is to rise?” I gesture broadly around me, “All of this? All the people that we kill ourselves for, saving a couple or handful at a time? It will all be for nothing if Lucifer gets free.” Dean is fervently shaking his head, not looking at me. “Don't you realize that hell rises right behind Lucifer if we don't stop it?”

“I will not let you sacrifice yourself, Sammy!” He growls, still looking at the floor, hands on his hips. I throw my head back and laugh, bending over clutching at my stomach. The laughter just bubbles out of me, tears pour down my face. When I regain my composure I look up to see Dean looking somewhere between angry and confused.

“Don't be a hypocrite, Dean.” I chuckle again. “Every person we save is a sacrifice we have to make. A pound of flesh here, a trail of tears there.” I shake my head and smile, looking Dean in the eyes. “We justify everything we sacrifice with the good we do, the monsters we kill, the people we save. What makes this so different?” Dean looks at a loss for words and when I cock my head questioningly he shakes his head.

“It just...it just is, Sam. You can't do this.” I step forward and flinch when Dean recoils a step. Then anger coils through me.

“Why, Dean? Huh? Why is it so different? Because YOU aren't the worm on the hook? Because for a change it is me that has to sacrifice something, not you?”

“YES!” He screams and moves forward a few steps.

“Why are you the only one that is allowed to martyr themselves, Dean?” His eyes look around frantically and fill up with tears before settling on my chest.

“Because it is my job. You are my responsibility.” He looks me in the eyes. “I have to take care of you. And I say you WILL live, god dammit!” My own eyes fill with tears and I shake my head, my rage exploding out of me.

“NO! Not this time, Dean!” I take another step toward him bringing me five feet in front of him. “This time it won't be me that has to figure out how to live without you. It won't be me that wonders if I will ever see you again. I WON'T be the one who spends every breath of every waking moment dedicated to finding a way to raise you from perdition.” Dean's tears break free and fall down his face making my heart clench. “I will not, cannot, do that again.” I can't stand the look of loss on his face so I turn away and pace back to the window. “I have to do this Dean. I have the ability to save all of humanity. I can save YOU this time. I'm the only one that can do this.” I turn around to find him about ten feet from me. “You have to let me do this, Dean.” He shakes his head and I heave a massive sigh.

“I can't, Sammy. Not even the angels want you to do this. I can't watch you attempt this.”

“WHY?!” I scream, chest heaving in anger. 

“BECAUSE YOU CAN'T WIN!” I flinch at his confession. “You heard Cass! He will destroy you even if it kills him just to keep you from using your powers to stop Lilith! And if you succeed in fending off Cass you die anyway...” He stops and swallows a few times before continuing. “But what if you don't die? What if...what if you become this unstoppable monster?” His voice cracks on the last question. I don't hesitate. I close the distance between us and put my hands on either side of his face lifting it up so I can look him in the eyes. 

“If that happens, I trust you will find a way to stop me.” A choked sound escapes him and I feel his head move frantically back and forth. I still his head and nod my own. 

“You will stop me because as much as you love me it is somehow our responsibility to do what we can for the best of humanity.” I feel like I am getting through to him when he closes his eyes and cries silently for a second. Then his fist smashes into the side of my face throwing me to the floor, almost on top of a body.

“NO!” I look up to see him pacing a small circle. “NO! NO, no, no, no, no!” He whirls and looks me dead in the eyes. “NOOOOO!” He angrily strides over to stand a few feet from me. “This-” He gestures at the room full of corpses, “Is as monstrous as I am allowing you to get! You WILL NOT do this!” My breath catches in my throat. “I-WON'T-LET-YOU!” Each word is extremely punctuated and clipped. 

He storms off in the opposite direction. My eyes burn with the need to cry and my throat constricts making it difficult to breathe. Dean thinks I'm a monster. I sit on the floor in a daze for several minutes hearing Dean bang things around in the bathroom. Dean just told me I'm a monster. I pull myself to my feet and haul myself over to flop into my abandoned chair. Dean emerges from the bathroom with his toiletries bag and snatches up his book bag, shoving clothes into it. He moves around the room in a storm of anger, stepping over the bodies that are everywhere. 

“Come on. Get your shit together! We have to clean up this mess and get out of dodge.” 

I get up and numbly move around gathering the few things I have. Every time I get anywhere close to Dean he flinches and moves further from me. I feel my anger spiking. I sit down putting my bag between my feet watching Dean move around. He leaves the room taking his bag out to the Impala then returns and stares at the bodies. 

“What are we going to do about these?” He asks it aloud but sounds more like he is asking himself. I stare at him until he looks at me with a questioning look on his face. 

“Well? Any ideas? Otherwise we are going to be doing a hell of a lot of digging!” The anger in his voice pisses me off. What the hell does he have to be angry about? I get to my feet never looking away from him.

“So, you think I'm a monster, huh?” My voice is full of challenge. Dean doesn't say anything just puts his hands on his hips and hangs his head loosely between his shoulder blades. I scoff and snatch my bag off the floor, slinging it onto my shoulder and moving toward the door. 

“What are we going to do about the bodies?” Dean calls out. 

I stop and take a few breaths to regain my composure then turn around to glare at him. That was all he had to say to me? Dean flinches at whatever is in my eyes but doesn't break the gaze. I feel a cold smile curl over my lips and let my power coil inside me, focusing it into the bodies in the room, filling them up. The bodies visibly twitch startling Dean into looking around the room. He looks at me, eyes full of fear, as I wave my hand in the direction of the bodies. Like a match flicked onto gas soaked coals, the bodies went up in green blue flames. Dean jumped and yelped at the 14 controlled fires and backed into the wall nearest him. I can feel the heat from the flames devouring the corpse nearest me. I turn and walk out of the room, pulling the straps of the book bag into their proper places, settling in for a long walk. A few minutes later I hear the patter of feet behind me and turn to see Dean running after me. I stop and wait for him to catch up.

“Where are you going?” I laugh and turn to start walking again.

“Did the flames go out?” I hear Dean jog a little to keep up with my fast pace

“You know they did. They went out right after the bodies were gone. There is only ashes left, not even any scorch marks.” He sounds breathy.

“Good. Ashes are a lot easier to dispose of than bodies right?”

“Sam-” 

“You're welcome.”

“Dammit, Sam!” He grabs my arm and pulls me to a stop, spinning me to face him. “Where are you going?! Did you forget we have a car?” I laugh and shake his grip off.

“No, Dean. You have a car. A car I won't be getting into.” His face falls.

“What, you're just going to walk to the next town?” He asks sarcastically.

“Yes.” I turn to keep walking and hear Dean make a frustrated noise then begin jogging to keep up again.

“That's more than eighty miles from here!” I shrug. “Come on, come back with me and get in the damn car.” I stop and spin to face him so suddenly we make full frontal contact. Dean jumps back.

“No.” My voice is low and flat. “I am done, Dean.” I shrug the book bag into a more comfortable position. “I will stop Lilith and you can't stop me. You won't help me and I won't let you get in my way.”

“Sam-” 

“No, Dean.” He stares at me like a kicked dog waiting for the next blow. “I am tired of living under your constant scrutiny, doubt and distrust. I will not live beside you and watch you look at me like the monster you believe me to be. I'm done.” I turn and start walking again. It is a few minutes before I hear Dean's running footsteps behind me. 

“Sam! I'm sorry-” He grabs my arm again and I spin to face him. This time Dean saw it coming and decided falling back onto his ass was better than colliding again. He looks up at me with a lost puppy look in his eyes. “I'm-”

“Don't.” I cut him off, closing my eyes. “You aren't sorry, Dean. Not yet. But you will be.” I open my eyes and look at him pulling himself to his feet. “You don't have to watch me do anything. You heard Castiel as well as I did. There are only seven seals left, ergo not much time left before Lilith has to be stopped.” 

“What are you getting at, Sam?” I chuckle at his willfully ignorant question.

“I am going to do this without you.” Dean shakes his head. “I wanted to do this with your support but you have made it painfully clear that isn't going to happen. So, stop following me and go back to your room. I believe there is a mess waiting to be cleaned up.” Dean stutters. “I've made your job really easy, if I do say so myself.”

“Sam, you can't be serious! You can't-”

“If you say I can't win I swear I will hit you!” Dean's eyes fill up again. “It's over, Dean. Go back to your Impala and drive away. It's your fault its ending this way. All I wanted was your support. That's all I wanted. I can't live my last days being looked at like a monster. But I can give you something.” Dean looks expectantly at me.

“What?” His voice sounds pained and gruff.

“A jump start on learning how to live without me.” He flinched hard, tears breaking free. “It should be massive fucking weight off your shoulders.” I feel my heart squeeze in on itself as he looks back down the road toward the hotel then back at me. “Yeah. It looks like a long road when you know you have to go it alone, doesn't it?” 

I turn around, hitching my back pack into a better position and walk away. I hear the smallest of sobs from behind me and my own tears pour down my face, but I wasn't turning around. I prayed to whoever might be listening, begging them to watch over, Dean.

A/N- Thank You for reading! As always, any feedback is appreciated.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hey ladies and gentlemen! This chapter is the longest I have written yet. It features the POV's of Ruby, Sam, and Dean. I just could not stop writing this chapter! So much happens in this one that I felt I kind of had to add the disclaimer below. Let me know how you feel about my little twist at the end.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer- Vulgar language, some violence, Sam/Ruby romance, Some Wincest, Emotional trauma

Ruby's POV

I feel the smug smile on my face at my success. I glance over at Sam in the passenger seat, staring out the window, not moving. I remember when he had come to me three nights ago. 

I didn't know where he had come from or how he had known where I was but when I turned around I had run right into him, sploshing my drink down his chest, he was so close. He had nothing but a back pack settled on his shoulders as he calmly reached out and steadied me. As I looked into his eyes my heart clenched, surprising me. His eyes were a mercurial blend of sorrow, anger, loss, regret, determination and something else that wasn't in my vocabulary to define. He just stood there, staring at me, hands still gripping my upper arms, almost as if he was afraid to let go. 

“Sam?” I feel worry pang through me. 

What's happened? How'd he find me? Has he found me out? A sour spike of fear makes me go cold at the last thought. If Sam knows what I'm up to I know the game is over, and so am I. I pull myself together and turn to put my drink back on the bar, turning back to lean up and put my hands on either side of his face. His eyes snap into focus on mine showing me a tenderness that scares me. It isn't the tenderness he is displaying that scares me...it's how my heart flutters. The treacherous butterflies that beat their wings against the lining of my stomach. The noises of the bar fade into the background and my world narrows down to the man in front of me as I watch tears well up in his eyes. My own eyes sting as I lean forward and wrap my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest. His arms engulf me, his cheek resting against the top of my head, one hand against the small of my back pressing our bodies together, one hand buried in my hair. I begrudgingly let my eyes slide shut at how good this feels.

I feel fear try to rise in me at the tender memory but it is smothered by something I don't want to think about. I clear my throat and shake my head to clear my thoughts, sitting straighter as I drive. Sam is still looking out the window. He had come to me three nights ago, distraught over the game changing fall out he'd had with Dean. We had spent all night having sex. Some rougher than usual, some brutal...some sweet, soft and tender. We had spent three nights together and three days in which he had insisted on unrelenting training. Tonight he had killed a troop of thirty demons, I'd counted. And he'd done it without using his hand to focus his powers and with no struggle at all. Those stupid fucks hadn't even had more than chance to spin around and look their death in the face before they were writhing puddles of flesh. It had taken maybe half a minute then Sam had turned abruptly on his heel and walked out leaving me standing there with my jaw on the floor. 

I pulled up to the motel that Sam had told me he wanted to stay at tonight. He had said he wanted to think about everything when I had met him outside the foreclosed house we'd find the demon troop in. The car is idling outside the main office for a while before Sam turns to me finally and offers me a small smile. I feel a genuine smile spread across my face in return.

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you tonight?” I ask suggestively. 

He chuckles, a small masculine chuckle and leans over the console and kisses me. His lips are soft, sweet and undemanding. I find my fingers twining into his hair and I'm leaning into the kiss advancing as he is retreating until the console gets in my way and I can't keep the contact. He gives that masculine chuckle again then pops the door open and snags his bag out of the back seat closing the door gently behind him. I roll the window down.

“That was your version of a no?” He shrugs one shoulder with a smile playing across his face. I shake my head smiling in return. “We really have to work on your body language.” He raises his eyebrows and leans in the window to show me an amused and mocking face. I roll my eyes but my smile grows wider, “Okay, maybe non-verbal communication is a better way to phrase that.” He laughs richly, a deep belly laugh that is contagious and has me laughing as well.

“Good night, Ruby.” He winks at me and turns to start walking. I hate to see him leaving me, but damn does he look as fine going as he does coming...maybe, better.

“Hey!” I call out when he is a few steps from the office door. He stops and turns to face me. “You did great tonight!” He stares at me for a minute then acknowledges my comment with a dip of his head.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Ruby.” With that he turns and goes into the office. I sit in my idling car for a minute, staring at the door he'd just walked through wishing he didn't want to stay alone tonight. I sigh and put the car in gear, gliding out of the parking lot smiling at the prospect that I would be seeing Sam for sure tomorrow.

 

···········  
Dean's POV

 

I pulled into the parking lot on the opposite end of where Sam's room is so he doesn't hear the roar of the engine which I'm sure he's more than familiar with. I get out and walk all the way around the motel coming around to the side and then hiding in the shadows. Sam comes out and goes into the main office. I see him standing at the vending machines and smile. I have ample time knowing how Sammy is about picking snacks. I jog across the small parking lot, pulling out my lock-pick ready to jimmy the door open but when I get there I find the knob turning easily in my hand. That's weird. Sam is usually pretty paranoid about locks when he is by himself. I slip inside, survey the room and sit at the little table off to the left hand side of the door in the corner. It is cast in shadows, the only light source in the room being the bathroom. That is also weird. I sit very still as the doorknob turns and Sam walks into the room. He is carrying a bag of oven baked something or anothers. I roll my eyes. Leave it to Sam to make a junk food healthy. 

He walks across the room and my eyes follow him, tracing over his hard body. He is wearing a pair of jeans and a button down like usual. He still hasn't turned a light on and I'm beginning to get impatient. He walks over to his nightstand and I hear the squeak and ripping sound of cellophane then Sam turns around and stares right at me.

“Hello, Dean.” His voice is flat and his face blank, as if he knew I'd been there the whole time. He pops a chip into his mouth. I look at him in shock. No way could he have known I was here. I watch his eyebrow raise.

“Why do you think the door was unlocked?” I blink in confusion for a second. Had I said that out loud? Sam smiles as he pops another chip into his mouth. Such a pretty smile. It had been too long since I'd seen Sam smile. His smile got wider and I sit up in the chair a little more. This is weird...really fucking weird. I find myself thinking that it might just all be a coincidence. I clear my throat.

“So, you knew I was coming?” He nods still looking at me. It is unnerving that he is staring right at me even though I know he shouldn't be able to see me cloaked in the darkness of my corner. His smile gets a little wider but he turns around and picks up a bottle of soda I hadn't seen him carry in, uncapping it and taking a drink. 

“How?” I ask. 

He responds only by capping his drink, putting it and his chips down on the bedside table then tapping his temple. I watch him cautiously as he walks slowly to the end of the bed, staring at me the whole time and takes a seat on the edge. I wasn't sure what he meant and found myself floundering over a million possibilities. Sam shakes his head.

“I've had the same vision the past two nights of this conversation between us.” He looks at me. “And for the past two days I have racked my brain attempting to find a way to change the outcome.” I feel my face scrunch up in confusion.

“Then why are we here having this conversation?” He shrugs.

“Every decision I made to attempt to steer away from this moment has only brought me closer.” He throws his hands up in the air, gesturing at the room then me. “So, here we are.” I blink in silence for a moment then I just have to ask the question that is bugging me.

“You've spent the past three nights rolling around with that demon slut. Why stay in this hotel tonight?” He looks at me as if I am being daft.

“You're being daft.” I jump at him stating almost exactly what I'd been thinking. Just a coincidence, just a coincidence, just a coincidence...I mutter to myself in my head. He shakes his head again. “Every night I've seen you trailing me, following in my footsteps. I knew you were watching me. You've been watching me all day.” 

My heart skips beat. Did he know just how closely I'd been watching him? That I had seen his morning wrestling session with that whore. That I had watched it like I was watching a car wreck. I just couldn't look away. I had watched every thrust, every hair pull, every kiss, lick and bite. I had watched the entire fucking thing while my heart turned green with envy my dick grew harder than I'd ever remembered it being before and I had to fight the urge to run in there and stab the bitch. Sam's smile grew and his head dropped to hang loosely between his shoulders. 

“So you saw what I did earlier?” I shook my head but realized he couldn't see it since he wasn't looking.

“No.” I swallowed then continued, “I saw you and demo-...Ruby, storm the joint then about thirty seconds later you came out. I saw you wait for Ruby, you guys got in the car then the whole building went up in those bluish-green flames.” I stared at the back of his head while I finished. “I watched the building burn to the ground...it took all of five minutes until nothing but the concrete foundation was left.” Sam lifted his head so that I knew he was looking at me but I couldn't see his face past the curtain of hair covering half of it and the dimness of the room. 

“Well, at least I don't have to live out that part of the conversation.” His voice was blank, probably a reflection of his face. 

“What part of the conversation?” I hated that he already knew what was going to happen. It was as if life was a movie and he'd already seen the end of but wasn't willing to divulge the details. He shakes his head in response to my question. “What part of the conversation don't you have to worry about, Sam?” I was getting irritated. Sam's head cocks to the side but he answered. 

“The part where you call me a monster...again.” 

I can't see his face, but I sure hear the disappointment and sadness in his voice. God I wish I could take away all the pain. Sam stands in one smooth motion and turns away to strut a small circle. He only does that when he is irritated, frustrated or angry and fighting for control. What did he have to be angry about? Sam's head whips around in my direction and I can just feel the glare burning into me. 

“What, Sam? You got something to say? 'Cuz if you do, say it. I'm tired of waiting for this tension to explode.” I sigh then feel a zing of something through the atmosphere in the room that makes me get to my feet and rub my hands up and down my arms as if to ward off a cold chill. Had Sam done that?

“Yes.” I jump. He'd done it again.

“Stop that! Stop answering my questions before I ask them!” His head turns in my direction again.

“Yes. I have something to say.” 

I feel the heat behind those words. But find myself calming down. I have got to stop over reacting. Sam scoffs and the hair raises on my arms. I cannot help how unsettling it is to know he has seen the future and keeps doing creepy shit like responding, even if it isn't verbally, before I audibly speak. Sam shakes his head.

“I think you should leave.” I take a step toward him but he takes one back. “Before you get any more freaked out.” I tried to put on a front to show that I wasn't freaked out but I couldn't. It wouldn't matter anyway since it sure felt like Sam could see me and now he'd probably be able to see through my bullshit. “You've never been able to hide behind your bullshit...so don't think now of all times will be an exception.” I stare open-mouthed. He'd done it again. “I can see and hear that you are scared of me. So, you should leave.” I don't know what to say to that. I want to leave and at the same time I want to root myself to the floor and refuse to leave until I am satisfied.

“I'm not going anywhere. I didn't trail you for two days just to walk out of here without talking to you!” 

I feel the anger building up in me at the memory of Sam walking away from me...again. His words ring through my head. “It looks like a long road when you have to go it alone, doesn't it?” Sam makes some sort of undefinable noise in the back of his throat. And I damn near explode. First, he'd left me with tears streaming down my face on the side of a desolate highway, choking on my pleas for him to stay. Then, I had to see him with that fucking demon thunder-cunt. Now, he is trying to get rid of me again. No not this time! And for fucks sake would he turn a fucking light on! I can feel the fight brewing between us and fights are most satisfying when you can see your opponent. I search the room with my eyes wondering where the switch would be when I'm suddenly blinded by all the lights flickering on at once. Sam had not moved from where he'd been...yet every light in the room was on: the bedside lamp the overhead light, the lamp sitting on the table I'd been sitting at, even the bathroom door was open as far as it could go. 

“Bright enough for you, Dean?” He sounds pissed, his hands up in the air in a broad gesture indicating the room. 

 

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Sam's POV 

 

I watch Dean flinch a step back into the chair he'd vacated not a couple minutes before. I feel the fear radiating off of him, though he is putting up a very good front. The skin around his eyes is tight and his mouth twitched at the corners but other than that I wouldn't have been able to tell, except now I can feel it. A wave of sadness cascades through me. I had done it out of anger, now I wish I could take it back. I was about to ask what he had come here for but am, as the proverbially saying goes, beaten to the punch.

“Enough of the parlor tricks, Sam. If I wanted a magic show there are plenty of hokey little towns across the country that cater to that sort of thing.” I stare at him waiting for him to continue. He sighs and finally does. “Cass came to visit me.” If he was waiting for a reaction he wasn't getting one, he figures that out and continues without me needing to say anything. “There are five seals left, did you know that?” He asks as if he wants me to plead ignorance.

“Yes. I am well aware of how many seals are left.” Confusion clouds over his face.

“Why didn't you show up in Toronto to help us stop the sixth seal from breaking? You had to of seen the omens. Were you paying attention?” Indignation pours off him in waves.

“Yes. I knew where the last seal was broken well before it was, in fact, broken.” Dean's jaw drops open for a second then comes the explosion I know was inevitable.

“THEN WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!?” I stand watching his explosion with an odd sense of calm.

“I was training with Ruby. I thought you'd have known that since you've been following me.” Deans face scrunches up in repugnance.

“You chose to blow off saving the world so you could suck on that demon slut's neck?” He scoffs then belts out a bitter laugh. “Wow, Sam. I don't even know who you are anymore!” I let his words sink in and feel anger glide through me like a welcome friend. 

“There are 666 potential seals, Dean. 666! Only 66 of them need to be broken and there are only 5 left.”

“I know that, Sam!” he takes a step forward angrily pointing at me. “That's why Cass and I needed you to be there! And you left our asses hanging out in the wind!”

“Your being obtuse, Dean! I don't think you realize the depth of the situation. There are 666 ways they can pop the lock on Lucy's box!”

“You already said that, Sam!”

“Yeah, well apparently you weren't listening the first time! There isn't exactly a rule that says those seals can only be broken in North America. There are six other continents, and we can't be everywhere! Fuck, not even the angels can do that!”

“What's your point, Sam?” A fresh wave of irritation rides through me making me have to close my eyes and count to twenty slowly before I can continue. 

“You just don't get it, Dean.” I open my eyes to stare at him. “Only two seals matter, the first and the last. The other 64 are strictly procedure that has to be followed.” Dean stares blankly at me waiting for me to enlighten him further. He truly doesn't understand. I can't help the frustrated growl that crawls up my throat. “Listen to me when I tell you, Dean, it was never about stopping the seals from being broken.” Dean opens his mouth to cut in but I stop him by cutting him off. “It's always been about Lilith.” Outrage paints his face about ten different shades of red and pink.

“Are you kidding me, Sam! This is a war and you have let that demon slut on your shoulder brain wash you! Of course it is about the seals! If we can stop them from breaking the seals the last one doesn't matter!” He takes another two steps forward. “Maybe if you stopped dining all your meals between Ruby's thighs you would have known that!” For a second I see the world in infrared. I stare at Dean listening to his vulgar, crude and infuriating thoughts.

“No, Dean. You never listen to anyone else. Maybe if you weren't so damned bigoted you would realize that that “demon slut” on my shoulder was always right! This war is being fought on two fronts and all the effort is being centralized in the wrong places.” Dean looks like he is about to explode. “Ruby knew all along that killing Lilith would short circuit the entire thing.” Dean shakes his head. “Lilith can't break Lucifer free if she's dead, Dean! I thought of the two of us you'd want to see the bitch dead just as much, if not more than I do! Or did you forget that it was her hound that sent you to hell?” Dean screams in frustration then strides up to me stopping about an arms length away.

“SHE HAS YOU EATING OUT OF HER HAND, YOU STUPID SONOFABITCH!” I see images of me between Ruby's thighs flash across his mind. I feel his rage and envy at the images. Something inside me snaps and I feel a seductive smile slide into place. Dean looks taken aback, shocked even. 

“It pisses you off doesn't it? The great Dean Winchester is wrong and a demon is right.” I hear his outraged denial. He still thinks his way is the only way. I laugh and step toward him, closing the distance between us. Dean steps back. “But I know what really gets under your skin, Dean” I take another step forcing Dean backwards. “It bugs you that I've fucked a demon woman.” I advance on him again and again he retreats a step. “It bugs you that I am acting on my own, against you.” Dean's back hits the wall I'd backed him into and he turns to look at it quickly as if wishing it weren't there, then back at me. I close the distance between the two of us so that every time one of us inhales our chests touch. “It bugs you that I'm not fucking you.” I say staring into his eyes from inches away. He swallows convulsively a couple of times. “I've seen the way you look at me. I've heard you moan my name in your sleep.” He closes his eyes and I know it is because he can't look at me. I lean forward and run my nose along his neck making him jump. I pull back just enough to see him staring at me and I smile. “It just kills you to know that I've fucked Ruby countless times.” I lean in and place the flat of my tongue on the pulse in the side of his neck laving at it. “That I've held her down and fucked her. That I've clamped down and drawn her blood into my body while thrusting into her tight, wet heat.” I nip at the skin just under his jaw and hear his breath catch, I feel his pulse racing, fluttering against the skin of his throat. “Does it bother you that I've sucked and licked her pussy until she screamed my name?” He jerked at that last and shoved against me trying to push me back but only moving me a little. 

“STOP IT!” He tries to shove me again and I grab his wrists, shoving them above his head and closing the distance between us. 

Our bodies are flush together from chest to thighs. He gasps. I finally give into my urge and kiss him. It is a rough, almost bruising kiss that catches him off-guard. I flick my tongue against his bottom lip asking for entry. He holds out and I decide to change the pace. I soften the kiss into something sweet and sensual, licking and nipping. All soft and passionate. Dean groans and opens his mouth. I dart my tongue in and claim him moving my hips in a slow circular rotation against him. He moans into my mouth and I feel him struggle against my hold on his wrists. He tears away from the kiss throwing his head back, panting for air.

“Sam-” I run my tongue along his throat then bite down slightly at the pulse on the side. He gasps and arches into me. “Fuck-” he gasps out. I laugh throatily against his neck and he shivers. I can feel how hard and ready he is against me and I have to bite my tongue to keep from moaning. 

“Sam-” Again I cut him off. I trail one of my hands down his arm and into his hair, griping it and using it to pull him into another kiss. He moans into my mouth again and I swallow it down with one of my own that tries to break free. He breaks free from the kiss and bucks against me.

“Sam! Stop dammit!” I stare into his hooded eyes from about an inch away feeling his ragged breath ghost across my lips. 

“I thought this is what you wanted?” I see that sexual darkness flash across his eyes then fade behind something else and I know why he doesn't want to do this. I throw my head back and laugh long and hard. “Oh, Dean!” Another bout of laughter sweeps over me and then I look him in the eyes as I lean forward and run my tongue along his bottom lip. His eyes slide shut and a small shudder runs through him. “If it's how perverted this makes you feel, I wouldn't worry too much about that.” I place a gentle kiss against his lips. “It isn't like I will be around in the near future to remind you of anything.” His whole body jerks in response to that. He stares at me in horror for a second then I feel his rage right before he head butts me. I let go of him and stumble back a step. 

“You fucking ass hole!” He is slumped against the wall and pissed. He stands straight and shoves me back a couple more steps. “You take love 'em and leave 'em to a whole 'nother fucking level!” I swipe the back of my hand underneath my nose, clearing away the blood. He is glaring a hole through me. “So what? You were just going to fuck me then go off and be some self proclaimed martyr?!” Dean's voice was getting louder. “I would never regret doing anything with you! So why give me what I want right before you go on a suicide mission? Give me a little piece then snatch it away forever!” 

I couldn't help but grin at his reaction, which was, of course, the wrong thing to do. His face goes blank as he takes two steps forward and grabs the back of my head bringing his knee up to smash into my face. I fall to the floor and stare up at him still smiling and a little dazed. His face is confused and pissed off. 

“What the fuck is so funny, asshole?!” I pull myself to my feet standing about three feet in front of him.

“Here I was thinking you didn't have the balls to fuck me because you were creeped out by wanting your brother.” I laugh sardonically. “Turns out Dean, the heart-breaker, Winchester is afraid to get hurt.” To my shock Dean bursts out laughing. 

“That's...what you think...this was about?” He gasps out between laughs. He looks me in the eyes and says with a very straight face, “Sam, we have never been brothers.” I'm confused and about to ask what the hell he is talking about when the images slam into my brain, staggering me. 

Daddy walks into the room carrying Sam. He is cradling him on his hip as if he was coddling the world itself and glances up at me briefly then back at Sam. I walk over to sit next to him on the couch. He is getting Sam to drink some kind of Juice out of a sippy cup and laughing at the little noises he made. When I sit down Daddy never looks up.

“Daddy? Why do Sammy and I look so different?” I finally asked the question that had been bugging me. I really want to ask why daddy treats us so differently but he might get mad at me. He looks at me, gets up to sit Sammy on the floor with his toys and cup then walks back over to sit down next to me. He sighs and leans forward resting his elbows on his knees. 

“Do you know where babies come from, son?”I had seen a couple of those adult movies on when daddy went out and left me in the motel to watch Sammy.

“Yes.” He looks at me as if he hadn't expected me to answer that way. I look at the floor, expecting to be yelled at. Instead he rests his hand on my shoulder and when I look up he has a small smile on his face.

“It's fine, son. I'm glad I don't have to have that particular talk. Actually, it's probably good you know that.” He mumbles something under his breath that I can't really hear but it sounds like he is thanking god for me being so mature for my age. I preen a little.

“Okay...” He clears his throat and looks uncomfortable. “Uh, I don't really know how to say this. So, I'm just gonna put it out there.” He looks at me briefly to make sure I'm listening, which of course I was because daddy gets mad if I don't pay attention to him when he speaks, then looks back at the floor between his feet. “Mommy and I wanted a family so badly. We'd been married for years and still mommy couldn't have a baby. We tried and tried and every time she cried. We couldn't take it anymore...I couldn't take it. So I asked if we could make a family in another way.” He looks at me then. “Do you know what adoption is, son?” 

I shake my head no and he sighs and seems to trip over his words for a couple minutes. When he finally started talking again he spoke slowly as if choosing each individual word. 

“It is where parents who want their children to have better lives than they can give them send their babies. They send them their so that they can find new mommies and daddies that love them and nurture them the way they deserve.” I feel the tears building in my eyes and daddy looked a little nervous.

“My...mommy and daddy didn't want me?” The tears broke free as he sighed and pulled me into a hug.

“They weren't your real parents, son. Your mom and I are. They were just your incubator...you'll know what that means in a few years.” I sobbed as he pulled me into his lap to hug and hold. Then he unwrapped his arms from around me and lifted my face up by my chin to look at him. 

“Look at me. Just because you and Sammy came from different places does not make you any less my son! You don't need to be blood to be family, son! I want you to always remember that.” I closed my eyes, crying harder. “Promise me, Dean. Promise me you will always remember that.” I look at him then over at Sam.

“Does that mean Sam isn't my brother?” He shakes his head and pulls my attention back to him. 

“Don't you ever say that! Where you came from makes no never mind to me. You are both my boys and I love ya both the same!” He points over at Sam. “You see your brother over there?” I nod my head and he squeezes me tight in his arms then pulls back to look me in the eyes. “You are his big brother...and that is a lot of responsibility. You have to always take care of him. Never let what we have go, Dean, 'cuz we're all we got. You understand?” I nod.

I struggle to break free from Dean's memory and fall to the floor. I hear someone making an odd noise and realize it is me. Realizing that helps me stop and when I look up Dean is crouched over me with a sad smile on his face. He reaches out and brushes his thumb underneath my left eye, wiping away a tear that had broken free. 

“I'm sorry, Sam. I was going to tell you-” I shoved him back onto his butt, surging to my feet. I can feel the tears sliding down my face as I pace a small circle, anger, shock and anguish tearing through me.

“WHEN? WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME, DEAN?! HUH?” He sat there staring at me. “YOU GET A LITTLE PISSED AND DECIDE NOW, WHEN I AM FOUR SEALS AWAY FROM MAKING THE BIGGEST DECISION OF MY LIFE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING I'VE EVER LOVED AND BELIEVED IN WAS A LIE!!!” Dean is shaking his head and getting to his feet, looking panicked and coming towards me with his hands out in front of him in what looks like a plea, but for what I don't care. 

“It isn't a lie Sam. I do love you! I have lived my entire life with this knowledge and it has never once deterred me from loving you!” I am the one shaking my head now. I just cannot believe no one, NO ONE ever thought it might be nice to tell me. I point in the direction of the door. 

“You need to leave.” I hear Dean sputtering, I feel the anguish and sorrow pouring off him in waves. 

My world becomes silent but I can feel him moving toward me, I feel the air shifting around his body, smell his skin as he gets closer. It isn't a conscious thought but I know I want him to leave and my power reflects that, slamming the door to the room open so hard it ricochets off the wall to the point where it almost closes again. I don't say anything else but I feel Dean stop moving, feel him staring at my profile, then I feel him leave the room leaving nothing behind him but the smell of his skin and the salty scent of tears. 

A/N- How'd you guys feel about this one?


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hey guys! This chapter isn't as long as the last but I think you'll like it. Enjoy! Please, remember to give feedback, you guys hurt my feelings when you won't talk to me! :-( Beware, shit is about to get real! Oh yeah! For all you Dean lovers, this chapter is all from Dean's POV.

Dean's POV

I had spent the last seven days trying to find Sam without any success. I just can't let things stand as we left them. He has to know that I have always loved him and that nothing he saw had ever had any effect on that. My heart clenched up every time I relived that moment. Watching Sam fall to his hands and knees, the pain on his face the tears falling from his eyes and the high pitched keening sound that pierced my heart, that I was relatively certain he had not realized he was making. I sighed and shook it off, continuing my watch of the doors to the bookstore I had watched Sam disappear into almost a half hour ago. It had taken a week of near constant running to find him but earlier this afternoon I had finally done it...with lots of help from Cass and Bobby. 

Sam exited the store with a bag in hand and walked over to his car, opening the door and folding himself smoothly into the interior, closing the door behind him and starting the car. I sat still waiting for him to pull out of the parking lot and a bit down the road before starting the Impala. I switched the headlights off and geared up the car, easing out of the parking lot to fall into a steady pace about twelve car lengths behind him. We drove for a while and when I saw the city limits coming into view I slowed down watching his car get smaller and smaller in the distance. There was nothing but a dark stretch of highway ahead. It isn't a very smart move to drive down a dark highway without any headlights, and using them would mean risking him detecting me, which I wasn't ready for. I pulled the Impala to the side of the road and reached into the back seat retrieving the chunky laptop that Bobby had given me. I smiled in relief at the knowledge of having slipped a GPS in the undercarriage of Sam's car when he was in the bookstore. 

As the screen booted up and I pulled up the tracking software my eyes widened. Sam had traveled three miles and change in the two and a half minutes it had taken me to pull up the GPS. He was hauling ass! He must have been flooring the gas pedal, maxing out the speedometer. I couldn't recall Sam ever driving so fast. He wasn't really reckless...or at least he hadn't used to be. I set the laptop up on the dashboard and turned the key in the ignition, sliding forward. I turned the headlights on and followed behind, glancing at the laptop screen on occasion. Where the fuck was he going that had him driving like a bat out of hell? Thirty-seven minutes later I found myself standing in the tree line of a forest staring into the dimly lit windows of a run-down cabin. It was buried in the woods so far from the rest of the world that privacy was a term that would be considered a massive understatement. As I strained my eyes to see anything in the dimness my eyes caught the outline of something in the glimmer of pale light that was flickering inside the cabin. The walls were covered in red markings and...what was that? I squinted my eyes and leaned forward. What was that? It looked-

“See something you like?” I flinched and whirled around. 

Sam was posted with his back against the tree, one leg bent behind him so the flat of his foot was resting on the bark of the trunk and his arms were crossed. He was staring right at me and some trick of the light showed an odd sparkle in his eyes and the soft curve of his smile while keeping the rest of his face cast in shadows. My breath hitched. Now that I had finally found him I couldn't find any of the words I had imagined would fall from my lips with ease, passion and love. I could only see his outline but this was the closest we had been in over a week and my mind swirled with the memory of him. The excruciatingly sweet softness of his lips molding against my own, the way his hard body felt as it fitted against mine. I could almost feel his hand holding my wrists above my head as his tongue plundered my mouth. I felt my cock twitch at the memory of his hips rotating against me. A small sound escaped my lips as my head moved back slightly at the feel of his fingers gliding along my scalp and palming a handful of hair, pulling my lips back to his. I snapped out of my reverie when I heard Sam sigh. I watched him shuffle a bit, switching feet so that his other foot was now propped against the trunk. It occurred to me that neither of us had spoken since Sam had first made his presence known. Hadn't he asked me a question. A small chuckle escaped Sam that sent chills along my spine. He was doing it again. 

“Get out of my head, Sam.” I hadn't spoken loudly but it was so quiet out here my voice rang through the darkness clear as a bell.

“Sorry. You make that task a little difficult when you are thinking so...loudly.” His pause made me stop breathing for a second before I figured it was time to get to what I really came here for. 

“Sam-”

“I know.” I cocked my head to the side.

“You know what?”

“I am well aware there are only three seals left.” He sounded so very calm about it as if he wasn't worried.

“Will-”

“Before you finish that question, I will tell you, the answer is no.” My mouth opened and closed a few times as I searched for the right words. Sam shook his head. “I will not join you and Castiel on your wild goose chase to prevent the seals from breaking.”

“Sam-”

“Listen to me carefully, Dean, because I will only say this once. It occurs to me that I have wasted so much of my life always trying to get you to see things from a different perspective and every time we always did everything your way, whether it was the right or wrong thing to do. I told you the last time you came to me that this war was being needlessly fought on two fronts. I have tried to explain to you my point of view and, as usual, you will hear none of it.” He is silent for a minute before continuing. “I will not waste my time or energy on your fruitless battle. I will end Lilith with, or without you. She is the end to this all but you refuse to see it...and I am tired of trying to get through to you. Do what you will, but don't waste both our time with more pleas to join you.” His head moved up and I felt his eyes on me. “I will not.”

I could only stare at him as his speech played back through my head. He did sound truly tired, yet he was the most determined I had ever seen him. I remembered Cass threatening to destroy Sam if he continued down the path he was on, regardless of the cost to his own life. I felt the sting of tears as I realized, finally, that I was going to lose my brother and my best friend and confidant at once. 

“Sam...you remember what Cass said that night?” Sam stood up from his post against the tree and I saw him nod his head. “You remember what He promised would happen if you chose to continue your way?” Again he nodded.

“Yes. Of course I remember.” He sighed and his head fell back so that it looked like he was staring at the stars. His voice took on a deep, gruff tone that I recognized as his impersonation of Cass. “'Should you choose to continue down this road, I will have to do everything in my power to stop you...even if it means I meet my own demise.'” I watched his throat as he spoke, following each movement of his Adams apple. “I don't want it to come to that, Dean.” He lifted his head so that he was looking right at me. The light landed in a line across his face exposing his right eye and cheekbone. “I truly do not wish to fight Castiel.”

“Then please, please join us! Help me and Cass and the angels. Help us stop this.” Sam shook his head and turned his back to me, walking a few steps away from me. 

“I can't.”

“Why? It can't just be because of-” Sam whirled around to face me.

“And why can't it be? Why can't I just not believe in the same things you do?” He folded his arms again. “I am honestly baffled at how you can stand by the angels after all they have done.” I felt my face crumple right before Sam continued. “Or did you forget what Uriel did to Fort Stockton?” I flashed back to that night, to the silence and what sounded like the city screaming right before it was obliterated. “He killed them, Dean! All of them! Over 8,000 lives gone forever...for the sake of one seal that in the end, is meaningless.” 

“Sam, I know that night is haunting. I was there too but you can't-” Sam scoffs.

“Unbelievable.” He shakes his head and falls back into his original pose against the trunk of the tree. “You were there and yet you still can't see how corrupt the angels are.” I started to try to speak but Sam cut me off by holding up his hand. “No. I don't want to hear your explanation because honestly, I do not care anymore. I cannot...no, I will not stand and fight with the angels.” Anger swirled up like a storm inside me.

“Oh, but you'll stand with the demons?!” I scoff. “Like that is so much better?” I hear what sounds like pain in Sam's voice when he speaks next.

“Yeah...I will. I will stand with the Demons, before the angels. You want to know why, Dean?”

“YES!” It explodes out of me. I wait for several moments waiting for Sam to continue, expecting an angry outburst similar to my own.

“Because the Demons know just who and what they are. They don't attempt to hide behind a holier than thou arrogance. They don't kill thousands of people and shrug it off claiming it to have been done in the name of God or the natural order or whatever their holy-fucking-rolling excuse is. Yes, I would sooner fight with the demons because they are closer to human than the angels ever will be.” I felt my jaw drop at the sincerity I heard in his voice.

“You have got to be joking.” He shook his head.

“No. I am not.”

“Demons are not better than angels, Sam! They certainly are not more human!” He cocked his head to the side and laughed! He actually laughed!

“Oh, Dean. You are so naive.” He shook his head. “What is a demon but a human soul that has been twisted and warped into the darker, more primal side of humanity? Angels were never human, they are a creation of God and are more warped than demons because of it.”

“You aren't making any sense, Sam!”

“Yes I am. You just aren't listening...as usual.” He popped up off the tree and took a few steps towards me. “Can't you see it. You heard Ruby. Humans kill so indiscriminately they have racked up a body count so high in the last century it is impressive to even the most top notch demons. What's worse is, we are killing ourselves! And no one cares.” I shake my head as Sam takes a few more steps toward me. “Murder is encoded into humans. We don't just murder for survival. We murder for anything, large or small, from stepping on a pair of overpriced shoes, to avenging a murdered loved one. It is our most basic primal instinct next to preserving the species. So riddle me this, what makes humans so very different from demons?” I couldn't wrap my head around what Sam was proposing. My voice came out numbed with shock.

“So you trust a demon more than me or Cass.” It was more a statement than a question, but was met with more laughter from Sam.

“Hell no! I said I understand them more. I didn't say I trusted them.” He took another step toward me and dipped his head down to catch my attention. “Just as I said I would SOONER fight with the demons than the angels...not that I was or am.” I was confused and it must have showed on my face because he continued. “I do not fight for the Demons...and I WILL NOT fight for the angels. I am doing this to save humanity, though sometimes I have no idea why. However, I am going to make this very clear. I do not trust any of them fully, be it demon, angel or human...” A small smile comes to his face which is only a few feet away now. “Save a few individuals.” It all sounded so very complicated and I couldn't exactly put my finger on what he was implying but those thoughts faded as another came into my head.

“Sam you can't do this.” He rolled his eyes.

“I thought we had already covered this.” I thought of Cass and Sam coming to a head. My beautiful, pale, naive, loveable angel and my sexy, brilliant, strong, wonderful brother. I saw both of them fighting, blood trailing from welled up faces and gashes. I looked at Sam and was surprised to see a look of sadness plastered across his beautiful face.

“I know. I don't want that either.” I didn't remember tearing up but a single tear broke free, gliding down my cheek.

“I can't-” I had to cut myself off to prevent the sob the was threatening to escape. I swallowed a couple of times and shook my head, staring at the ground. “Sam, I can't. I can't lose the both of you. Dad, mom...” I shook my head and looked at Sam feeling more tears slip down my face. “I meant it when I said that knowing I was adopted never kept me from loving you.” I took a deep breath to stave off the sob building up inside making the back of my throat ache, “I have always loved you. I can't lose you, Sammy. I can't lose either of you. You, Cass and Bobby are all I have left.” 

I looked at the ground and took a lot of very shallow, fast breaths, fighting the panic threatening to burst from me in emasculating sobs. I hated how pathetic I looked, but I needed Sam to know. I had already lost him once. The memory of seeing Sam falling to his knees, his eyes rolling back into his head as choking sounds of pain fought their way out of his throat, holding him in my arms and calling his name feeling the life I so treasured flee from the man I loved...that did it. A sob broke free and I bit my lip to keep the rest in, shaking my head. I folded my arms across my stomach to calm the rolling waves of nausea. 

“No. It would...kill me. I can't-” I closed my eyes and began to turn away. I walked out of the forest into the small clearing that surrounded the run-down cabin Sam was squatting in. 

I hadn't heard him but I felt his hands on my shoulder, gently turning me around. I averted my eyes to the ground, dipping my head to hide the tears that had leaked out of me. Sam did three things at once: he wrapped his arm around my waist, pulled my body flush to his, and used his thumb and forefinger to lift my face to where I was looking the short distance up into his eyes that were inches away. I stared into his eyes seeing pure love for me, sorrow for what I was feeling, regret at what he was still going to do, longing, passion, understanding and something that I couldn't quite put my finger on that made my already racing heart beat faster than I thought possible. He didn't speak. Instead he leaned into me. I tilted my head up a little, my eyes instinctively closing, ready for the kiss I knew was coming. The world was drowned out by the bass of my heartbeat flooding my ears. The incredible softness of his lips swept across my right eyelid in the sweetest, most fleeting kisses. Like a butterfly licking away the salt on skin, he kissed away my tears. As he moved from my right to my left eye the tenderness of the moment shattered me and I knew it would haunt me for the rest of my life. 

Once he was done kissing both eyes he pulled back. I stayed put for a few seconds regaining what little composure I could. When I finally opened my eyes I was delighted to see he was only a breaths distance away, watching me. My heart raced and I wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine again. I wanted it so badly the thought of him moving away from me without kissing me brought tears to my eyes. 

Sam's breathing hitched and he smiled a little as he stared into my watery eyes. His hand traveled from my chin along my jawline into the short soft hairs at the base of my neck. My eyes slid closed as his fingers glided along my scalp until his palm was flat against the back of my head. His fingers curled closed clenching a fistful of hair lightly enough to draw a gasp from me and strong enough to leave the impression of more. He froze that way for so long I had to open my eyes. He was staring at me, lips parted, breathing irregular, and his eyes shone with passion and desire, but his arm around my waist and the tension singing through his body suggested he was fighting it. Again I imagined him pulling away now and a desperate sound escaped my throat. 

His head slid back and his eyes closed, pulling in a deep, shaky inhale, exposing his throat. I moved forward, pulling against the grip he had on my hair that only tightened the closer to him I moved. A thread of pleasure shot through me at the pain of fighting his hold, my lips meeting his throat. A small twitch went through Sam at the contact and his fist closed more firmly in my hair making me gasp against the skin under my lips. Sam let out a small groan that had me pressing my lips flush against his neck. He used my hair as a handle to yank my head back suddenly, a tiny moan escaped me. He stared down at me eyes gleaming in the moonlight that shone on his face. Why was he fighting this? I wanted it and I knew he did as well. What was the problem? I wanted him so bad my whole body was aching for the smallest touch. Just a kiss. God I wanted him to kiss me! His hand spasmed, pulling my hair a little tighter than relaxing back into the pressure from before making my breath hitch. His lips parted and he pulled in a deep, steadying breath, eyes sliding shut. I didn't want steady. I wiggled against him drawing a hiss from his throat that made me moan. My hand shot up to slide along his shoulder blade, up to his shoulder, squeezing and trying to pull him closer. He was rock hard with tension and I was on fire everywhere.

“Sam...” I cried. “Please.” My plea sounded tortured and lustful but it must have worked because a sound crawled out of Sam's throat that made my cock twitch as he closed the small distance between us, angling my head using the hair he had clenched in his fist. 

All the tension left him as our lips met. Oh god! His liquid soft lips moved against mine and when his tongue flicked against my bottom lip my mouth opened without any conscious thought on my part. As his silky sweet tongue glided against mine and he claimed my mouth time didn't exist, the world faded away and all I felt was the rock hard body molded to my own and the hand buried against my scalp sending waves of pleasure through me with every contraction of his fist on my hair contrasted with the indescribably soft sugar of his lips as he labored the most passionate kiss I had ever had against my mouth. The kiss could have lasted a minute, hours or days...I don't know. However long it was, it wasn't long enough. When he pulled away it was entirely. He tore himself away with a sharp inhale, walking the several steps back toward the edge of the forest where he threw a hand against the side of a tree to lean against. He hung his head, shoulders and chest heaving. I stood there weaving back and forth on unsteady legs. I felt as if someone had increased the pull of gravity because it was incredibly hard to keep my feet. My heart beat and heaving breaths resonated through me blocking out the sounds of the world. 

“Stop.” Sam's voice was husky and had me biting my lip. 

It took me a second to realize what he was talking about until I realized I had unconsciously been moving toward him again. I must have stopped when he said to because I wasn't moving now. He lifted his head so that I could see he was shaking it back and forth. “We can't do this.” I thought the ground had opened beneath me.

“Why?” It was no more than a whisper. Silence followed my question and then came the answer.

“Because. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have to.” My heart soared with happiness. He hadn't said he didn't want me, that this was disgusting, that I repulsed him- Sam whirled and had an incredulous look on his face. “Never! I would never think that.” A manic smile crept over my face and I took another step forward but he backed up a step while shaking his head. 

“Stop. Dean, stop.” He held his hand out in the universal sign to stop. “There are only three seals left. You were right when I kissed you back in that hotel room.” He shook his head and looked at the ground. “I can't think of anything worse than to give someone what they want, a taste of completeness, then snatch it away.” his head shaking became violent for a minute then he met my eyes. “I won't do that to you.” 

I stared at him for several minutes, taking in every feature, attempting to ingrain all of them into my skull. I remembered all the times I had wanted him, all the dreams and nights I had woken up to see him sound asleep next to me. I remembered that night in the hotel when he had presented everything that I had wanted for so long. I looked at him now and a smile crept over my face as I realized that I couldn't not have him. Not just for me...for him too. If things went sour at the end of this whole Lilith thing, I didn't want him to have never had the peace he had just spoken of and I knew that I would never be able to live with myself if I let this moment go. I wanted him so very badly. Sam's head snapped up from where he had been looking at the ground. His eyes held a dark heat in them as they met mine that seared me to the bone and sent my cock into what I can only describe as a mini seizure. Oh GOD! I thought I was going to come right then. I knew he had heard my whole thought process and at this moment...I couldn't seem to give a fuck.

“I want this.” Sam cocked his head to the side. “Please, Sam.” 

A smile began to creep across his face holding the promise of every naughty thing done in the dark that set my heart racing. A thousand thoughts flashed through my mind and a loud moan escaped my lips. As the image I had concocted, that had haunted me, of Sam naked and wet in the shower flashed across the inside of my eyes I dropped to my knees. My eyes found his as he crept out of the tree line into the moonlight. His lips parted to pull in more air as he came to a halt staring at me. I slid my hand down to my chest and I watched his eyes follow it. My hand glided down to the waist band of my jeans then continued south until my fingers brushed across the tip of my cock. A small hiss came from me and then I pushed my palm with a little pressure down the length making me arch my back and moan, throwing my head back. I fell forward onto my hands shaking with the need for Sam to come over to me. I rolled my eyes up to look at Sam who was closer than I remembered and was panting, eyes filled with sex. My voice was throaty when I spoke, but I had never wanted anything more.

“Fuck me, Sam.” 

A/N- I am my own editor so please forgive any grammatical errors you may have found. How did you all like this chapter?


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- Hello ladies and gents! This chapter is kind of short but for all of you who have stayed with me thus far, pinning for some Sam/Dean action...ready yourselves! As the proverbial saying goes, the shit is about to hit the fan. This chapter is all in Sam's POV. Please read the disclaimer below...mind the warning! Enjoy and have a great weekend ya'll! R&R, please. 
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer- Graphic sexual content, Wincest, vulgar language...don't like this type of stuff then you probably shouldn't have made it this far into the story.

Sam's POV

 

I saw the image of myself flash across his mind. I was in the shower, arms extended over my head, washing my hair. Water and suds were running in rivulets down my chest and shoulders, my cock bobbing gently in time with the scrubbing. I broke free of the image when I heard Dean cry out and fall to his knees. I swear my heart stopped for a couple beats when Dean's eyes met mine and he began to run his hand down the front of his body. When he got to his cock a hiss left his lips crossing the distance between us, sending an electric thrill through me. Then he moaned as his palm brushed down the firm length, arching his back then falling forward onto his hands. My breathing hitches and I have to part my lips to pull in more air, seeing Dean posed like that, shaking with need. I hadn't remembered moving but I was closer than I was before. Dean rolled his eyes up to look at me and I heard the plea cross his mind before his lips. 

“Fuck me, Sam.” His eyes were shining with desire, his full lips parted, chest heaving. 

He looked so fucking sexy like that. My cock twitched with need. I wanted him so bad it hurt. I took a few steps before stopping. I had meant what I said. Yeah I had been privy to the whole thought process Dean had projected so loudly, but he had no idea what he was doing. He thought he could do this, for the both of us and I wanted it. God I wanted it...almost more than I wanted my next breath! I shook my head to try and clear it but I heard a noise that brought my head up from where I had been looking at the ground near my feet. 

Dean was crawling across the grass toward me. The muscles in his back coiling and uncoiling with the motion. He looked sultry, smooth and sexy in an almost unnatural way, like he had muscles in places he shouldn't. I had never seen someone look so unearthly hot. Crawling on your hands and knees usually looked pathetic or demeaning, but he made it look seductive. I wanted to move back, but I didn't. When he had come as close as he could, which was pretty close seeing as his nose had brushed my thigh, he sat back on his heels and stared up at me. I loved the pleading look in his eyes, the hope of pleasure giving his face that slack, sexed up relaxation. I closed my eyes and swallowed a few times, trying to regain my composure. Then I felt his hands touch my knees. He slid them up my thighs then across my hip bones, fingers dipping underneath my belt and the hem of my pants. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. He pulled himself up to his full height while staying on his knees and moved those last few inches until his body was flush against my legs. I balled my hands up to keep from touching him but I couldn't look away. I couldn't pull back and stop him as he slowly lifted his hands from my jeans to lift the bottom of my button-down, revealing my hips and lower abdomen. He continued to look at me as he leaned in closer to me, until his lips were centimeters away from my skin. He paused and I could feel his breath brush across my flesh sending a shiver up my spine. Then his tongue flicked a warm, wet trail along my hip. My eyes slid shut and my breath came out in a sigh. When he nipped the flesh of my hip between his teeth I moaned and something suddenly shifted in Dean, as if his resolve snapped. His hands fumbled at my belt buckle. I came back to reality and grabbed both of them in one of my own, holding them still. His face turned up to mine and something like panic was there.

“Please.” He breathed. 

I stared at him in wonder. How could he want this? Now? When it would be nothing but torture for him in the end. Dean's head dropped down to rest between his shoulder blades and I felt the tension go out of his arms as his butt fell back to rest against his heels again. He looked dejected. I couldn't stand to see him like that. I dropped to my knees in front of him which made him look up at me in shock.

“Wha-” I cut him off. 

My mouth closed over his. His lips were fluid against my own as if he knew everything I wanted and where I was going next. I pulled away and he made a small noise of protest that made me chuckle. His hands were moving within my own and broke away, going straight for my belt again. I ripped them away and shoved him back, not with my hands but with my body. My hands stayed on his wrists, pushing them above his head as I fell into a push up position above him. He moaned and arched underneath me. He was attempting to squirm free. I ended that by tightening my hold on his wrists and dropping my hips down onto his so that our pelvis's were mashed together. Both of us moaned at the contact. I dipped my head claiming his lips again as I started a shallow, rythmic thrust against him. He moaned into my mouth and arched up into me. I ran my free hand down his side resting it on his hip. I pulled his bottom lip between my teeth and bit down lightly. The sound Dean made was somewhere between a moan and a growl and had me undoing his jeans without remembering going for them. He was rolling his body in a sinuous wave against my own, kissing me like I was the last breath of fresh air in the world. When I got the jeans undone I realized he had gone commando. I growled against his lips making him break the kiss.

“Please! Sam, please!” 

The plea broke me and my hand delved under the cloth of his jeans to wrap around the girth of his cock. Dean let out a small shout, head kicking back as he arched up off the ground. I stroked his length a couple of times before I stopped. I wasn't going to let it end like this. I pulled my hand back and put more pressure on his wrists to get his attention.

“Look at me.” When he didn't I grabbed his jaw between my fingers and moved his head so that I could see his eyes. “Look. At. Me.” It came out as almost a growl. Dean's eyes met mine with a small effort and were unfocused. I squeezed his wrists tighter getting a small grimace of pain and a groan in return. “I am going to let your wrists go. You will keep them above your head.” He stared at me and swallowed a few times before speaking.

“I can't touch you?”

“Not right now. You'll know when you can.” His face looked confused and I smiled before claiming his lips again. He immediately responded, rolling his body against mine. I pulled back and gave his wrists a final squeeze, earning a small hiss and a small arch of the back.

“Do not move them.” 

With that I let go of his wrists and ran my hands down his sides to the hem of his jeans. I curled my fingers under the fabric and yanked them down his thighs in three hard jerks, stopping at his knees. He was panting hard and staring at me with complete trust. I let my eyes rove over him, from his luminescent green eyes to his full lips, the Adams apple in his throat bobbing with every swallow, his chest heaving with desire, to the thick, long, pink erection standing up straight from his hips, precum trailing down the hard length as if weeping with anticipation. His cock twitched when Dean saw me staring at it. I licked my lips before meeting his eyes while lowering my upper body over him. I shoved his button-down up exposing his hips, stomach and most of his chest. He was watching me and kept making these lovely, enticing little anticipatory noises in the back of his throat that had my cock jumping behind the fly of my pants. I leaned down and trailed kisses from hip to hip then nibbled the flesh of his thighs. He was squirming and moaning again and again, cock jumping, begging for attention. Dean's head was back, body arched slightly. I smiled as I placed the flat of my tongue against the soft flesh of his erection dragging it along the underside of his cock. His breath came in a giant inhale and he arched up then dropped back down staring at me. I smiled, flicking my tongue over the head of his cock. His eyes slid shut. 

I suddenly swallowed his whole erection down, letting it slide down my throat until my lips touched the skin at the base. He screamed for me and his hands no longer stayed put, they flew to my hair as I began sliding my mouth up and down his length. I loved the salty-sweetness of his precum at the back of my throat. I rolled my tongue over the head of is cock at the end of every upstroke and sucked him down slowly.

“SAM!” He called my name and his breathing was ragged and irregular. 

His fingers were tightening in my hair, his thighs trembling underneath me, back arched seemingly painfully, his head was kicked back so that I could only see his throat straining. Guttural moans, heavy breathing and the wet sounds of sex punctuated the silent night air of the desolate countryside. I felt his cock spasm in my mouth and knew he was about to come. I swallowed him down all the way and Dean's scream ripped through the night singing along his body so I could feel the vibrations along his cock in my mouth like a tuning fork. As he exploded his fingers tightened in my hair almost painfully making me moan. His body convulsed with every wave. I convulsed my throat and mouth around him dragging out his orgasm. He called my name before his body was rocked with one final powerful wave of pleasure. His whole body went limp. As I looked up at him, lips still around his cock, I saw his body gleaming with a slick sheen of sweat. I laughed deeply making him moan, thinking how this was only the beginning. When I slowly pulled away from him I dragged my lips along his still hard length making his muscles tense and twitch. He moaned my name and twined his fingers into my hair again. I lightly sucked on the head of his cock drawing a few more sounds from him before I felt something in the air that pulled me back. I pulled free of Dean's grasp and sat back on my heels, looking around. I went stock still when I saw what it was. 

Ruby was standing a few yards away in the shadows cast by the cabin. Despite the darkness I could see the murderous rage and disgust on her face. She stared right into my eyes as she moved forward toward me and Dean, who had no idea what was happening being all wrapped up in post sex glory.

I had time to think Oh, Fuck! Then she was on us.

A/N- Remember I am my own editor so please forgive any errors you may have encountered. So, how did you like it ya'll?


	10. Chapter 10

Ruby's POV

I took form in front of the little cabin in the middle of bum-fuck-nowhere that Sam was squatting in. I had met him for the last five days straight. I was walking up to the door when I heard it. I stopped trying to identify what I was hearing. The wind whispered through my hair, carrying the sounds of...moans? They were soft but constant. I felt my eyebrows raise and a nasty feeling spiked through me. Who was that? I turned to the left and began walking, slowly, quietly around the cabin. As I got close to the corner the sounds intensified. Oh yeah, someone was definitely enjoying their self. I was about to round the corner when a scream rent the air, loud and so laden with pleasure a shiver went down my spine. I rounded the corner fast and fell stone still. I couldn't really make sense of what I was seeing unsure whether that was because I was still too far away or whether the night was tricking my eyes. I slowly crept forward. Was that? No surely not. It couldn't-

“SAM!” 

That had been a man's voice calling my Sam's name...no. Correction, that was Dean, crying out in pleasure. I didn't remember consciously deciding to do it but I was moving closer. I strode along, hidden in the shadow of the cabin until I was roughly five or six yards from the scene before me. Sam was kneeling between Dean's legs mouth wrapped around the very large, solid erection that kept disappearing down his throat. Dean was arched up off the ground in an impressive half circle that looked almost painful, like he would snap in half at any moment. His shirt was shoved up to his shoulders, exposing his stomach and chest. His head was thrown back, neck straining, low guttural, throaty sounds coming from between his swollen lips. His body was coated in a slick sheen of sweat so that his skin gleamed in the moonlight. One of his hands was buried in Sam's hair and the other scrambling at the grass beneath him, tearing it up in handfuls. The wet, sounds of sex filtered around me mingling with Dean's moans, groans and ragged breathing. I ran my eyes down the sexed up length of Dean's body to where Sam was sucking his cock down his throat over and over. A zillion feelings tore through me that I found entirely too conflicting. 

I felt confused and disgusted at how this had come about. How had I missed this blossoming romance? How could they be okay with having sex together since they were brothers. A pang of revulsion sang through me which almost made me laugh. Once upon a time, not too long ago in fact, incest had been common place. Hell, I had seen it so much in my day I should probably be used to it by now. As much as I found this disturbing two more feelings distracted me. My body felt heavy and languid, a warmth pooling between my thighs, my breathing becoming deep and heavy. I felt my eyes widen in shock. I was aroused! I had to admit...they were stunning together. Dean's moaning intensified bringing my attention back to the spectacle at hand. Oh god! His legs were shaking and his whole body seemed to be vibrating. I knew he was about to come and that was when a kaleidoscope of nasty feelings speared through me. Jealousy, hatred, disgust, rage, the urge to feel someone elses, preferably Dean's, blood coursing over my hands and body. 

Dean's scream pierced my heart. His body convulsing, head kicking back, hand tightening in Sam's hair making him moan. Every muscle stood out in high definition as Dean found his release...and my Sam sucked it all down, dragging out Dean's pleasure by doing something I couldn't quite define. Envy tore through me. He was mine! Sam was mine! This was perverted and disgusting! How dare Dean pollute my wonderful Sam! I fought for control to keep from running over and ripping out Dean's exposed throat. 

Sam lifted his head, dragging his lips up Dean's cock making the man moan and writhe in pleasure. Then Sam began sucking and laving at the head of Dean's prick like it was a fucking lollipop or some shit. I could hardly see straight I was so livid. Suddenly Sam pulled away from Dean, untwisting Dean's fingers from his hair, sitting back so that his butt rested on his heels. He gazed out into the night, eyes roving. He knew I was here and I had seconds before he pinpointed my exact location but I had already made up my mind. I didn't care if he knew I was coming. His eyes found me a second later and I saw recognition flit across his face a second before I began moving forward. I tried to calm myself but couldn't, especially when Dean groaned in his post sex glory, completely ignorant of what I was going to do to him. My eyes locked on Dean and I was suddenly flying through the air.

Sam slammed into me sending us tumbling across the ground in a struggle for dominance. I tried to get away, knowing there was no way I could hold him down. I brought my knee up with everything I had into his ribs, hoping to at least stun him. He grunted and I rolled away scrambling across the ground on hands and knees a few feet and had just gotten to my feet and was moving towards Dean at a run when Sam tackled me back to the ground at the legs. I fell forward, barely having enough time to throw my arms out to brace the impact. I twisted against Sam's grip on my legs enough that I had loosened hit hold and was on my side, giving me leverage. I yanked one leg free and kicked at him, hitting his shoulder first then his face, knocking his head back. He let go very briefly growling foul curses under his breath as he moved so fast that he was suddenly pinning me to the ground with his hips between my legs, trapping my lower half, his chest on top of mine, hands sliding along my arms to get a hold of my flailing hands. I realized as he slammed my wrists to the ground above my head that someone was screaming over and over in an enraged way. Then I realized it was me. I bucked and fought against his hold like a trapped tiger, screaming. How dare he! I heard him trying to talk to me, his voice coming to me in small spurts of clarity.

“...don't want to hurt you...Ruby...calm yourself...Stop!...acting savage...calm the fuck down!...” I laughed as I heard the last two snippets. 

He hadn't seen savage yet. I turned to see his face inches from mine. His eyes seemed to be imploring me to do something. Fuck you buddy! I wasn't inclined to give him shit save a good ass whooping...once I got out from under him. His lips were moving saying something but all I saw was how swollen and red his lips were, and that was it. Rage coiled within me and I smashed my head into his face with every bit of power and strength I could given my position. It must have been a decent amount because he cried out in pain and a spurt of blood showered down onto me, splashing against my throat. His grip loosened against my wrists and I pulled my right arm free swinging it with all I had, turning my body with the momentum as my fist smashed into the side of his face. He rolled onto his side to absorb some of the impact. As I surged to my feet the world wobbled a little. Maybe that headbutt had done a little more damage than I had intended. I saw Sam dragging himself onto his hands and knees. I had the upper hand right now and intended on keeping it. I took a few fast steps and put all I could into punting him in the ribs. The impact sent me recoiling back a step and sent Sam flipping onto his side and sliding back a foot or so.

I had time to wonder why Dean hadn't joined the fight before I was spun and knocked on my ass from a fist smashing into my face from the left. I felt more than saw the kick flying at my head and ducked, rolling across the ground, surging back to my feet. Dean was right there. I gave him points for recovery time and speed but deflected his next punch, grabbing his wrist and turning into his body, delivering an elbow to his diaphragm. I spun away from him and saw him stagger back, hands going to where I had hit him. He was gasping for air and I smiled as he came forward again. I let him stagger forward another step before spinning in a circle, gaining momentum, keeping my leg curled until I saw his face. I extended my leg and slammed my boot into the left side of his head completing the full 360 roundhouse that sent Dean flying in an arc crashing head and shoulder first into the ground. I fell right back into my neutral fighting stance and was turning my head to survey where everyone was at and narrowly dodged Sam's fist. I dipped to the right, grabbed his wrist and turned my body into his using his own momentum to send him over my shoulder in a textbook perfect shoulder throw. He crashed to the ground and I used the arm still in my grip to wrench him onto his stomach slamming my foot down on his back in between the shoulder blades. Out of my peripherals I saw Dean stagger forward. Without thinking I swung the foot I had been using to pin Sam's chest into Dean's chest sending him flying back to the ground. I looked back down at Sam who was screaming in anger. I honestly didn't want to truly hurt Sam...just Dean. But with these boys it was always a two for one deal. I sneered at that thought as it reminded me of what I had just seen, refreshing my anger. I felt Sam struggling and wrenched his arm some more hearing a meaty pop. I felt the arm move awkwardly and flinched at the scream that came out of Sam. I immediately let go and the anger that had spurned me on a moment before washed away in fear for what I had just done. I rolled Sam onto his side, dropping to my knees beside him. I felt my face crumple with worry. I didn't think I had hurt him too bad but I had forgotten myself and it was just as likely that I had. Sam's eyes met mine in a mercurial blend of anger, pain and something else that I couldn't identify. A second later I recognized what that look was and went to get away from him but the arm he was laying on lashed out, latching onto my wrist and pulling me to a halt. I screamed as liquid fire poured through my veins. My vision blurred and I felt as if I was being splintered apart at a molecular level then recomposed. The feeling morphed into something much worse. It felt as if my skin was being slowly peeled away, then the muscles, organs, veins. Memories triggered of over a thousand years of torture, complimenting the glass scraping against my bones and the world faded as I was absorbed in my own pain.

 

··········  
Dean's POV

 

I staggered to my feet, every muscle protesting right before I heard Ruby's terrible scream rip through the night air. I cringed and goosebumps broke out all over my body. My eyes snapped into focus on the scene before me. Ruby was on her knees next to Sam who was laying on his side. The arm he was laying on was extended out, hand wrapped bruisingly around her small wrist. Her body bowed so ferociously I was sure her head was going to slam into the ground. I watched her muscles spasm and twitch in response to something I couldn't see but I could damn straight feel something. The hairs all along my body crawled with the power creeping through the air. She screamed a blood curdling scream and her body seized as she crashed to the ground. Memories flooded through my mind, all the horrible things I had been through and done in hell tormenting me as I heard Ruby scream in ways I had only experienced during my time down under. I'm not sure what made me move forward but listening and seeing her going through this was too painful. I couldn't watch this happen to her. Tears slipped down my face as her body slammed into the ground so hard I could hear her bones making contact. Her screams felt like they were peeling my skin, muscle and bones away, exposing my heart for a lashing. As I moved around them I saw Sam's face and stopped cold. 

His eyes were solid black, even where the white should have been. A thin green luminescent ring shone right around where I figured his pupil would be, casting a faint glow. His face was completely blank. I tried to move forward but the power Sam was using was so thick the closer I got. I fought against the almost solid wall of power, struggling for air in the thickness. I dropped to my knees unable to go further, gasping for air.

“Sam...” My voice was weak. I gathered as much strength and command as I could and forced it into my voice, “SAM!!!” Just his eyes snapped in my direction, making me flinch. 

We were staring at each other over Ruby's writhing body. She was no longer screaming but she was making an indescribable whining noise reflecting absolute terror, pain and desperation. My eyes latched onto her and tears began pouring down my face. Crying over an enemy...how poetic. I looked back up at Sam.

“Stop.” My voice was soft and filled with pain and fear. Pain for what Ruby was going through and fear at what Sam was doing...and the very real possibility that he wasn't going to stop. His face didn't show that he had registered my plea. “Stop. Please, Sam. Just stop.” A small sob crept from me as Ruby let out a scream that rattled my soul. I couldn't help it. I moved forward and pulled her body into my lap, stretching the distance between her and him as her arm was fully extended and his grip on her wrist was unrelenting. I felt the power run through me like a glass spike and gasped in pain, but it was just a second of pain for me. Whatever he was doing to Ruby her spine bowed so hard I heard something crack. Blood ran in a thick line from the corner of her mouth, trailing down the side of her neck. The next time her mouth opened to scream her teeth were covered in blood and her peal of terror gurgled through and around the blood that sounded like was clogging her throat. She rolled in my arms and a thick cough splattered the ground with blood and thicker things I couldn't identify. Her breath entered her lungs in a screaming inhale and something in me snapped.

“STOP IT! STOP IT, DAMNIT!!!” I met Sam's blank stare, tears blurring my vision. 

Suddenly he let go and spun away, springing to his feet and walking toward the tree line. Ruby went limp and completely silent in my lap and I pulled her body close to my own, cradling her head against my chest. I pushed the hair out of her face running my eyes over her, then frantically moved my shaking hand to her neck, checking for a pulse. I don't know why but I desperately wanted her to be alive. It didn't matter that she had coveted my Sam or that 99% of the time I trusted her about as far as I could throw the Great Khali. None of her past transgressions mattered. I just needed her to be alive, needed to see her eyes open, hear her breathing, know her heart was still beating. I couldn't find a heart beat. I looked around desperately until I saw Sam.

“I can't find a heart beat.” When he didn't move I spoke louder, more desperately, “Sam, I can't find a pulse.” His back stayed to me but he lifted his head and turned it enough so that I could see the side of his face. 

“I don't know why you care so much, but she is still alive.” His voice was devoid of emotion and my heart seized before I turned back to Ruby. 

Just as I looked back at her she woke up. Her eyes flew wide and the tears I had been holding back broke free. Her breath came in a sharp gasp and she held it for a second before screaming. Every inhale was exhaled in a scream and her limbs flailed. I fought against her flailing arms to curl her in against my chest, her suffering muted only slightly by the flesh there. Her arms latched around my waist and she wrapped her body around mine, sliding down so that her head was in my lap. Her screams died down into sobs and I sat there holding and comforting her for what could have been any amount of time before she finally fell silent. I looked up to see Castiel standing not ten feet away, watching me. I glanced around quickly, searching for Sam but not finding him. When I looked back at Cass he cocked his head to the side, brows furrowed in the smallest of frowns.

“Did I not tell you. Did I not warn you both that using the powers Sam possesses can only lead to destruction.” He gestured to Ruby. “The destruction of others...and himself.” I stared back at the broken woman in my lap and my voice sounded no different.

“Can you just help me get her into the cabin?”

“I can help you get her to the door.” I looked up at this and must have looked as confused as I felt because he pointed at the cabin. “Sam has warded it against angels.” Oh. I gave a tired sigh. Dammit.

“Alright. Help me get her to the door then I have it from there.” Not like I had any choice. Cass dipped his head then came forward to help me. The second he touched Ruby she began sobbing and coiled tighter against me. 

“Stop!” I exclaimed immediately. Cass looked taken aback. I calmed down and met his stare while running my fingers through Ruby's hair. “Whatever Sam did to her it dredged up some past trauma...” I looked down at her, “a lot of trauma.” I looked back up at Cass with an apology written across my face. “You can't touch her.” He looked so confused at that.

“Then why can you?” He points at how she is coiled around me. I feel my face crumble in a mixture of protectiveness and confusion.

“Because I saved her.” The confusion I felt riddled that statement but Cass nodded his head and rose to his full height again. I leaned over and began talking to Ruby trying to get her to uncoil herself from me long enough to get her inside. The process took so long that the sun was a very dim glow on the horizon before I was walking through the threshold, Ruby's legs wrapped around my waist, her arms around my neck and shoulders so tight I had to gasp for breath, face buried in my neck. I walked to the nearest angel sigil and scraped at it with my nail until a small line fractured it's magic. 

Ten minutes later I found myself curled up in bed with a demon...a situation I had never fathomed would ever come to pass. Cass stood at the foot of the bed with an odd expression on his face.

“Another seal was broken tonight. Only two remain.” I don't know why but the news didn't phase me.

“Is that what's bothering you?” He shook his head then stared out the window to the left of the bed.

“No.” Silence for a minute then he continued. “It bothers me that Sam was right and we all refused to believe him because he was in cohorts with...” He stopped then looked back at Ruby, curled against me. He gestured gently toward her. “Her.” Again that confused look plastered his face. “She was right the whole time and Sam knew it. He tried to convince us but we ignored him.”

“I thought you said that Sam couldn't be allowed to use his powers to kill Lilith?”

“I still believe that. Yet...I find that an unsettling truth has revealed itself to me this night.” His eyes snapped onto mine. “Do you know why I did not intervene tonight?” That shocked me.

“I thought you had popped in at the last second so you had no reason to interfere. He shook his head.

“I saw the whole thing. His power lit up the radar like a beacon and I came to figure out what the situation was that required it.” He paused and I stared at him waiting for more. “I did not stop him tonight because I, much like you, could not have stopped him. Not without serious injury. Your powers of persuasion are all that stopped him from killing her tonight.” Ruby moved against me, making a small noise in the back of her throat. I ran my hand along her side and she eased back into a peaceful sleep. 

“We have damned Sam to this fate, you see.” I looked back at him, fear running like ice water through my veins.

“What are you talking about, Cass?”

“We ignored the only one who had the right idea about how to short circuit this whole apocalypse. We shoved him away and threatened him, not realizing until too late what was happening.” I shook my head hard enough that Ruby readjusted against me so I stopped.

“What are you talking about Cass?” He shook his head and a tear slipped down his face. I stopped breathing as he met my eyes again.

“If Sam survives killing Lilith we will still have another monster to contend with...all because we refused to listen to him. Had we just listened to reason we might have stopped this. Now it is too late.

“What monster? What is too late?”

“Sam.” My heart stopped as Cass sat on the edge of the bed as if his legs weren't strong enough to hold him and he looked at me. “It is too late to save Sam from the fate we have, in our own ignorance, consigned him to.”

“No.” My voice broke on the single word and tears slipped down my face. I couldn't...no. I wouldn't believe this. Cass nodded his head, once up and down.

“Either way this story goes...Sam dies.” My heart shattered, my pain pouring out of me in sobs as I curled up to the demon clutching me and felt the bed dip down as my angel curled in behind me.

I wouldn't except this. I had to stop it...all of it.

A/N- You know the drill by now with me, myself and I being writer and editor. How did you guys like this one?


	11. Chapter 11

Castiel's POV

 

It was a curious place to be, curled up against the back of one of my only human friends while he cuddled a demon, mourning the fate of a man, whom I truly respected, of which my ignorant bigotry relegated him to. Dean's body twitched in his restless sleep, small noises escaping his lips. Ruby occasionally shifted, drawing Dean's body closer as if to cloak herself from the evils within her mind with his warmth. Both man and demon loosed a small cry almost simultaneously and my heart cramped up with pity and regret. It should not surprise me that either of them would be subjected to night terrors. I reached out with my grace, stroking them both with a calming, peaceful warmth. A small gasp left my lips as I felt them both draw on my grace, enveloping themselves in it like they were trying to smother their pain. I fed into it and immediately both of them sighed. Dean's muscles, that had retained tension as if in a waking state, completely unraveled so he lay limp against me. Despite how odd this moment was I couldn't help but to admire how beautiful and peaceful Dean and Ruby looked in this much needed moment of repose. Dean's light blondish-brown hair next to Ruby's deep black curls, their faces slack with a long lost innocence-

“A man, angel and demon lay in a bed together-” I jumped as Sam chuckled, cutting off his own speech. I hadn't known he was there. Dean's muscles clenched slightly and I looked down to see his face scrunched up into cute little frown lines. He shocked me when he wrapped his hand around my wrist and pulled my arm down between the fleshy warmth of his chest and Ruby's back. I looked up to see Sam standing at the foot of the bed, he was staring at us all with a strange look on his face then shook his head a small smile playing across his lips.

“Sounds like the start to a bad joke.” He scoffs then continues staring. I found my voice.

“How long have you been watching us?” He looked at me and I realized only once I held the full weight of his gaze that I didn't wish to be the center of his attention. 

“Long enough to piece together the pieces of a puzzle that has been boggling my mind for a while now.” I frowned at the very cryptic statement. Sam had gotten really good at being cryptic over the last year. It was partially my fault he had become so mysterious. I felt that familiar pang of regret. If he hadn't had to creep around behind Mine and Dean's backs because we wouldn't stand with him things, Sam and his fate, would be very different. I watched Sam smile.

“It's okay, Cass. This whole death thing never really seems to stick with Dean and I. So when I meet my fate I'm sure things will bounce back to the way they are supposed to be. Don't be too harsh on yourself.” I flinched at having him respond to thoughts I hadn't spoken then swallowed a few times before asking my question.

“What did you mean when you said you had been piecing together a puzzle?” Again with the half smile.

“I sometimes forget that you aren't really in tune with a lot of colloquialisms.” He paused and stared at the three of us but I got a feeling he was looking more at where Dean and I were pressed together. An uneasy tingle washed through me. I did not want Sam angry at me and it was not lost on me what had gone on earlier between Sam, Dean and Ruby. I may not know the details but I was far from naive. I shook my head at the sensation of what I'd swear was a silk cloth gliding along the outside of my brain then looked at Sam with wide eyes as I realized what was happening. I was about to tell him no when I suddenly wasn't lying against Dean.

His erection slid in and out of my mouth, his body stretched in a tense arc against the ground beneath us. Moans fell from his lips, his breathing was tantalizing in its ragged irregularity. I rolled my eyes up and was shocked at how glorious Dean looked, muscles standing out in high definition, gorgeous sun bronzed skin gleaming under the moonlight that licked and gleamed against the sheen of sweat coating his body. His head was thrown back exposing his neck in a tense line. I felt his hand tighten in my hair sending a thread of pleasure zipping through me and I knew, I just knew he was about to come. I sucked him down deep into my throat and Dean's scream of pleasure tore through the night, spearing me with satisfaction at having given my lover pleasure. I felt the warm jets of liquid gushing down my throat, wanting more and reveled at the glory of the moment.

I snapped out of what I could only presume to be Sam's memory, gasping for air as if I hadn't breathed the whole time. It had only been maybe three minutes of memory but it had been more than enough. My body was hot and quivery in places I'd never even felt twitch. My breathing was ragged, heart racing and...my eyes peeled apart as if they didn't exist. I felt an erection throbbing between my hips, pulsing against the warm softness of Dean's backside. Oh god! Had the feelings of Dean and Sam in that moment transferred to me. That had to be the only explanation for what was happening to me. Sam laughed aloud then quickly smothered his glee in the crook of his arm. When he finished his eyes were glowing with the recently faded fit of laughter.

“You act as if you've never had an erection before.” I simply stared at him with a look of confusion. The smile was chased away by complete disbelief and wonder. 

“Seriously?!” The question was voiced a little loudly making Dean adjust against me and Ruby against him. 

I bit my lip as a wave of pleasure sang through me. Holy lord! What was that? Was that what Dean had felt when Sam was- I cut that thought off as my erection began kicking erratically again. I swallowed a few times and tried to keep my body as still as possible. I didn't want to disturb Dean's sleep but I was torn between not wanting a repeat of what had just happened and...REALLY wanting it.

“How-” I cleared my throat, “How do you make it go away?” Sam's mouth flopped open in utter shock and what looked like horror.

“Oh hell no! I am NOT having this discussion with an angel!” He began pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed then stopped to look at me. “Daddy didn't give you the birds and the bees talk?” I stared at him in utter bafflement and he rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and exhaled a hearty breath then began pacing again. “Of course not. Why would he have reason to?” He mumbled to himself.

“Does it go away on it's own?” Sam spun on his heel to look at me and seemed to sputter over his words. Then he put his hands on his hips and stared at me with what I could only call a contemplative look.

“Well...yeah. I guess. Sometimes it's hard though.” He instantly looked awkward and a blush flushed his face. “Uh...I mean...sometimes it takes a while for it to deflate-” his eyes widened and he rolled his hand in a circle at the wrist while looking up at the ceiling as if trying to think of the right words to say then rapidly corrected his last word. “I mean, go away! Sometimes it takes a while to go away! On it's own.” He began pacing then stopped and looked at where Dean and I were joined then began pacing again. “When nothing is...egging it on.” He exhaled heavily again then shook his head, still pacing. “Oh man...awkward.” I tried to think of anything but where I was laying right now, wishing for the erection to go away or that I were not so close to Dean. The smell of his skin zipped through me with every inhale and I found it to be...exciting in a way it never was before. The soft yet firm flesh of his-

“Ew! Okay! Dude! Seriously?! Stop, okay.” He shook his whole body as if trying to be free of something. I was puzzled but finally found something that might help me out of this situation.

“Why did you show me that, Sam? And were the feelings of that moment transferred to me? Is that why I am...” I left the question open ended and Sam Stopped in his tracks, staring at the floor.

“No, Cass. What I saw and did in that moment was transferred to you. Only olfactory, visual, tactile, auditory and gustatory sensations came to you. Anything emotional or...” He gestured vaguely towards me, “Physical that you felt was in your interpretation of what was going on.” I couldn't wrap my head around what he was saying and then it clicked.

“Are you implying that I enjoyed that?” He looked at me as if I were being daft.

“I think, at this point, it's more than an implication, Cass.” I felt my eyes widen and my heart rate speed up. I sputtered trying to find the right words but Sam held both hands up in an obvious plea for calm and attention. “You have never had the pleasure of experiencing any carnal of the aspects of life, from what I am gathering. So, I don't think it should come as a surprise that the first experience you have, especially one so...intimate and intense, would arouse you. It is a natural reaction, Cass.” His words soothed me but at the same time revealed something dark and wicked within myself that was a mystery yet to even me. Things were changing too fast. Sam nodded his head and chuckled.

“Yup. Sure are.” I shivered again. It was so eerie having someone in your head. “Sorry. I try to keep it in check due to the severe invasion of privacy, but it is so tiring.” My stomach clenched at that last. Was Sam struggling to keep his powers in check? Did he need to use them regularly to maintain them? Sam stopped pacing and simply stared at the three of us curled in the bed together. I cleared my throat.

“You never told me why you showed me that, Sam.” He was silent for a few minutes and I thought he wasn't going to answer so when he spoke my heart picked up speed at being startled.

“I have known for a while now that I am probably going to die from killing Lilith...one way or another.” My eyebrows knit together at the enigma threading those words. He knew more that he wasn't telling. “I have worried myself sick thinking about what will happen to Dean once I am gone-”

“Sam, it isn't definite that you are going to die just yet.” He cocked his head to the side with a small smile at the corner of his lips. It wasn't a comical smile. No, this smile knew things, things I desperately wanted to know and at the same time didn't. 

“Isn't it? I don't need to be clairvoyant to see how obvious my demise is.” Again I was confused.

“So you haven't seen this for sure.” He shook his head.

“No. Sometimes the future is so clear to me. But it seems the closer the people are to my heart the less I can see. I know only vague bits and pieces of what is to come. Nothing direct or blatant and I know absolutely nothing of my own future, only the ones surrounding mine.” He laughs before continuing, “It is some cosmic power play to keep fate as the key dice chucker.” I nodded my head, knowing all too well what he was referring to. 

“You still never answered the question.” He stared off again but answered.

“Let's suffice it to say that Dean will be just fine when I'm gone...for however long that may be.” With that his eyes snapped to mine. It is true that I fear what Sam has become, what he is still becoming, but I had always respected him. In my experience, to be a Winchester was to be an honorable person. So, when his eyes, filled with a thousand emotions I couldn't name, locked onto mine I realized he was indeed the embodiment of the patented Winchester foolish bravery, loyalty, love, devotion and courage that made these boys so endearing. Regardless of what he was capable of, regardless of all we had put him through, he still hurt and worried over Dean and confided in me. In that moment, I was honored to call him my friend, a word which not too long ago I had never fathomed having the occasion to use.   
As Dean shifted against me again with a soft sigh I smiled realizing, my erection was gone. Sam smiled and dipped his head then ducked out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

 

··········   
Ruby's POV

 

I fought against the soft and fuzzy blanket of warmth folded around me clogging my brain and senses, attempting to lull me back into the oblivion I had woken from. It wasn't until I was aware enough to realize their was an arm around my waist holding me close to a warm, solid body that I felt myself pull further away from that liquid warmth smothering everything I had relied on to survive for so long. I threw myself forward freeing myself from the embrace and flinging myself into a face first plummet onto rough hardwood flooring. I stumbled to my feet, the world still edged in fuzz. I shook my head in an attempt to clear it and fell back on my ass. I grumbled curses as I got to my feet and leapt back at the appearance of the angel in front of me. The fuzzy, thick, bright glow surrounding him was nearly blinding. I turned away and fell into an offensive stance as I saw another angel sleeping on the bed I had just been in. 

His glow was about half as bright as the other one. Maybe he was dying? That would make it easier to take him out. I'd kill him first so he wouldn't distract me later from the immediate threat to my left. I launched myself at the sleeping angel and was promptly body checked, being redirected into the wall. The angel was standing ten feet or so back from me as I pulled myself to my feet. His hands were held up in a gesture that I didn't take time to register. I threw myself at him and was thrown across the room in an arc to come crashing to a stop in a huddle against the floor. I sprang clumsily to my feet and saw the angel turn his head toward the door. His mouth opened and I used that second to attack. 

I rushed him and launched myself in the air, extending my leg for impact and surprisingly connecting. The flying side kick I had landed sent the Angel crashing back into the foot-board of the bed. I was advancing on him when a boom sounded. I didn't so much hear the door bang open as much as feel the air pressure change and feel the vibrations of the impact it made against the wall which as I turned I saw had been very hard. The door was half broken off the hinges and inside the doorway held a human. I saw the human turn toward the angel and the two exchanged a few words that I couldn't hear. Why couldn't I hear? What was wrong with my hearing? Panic iced it's way through me so when the Angel stood I went into attack mode. I rushed at him in a flurry of punches, most of which I landed surprisingly, until I was thrown, literally thrown into the wall so hard I felt it cave underneath me before I fell to the floor...again. I struggled to my hands and knees and saw the world with a trail effect. I knew if I was hit one more time I was going to pass out. I watched as best I could while the human and angel seemed to be debating something. Then the haze around the world didn't fade...it disappeared as if it had never existed and my hearing flooded back to me. My gasp was loud in the silence of the room. The human slowly approached me with both hands up in the universal sign of being unarmed. That was funny because from my experience he didn't need a weapon, he was dangerous enough without one.

“I do not think this is a good idea, Sam.” Sam? That was a familiar name. Then everything came crashing back to me and I fell to my side on the floor at the barrage of memories. When it was over I saw Sam crouched a few feet back. I scrambled back into the wall and waited for anything and nothing in specific, heart racing. Sam had almost killed me using the powers I had helped him learn to wield. I scoffed at the irony then clutched my side as a sharp pain went through it. Damn that hurt! I looked around the room taking in all the destruction and damage. My eyes fell on Dean, still asleep in the bed I had woken up in. Wait! I had woken up in that bed next to... my eyes shot to Castiel standing by the foot of the bed.

“Two questions and if the answer to one of them is what I think it is will someone please finish the job of killing me.” The sarcasm was thick in my voice but Castiel nodded. “One, what is wrong with Dean that he slept through all that? Two, I didn't happen to be cuddled up to him, did I?” Castiel blinked then glanced at Sam and my anger flared up. “No! I asked you, not him. He has nothing to do with this.” Castiel blinked some more then began speaking in a very calm, rational voice.

“Dean sustained a serious...shock to the system.” I laughed at that and received a haughty look from the angel. “I wouldn't laugh were I you. He is the only reason you live to hear this right now.” I looked over in shock at the sleeping hunter then over at Sam who dipped his head to look at the floor. I returned my gaze to Castiel.

“So Dean saved me?” He nodded. “How?” 

“He got through Sam's...temporary madness and got him to let you go.” To say I was shocked would be a gross understatement. Dean had made no bones in the past about displaying his fervent dislike for me. 

“Why?” Castiel raised his eyebrows. “Why did he save me? He hates me.” 

“I think you should ask Dean when he awakes.” I looked at Dean and nodded. I would most definitely be having a little chat with him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that puzzled look I was used to seeing on Sam's face nowadays. “What do you remember?” Castiel asked. I scrounged around in my brain.

“I remember everything up to the point where Sam whammied me. After that it's blank.” The angel nodded. 

“Do you want to know what happened?” I thought about that then nodded. He took me at my word and began. “After Dean got Sam to let you go you latched yourself to him, refusing to let go even long enough to get you in here. Finally, on the brink of dawn you were both tucked in here where he and I talked. You were very weak. After receiving the shock he did I climbed in the bed with you two for comfort and lent you my strength to heal.”

“You what?” Incredulity was thick in my question.

“I wrapped you in my grace.” He said matter of factly. “I provided you with a sense of warmth, peace and protection and you both more than accepted it. I was only offering it to soother you so you could both sleep without fear and you both almost simultaneously wrapped yourselves in it.” A confused look came over him. “Actually, come to think of it, you should not be awake right now. You were greatly weakened.”

“Then how is she awake?” Sam asked. I didn't even acknowledge his question yet waited for an answer. 

“If I had to guess I would assume that both Dean and you being wrapped in my grace provided a source of life and energy that nourished you back to full health. Though I did not, though I should have, suspect that angelic healing might have a drawback for you since you are...” He gestured vaguely at me, “you know...”

“Demonic?” I asked with one eyebrow raised and smothered my laugh. I found it funny the angel couldn't bring himself to say that one word.

“Yes.” He paused then said, “I do apologize for the panic you must have felt upon waking. It is a wonder you didn't react more violently than you did.” I was just getting slammed with surprises. An angel apologizing to pathetic, demonic me? 

“So I was cuddled up next to Dean then ?” I paused then said with disdain, “And you.”

“Yes, you were snuggled rather cozily up to Dean for little over a day. And in a sense we were all cozied up together because for a brief time you were both cloaked in my Grace.” I felt the urge to gag but it quickly transformed into a riotous laugh. Both Sam and the angel looked at me like I'd cracked. Finally I was able to tell them what was so funny.

“A demon, and angel and a human share a single bed together...” I have another giggling fit and see Sam smiling off to the side nodding his head.

“I said pretty much the same thing.” Castiel's face was screwed up in a contemplative look.

“I guess I can see how that would be comical as it is probably the most unlikely thing to happen in this universe...” Both Sam and I burst into laughter. Then when the moment was over I sobered quickly.

“Why did you try to kill me, Sam? I helped you learn how to use your powers.” He looked at the ground and took a minute to answer that had me ready to slap him until he spoke.

“When you saw Dean and I you flew into a jealous rage and wouldn't be stopped.”

“I know that already Sam. Tell me something I don't already know.” His head, if it was possible, dipped further. “I tried to just use my power to restrain you, to convince you to stop attacking us but I was so pissed.” He shook his head. “I lost control. I am so sorry, Ruby!” Here his eyes met mine and they looked so utterly sincere that I almost forgave him right then. My heart clenched in upon itself. “I didn't realize how badly I was hurting you. I didn't think I was using that much power...honestly, I don't really remember what I did during those moments when I came undone or how Dean got through to me. I have a feeling that I could have done so much worse though.” I had a second of taking it all in before I felt wild, like I was going to explode apart at the seams. He had lost control and almost killed me with a small flex of power. I felt intense, conflicting emotions at that. Pride, joy, fear, respect. He was dangerous with his untamed, mostly untapped power. He was all raw emotions. It would be easy for him to annihilate Lilith. So easy. Unexpectedly my heart twisted with regret and longing. The angel had been right. Using this much power was either going to kill him or turn him into a monster more formidable then anything the armies of hell nor heaven had ever seen. I didn't want my Sam to live out either of those ends. I flinched at the thought before remembering Sam couldn't read my thoughts thanks to Lilith. 

My emotions were everywhere, cursed things. When I looked up at Sam and saw the look on his face my heart shattered and reformed with him at the center. It was like a switch flipped inside me. I had to have my Sam. I crawled across the floor to him and straddled his lap where he knelt. He made a surprised noise in the back of his throat.

“Ruby-”

I leaned in and kissed him thoroughly pulling back, delighted to see that unfocused look in his eyes.

“Shhhh. It's okay, lover. You can always make it up to me.” With the last I wriggled my hips against his earning a groan in response. I heard a flutter of wings and when I looked up I saw the bed was empty and the angel was gone. How nice of him!

 

··········  
Sam's POV

 

Ruby began moving her body against mine in that familiar sinuous rhythm that had me cock rock hard and throbbing in a matter of moments. Her arms wrapped around my neck as she kissed me like she never had before. We had had sex countless times and I knew every nuance of her body like I had a map of it ingrained in my skull, but this was different than every other time. I couldn't put my finger on it. She pulled at my shirt, popping the buttons off and exposing my chest and stomach. My fingers began kneading her sides of their own accord and she pulled back from the kiss throwing her head to the sky, pulling in a deep lungful of air. My lips found her exposed throat and I began nibbling, kissing and licking my way down it's length to the collar of her shirt. She moaned lightly and plunged her hand into my hair, yanking my head back and ferociously kissing me. I fell into her kiss but some things were baffling me and I fought against it. I broke the contact, moving my head to the side.

“Ruby-” She grabbed my jaw between her hands and our tongues and lips tangled in their familiar dance. Again I fought free. This time I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back a few inches.

“Ruby, stop!” Apparently my tone grabbed her attention because she fell still but I could feel the animal lust right beneath the surface. “I can't....I almost killed you not more than a full day ago. How can you want me to...how can you trust me enough for this?” She smiled at that.

“I told you it was okay, didn't I?”

“Yeah but-” She cut me off by placing her finger against my lips so gently, barely making contact. 

“Their is a learning curve to everything, silly boy. Some steeper than most.” She grabbed my face and moved in so that she was inches away, staring into my eyes. “We started this together and no matter what, we will finish it that way. I would have it no other way.” 

I closed my eyes at the sincerity I heard in her voice. It was moments like this that really made me wonder if demons could love. Despite everything I had been raised on, I still believed even demons could be saved. I mean, if all demons are is a warped and twisted human soul, why couldn't they be untwisted? I didn't know what I felt for Ruby exactly but I know how I felt after I had hurt her so very badly yesterday. I knew how I felt when she had finally seen me earlier and recoiled. I wrapped my arms around her lower back, pulling her in against me. Despite everything, from the beginning through it all, Ruby had been the one standing strong with me against the tide. Even now, after I had so nearly killed her, she was holding me close and reassuring me. Me! She pulled back and leaned down, claiming my lips. The heat she had restrained for me poured over us again like floodgates that had released. Our clothes came off in a blur of hasty jerks and pulls, rendering most of the cloth torn as they fell to the floor. Without warning Ruby impaled herself on my cock and my breath left me on a small shout. I had to lean back and brace my arms on the floor as she rode me with a ferocity not too dissimilar to the way a railroad spike is pounded into the ground. I lifted one hand up to pull her down to me for a kiss but she slapped my hand away and instead her hand zipped forward and before I could blink she had my jaw clenched between her fingers, kissing me with the same zeal as she rode me. One second she was fine and the next she was screaming her orgasm into my mouth. I wrapped my arms around her and swallowed down her sounds of pleasure, moaning. I could feel how close I was. Suddenly Ruby broke the lip-lock by grabbing my hair in one of her hands in a firm grip and pulling us apart. She separated us enough to look into my eyes from inches away. A fire flickered behind her eyes that sent a shiver down my spine. My eyes slid shut and she tightened her hand in my hair making me gasp.

“Look at me!” She commanded. I did. “You. Are. Mine.” Each word was punctuated by a tighter squeeze of my hair and a sinuous roll of her body. I saw the possessive glint in her eyes and knew she was remembering seeing me and Dean yesterday right before she sank her teeth into my neck. Images of yesterday flashed before my eyes as her teeth broke the skin and I shouted my release feeling Ruby's scream against my neck zing through me as she came again. Her body pulsed and clenched around me, milking my orgasm. We fell to the floor in a sweaty, spent heap. 

We lay there panting, back to front. I thought back to right before I came and how Ruby had claimed me. About the images of Dean and I replaying in fast forward right as she sank her teeth home. I couldn't decide if I had come from Ruby or the memories. I had enough recovery time to come to the conclusion that...it was both of them. I groaned and rolled onto my back throwing my arm over my eyes. What the hell was I going to do? Ruby rolled into me and threw her arm over my stomach, resting her head on my chest, playing her fingers along my ribs. An easy silence fell over us for the longest time, both of us knowing the other was wrapped up in their own thoughts. Finally, Ruby's voice came to me when I was on the edge of sleep

“Sam ?”

“Mmmm?” 

“I don't want you to kill Lilith.”


	12. Chapter 12

Dean's POV

 

When I came to I was laying in a very dimly lit room staring into the darkness of the ceiling above me. My head was propped up on something firm yet warm and surprisingly...fleshy? I sprang up into a sitting position and whirled seeing Cass sitting calmly staring at me. My head had been in his lap. I found myself wondering what was going on with Cass' sudden touchy feely side coming out to play. Weren't angels supposed to be...well, emotionless? I felt a smile pull the corners of my mouth up. Not my angel. I shook my head at the thought and was about to ask him where we were when I heard Sam. He was arguing with a very irate female. I heard a crash and sprung to my feet and was bolting toward where I had heard the sound. The door, when I got to it, was splintered and barely standing, propped up against the door jamb. I charged it, plowing my shoulder into it and flinging it into the wall where it broke free of the twisted hinge it had been hanging onto and crashed to the floor. Ruby flicked her eyes in my direction then went back to glaring at Sam.

“Everything I have done up to this moment has been to destroy Lilith. What the fuck do you mean you don't want me to kill her?!” Sam sounded pissed. I took in the scene before me. Ruby and Sam were both naked, the clothes they had been wearing decorated the floor in bits of confetti. They were disheveled, hair tangled and the room reeked of sex. Jealousy flared through me and I felt my breathing speed up.

“You don't get it do you?” Ruby shook her head. “The angel was right. And this is coming from me!” Sam scoffed and Ruby stepped up to him rage vibrating off her. 

“Don't you dare take this lightly. You don't think it is easy for me to admit a feather head is right, do you?” her glare was scalding hot and I found myself shivering, glad it wasn't directed at me. That woman has a mean glare. “In case you forgot, I am a fucking demon!” They were locked in an intense staring contest and to my surprise Sam was the one to blink first. He turned away and pulled his hand through his hair, pacing a tight circle. I sucked in a sharp breath as his hair pulled back to reveal bloody teeth imprints, the skin looked torn around the edges and it was still bleeding, thin trails lining his collarbone, neck and upper stomach. His eyes caught mine and lingered for a minute, his angry pacing coming to a halt.

“I already know where you stand on this issue.” With that he turned his back to me. “I thought you were with me on this? You just said we would finish this the way it began. So what, now that we aren't fucking anymore that has changed? Those words were just sweet nothings spoken to get me to be your toy?” I went completely still as I saw the hurt flash through Ruby's eyes a second before her face closed down. A cold rage rolled over her and she stepped forward. Her arm shot out so fast it was a blur that I couldn't follow. I heard but didn't see the impact. Sam hit the floor in a heavy thud and whipped his head in her direction, not making any move to stand. I stared in awe at what I was seeing. Ruby had knocked him on his ass! And he was taking it? I roved my eyes over all of her, taking her in. She was glorious: her long, thick tangled curls crowning a beautiful face with startling burnt honey eyes, lithe, well muscled body, amazing curves, stunningly flawless ivory white skin that seemed to glow even in the dimness of the room. She was confident, filled with a passionate flame, despite being, quite literally, stripped bare before this confrontation. I could suddenly see why Sam was so attracted to her and my heart turned green with envy.

“I meant what I said, asshole! But this doesn't have to end the way you think! There is always another option.” Sam sprung to his feet.

“Yeah, what is it, Ruby? Enlighten me, Please! Because if there was another way why didn't you mention it before now?” He cocked his head to the side and I was willing to bet that he had that cocky, inquisitive look of his narrowed on her. Ruby went completely still and I watched a million things flit across her face so fast nothing was identifiable. She stared at him, breathing heavily and seemed to be grinding some serious gears trying to find the right words. He finally scoffed and turned away. I flinched at the deep gash along his cheekbone that was covering his face in blood. It flowed down his chin and neck to run in thick rivulets down his chest that gleamed in the moonlight as he paced back and forth in front of the window. Ruby was staring at the spot he had been standing with a far away, tortured look plastered across her face. I cocked my head to the side with a serious frown, watching her. 

“You know that this is going to kill you one way or another.” Her voice was thick with something I would have sworn was tears and I felt my eyes peel wide. She turned to face him and stepped forward a few steps, stopping just within the square of moonlight shining through the window. Her skin was almost luminescent, a translucent glory. I could trace the pale blue veins under her skin with my eyes. Sam scoffed again and turned his head to stare at her.

“Someone has to do it!” 

“And why does it have to be you?” It burst out of me before I could filter it. I sounded as outraged as I felt. Sam's gaze briefly snapped to mine before returning to Ruby.

“Because none of you can.” Ruby shook her head violently sending her curls twisting and curling around her. She fell still and just stared at him. Her breathing was too fast and a crystalline tear broke free, gliding down her cheek. My heart stopped. Ruby was crying? Over Sam? 

“Breathe.” I nearly jumped out of my skin at Cass' soft voice in my ear. I took a deep inhale, realizing I hadn't been breathing. Sam's face softened and he stepped forward, gently holding Ruby's face between his palms. He ran his thumbs gingerly under both her eyes, wiping away her tears. The gesture was futile as her tears kept coming, but it was so very gentle that my heart splintered. Ruby's eyes slid closed right before she pulled away and turned her back to him pacing back across the floor. She stopped at the foot of the bed and wrapped her arms around herself, dipping her head. Silence fell in the room. I watched my Sam stare tenderly at Ruby. I could see he wanted to go to her but he stayed put, hands curling into fists at his sides, probably as a result of his internal struggle to give her space. I couldn't stand there and watch him stare at another person like that. I had just started to turn to leave before Ruby's voice sounded, sad but strong.

“I cannot, will not, stand by and watch you commit suicide. I would do anything for you, follow you anywhere...but I will not do that.” She turned to him and I felt like I was going to pass out at the pain written on her face. “I can't. Please. Trust me. Believe me when I tell you that this will be your fate. You of all people know there is always a way around or through anything. Stand with me. Help me find that way.” Her voice held a subtle plea. Sam smiled a sad smile and looked down at the ground. 

“There is no other way. Even if there were, there is no time now with one seal standing between this moment and Lilith's demise.” Ruby again looked torn and tortured. A small hiccup of a sound that was frightfully like a sob broke free from her. She turned her back at the moment when Sam's head snapped up to stare at her, looking pained. He didn't fight his urge to go to her then.

“No. Stop.” Ruby's words stilled him but she didn't face him. “I can't.” I watched real pain fill Sam's face.

“Are you saying you won't finish this with me?” Ruby stood stock still for a second and I swear I saw her shoulders shaking. When she turned to him she had a brave mask of resolve painted on her face. 

“I said I would so I will. We did start this together. It has been us through it all and...” Her voice cracked, “and even if the end means I have to stand voyeur to your sacrifice...” She stopped and closed her eyes taking a few breaths, “I will.” Sam closed the distance between them and folded her into his arms kissing the top of her head. She lifted her face to his. “I beg you. Please, don't make me watch you do this.” Sam looked almost as shocked as I felt at that statement. Ruby had just begged Sam!? Sam's face morphed into awe and wonder and he began to dip his head down to hers. I spun away so fast I slammed full frontal into Cass who reached out and steadied me. I brushed him off and walked as fast as I could toward what I hoped was the door out of this house of horrors. I swung it open wide and flung myself into the crisp night air. I heard the door close behind me and heard feet on the steps that I hadn't touched, knowing it was Cass who had followed me out. He came and stood next to me as I stared blankly into the dark abyss of the forest. We stood there like that for a while.

“She loves him.” My words were soft. I turned my head towards Cass and caught his eyes. “Ruby loves Sam.” I felt like I was being blown apart from the inside with panic, fear, loathing, hatred, sorrow, loss, love, envy and so many more emotions I could barely identify. Cass dipped his head in acknowledgment.

“I know.” With those two words I felt an odd sense of calm wash through me, probably shock.

“How is that possible? I thought demons couldn't love?”

“As did I.” I turned my whole body to face him.

“Then how is this possible?” He was silent for a few moments and never broke eye contact.

“You two have a habit of accomplishing the impossible.” His words seemed to carry a lot of weight and meaning. I felt a frown furrow between my eyebrows.

“I don't understand.” A sweet smile played across his face.

“You might someday.” I felt my frown deepen and Cass chuckled softly.

“Call if you need me.” I started to ask him to stay but he was gone in a flutter of wings and I was left standing alone on the edge of the forest, wondering how I had missed this budding romance between Sam and Ruby. 

“Thank fuck! I thought he'd never leave.” I felt like liquid nitrogen had been injected into my veins. My breathing was too fast and I felt my eyes bug out. I swallowed a few times before turning to face my new obstacle. He had those same white eyes that had hovered over me lit with a morbid, manic joy. A shiver went down my spine as I fought the memories that tried to surge up. 

“You seem to be doing well, Alastair.” I gestured around then asked, “How do you like being topside? Better yet, what has brought you up here? It doesn't really seem like your scene.” He tipped his head to the side with a wide smile.

“Pleasant banter...how wonderful. It is so nice to see that you haven't fallen into the disgusting need for instant gratification your generation is so obsessed with.” He paced a few steps and looked around with a contemplative look. “I haven't been up here since Hitler was in power.” He turned his head to look at me with that patented creepy ass smile that had seen every gory thing ever done and loved every second of it. “Now that man was a true artist.” He went back to pacing and looking around. 

“To be honest, I despise it up here. There is no stink of blood, burning flesh or that ground beef smell that only permeates the air when there is so much raw meat exposed. Its too quiet as well.” He looks at me out of the corner of his eye with that sick grin of his. “You remember the screams of my victims and those of my prodigies well, don't you, Dean?” I shivered and he laughed then sighed. “It is so cold up here.” He shivers and pulls the lapels of his parka firmly around himself. “Makes me nostalgic to get back home.”

“Why are you here, Alastair?” I gave myself brownie points for sounding a hell of a lot braver than I felt. 

“Why, to finish what I started, of course!” His voice was high pitched with delight and I had a second to wonder what the fuck he was talking about before he was on me.

 

··········  
Ruby's POV

 

It had been so long since I had begged anyone for anything, the gesture felt odd to me. Sam was lavishing the most tender of kisses on me and my heart just shattered. How could he be so bent on sacrificing himself when he had so much going for him? Tears slipped from my eyes. I wanted to tell him there were other options. I wanted to tell him the truth but...I was scared. I didn't want to lose him and it was killing me to know that this dream I was living in was going to come crashing down around me any day now...I just didn't know when. I couldn't crush him and I couldn't stand by and watch him die. A sob lodged itself in the back of my throat and I broke the kiss, backing up a few steps. I couldn't do this if all of it was going to be ripped away from me as if it never existed. I needed to distance myself from him. He started to follow me, his arms reaching for me with a slightly baffled look on his face, lips swollen from the kiss still burning along my lips. I shook my head and his arms fell back to his sides. I wanted so badly to fold myself back into his arms that I caught myself taking a step towards him and instead forced myself to turn away. I folded my arms across my stomach and fought the urge to go back to him. Then I felt it. My head snapped up and that familiar cold dread swept through me setting itself up in an icy pit in my stomach. I whirled to face Sam, my eyes wide with fear.

“Alastair-” I breathed out just that one word before it sounded as if the wall outside the room had been plowed through. Sam's Face morphed into that bloody, relentless mask that made me shiver and he was gone. I steeled myself, summoning all the courage I could muster and ran to stand in the doorway. No, not now. Dean was laying in a crumpled heap against the far wall covered in plaster and other residue from being put through the wall. I went to him and rolled him over, looking him over then checking for a pulse. I found one beating strong and steady. He was unconscious. I turned to see Sam looking at us with a gleam of panic in his eyes. I nodded my head and his eyes very briefly slid shut in relief then snapped open as he whirled to face Alastair as he hopped up into the cabin through the hole Dean had made. He landed in a crouch and cocked his head to the side as I turned my back to Dean to face him, crouched in a defensive position.

“Hello pet! This is a curious situation you find yourself in.” I swallowed and pulled myself to my feet falling back into that defensive stance. Alastair smiled wider than flicked his gaze to Sam. “You are a handsome specimen, aren't you?” His eyes returned to me. “Ruby, love, you should probably move out of my way if you value your life. I did not come here for you but I will not hesitate.” A mock pout came onto his face as he said, “It would be an utter waste of all that training I put you through.” My heart pounded so hard against my ribs I was sure he could hear it but I swallowed a few times and raised my chin in a challenge. I had never really liked Dean all that much but I would never forget that he had saved my life even though it had meant challenging everything he had been raised to believe. I flicked my eyes toward Sam and a hard sense of resolve zipped through me making my spine straighten. Sam loved Dean and for that principle alone I would not allow Alastair to harm him anymore.

“If you want Dean you'll have to go through me.” My voice sounded bold and confident as if I knew I could defeat him, which of course I couldn't. I was about to get my ass kicked. All the humor faded from Al's face.

“Fine.” Then he launched himself at me in a blur. I flew forward in an effort to get this fight away from Dean and crashed into him full speed, sending us both tumbling to the ground in a tangle of limbs. I saw Sam out of my peripherals standing in a battle position but looking at a loss. Al punched me a couple times before I pulled my knees up to my chest between the two of us and put everything I had into my feet planted against his chest. He flew back several feet to crash into an old dining set in the corner. I jumped to my feet and glanced quickly at Sam. As Al pulled himself back to his feet I knew I had a matter of seconds before he'd be on me again. 

“Sam, get Dean out of here!” Al surged forward and I delivered a spinning kick to the side of his face that staggered him into the wall. He popped back to his feet with a snarl and flattened me on the floor with his weight, growling in my face.

“What are you doing, you stupid little bitch?!” He wrapped his hand around my throat and slammed me back into the floor hard enough to make the wood groan. His fingers dug into the flesh of my throat and I couldn't breathe. I found myself smiling which actually shocked him enough that his grip loosened a bit. I pulled in a small gasp of air and choked out my answer.

“...aligning myself with the wining team...” My words were nothing but a gurgling whisper but he had heard them. I watched his face come crashing down right before he began closing his fist on my throat. My body reacted on its own. I began slamming both of my fists into his face, knocking his head back and forth like a ping pong ball, but his fingers kept closing. He was going to tear my throat out. I felt the first hot trails of blood ooze down my neck. I was going to die tonight. Suddenly Alastair roared in agony and reared back, hands pulling away and floundering around as if reaching for something on his back in that spot that you can't really reach. I pulled my legs back and slammed them into the center of his chest so hard that several crunch sounds rang out right before he was air-borne. He rolled then came to a halt on his stomach. I sat up, coughing and gasping in lungfuls of air. Dean was a few feet away from me, covered in blood and plaster, on his hands and knees. He nodded his head at me before Sam pulled him to his feet. Twice now that man had saved my life. 

I looked at Alastair and saw my knife sticking out of his back. He was laying completely still. I saw the brothers limping toward the door and surged to my feet. Alastair was not dead. He lifted his head and smiled at me and I knew he was about to do something horrible. I started running forward and he threw his hand out. It felt like a giant invisible fist had punched the entire frontside of my body. I didn't remember my feet having left the ground but I was crashing through the wall and spilling across the ground in a tumble. I couldn't breathe and my world was fuzzy as I dragged myself to my feet. I staggered and fell back to my knees. I stayed put staring at the ground that was spinning beneath me struggling for a couple breaths, then staggered back to my feet. I managed to stay up this time and fumbled forward. 

When I got to the cabin I was mostly fine again until I saw what was before me. Alastair was on his knees hand stretched forward, eyes rolled back in his head. Dean was on his knees, body arched in an arc of pain, head back, limbs spasming, blood flowing from his mouth. Sam was on his knees next to Dean, arms partially wrapped around him, tears flowing down his face plastered with a look of concentration. I couldn't breathe as I stood watching this. It was the beginning of the end. Then Al pulled a knife from a sheath that had been tucked away in his waistband, flipping it so that he was holding it blade first. He was going to throw it at one of the brothers. I didn't remember moving but I was running forward as he pulled his arm back. I wasn't going to make it. Panic fluttered in my chest for a second when I suddenly knew how to stop this. I stopped running and stepped to the left as Al let the blade fly. The knife buried hilt deep in my chest and I dropped to the floor. OW! A weird twinge surged out from where the knife was embedded and I dropped onto my side, staring down at the blade in horror. This had never happened before. What had he done to the knife? I heard a scream and rolled over to see that it was Dean. Sam had been distracted from me and let his guard down. Dean fell onto his side, writhing in agony as Sam stood on his feet with that look on his face. No. I knew what he was going to do a second before Dean stopped screaming and Alastair began screaming. 

“SAM, NOOOO!!!” I pulled myself to my feet and staggered over to him, grabbing his shoulder and shaking. “STOP! SAM, STOP!!! YOU CAN'T!” I looked back to see what he was doing to Alastair and saw that orange-yellow light shining from inside him, illuminating his skeleton. I was about to begin screaming for him to stop again when Al exploded in a shower of bones, flesh, blood and meatier things with one final, horrible scream. I covered my face with my forearm. When it was done I looked back at Sam, his breathing was steady and he was pissed. He glanced at me then dropped to his knees, pulling Dean into his lap, all that calm rage melting away as a scared panic took over. I fell beside him in horror. Dean was dying, coughing up blood, body twitching and seizing, and Alastair was dead. 

“You have no idea what you've just done.” I whispered.

“CASTIEL!!!” Sam's cry seemed to echo in the night, filled with anguish and need and the angel appeared promptly. He took in the scene before him and fell into a crouch next to Dean. He reached his arm out and placed two fingers against his forehead. Dean's body arched into that arc of pain and a scream tore out of his throat before I saw all the cuts, blood and bruises disappear as if they had never existed. Dean fell back against Sam, who held him close, unconscious once again. I watched the angel pull himself to his feet, never looking away from Sam. 

“One seal remains.” Sam looked up at him in confusion.

“Was another seal broken tonight?” The angel nodded his head.

“By you.” He gestured at the bright crimson paint job that had once been Alastair. “The final battle to stave off the apocalypse is about to begin.”


	13. Chapter 13

Castiel's POV

 

I took in the scene before me. Sam was sitting on the floor with Dean cradled in his lap, arms wrapped around him in an affectionate embrace that implied he could bar all the evils of the world from him. Ruby was on her knees on the other side of the brothers, her hand clutching at the knife buried hilt deep in her chest. Her eyes were in the direction of the brothers but were glazed over in a pain that seemed more than physical. A fine vibration seemed to be ringing through her and her breathing was irregular, her fingers spasming where they rested around the knife. I felt a frown furrow between my brows right before Sam's voice broke the silence. 

“Cass?” My head moved in his direction but my eyes stayed on Ruby until they finally moved to focus on him. “What did you mean I had broken the seal?” I stared at him contemplating how to reveal to him his role in all of this. I looked down at the unconscious Dean in his lap and understood mortals need to release their feelings in a flood of tears. 

“It is marvelous isn't it. God cleansed evil from the world in a flood and mortals do much the same. You wash away the intensity of your emotions, moral indiscretions and sufferings and regrets in a flood of tears...” My voice faded away as I marveled at the miniscule yet revelatory nature behind this truth.

“Cass?” My eyes locked back on Sam, having moved to rest on a blank space on the wall not far behind him. The light played a curious trick along his face that left only the green of his right eye illuminated against the lovely tan of his cheek bone. The rest of his face was cast in shadow so that all I got was a dim outline but the eye that was illuminated glowed with a sheen of tears. I didn't need to see the rest of his face to know how he would look and I felt my breath hitch. The Winchester boys were marvelous specimens of human beauty in every definition of the word. 

“Give him to me. I will keep an eye on him.” Ruby's voice sounded, soft, pained yet bold. I realized I had zoned off again and flicked my eyes over toward them Sam was doing something and it wasn't until he was moving toward me that I realized he had shuffled Dean into Ruby's hold. I stared at Ruby in wonder. Sam trusted her implicitly if he trusted her with Dean. Then again, she had saved his life before and she had probably done so again tonight, judging by the knife buried in her-

“Cass.” Sam's hand landed against my shoulder and shocked me out of my thoughts. “Are you alright?” I just stared at him. I didn't know what was going on with me, why I couldn't stay focused. I must have said so aloud because I watched Sam dip his head in what appeared to be an acknowledgment. “You are in shock.” He laughed a small, colorful burst of sound that made me frown in confusion, then he shook his head. “I didn't know angels could go into shock. I thought you guys were supposed to be prepared for anything.” My frown deepened.

“We are not robots, Sam. We angels feel as well.” Sam stared at me in silence for a moment then seemed to accept this and moved on.

“Cass, what did you mean when you said the final battle was about to begin?” I found my mouth opening and closing, floundering for words as a fish would for air out of water. 

“Alastair.” Ruby's voice sounded through the silence turning us both toward her. She was holding Dean's upper body firmly against her chest, her legs wrapped around his lower body. His head was resting against her breast and she was running her fingers through his hair lightly. She was staring down at him as she continued speaking. 

“Alastair was the second to last seal.” A thick silence ensued where I wondered how she had known about that and Sam soaked in this new information. 

“What?” Sam sounded incredulous but none of the suspicion I felt was reflected in him. I focused back on Ruby and waited for her to continue. I knew all of this but wanted to know how informed she really was. Ruby breathed deeply and released her lungful in a heavy exhale. 

“The first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. Originally it was supposed to be John Winchester.” She shook her head, “But he wouldn't break. He spent over 120 years under Alastair's twisted affections and he never cracked. But Dean...he spent a fourth of that time and chose to step off the rack. When he took the reigns from Al and started tearing them apart he started this all.”

“I already know this, Ruby. What are you getting at?” Sam's Question cut her off and Ruby finally looked up at him.

“It is said that the self sacrifice of the friend of the first shall open the way to the last and the first.” Both Sam and I stared at her. She had definitely had prior knowledge and I was starting to wonder how she had obtained it. If she really was supposed to be helping Sam and Dean it also made me curious as to why she wouldn't tell them about it. 

“Friend of the first meaning a friend of the first demon.” Sam said. Ruby nodded.

“Alastair has been Clyde to Lilith's Bonnie longer than I have been around. Open the way to the last refers to the final seal, the first being Lucifer, the one who created us all.” A thick, very tense silence fell over us all as Ruby went back to staring at the unconscious Winchester in her lap. She fell still as Dean began to move. He rolled over and slid down so that his face was buried against her hip, his arms around her waist. A small groan of content sounds as he settles in. Ruby stares down at him and she begins lightly running her fingers through is hair again. I am startled by the mirror image presented before me. Not too long ago I recalled a broken Ruby coiling herself around Dean in much the same way. I watched as she leaned back on one arm and continued in Dean's hair with the other, her head fell back and her eyes closed. The silence went on and Ruby's hand moved slower and slower in Dean's hair.

“Ruby?” Sam's voice, even though it was soft with concern, sounded loud as a gun shot in the quiet. A small flinch shocked through me and I stared over at him to see him staring at her, eyes furrowed in worry and concern even a bit of fear glinted in his eyes. I followed his gaze to the knife still buried in her chest. Why had she not removed the knife? She hadn't moved when Sam had spoken. Her arm that had been holding her up gave and she fell to the floor, her head a solid thunk of flesh against the decaying hard wood. Sam and I were both moving forward and reached her at the same time. Sam was trying to remove Dean's grip from Ruby whom I was examining. The only major wound on her was the knife sticking out of her chest but something looked off about it. I tore the shirt open revealing the wound. The skin around the blade was swollen with the purple of her veins and the rest was tinged a light green. The flesh wrapped directly around the metal of the knife was glowing a dim orange yellow.

“I can't get him to let go.” I ignored this staring at the enigma before me. “Cass!” I looked at him and he looked panicked. “What are you waiting for? Pull the damned knife out!” I wanted to reach for the blade but something told me to leave it. Sam was reaching for the knife because I had hesitated too long.

“No!” I shoved him away and threw my body over top Ruby's to block Sam from trying again. Sam stared up at me from the floor, anger gleaming in his eyes.

“Are you fucking serious? After everything she has done for us!” I opened my mouth to respond but stopped when I felt a frail hand lay against my side right above my hip. I looked down and saw Ruby staring at me. She closed her fist, nails digging into my flesh until her hand was clenched in the cloth of my shirt. She stared directly into my eyes and seemed to be struggling for words, mouth opening and closing. Finally she spoke.

“...don't...touch the knife...don't let them...” She pulled on my shirt more and I leaned down and back to hear her better, “Only...demons...” She arched up a little and gasped and I saw the flesh around the blade glow a little brighter. Her hand clenched and she pulled me closer with a forceful jerk. “He can't...kill Lilith...don't-” Her barely audible words cut off as the glow around the blade grew a bright orange-yellow light that made the bones in her chest around the blade shine out against her skin. Her head kicked back and I knew she was about to die. I heard shuffling and saw Sam scurrying towards us, panic, terror and pain written all over his face. I braced myself.

“Sam, no! Only demons can touch the blade!” He either didn't hear me or didn't care because when he got to me he shoved me and when I didn't move his eyes met mine for a brief second before the hand on my shoulder became charged with power, sending a small shock through me that sent me flying back about twelve feet or so. I landed hard but popped up in time to see Sam wrap his fingers around the hilt and pull upward. The first pull only yanked Ruby's upper body off the floor and caused her to scream. Sam looked frantic with terror and I started towards them but not before Sam put everything he had into pulling the blade out of Ruby's chest one more time. I stopped as I heard the crack of bones and the wet sound of tearing flesh punctuated with a screaming inhale from Ruby who was arched off the floor in pain. A trail of that orange-yellow light followed behind the blade as it exited her chest and traveled down through the hilt of the blade into Sam's hand and up his arm disappearing under his shirt. Sam gasped and fell back onto his butt sending the knife clattering to the floor. He sat kind of slumped over for a second and I started to move toward him but stopped when he visibly shook it off and scrambled toward a very still Ruby. 

Dean was awake now and he was staring at the scene before him with horror written across his face. I couldn't believe how things had escalated. I had lived countless mortal lifetimes and still found myself surprised by the unexpected.

“Cass! Help her!” I didn't remember moving but I was falling to my knees next to Sam who had pulled Ruby into his lap and was cradling her. She was bleeding heavily, coating his thighs in blood. Sam looked down at her and rocked her back and forth, rubbing his thumb across her cheek, smearing her blood across her face as his hands were coated in the crimson stickiness. 

“It's gonna be okay, baby. We are gonna fix you.” She was staring at him, breathing shallowly, her mouth was opening and closing like she wanted badly to say something but simply couldn't find the air for it. She looked at me and mouthed something at me that I couldn't make out. Sam suddenly lashed out and dug his fingers into my upper right arm, shaking me to get my attention.

“Help her! Cass, Please! Please, help her!” Tears streamed down his face and my heart broke.

“I can't, Sam.” Sam's face crumbled and his bottom lip began trembling. I wanted so badly to fix this. “I can't heal demons the way I can mortals.”

“BUT YOU DID IT BEFORE!” His scream seemed to echo making the statement hold more weight. I picked up the blade he had just yanked free from her chest, examining it. The knife had small off shoots, like branches on the trunk of a tree sticking out from the blade itself with bits of torn flesh decorating them, seemingly like leaves. I could barely see underneath the blood that the branches were meant to detach from the blade, probably as an assured means of destruction. Whatever power the knife had been enchanted with, it was surely death magic and it needed to be in the flesh to work. I felt an odd tingle along the skin touching the blade and promptly dropped it, remembering Ruby's warning. My eyes locked on the very red, rawness of the wound. The skin was shredded and specks of white, that looked suspiciously like bone fragments, decorated the wound. Looking closer I could see the bones that had been shattered in order to tear the knife free and further inside I could see a pool of blood filling the fleshy casm of her chest and spilling onto Sam's lap. I nodded and felt my eyes well up as well at what I was about to tell him.

“That wound wasn't fatal. This one is. I would need time to heal her. Time and medical help, both of which we do not have.” I watched his chest heave a couple of times before he buried his head against Ruby's hair and continued rocking with her. The tears that had been gathering in my eyes broke free as Sam began all out sobbing. The pain of his sobs sang through my veins, imploding in small fractal shards of glass along the inside of my heart. He was mumbling to her telling her things that were so utterly sweet that I couldn't take it. He truly loved her! I shook my head. I couldn't let him suffer like this. We couldn't afford for him to make the wrong decision out of grief. I never thought I'd make this decision and I didn't know how it was going to react to a demon but I had to give it a try.

“Sam?” I had to say his name five times before he would look at me. “I need you to let go of her and move back.” He pulled her closer and I grabbed her hand and looked him directly in his eyes. “I am going to try to save her...but you have to do as I say because we are running out of time.” I gestured at Ruby. His eyes followed and when he took in her shallow, infrequent breaths and unfocused eyes he nodded and released her, kissed her forehead and moved back. I moved forward and kicked my leg over her, straddling her waist. I put my hands on either side of her face and stared into her eyes from above her. God I hoped this worked. I prayed for her life, prayed for this to work, for Sam to not have to lose her. Then I let go. I stared beyond her eyes, into her. I wasn't going to find a soul so instead I searched for what I knew was there, humanity. I found it and held on tight. Ruby gasped as I forged a link between the two of us, a bridge needed to make this possible. I felt her slow, sluggish heart beating as if it were my own, felt her lungs barely expanding and retracting, felt her need to let us know what she had done and what couldn't be done right before a flood of memories knocked my head back and I heard hers connect with the wood of the floor boards beneath her. I couldn't breathe. What had she done? Ruby, no! I wanted to pull back but knew it was too late so instead I focused on what she had become as opposed to what she once was and gave in. The boys needed her but Dean was not going to like this when he found out. I willed my essence, my grace into her, giving her everything; the good, the pure, the past, the personal and yes, the tainted. Even angels cannot remain untainted.

“I give it to you. Take it.” 

I felt her resist at first but when my eyes met hers I told her why it had to be this way. They needed her more than me. Tears slipped free from her lovely eyes before they slid shut and she accepted it. My grace flowed slowly from me into her like water escaping through a tiny drain out of a huge pool. I leaned forward and pressed my mouth to hers, our lips opened on their own as if our bodies knew what was going on better than we did and my grace flooded from my mouth to hers. I felt my body going limp against hers, weariness and emptiness settling into my bones and the fibers of my muscles and skin. I felt the warmth of her tears running down my hands against the side of her face and felt some tears leak from me as well, dripping down onto her cheeks. As the last of my grace left me I sent one more thought to her. Fix what you helped break and take care of them. I felt the cold darkness swallow me as my body fell limp against her and resigned myself to a peaceful eternity. 

 

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Dean's POV

 

My heart raced as I watched the thin line of pale, almost white, blue light flow from Cass into Ruby. It flowed from his chest into hers, glowing blindingly around the raw, red, gaping casm in her chest where the blade had been. Ruby arched up off the floor, mouth open wide as if to scream but no sound came out. Cass' hands shot out to clasp either side of her face and he leaned down over her and brought their mouths together. I had a second to feel shocked that he had just kissed Ruby. She opened her mouth as if welcoming the contact and I watched the light show change. It redirected so that it was pouring from Cass' mouth into hers. The flesh of their throats were a bright pink where the magnificent blue-white light flowed through them. I watched the ragged edges of the wound and the splintered bone re-knit and a beam of blinding light momentarily shot through the room from the now small hole in her chest before a thin layer of flesh closed over it and the light dulled to the pinkness similar to the flesh of their throats. Suddenly the whole room lit up in a brilliant, eye searing, white flash resonating from Cass that forced me to close my eyes, a burst of wind shot through the room with the two of them at the center and then it was over. I don't know how long the whole process had taken. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours or days for all I knew. When I opened my eyes Cass' body was limply, carelessly draped over Ruby, who was panting. 

I didn't remember moving but I was suddenly right next to the two. I gasped as I took Ruby in. She was amazing. Her pale, ivory skin was aglow from the inside out, her long dark curls were fanned out around her, her lips were parted as she panted for air and her eyes...her once burnt honey eyes glowed a bright, angelic, almost unreal blue that reflected their light about a foot around her. She was mesmerizing. I shook myself out of what felt reminiscent of a trance and felt my heart stop beating as I took in Cass. He hadn't moved at all. He still straddled Ruby and was collapsed on top of her in that oh too still way that was painfully familiar to me. My hands reached out of their own accord and wrapped around his shoulders, yanking him into my lap. His body was dead weight and his head lulled and rolled around bonelessly...lifelessly. My vision blurred and I felt a cry of grief get stuck in a painful lump in the back of my throat. I didn't need anything else to tell me that my angel was gone. I lowered my head and rested my forehead against his, breathing shallowly to restrain my cries of grief. I looked up when I felt a hand on my shoulder right into Ruby's unbelievable blue eyes. Crystalline tears streamed down her face. She broke eye contact and looked down at the dead angel in my lap. She ran her hand along the contour of his face and a small sob broke free from her a second before she sprung to her feet and jogged out of the room. The door to the cabin closed behind her and I stared at it, wishing I could follow, get as far from here as possible. I wanted to run and never stop until I ran off the edge of the earth. I don't know how long I sat there staring at the door.

“Dean?” Sam's voice was soft but I flinched hard as if I had been shot. My eyes roved slowly over to him in a way that let my dislocated brain know I was in shock. When I was finally looking at him I saw that he too was crying, a look of pain on his face. Tears were streaming freely down my face. Sam looked down at the man in my lap and he opened his mouth as if to say something but I cut him off.

“We are not giving him a hunter's funeral.” He looked at me, shocked. “He was an angel.” I looked back down at him and saw that my hand was stroking through his hair. I must have been doing that for a while because I had that numbness along the palm that suggested long exposure to something. Fresh tears broke free and my voice caught as I said, “He was my angel.” We sat in silence for a while when something popped into my head. 

Sometime, not so far in the future, you will take something with the intention of helping people. You will believe to the very depth of your bones that what you are doing is right and will not stop at anything to achieve your goal. People who trust and believe in you will be hurt. I see them crying. I see death, loss, misery, angst. You will spend many years redeeming yourself. You will not realize how wrong you were until the thing that will come to mean the most to you is gone.   
The echo of Sam's voice rang through my head and hoped sliced through me, almost painfully. My head snapped up and I locked eyes with a baffled Sam. 

“Do you remember telling Castiel what his fate was?” Sam's eyes seemed to be searching mine a second before his head dipped once in acknowledgment. I felt my face lift in a joyous smile.

“This isn't what you foresaw. He isn't supposed to die now!” A loud, joyous burst of laughter exploded out of me and I leaned down and kissed Cass's forehead. “He isn't supposed to die now, which means he's coming back.” Sam's face was still an emotionless mask. And a felt a flare of anger before he finally spoke.

“What I see isn't always clear, Dean. I have no way of telling whether this is actually supposed to be his fate or not.” A frown stretched across my face.

“But you said he would spend many years redeeming himself.” He stared blankly at me and my voice was louder when I spoke the next, almost desperate, “He can't redeem anything if he's dead!” He sighed and looked at the floor.

“Remember I told you that the things I see don't always unfold the way I see them?” he was silent as if waiting for me to respond but I was not going to acknowledge this ridiculous line of reasoning. He went on, probably figuring out how obstinate I was toward his logic. “This is because of free will. I can see what something might become but that can change based on a million small actions and decisions.” He looked up at me with pity and remorse gleaming in his eyes and I snapped.

“Don't look at me like that! Don't you dare look at me like that!” I was breathing heavily and I could feel my face flushing with anger. “Why is it so difficult for you to believe that he might come back to us? WHY!?” Sam stared at me but didn't respond. “We are burying him.” My voice came out in a cold growl. Sam nodded his head once up and once down then got to his feet, looked at Cass for a second and walked out and gently closed the door behind him. When he was gone I looked down at Cass and smiled. My fingers kept pushing their way through his hair.

“It's okay Cass.” I kissed his forehead. “It's okay, my beautiful angel. I'm going to bury you.” I ran my fingers along his cheek and jawline. “And when you come back to me everything will be perfect. I promise.” I closed my eyes and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. 

 

··········  
Ruby's POV 

 

I had stood in the tree line, watching the macabre funeral scene before me. Dean hadn't seemed as mournful as he had when I had run out of the cabin. He had a slight smile on his face and a gleam of hope in his eyes that disturbed me. Sam on the other hand held enough sorrow for the both of them. He was morose as he picked up the shovel and pitched dirt on top of his friend while Dean disappeared into the cabin. I watched Sam the whole time, wishing I could undo everything that had happened this past night. Tears broke free from his eyes about ten minutes into him shoveling and I fought the urge to go to him because this was my fault. Castiel had given his life, his grace to save me. Tears of my own broke free. I was unworthy of his marvelous sacrifice. I was still so dumbfounded at how an angel would sacrifice his life for me, a demon. In almost seven hundred years no one...no one had ever done anything like this, for me. I couldn't stand it anymore. I walked over to Sam but he was so wrapped up in his grief he didn't see me or fell me. I stood to his right and reached out, placing my hand against the bicep of his arm. He still kept at it, throwing shovelful after shovelful into the hole. The angel was, mercifully, covered. I stepped behind him, heart heavy with grief and wrapped my arms around his waist. He stilled and I placed my cheek between his shoulder blades. He was hot and sweaty but I knew we both needed to be held right now. He stood there breathing heavily for a few minutes, and then I felt his shoulders shaking. I walked around to the front of him and pressed the full length of my body against him, not for sex but for comfort and wrapped my arms around him, pressing my cheek to his chest. His arms folded around me, one hand delving into my hair as the shovel fell to the ground. He squeezed me close as he cried hard yet in almost silence, only a sob or two escaping here and there. When he was finally almost cried out I found words just flowing from my mouth that I hadn't consciously decided to spill. 

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know how much he meant to the two of you. I just wish I could give it all back. Undo it all and give him back to you. I-” He yanked my head back by my hair and glared at me.

“Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that!” I saw such pain and loss in his eyes that it was almost too much. I had meant it. Regret washed through me.

“Sam...this is all my fault. If I hadn't-” 

“No! This isn't your fault!” another wave of grief and regret tore through me. If only he knew how much of this really was my fault...he needed to know but god damn me, I couldn't bring the words to my lips. “Cass chose to save you...” His eyes moved off to some distant spot above my head and his words were soft with self loathing, confusion and about a dozen mixed emotions. “I asked him to.”

“Sam-”

“And the only reason you were...” he paused for a second, swallowed then continued, “The only reason you were dying in the first place was because you took a blade meant for Dean.” he looked into my eyes with gratitude and...love? “You saved my brother. You put yourself in the way to save him at the expense of your own life.” He cupped my jaw in his hand and ran his thumb along my cheek. That warm feeling I got when I was near him flooded through me and my heart seized painfully as I realized, me loving him was going to make this so much harder. He leaned down and I stood up on my tip toes to meet his soft lips with my own in a passionate kiss. When he pulled back it was to stare into my eyes from inches away.

“I can never repay you for what you did for me tonight.” I wanted him to stop praising me. It hurt me to hear him sweet talk me when none of it was true. I had saved his brother and cost him the life of a friend. I wasn't sure that was a praiseworthy trade-off. His large warm hands traveled down my sides as his lips met mine again. His hands kept traveling south, over my hips, along my outer thighs where he squeezed his fingers and spread my legs lifting me up so that I was straddling his hips. I locked my ankles behind his lower back and delved my hands into his hair as the kiss grew deeper. I could have stayed like this forever. I pulled back and stared at him. I wanted him. God did I want him, especially when his fingers slipped under the cloth of my shirt the glide up the bare flesh along my spine. I closed my eyes and my head slid back. I felt him place the softest of kisses against my throat then pull back. I lifted my head and looked down at him and a soft gasp left his throat.

“I liked the blue but damn am I glad it wasn't permanent.” He ran the thumb on his free hand under the soft flesh of my eye. “It would be a tragedy of unfathomable proportions to never again see these beautiful gems staring back at me.” I felt my eyes sting with tears before we were swallowed by passion. Time was lost to us for a little while as we were absorbed in the feeling of our bodies against each other. When We pulled back the sun was breaking over the trees and both of our eyes locked on the half filled hole in the ground. We looked back at each other and I placed one more soft kiss against his lips before untwisting myself from him and sliding to the ground. He watched me as I moved off toward the cabin and once I was inside I looked out the window where he met my eyes with a small smile then turned away resuming his shoveling. I watched him for a few minutes, loathing with every molecule of my being what I had to do. I moved away from the window and found Dean sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the door as if waiting expectantly for me.

“Can we go somewhere? I have to talk to you.”


	14. Chapter 14

Ruby's POV

 

Dean stared blankly at me, elbows resting on his knees, hands hanging loosely between his thighs, back slumped, the weight of sorrow showing plainly on his face at the corners of his lips and glistening, bloodshot eyes. His hair was carelessly mussed and his clothes, that hadn't been changed in who knows how long now, were wrinkled, covered in plaster, blood, dirt, sweat and tears and torn with all the action they had seen. He looked utterly exhausted and worn ragged. I tried to remember the last time any of us had a moment of peace between all the drama, bloodshed and sex. The last bit of normalcy I could remember was right before I showed up here at the cabin and found Sam blowing Dean in the clearing outside. The fact that that thought didn't register on an emotional level struck me as odd and funny. That one moment of time had been so traumatic, yet here we all were, still together and alive...one man, no, one angel down. I couldn't remember the last time any of us had slept or eaten. I sighed at what I knew I had to do. Dean still stared at me with that blank look that said he had seen and been through too much in too short a period of time. I so seconded that notion. 

“Come with me on a food run. We all need some food and a long rest...we're gonna need it.” He sat there staring at me for a moment and I raised my eyebrow inquisitively and cocked my head towards the door. He said nothing, instead he just pulled himself to his feet and began moving toward the door. The way he walked looked as if everything hurt. I flinched as I remembered him being put through a wall or two in the past couple days, being abused by Alastair's magic and I had played a part in his pain as well...a huge part. I followed behind him on the way to the car which was parked in the shadows of the tree line fast being chased away by a bright red-orange sunrise. I couldn't help but marvel at how beautiful this sunrise was. The rose-red fingers of dawn brushing the deep green of the pines to the sing song tune of the forest coming alive for another day. I could smell the dew on the ground, carried by a soft breeze. A small bubble of laughter escaped me as I realized the paradox of death and life and how they fit together so seamlessly. I stood waiting for Dean to open the Impala and watched him pat his pockets, grumble a viscous curse then look up at me. I held up one hand to silence him.

“You lost your keys.” He dipped his head in acknowledgment and I shook my head at him when he went to move to go back toward the cabin. “No. you stay here. I'll go look for them.” He looked so exhausted I couldn't let him go fret over the location of his keys. In this state he'd be more likely to over look them anyway. He must have been more tired than I thought because his ass made friends with the front quarter panel of the Impala with no further debate. It took me about forty some minutes to find the damned keys which had fallen down underneath the foundation of the damned cabin between where the wall had been and the floor. Coincidentally right underneath where Dean had become a human wrecking ball. When I arrived back at the car Dean was stretched back against the windshield, arms underneath his head eyes closed and head back. I stood there for a minute, debating on what to do. He was really tired if he hadn't heard me approach. I wanted to leave him be but knew I couldn't. We did need to eat, all of us. We needed food, sleep and a shower, in that order. First I needed to tell Dean. I couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I intentionally shuffled my feet and stepped on a stick sending a sharp snap through the silence that had Dean's eyes snapping open and looking around for danger then settling on me. Once he had assessed the situation his eyes fell to half mast and that was it.

“Get in the car, Sleepy.” he went to shuffle off the hood on the drivers side but stopped when he saw me sliding the key into the door and popping it open.

“What are you doing?” his voice was gruff and heavy with exhaustion and the edge of sleep.

“Driving. I am not letting you get behind the wheel like this.” I gestured at him and he scowled at me then opened his mouth as if to protest then closed it again. “So get your cute little ass in the car.” 

“Ruby-” I held up one finger to silence him while pulling the key out of the door.

“Eh! Nope.” I gestured from him to the passenger side while putting one leg in the car. “Shotgun shuts his cake hole. Now get in. The faster we make this trip the faster we can all count some fat, fluffy sheep.” He glanced at me with a small smile at the left corner of his mouth then slid off the hood and moseyed around to the passenger side grumbling something about his lines always being stolen and needing to invest in a patent.

 

··········

 

We had enough food in the back of the impala to feed a small regiment of soldiers, which was actually a very accurate analogy in these circumstances. Dean was sitting beside me with his head lulling back and forth against the head rest, eyes closed. When I turned off the main road onto an unknown, desolate side road I knew he would pipe up and was not disappointed.

“This isn't the right turn. Where are we going?” We had both been silent for most of the trip except to collaborate on what eats to get. I glanced over at him to see that his head was still lulling, eyes still closed. I looked back at the road and smiled knowing he had been mapping the trip in his head, turn for turn. 

“I need to talk to you.”

“And this requires going to some mystery spot about two and a half miles away from the cabin?” My smile widened and even I could here the smile in my voice when I spoke.

“If I wanted you dead or something equally nefarious, you would be. I wouldn't have even had to lift a finger to do it myself, all I'd have to do is stop saving your ass.” I saw him smile out the corner of my eye and we rode the last minute and a half down the random dirt road in silence. I put the car in park in a small clearing that had a short dock dropping off into a relatively large, beautiful pool of blue that reflected the sky and the trees on the other side of its shores on its flawless, glassy surface. I turned the car off and sat there staring at the scene before me. My hands were clenched tight around the wheel, palms sweating. The interior of the car was getting hot and I wanted this discussion to be in an open space, preferably one where I could breathe and move around. 

I opened the door and stepped out of the car leaving my door open in case Dean wanted to sit in the car while I talked to him. Actually, that would be preferable because he was not going to like what I had to say. I propped my butt against the panel where Dean had posted earlier and crossed my arms, staring of into the trees ahead of me. Where should I start? I didn't know how to tell him what I needed to say. All I knew was, it needed to be said. I must have been standing there for a while because the passenger side door opened and closed and I heard Dean walking around the front of the car. He posted his butt against the panel next to me, about three inches away and I saw him cross his arms. I still had no idea where to begin.

“Ruby-” He stopped and I looked at him to see him rub at his eyes with one hand and sigh. He sounded fairly agitated. “Do you need a written invitation? Spit it out. I would like to get some sleep before we have to figure out how to save the world.” I floundered for words for a couple more minutes and this did not improve his mood. 

“Move.” He growled. I looked at him and stepped to the side standing about two feet back from the car. He pushed himself up onto the hood of the car and leaned back against the hood. “If you are gonna stand there with your mouth hanging open, catching flies, wasting my time I figure I may as well get a tan out of this.” He adjusted himself then fell still, eyes shutting. Minutes went by and I jumped when he spoke.

“Ruby, in the past who knows how many days I have been toyed with, beaten up, put through one wall, thrown into several others, been demon hoodooed, almost stabbed and...” He stopped and swallowed and my heart clenched. When his voice came back a couple seconds later it was thick with what sounded like tears, “-and I've lost one of my only friends.” His voice held a cold rage like someone had flipped a switch inside him when he said the next, “You said you wanted to talk. So, fucking talk. If not take me back to the damned cabin so I can get some fucking sleep.” I sighed heavily before I took another step back from the car and stared at him. A barrage of memories assaulted me and my breath caught. Six hundred and fifty years of memories slammed around the inside of my skull and I closed my eyes taking a few deep breaths, calming myself.

“No one ever gets it right, you know. Not the history books, Hollywood...no one.” I looked at the hood of the Impala while speaking and saw his head turn in my direction but he otherwise remained still.

“It started its decimation in 1347 claiming millions. I think scholars now put the numbers around 75 million. My father was a merchant doing business in the little Italian province of Messina. He watched the ships dock, twelve of them in all. The Genevans had come to trade but when they got there almost all of their sailors were dead.” I fell silent, remembering. “It started with the rats you see. Rats, there are always rats on ships. They infected the humans then ran their fat, pestilence ridden, furry asses all around infecting more. The air smelled of terror, grief, death and doom. No one was safe. People were afraid to so much as brush each other. They barricaded there windows and risked the bitter grasp of winter, using whatever cloth they could spare, cramming it under doors, in cracks in the walls and around the windows. If you walked in public you never did so without being as covered as possible and you always had your face covered because if you sneezed you had more than likely just killed your neighbor.” I focused my eyes and glanced at Dean to see him staring at me. He looked as if he was truly waiting for me to continue but I had to turn my back to recover before going on. The memories, though centuries old, still ached. I wandered a few steps closer toward the trees. 

“I watched the bodies build up. Every morning a troop of men, the reapers we called them, would wander from house to house collecting the dead. I would see them parade off a cart full of bodies and no one would speak of it but we knew what they were doing to them. There were no more graves to be had nor the manpower to dig them if their were. The scent of burning flesh hung heavy in the air in the morning and resonated through the mind and heart at night. I prayed, Dean.” I took a great inhale of air trying to quench the sting in the back of my throat and behind my eyes.

“I prayed hard, day and night. I begged. Please god, spare my family, save us from this pestilence, deliver us from these evils. I went to sleep one night and the next morning when the house roused my sister was dead. The black death was horribly efficient like that. You could be perfectly healthy one day, then dead the next. Yet still I prayed. Then my father started coughing. He was set to make out for Sicily within the next five days.” I paused and felt the first tear slip down my cheek. “He never made it.”

“Ruby-” Dean's voice was soft but heavy with emotion. I shook my head.

“His skin swelled with sores that oozed blood and puss, his lungs coughed blood. I tended to his bedside the whole time. Most people died within twenty four hours, at most they had three days.” I shook my head. “Not my father. When the third night came and went and he yet lived I thought that maybe God had heard me. I thought that maybe he'd spare him. But it got worse. He bled from his nose, ears, eyes and mouth. Slowly, Dean. He died so, so very slowly and painfully. I cried and begged God to save him, to take me but spare him. He suffered terribly. He suffered from horrible aches and pains. When he ate it hurt him to swallow and promptly came back up. His frequent bowl movements flowed like water and that too was laced with blood. His body shook with cold set in bone deep, though his flesh ran scarlet with fever and blood. No amount of cloth could chase away the chill he felt and by the end there wasn't a blanket in the house not scarred with his blood.” I shiver ran over me and the warmth of the breeze felt cold as it brushed through my hair. I was silent for a few minutes letting my pain leak free in rivulets of tears. I heard some shuffling and took another step forward to dissuade any ideas Dean might have had about coming close to me.

“When the Reapers came to cart away his body they may as well have taken my family with them. My father was the grounds upon which my family, which was rather large for the fourteenth century, stood upon. It all fell apart after that. I watched brothers, cousins, daughters, aunts, uncles...all of them fell victim to the plague, one after another, yet still I remained physically healthy, untouched by pestilence. My family slowly fell into poverty as our numbers dwindled over the course of a year. By the end all that was left was my mother, my youngest brother and myself. We had moved into a tiny two room hovel, in what you would call the ghetto, that consisted of one larger room and a small wash cubby off to the side that had no door. We slept on sheets on the floor and many nights I found myself begging for death to escape the cold and the hunger. I had long since given up on god.” I stopped and turned to look at Dean who had remained utterly silent. I needed to sit down so I fell to the ground, folding my legs Indian style beneath me. Dean was propped against the side of the car, having unfolded himself off the hood. He looked pained as if he didn't want to hear anymore, but I couldn't stop it now. It was just pouring out of me.

“My brother got a nose bleed one day and my mother collapsed in on herself.” I shook my head and felt fresh tears run free. “The most horrific monsters are the intangible ones. Hunger, exhaustion, fear, cold, pestilence. No one can ever accurately describe them but they are forces to be reckoned with. The constant fear of the plague, the bone aching cold, the gnawing pit of hunger that shoots sharp pains through your body, weakens you, makes your body shake and your limbs soft. It goes straight to the head. Add grief on top of that and well...” I shrugged, “My mother couldn't take it anymore and she broke. I left our hovel in search of any help to be had; blankets, water, food...I was such a fool then. You can't have food when there is no one to harvest and no strength to hunt. I wandered in the rain for hours, blathering to god, cursing him while begging for help, for deliverance.” I looked directly into Dean's eyes. “My savior came, but it sure as fuck wasn't divine.” 

“This is where you made your deal?” I didn't answer his question directly. Instead I looked back at the ground and carried on.

“I stumbled right into my savior, falling back into the mud. When I looked up I saw a young, beautiful, well coiffed young woman. She was startlingly healthy. Her skin almost glowed with a rosy pallor and she was well fed. The woman helped me up and opened an umbrella. We walked to the tavern where she bought me a few drinks. The warmth of the spirits, though false, was heavenly. I cried my sorrows to her and she listened then offered me a deal. She could give me power to protect my family, regain my wealth and save us all. I could, if I wanted to, save my town if I used my magic right. I recoiled and refused her witchery at first but momentarily accepted. We worked out my terms within the next hour over more liquor and some bread.” Dean was silent for a few minutes then came his question.

“What were the terms?” I looked at him.

“She would grant me the gift of witch craft in exchange for my soul, of course.” 

“Yeah, but how long did she give you?” I felt deep frown lines crease my face.

“'The cesspools of hell are overflowing with the stink of humanity. So, I’m going to make you a once in a lifetime offer. I teach you the art of the craft, in exchange, you can keep your soul until your life blood no longer flows and when your last breath leaves your lips, your soul comes to me.'” He stared blankly at me.

“So basically she taught you to be a witch and the only catch was that when you died you went to hell?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. By the way. That speech sounded really creepy coming from your lips. She didn't actually phrase it that way did she?”

“Yes.”

“Yeesh! For a saleswoman her pitch needs some work.” A small smile curled the corner of my mouth.

“It was the perfect appeal for a desperate woman.” His face sobered a bit.

“So, uh, you lived a long happy life then?” His face actually looked a bit hopeful but I felt my face go blank.

“Not exactly. My brother lived and I got what was left of my family out of the city and into a higher, wealthier station.”

“Then?” I felt my face shut down completely.

“Then two years after I made the deal I was dead and being hanged, drawn and quartered in hell...back when that was the popular method...though Alastair always had a soft spot for that particular technique.”He flinched hard at that one and I instantly felt a twinge of regret. I had callously picked my words forgetting all that he had been through. “I'm sorry.” He shook his head then shrugged.

“Why'd you tell me all of this, Ruby?” Now I flinched.

“I told you this because I had hoped it might help you understand why I did what I did.” His eyes grew suspicious as he stared holes through to the back of my head. 

“How long were you on the rack?” I closed my eyes at all the memories that tried to surface and took a breath and held it. I knew why that question was important to him.

“One hundred-fifty six years.” I heard a sharp intake of breath and opened my eyes to see Dean gazing off distantly, eyes filled with personal horrors. Then he looked at me.

“Tell me that was in Hell years!” I shook my head and he closed his eyes. I saw his lips moving then his eyes sprang open. “You spent almost nineteen thousand years on the rack?!” I nodded solemnly and his eyes actually filled with tears. 

“Why? How could you stand it for so long?”

“I couldn't. Which is why I am the way I am.” He looked confused and I just shook my head. “Maybe one day I will tell you all about it, but for now I can't bring myself to speak of it. Lets just suffice it to say, I have lived a loooong life.” He nodded his head then his eyes focused back on me. 

“I'll ask again. Why did you tell me all of this, Ruby?” I sighed.

“After so many years at the hands of Alastair, my soul was warped and no longer human. The pain behind most of my memories was non-existent but the hatred...that stayed. I hated god and everything faithful and sacred to him. I openly accepted the demon faith, their belief in Lucifer and basked in what it meant to be a demon. I loved it. For almost five hundred years I lived a simple, easy, fun life. I did what demons do, but I was amazing at it. I don't think I can tell you just how hard some of the things I have accomplished in my time as a demon were. You wouldn't believe the things I have seen, the things I've done...honestly, it's probably best if you don't know anything about the past five hundred years of my existence.” I looked at him to see I had his full attention.

“I'm listening. Go on, before I get impatient.” I cocked my head to the side and looked at him, really looked at him. Both he and Sam were amazing. I had been a force of chaos for five centuries and then my whole life had changed because of two humans...and, an angel.

“You and Sam changed everything.”

 

··········  
Dean's POV

 

Tears spilled from her eyes and I heard the love in her voice when she spoke Sam's name. She truly did love him. She had blind sided me with all the information she had spilled to me. Her pain. She had lived through such pain. My heart ached for her but I was had a bad feeling about what the real purpose was behind all of this. Her head dropped to hang loose between her shoulder blades and I stiffened. I was really not going to like this.

“Little over two years and change ago I was in a pub in Ireland with a few others, wreaking a little havoc among the natives when I was approached by another demon, Lilith to be exact.” A tingle shot down my spine that had me standing straighter, ready to pop up off the car. Ruby must have sensed the tension because her eyes flicked up to mine then back toward the ground. “'Want to get a little personal revenge against God?' That was her opening line, and I was hooked.” She sighed and stopped for a few moments too long so that I was on the verge of yelling at her to continue. Finally, when she continued, her voice was laden with regret. “The plan was simple really, or so it seemed at the time. 1. Get John to sell his soul and get him in the hot seat. 2. Get Sam to start using his powers. 3. Spring the devils gate and free Azazel's army and by that time he would have broken the first seal. I was going to be a general in Azazel's army, operating under Sam in the hierarchy, of course, and our merry little band of demons was going to roll around popping the seals until Lucifer was freed. At which point he was going to take over Sam and Michael was going to claim his vessel, you. They were going to duke it out, Lucifer was going to win and boom! Happiness for all demons and buh-bye to the angels and everything good and holy-rolling.” She stopped and locked eyes with me. My jaw had long since made friends with the ground and I could barely think straight. I was Micheal’s vessel? I had a zillion questions running through my mind but what came out summed them all up in the simplest, most elementary way.

“What?” Her face fell, as if she had been hoping to spew it all out there and leave it like that. “I'm going to need you to slow down and explain this step by step because   
you lost me.” Her head dropped into her hands and she mumbled something unintelligible then sprang to her feet and began pacing. 

“Okay. Fine. Where do you need me to start?” I wanted to ask about the me being a vessel thing but decided to go with figuring out how dad and Sam played into this. 

“How about the part where you were in on my dad signing away his soul to get me back and getting him in 'the hot seat'.” I used my fingers to imitate quotation marks on the last part. She stopped and looked at the ground then shot something off in another language that sounded angry. She ran her hand through her hair. 

“Shit. He never told you did he?” 

“He who? Never told me what?”

“Aw, fuck. You are so not going to like this.” I felt dark rage coil inside of me as I stood away from the car to my full height.

“I just found out that you have been working behind our backs against us for two years and change now. I already don't like this, so you'd better start making sense really fucking soon before I decide that talking is over rated!” She looked at me then nodded her head.

“Okay. But, um, could you just try not to tenderize my face until after I get it all out?” 

“I’m not making any promises.” The words came out a growl and she nodded again.

“Fair enough.”

“Start talking, Ruby. Now.”

“Alright! The first seal was prophesied to be broken when a righteous man shed blood in hell. So when John gave in to Azazel to save you we thought we had it but it became apparent to us that he wasn't going to break. We were willing to wait for him to give in but then when you boys popped the devils gate, John made a jail break and good ol' yellow-eyes got himself good and killed.” She looked pointedly at me when she said that. “We thought we were back to square one but then we realized the opportunity you had presented to us by making that deal with the crossroads demon to bring back Sam. That wasn't really big news until reports got back that Sam shot and killed Azazel's prize horse. Then we were all a-flutter with giddiness at our plan being back on the rails. We reworked it and that was when my role became apparent to you guys.”

“What do you mean 'became apparent'?” She looked at me like I was a nut.

“I was working behind the scenes the whole time dodo. Who do you think crashed that semi into your car in the first place?” I thought back for a second then felt hot everywhere.

“YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOTALED MY CAR!” She shrugged then waved it off nonchalantly.

“A minute detail.” I wanted to shoot her. I wanted to go around the car and grab my .45 out of the glove compartment and riddle her with more holes than any wheel of Swiss cheese could ever dream of having. I gritted my teeth. She was the reason dad had to make that deal, the reason everything had spiraled out of control so wildly.

“And I actually let you drive my car.” I turned around and patted my Impala apologetically. “I'm sorry, baby! I didn't know, I swear!”

“Everything I have told you so far and this is what you yell about?” Her voice was thick with incredulity. “Un-fucking-believable.” I ground my teeth and clenched my fists to fight the urge to hit her right then and there.

“She's more than a car, alright! That admission was almost a mortal offense.” Her eyebrows raised and a grin spread across her face, then she shook her head.

“If this is the worst reaction I get out of you today, I might have to drop a line to god.” That shocked me enough to realize there was more to come and I needed to hear the rest. I patted my baby once more then rested against her again.

“Continue.”

“Sam was looking for anything, anyway to save you, even if that meant resorting to a demon for help. My job was to insert myself into his life any way possible, protect him with my life and gain his trust. So I went over to the middle east and found an ancient Kurdish knife meant to kill demons to protect myself and Sam.”

“Why you?”

“Because I was working under the radar and had already been a part of the plan for so long at that point. The only one who knew about what I was doing was Lilith, Alastair was busy making a mess downstairs. It had to look like I had really rebelled so no one, especially demons, could know about me. If I had really rebelled and aligned myself with you two then I would be a liability because I simply know too much and am incredibly adept at gaining information if needed. Ergo, demons would keep attacking me in an attempt to eliminate a threat and keep you two suspicion free.”

“You put your own life on the line?” She nodded.

“I was tasked to do whatever it took to get the job done, and at the time I wanted nothing else but my vengeance against god...so, it seemed reasonable to me.”

“Okay. I understand why you would protect Sam but why me?” She squirmed a little and began pacing.

“Two reasons: 1. To keep Sam complacent. He had to believe you had that year and I needed all the time I could get to gain his trust, especially once I realized how truly jaded the two of you were. He wouldn't have been open to my help if something were to happen to you because then he'd have no need for me. 2. Saving your ass repeatedly actually got me in his good graces because there is nothing in this world he loves more than you. Bonus, it earned me more trust.”

“Wow. So, I was just a pawn you used to finagle your way closer to Sam?” Ruby actually winced then shrugged apologetically.

“You always were.” She paused and then said softly, “Until you went to hell.”

“What did that have to do with it?”

“Everything.” That one word seemed to hold a world of meaning and she began pacing back and forth, biting her lip and shaking her head.

“I am so sorry, Dean.” She shook her head and turned her back to me, facing the trees. I knew the story was about to take a really bad turn and tried to brace myself. 

“You going to hell was critical for two reasons. The first is that it got the Michael sword out of the way. Keeping Michael from obtaining his true vessel was guaranteed to weaken him, ensuring Lucifer's victory. But most importantly, the first seal was broken kick starting the beginning of the rise of Lucifer.”A feeling of dread set up shop in an icy pit in my stomach that seemed to be falling down, down, down, forever down. 

“What are you saying, Ruby?” She turned and faced me, arms hanging loosely by her sides, shoulders slumped, a look of pity and regret on her face. 

“You were the first seal.” She was saying something else. I could see her mouth moving but I no longer heard her words, just the thick, meaty bass of my heart beat flooding my ears. Sound slowly came back to me and I focused on her. She must have known that nothing was registering with me because she was silent and waiting calmly, patiently for me to react. I met her eyes, a silent plea for her to have been lying about the last five words I had heard.

“How?” Was the only word I managed to choke out. I watched her face grow pained. 

“When you stepped off the rack and took Alastair's place you shed blood as a righteous man in hell and thus the first seal was broken.” The ground seemed to move like the sea beneath me. I closed my eyes and I felt vertigo sweep over me and gravity began to take its course. Suddenly I crashed into a wall of flesh, fingers dug into my upper arms and I was lowered to my knees. I opened my eyes to see Ruby kneeling in front of me, holding me upright. I was the reason behind all of this. It was all because of me. Sam was in danger, Cass had died and everything was so complicated. All because of me. My mouth began to water and I felt that acidic tingle at the back of my throat that told me I was just this side of throwing up. 

“Easy, cowboy.” Ruby's voice cut through my haze and I focused on the burnt honey orbs inches in front of my face. I stared hard into her eyes as if I could find the answers to all my problems there. I felt her hand running up and down my spine and wanted to accept the comfort but then Sam's role in all of this popped into my head and I felt my spine straighten. Ruby's hand stopped it's soothing rhythm and I locked eyes with her.

“What does Sam have to do with all this?” My voice sounded hard and simultaneously hollow. I had definitely heard too much today. She stiffened and she moved her hands away from me, sat back and placed them in her lap. She looked resigned and again that feeling of dread set up shop in my stomach. I repeated my question and she sighed.

“I had to get him to start using his powers because he is the only one that can kill Lilith.”

“Yeah, that is what he wants to do, but what was your ulterior motive?” I watched her shoulders rise and her chest expand as she took a slow, incredibly deep inhale, hold it then push it out. I didn't mind the pause this time because it gave me some time to brace myself. Then her response came.

“He is supposed to break the last seal.”

“Not if he kills Lilith. That's the reason why he's going to kill her, to stop that.” I sounded confused and her eyes met mine, filled with sorrow and regret.

“No. I implanted that idea into his head to drive you both apart so he would listen to me more than you and to have more time to train him. Also, that is what we want him to do.”

“Why do you want him to kill one of your own? The first of you all? Isn't she like a mentor to ya'll?” Her mouth screwed up tight and wandered off to the left side, eyebrows furrowing, while she shook her head.

“Not exactly.” She paused and looked briefly at the ground before she stood up in front of me and offered me a hand up. I looked at her offered hand then put both palms against the ground and pushed off, coming to my feet. Her hand dropped back down against her thigh.

“Lilith is the last seal. She can only be killed by another demon, of equal or higher power. Sam is the one to kill her.” My jaw dropped.

“Sam isn't a demon though!” I leaned back against my impala. “He can't be.” I looked up at her and she looked like I imagined a parent did when they had to finally tell their child Santa Clause wasn't real. 

“He isn't exactly a demon but he was born to be Lucifer's true vessel and Azazel feeding Sam his blood as a baby was all it took to give him these abilities. Had he consumed more demon blood periodically throughout his childhood my role would be virtually irrelevant in all of this.” She paused then said, “Both of you were marked for greatness before you were even born. It was his destiny, we just twisted it a little.”

“So he needs demon blood to fuel these...abilities?” She shook her head.

“He never needed the feather to fly. He always had it in him. The blood was only to boost his abilities. Yes, there is power to be had from consuming the blood, since it did start all this but he gets stronger the more he practices.” She paused and looked guilty then continued. “He had to believe he was doing all this for the greater good. I feel like shit for my role in all of this. I wish I could take it all back. You two changed me so much, I don't know how or why but you did. I was nothing but a deceiver in all this and I can't ever apologize for it, but now I want to help you both.” 

I saw red. It was her fault dad had died. It was her fault Sam was going to die or...worse. I don't remember moving but I was moving toward her without conscious thought. She saw me coming and I watched her lifted and held her arms out to the sides as if welcoming me into a warm embrace. I laughed a bitter sound. Did she think I wanted affection from her. My fist slammed into her face and she staggered back but remained motionless, arms still out. I fell upon her punching her over and over in a blind rage. I stilled finally and saw her body lying underneath mine pliantly, arms resting on the ground beneath her. I was kneeling above her, fists red with her blood which ran in thick rivulets down her face. Her chest heaved and she stared at me. She had never once fought back or defended herself. I pushed myself to my feet slowly. I felt bruisingly exhausted as I walked back and sat on the hood of my car. I watched her roll over painfully and spew a mouthful of blood onto the ground then sit up with a groan, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. She spit out more blood.

“I know you don't want anything from me and you have no reason to trust me but please believe me when I tell you we have to keep Sam from killing Lilith.” I turned my head to glare at her and was about to open my mouth to spew something nasty but she beat me to the punch. “Not only will it kill him but it will kick-start the apocalypse and we can't allow either of those things to happen. They both must live!” I glared at her and I felt tears slip down my face.

“Cass gave up his life in exchange for yours.” My voice trembled with emotion barely contained. I sat forward and burned my hatred into her eyes. “YOU WEREN'T WORTH IT!” It came out as a guttural scream that burned along my throat on the way out with the force of it. She flinched and I saw tears slide down her cheeks before she could look down at the ground. My scream echoed in the small clearing, out over the water. Why would Cass trade his life for hers? He had to of known. Right? I let the tears slip down my face for a minute then angrily wiped them away.

“How did you keep Sam from figuring all this out?” Her voice was thick with tears when she responded.

“Lilith etched marks into my skull to protect my mind from external magics once we saw Sam developing telepathic abilities.” I smiled evilly.

“I hope she did it slowly and painfully the way I'm imagining.” My voice sounded nasty and malicious as hell and she flinched again. I sighed deeply. I couldn't believe I was about to do this.

“What is your plan to deter Sam from killing Lilith?” I knew he wouldn't believe the truth and if he did he might react adversely and do what we don't want him to in a state of rage. So many things could go wrong and he wasn't exactly the poster boy for stability, currently. So, despite all my instincts I was willing to work with Ruby to undo the intricate web she had woven around us. I kept telling myself I was doing it for the greater good. More was at stake here then my hurt feelings. Ruby was staring wide eyed at me and I didn't have the patience for this shit. 

“What-is-your-plan?” I asked again, slowly so maybe this time she would comprehend my question. She was silent for a second then wiped at her bloodied, teary face and cleared her throat. When she was done she looked me dead in the eye.

“You won't like it.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. It figures. Who would think I would like collaborating with a demon against my brother? Answer: the manipulative demon whore, Ruby.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- INTENSELY Graphic sexual content, Vulgar language...if you don't like this type of stuff you are a masochist for getting this far.

Sam's POV

 

Dean and Ruby had disappeared hours ago with the promise of bringing back food. The sun had risen, lit the world in hues of yellow and gold that caused crows feet and was now a more tolerable shade of deep orange. Shadows stretched in long lines across the clearing outside the window. I flinched remembering the long, hard, wooden handle of the shovel in my hands as I heaved dirt over one of our very few, treasured friends. I still had no idea why Castiel had traded his life for hers and I still wasn't sure how I felt about it all. How should one feel when they've lost a good friend to keep...a lover and confidant. I turned from the window and began walking toward the bathroom, pulling my shirt up and over my head, letting it fall to the floor. The shoes were the next thing I kicked off, then the pants. I froze in the doorway looking in the slightly cracked mirror, dusted with rust around the edges. 

My upper body was painted with bruises in varying hues of deep purple and blue, black in some places, and those sickening shades of green and yellow. Some bruises, the newer, darker ones had angry, red, welted cuts decorating them. My hair was a stringy, disheveled mess from the sex, fighting and make out session earlier with Ruby, in that order. I sneered at the image of myself. It was a wonder my clothes hadn't tried to crawl off my body to get away from me. I looked horrible, all disheveled, covered in dirt, sweat, blood, tears, beaten, bruised and rag tag as hell. 

I heaved a sigh then trudged into the bathroom, turning on the shower. The water was cold due to lack of electricity and ran a dark yellow, almost brown, the pipes rusted from years of disuse and there was no curtain to speak of but it was a shower nonetheless. I had forgotten my bathroom bag and walked back out into what once was a living room, grabbed it and my towel then returned to the bathroom. The water was still running a dull yellow so I laid my towel down on the lid to the toilet and sat, waiting, lost in the events of the past couple days. So much had happened, most of it consecutive. I felt the weariness of it all sing along my bones, sinking in to the marrow. When was it all going to be over? I had to kill Lilith, then maybe we could rest...if I wasn't some horrible monster or dead. I shook my head with a hollow laugh, either way it would all be over soon. The water was running clear now so I stepped into the tub, hissing as the freezing water slid down my spine. My body broke out in chills as the water cascaded over my head, face, chest, hips, thighs. I had a second to think I would just wash really quick then pile on some clothes, then the thought faded. The cool chill of the water felt great against my skin now that the initial shock was over and I found myself just standing beneath the spray allowing the cool fingers of the water to wash away reality, my mind going blank. I finally began washing my hair, then my body, but it was a mechanical process, done while basking in the cold water along my flesh. I finally finished and was clothed, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly into space calmly, relaxed and waiting for Ruby and Dean to return.

 

··········   
Ruby's POV

 

We had just pulled down the little dirt lane leading us toward the cabin and Dean was still fuming.

“Why can't we just tell Sam the wrong time and date for the last seal? I don't understand.” I sighed.

“Stop the car.” He looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

“Why?”

“Stop the damned car!” He turned his head to look at me this time but swerved the wheel to the left viciously flinging me against the door. He so had done that on purpose. I glared at him in the silence.

“We have to straighten a few things out before we go back there.”

“Like what.” His voice sounded nasty, he had his hands clenched so tightly around the wheel his knuckles were bone white and the fluttering in his jaw told me he was grinding his teeth.

“Well for example, unlike me you don't have any protection against Sam's telepathy and I told you a shit tone of stuff today. So, you are going to have to keep your mind off of it all, somehow.”

“Oh yeah? How the hell do you expect me to do that? It's not like I can just shut my damned brain off. I wish I could, but I can't!” I sighed.

“We can't let Sam kill Lilith, Dean.”

“I know!” He was getting pissed so his voice was steadily getting higher.

“So we have to do this.”

“WHY? Why can't we do it my way?”

“Because you, nimrod, the last seal can only be broken on the seventh day of the seventh month when the moons and planets align and there is a night within a day. This has only happened once since Lucifer was imprisoned. And guess what? This is scheduled to happen four days from now.” He shrugged and looked at me.

“So what? Why does that mean we can't tell him different? He doesn't know. Does he?” I shook my head and heaved a sigh.

“Not to my knowledge but the last time everything aligned there was no one strong enough to kill Lilith so it just passed by. I doubt she will let that happen again.” I looked at him, “Even if we tell Sam the wrong date there is no guarantee it will stop Lilith. We have to do this.” It occurred to me that Dean would have to join him to keep the whole thing fool proof but I kept that part to myself for now. He sighed then rested his head on the wheel.

“I see your point.” He sounded defeated and sat there for a few minutes in silence. “I'm not sure I can do this, Ruby.” He lifted his head and looked right into my eyes. “I know I won't be able to keep this off my mind. He is going to find out.” I stared back and remembered a binding spell that I hadn't had reason to use for a while now.

“I know you are getting tired of hearing this but I know a way to temporarily block your mind off to external forces. Nothing like what Lilith did to me but it might work, and you won't like it.” He never blinked.

“Let me guess, it has to do with witch craft.” It was more statement than question and I just nodded. He stared unflinchingly at me with a small furrow between his brow for a minute then asked, “It's to help Sam?” 

“Yes. But understand it does entail a very, very...physical aspect.” He raised his eyebrow. “Oh come on. We are going to get a whole lot more physical before this is over.” His other eyebrow raised and I couldn't help but laugh. Silence fell between us while he stared a hole through me with a very speculative, contemplative look.

“Do it.” He finally said. I must have made some kind of movement because he held his hand up. “Understand that I do not trust you and I am doing this purely because I need to save Sam.” I nodded with a smile on my face.

“I understand and I can promise you, you won't hate this as much as you think.” He scoffed and looked out over the dashboard. I let him sit for a minute.

“Are you ready?” He just breathed for a moment then nodded.

“As ready as I'll ever be.” I smiled and then I covered the small gap between us and kicked my leg over him so that I was straddling his hips. His eyes bugged out as they met mine.

“What are you doing?” I chuckled.

“Killing two birds with one stone.” He looked confused. “I told you the spell requires a rather physical aspect.” In truth it didn't require this much physical contact but I was going to get him to a point where my plan could unfold without a hitch and if it required this, well...lets just say, I'd done worse. He shook his head.

“I don't know if I can do this after-” I placed one finger upon his lips and shushed him.

“Think of nothing more than the physical aspect of it. Don't think of me.” My next words surprised me. “Think of Sam if you must.” It didn't even bother me to say that to him. Huh. Look at me, sharing and shit. I really was going human. His eyes met mine, most of the discomfort was gone so bringing Sam up was a good idea after all.

“That's better.” 

I leaned into him, sliding my hands up his arms then massaging his shoulders. His eyes never left mine. I smiled then dipped my head down and ran the tip of my nose up his neck. I felt his breathing increase and tension sing through his arms which were still at his sides. I slid my hand along the back of his neck and into the hair at the base of his skull, running my tongue down his neck from the hollow under his ear lobe to the pulse racing in his throat. I locked my lips around this and heard his breathing hitch. I ran my tongue in circles and swirls then gently bit down on that candy sweet pulse under my tongue. 

His head dropped back against the head rest as he sighed. I pulled back and his eyes met mine. I felt my lips curl into that seductive smile I was so familiar with, seeing his eyes half hooded. I slid my other hand up to his neck then gently dragged my nails over the thin T-shirt covering his chest and all the way down his stomach, feeling the dips and dives of his abs beneath my fingers. His eyes closed and a he inhaled sharply when my nails bit into the flesh of his hips. I felt his cock stiffening beneath me. I trailed my nails back up his upper body as I leaned in and nibbled at the flesh covering his collarbone. I felt his arms move and a second later his hands were resting gingerly against my hips. I placed soft kisses along his neck then nibbled along the edge of his jaw. He groaned a little and I wanted to hear him cry out. I struck, sinking my teeth into the flesh at the junction of neck and shoulder, my favorite spot. His resolve splintered and he moaned, fingers digging into my hips. He arched his body against mine as I gently sucked and clamped my teeth down a bit more. I laughed and it was seductively deep against his throat. He gasped and his hands kneaded their way up to my lower back. I ground my hips against his now very hard cock and he cried out. I felt myself getting wet from all this foreplay. What was it about these boys that just drove me wild? I slid my hand into his hair, dragging my nails along his scalp before clenching my fist and yanking his head back, almost painfully to expose his neck in a long line. He cried out and his hips moved against me.

“You might not like it but from this point forward, whatever I do you must go with it. Whatever I tell you to do, do it.” He was panting and tried to nod his head. I ran my tongue along his throat then pulled his ear lobe between my teeth and sucked gently on it. He groaned.

“Understand?” Again he tried to nod but when he realized that wasn't going to happen I watched his throat convulse as he swallowed a few times.

“Yes.” His voice was throaty and a shiver ran down my spine hearing it. 

The taste of his skin was at the back of my throat, salty with sweat and kind of chalky with plaster but underneath it all was a taste similar to that of butterscotch with a hint of cinnamon. I liked it. I liked it a lot. I must have paused for too long because Dean growled beneath me and pulled ferociously against my hold on his hair, moaning. I let go and his lips met mine. His lips were soft, so soft, but the vigor behind the kiss made it intense. His tongue was silky smooth against mine and as talented as his brothers. Damn! Both of these boys could rock a girls world with a kiss. I almost lost myself to the physicality of it all, barely remembering why we were doing this. I pulled back with a deep gasp. Dean's body arched into mine head falling back, lips ripe with our kiss and open, moaning. I realized both of our bodies were moving against one another as if we were naked and joined together. I wasn't sure when that had happened but my body was on fire and I wanted to peel the clothes off his body with my teeth and take him. I let my head fall back and a moan broke free. He wrapped his arms around my waist and he pulled me against him his face between my breasts. Both of my hands found their way into his hair as he nuzzled me.

“Oh god!” He cried, his hands sliding up my back, under my mass of curls where he wrapped them around his hand. I felt his tongue along my neck and I shuddered. I needed to do what had to be done before we were both lost. He echoed my thought a second later. 

“Ruby! Do what you need to do!” His voice was husky against my neck and I moaned.

“Bite me.” He growled and complied, biting into the sweet spot on my neck, hard. I moaned loudly.

“Harder.” 

He did and I felt a fine vibration sing through my body. I ground my hips against his and he growled against my throat. Damn! I wanted him. I summoned up the magic needed for the spell and felt a fresh wave of desire crash through me. He must have felt it too because he moaned loudly, moved against me with more vigor and bit me harder. Just a little more. I just needed a little more. He had to take a piece of me into his body for the spell to work. I raked my nails down his back, simultaneously summoning the rest of the power needed for the spell, mumbling the Sumerian binding words. The magic surged over the both of us and Dean reared back, head slamming into the head rest, crying out. I was lost for a minute to the warm tingling magic as it worked its way through my body, spreading outward from my chest, down into my stomach and thighs, up into my head. When it speared between my thighs I cried out and heard Dean do the same. I felt our bodies meld together as if the barrier of our bodies didn't exist. The raw essence of the two of us swirled and moved against the other. I felt his lungs expand, the thick, meaty, rapid base of his heart throb as if they were my own. I felt the magic concentrate between my thighs and his sending waves of pleasure through us similar to the feeling of an orgasm. He cried out my name and I knew we were both on the edge of climax. I had to avert the magic from this. It would be bad if the spell completed like that. It was concentrating where we wanted each other the most. I had to struggle against the tide of the power. It was like redirecting a dam with a wall of twigs. I focused and strengthened that wall, redirecting it so that it was surging in our heads, where I wanted it to be. It still felt so good.

“Now, Dean. Bite me now!” 

He moaned and I felt his teeth strike me, breaking smoothly through the flesh. Egged on by the magic, he did exactly what he needed to do without instruction. I cried out and I felt my body convulse against his as the magic sealed us together. I felt his throat seize as he pulled mouthful after mouthful of my blood down his throat. A powerful wave of pleasure swept through us and Dean's mouth left my throat as we both screamed. Our bodies convulsed against each other as our minds melded and we climaxed simultaneously. Memory after memory crashed into me. I saw Dean grow up, watched him love and lose, get hurt and heal. I saw every memory he had of Sam, felt his love for him and I knew in that moment that he and Sam weren't really brothers. I relived his time in hell, all his heart aches and fell in love with the beauty of the small happiness's that glowed like beacons in his memories. I forced myself to focus on what I really wanted to share with him, the power of the etchings on my skull. It felt as if someone had wrapped saran wrap around my brain and his, joining them together by a thin film. It was the oddest sensation. Then we both, quite literally, snapped back into our own bodies as if being slammed against a fleshy wall with hurricane force. 

We both fell back, weak from what we had just experienced, panting. I felt Dean's fingers wrap around my upper arm and was expecting him to shove me away but instead he pulled me against him where I fell bonelessly onto his chest. He must have sensed my confusion.

“You...were...laying on...the horn.” He said between breaths. I laughed against his chest. We both sat there in silence for a while. His hand began moving up and down my back in a soothing, absent-minded rhythm. Finally he broke the silence.

“Did it work?” I thought about it for a minute then shrugged.

“Hopefully.”

“What do you mean, hopefully?” I shrugged again. Shrugging was a good sign. It meant I was regaining myself.

“I mean there is no way for me to test it. So...hopefully.” He sighed.

“Awesome.” I gathered my strength and sat back to stare at him.

“Did it feel like it worked to you?” He stared at me through hooded eyes in silence and contemplation for a few moments.

“Yeah. Yeah it did.” He was silent for a minute then I felt his fingertips brush against my cheek bone.

“You're healed. How is that possible?” I remembered him kicking my ass earlier and smiled.

“Using as much magic as I did usually does heal.” I shrugged. “It is part of what makes it wonderful.” I looked down at our laps. There was a massive cum stain on his jeans and I was happy my jeans were a deep blue so it was harder to see the wet spot on them. I looked back up and saw him still staring at me. I looked back down because of the look on his face.

“I'm sorry.” He didn't say what for so it could have been for anything, but I was pretty sure I knew what it was for. I shrugged.

“It doesn't matter. I got what I deserved when you look at the long run of shit I have done to others.” He sat forward and pulled me into his arms, one hand resting on my lower back while the other ran gently up and down my back. Normally I would have pulled away in anger. Now, I lay my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, soaking it up. 

“I was in your head, Ruby. I felt what you did.” He was silent then continued. “I know every dark thing you've done.”

“Then you know that no matter how many good deeds I do, I can never make up for them all.”

“Not even if you help save the world?” I thought about it then shook my head. 

“I don't know. I don't think it will make a difference even then.” He pushed me back, hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes.

“I know now that you truly do love Sam.”

“Ditto.” A small smile rested at the edge of his lips.

“And I know why he loves you.” I startled and he felt it, staring into my eyes. His eyes seemed to tell me not to deny it and I wanted to because I was no good for Sam or Dean just like I was no good for Castiel, but I wanted so badly to believe him. I wanted more than anything to hear Sam say those words to me. I felt tears form in my eyes and then I felt Dean lean into me as he wiped under my eyes. He moved his head until he could see my eyes.

“I know why you did what you did.” I sighed in relief a second before I felt his lips against mine. It was a soft, chaste kiss and when he pulled back he captured my eyes again.

“Just because I know why you did it, doesn't mean I can forgive you for all of it.” I looked down and nodded. I knew he wouldn't ever be able to forgive me for my role in his father's death or his time in hell, but especially for Sam's role in all of this.

“And I still kind of want to shoot you for what you did to my baby.” I laughed as he reached past me to pat the steering wheel. He smiled. “But now I don't hate you nearly as much as I did before which is a bonus, I guess.” We both laughed and I surprised myself by hugging him. His arms immediately wrapped around me and it suddenly struck me how intimate this moment was. I pulled back and cleared my throat. Dean echoed me.

“Now get off me so I can clean up this mess and we can go eat and shower among...other things.” I laughed again at the hint of excitement in his voice before then laughed harder when he looked sullenly down at his soiled jeans. I slid off his lap back into the passenger seat and instantly felt about ten degrees cooler and less comfortable. I saw him blink a few times rapidly and take a deep breath. I wondered if he had felt it too before I shoved it from my thoughts.

 

··········  
Sam's POV

 

I heard the rumble of the engine and sat up from where I had laid down across the bed. They were finally back. I heard them both laughing and talking to each other as they came through the door.

“Fuck.” Dean cursed. I heard a small scuffle and Ruby laugh. I walked over and stood in the doorway watching the two of them juggle groceries over to a fairly clean spot on the floor where they put it all out. Ruby was the one who saw me first. She smiled brilliantly.

“Hungry? We got enough food to feed a small army.” 

“Yeah. I think if we'd have bought another cart full they would have offered us a stock in the damned store.” He looked over at me. “What is it with women and shopping. Human, angel, demon...it doesn't seem to matter. It has to be something encoded in the chromosomes.” Ruby smacked Dean's arm.

“Ow!” He feigned injury and rubbed at where she had smacked him. She scoffed, rolling her eyes then tossed him the keys to his impala over her shoulder as she moved toward the bathroom.

“Fine. You want to make sexist remarks you can do what men do and schlepp the rest of the groceries inside. I'm going to take a shower.” Dean sputtered and looked at me for help while gesturing to her. I found myself grinning at their little banter and raised my hands.

“Hey man don't look at me. You made your bed, now lie in it.” 

He scoffed and glared at me. Ruby walked out of the bathroom in her bra and jeans, having ditched her shoes and shirt and walked over to where our bags were. She grabbed Dean's and pulled out his bathroom bag. She stood up and grinned at him then winked and disappeared back into the bathroom. He sputtered some more then looked at a loss for words and made a shoving away gesture toward the bathroom and walked back out to the car, mumbling to himself about women. I laughed. They seemed to be getting along nicely. I heard the water come on and then Ruby walked back out, this time in just her underwear. I felt my cock start to stiffen as she walked over to the bags and began shuffling through them. She found what she was looking for and turned to go back to the bathroom but stopped, offering me a devious smile like she knew what she was doing to me and half jogged back into the bathroom. I started to follow her but redirected toward the food. My stomach growled viciously as I saw the platter of pre-made sandwiches.

“There are chips too.” Dean said as he struggled through the door with another shit load of groceries.

“Damn. You guys sure went all out, huh.”

“I told you!” 

Another two trips later, two showers and about an hour of stuffing our faces and bullshitting we were all laying on the bed stuffed and sated. The platter of sandwiches was all but gone with only four remaining. The bag of chips was empty as was four cans of soda, two chugged by Dean, and six bottles of water. Ruby got up and closed the remaining sandwiches taking them back out and coming back with three fresh bottles of water. I cracked mine and drank about half in one shot. Ruby flopped down at the foot of the bed sighing in relief.

“I was so hungry!” She said, laughing.

“Yeah, those five sandwiches and third of the bag of chips you ate didn't stand a chance!” Dean said.

She weakly smacked him and laughed. It was dusk outside so it was getting dark inside the cabin. I suddenly had to use the bathroom. I got up and left the room to those two laughing. When I came back in they were both stretched out with a small space between them. Both of them were on their backs with the opposite legs bent. Ruby had one arm slung over her eyes and the other resting across her stomach. Dean had one arm behind his head, the other up in the air bopping to a tune in his head. I smiled a little and they simultaneously looked up at me. A flirtatious grin spread across Ruby's face and she patted the bed between them. My heart beat picked up and I began moving toward them automatically. I was moving across the bed before I began to wonder what was going on. I laid down on my stomach and they both rolled onto their sides to face me. 

“Okay. What is going on? You guys went out to get groceries and disappeared for most of the day. Where were you? And don't say you were shopping.” I wasn't stupid and I could sense something was up. Ruby was the one who spoke.

“Dean and I stopped to talk on the way back.” I looked over at Dean who looked shocked that she was the one saying it. “We argued for a while because I tried to convince him why we had to allow you to kill Lilith.” She paused and looked down at the bed, tracing little patterns. “Even-” She paused and swallowed a few times then continued. “Even if that means losing you.” She paused again. “He didn't like that very much-”

“I still don't!” he sounded mad but resigned on the subject.

“We got into a scuffle and worked things out. He saw reason and agreed.” I stared back and forth between the two of them. Dean was glaring at her and she was staring down at the bed solemnly. 

“And that is what took all day?” She laughed then rolled onto her back.

“You wouldn't believe how long it took me to get him to hear me out.” I laughed and nodded.

“I can believe it.” Dean had a hard time seeing anyone other than himself as right. He looked at me and rolled his eyes. I remembered the cordial, friendly banter they had been exchanging the whole time they had been back.

“You guys are awfully chummy now.” I sounded suspicious and had a right to. I had been hunting with dad and Dean my whole life. I knew just how much Dean hated and distrusted demons, and Ruby had never been an exception. 

“Well...” Dean started but faltered off. They exchanged a look and Ruby picked up.

“We also talked about something else.” She actually looked shy. I had never seen her look like this before and I felt my eyebrows raise so high it was a wonder they didn't brush my hairline. 

“And that would be?” Again I sounded suspicious.

“We talked for a while about it and Dean was actually the one who posed the question.” She was beating around the bush and I was starting to get irritated. 

“Stop being coy, Ruby.” She glanced up at me then back down. Dean stood up and walked out of the room and came back a few seconds later but I was staring at Ruby, waiting for an answer. I heard the flick of a lighter proceeded by a flickering light that got brighter. I looked over my shoulder to see Dean placing a rather large candle on the windowsill then walking around the bed and placing two more, one in both the corners. The room flickered with candle light.

“Well we both agreed that for once we could put aside our differences to give you one last gift.” Her eyes met mine now and they were shiny with tears. “Any day now could be our last day. Just once I'd like you to know what its like to not be torn between your two lovers.” I thought my eyes were going to fall out of my head they were so wide. Was she talking about a threesome? Dean laid back down on the bed next to me and I looked at him in shock.

“You both agreed on this?” I sounded as incredulous as I felt. They both nodded.

“Whoa...” I moved so that I was sitting on my knees, looking at them both. 

Ruby had bought and was wearing a deep green camisole tank top and short black jogging shorts that hugged her curves and looked amazing against all that pale flesh, her curls falling around her. Dean was wearing a loose pair of pajama bottoms, tied low on his hips and nothing else, hair tousled from running his fingers through it. They both looked amazing and I felt my cock stiffening just knowing I could have them both if I wanted. I looked at Dean.

“You?” I pointed at him “You who was disgusted at me sleeping with Ruby not too long ago, you are willing to do this?” 

He smiled a smile that stopped my heart and had it beating overtime to make up for the lost beats then got on his knees, crawling across the short distance to Ruby. I watched him prop himself above her, hips pushing between her legs, shoving them wider then lean down, kissing the cleavage left exposed by her tank top. He ran his nose up over her collarbone and kissed the pulse in her neck before gently biting. She moaned softly and ran one hand up his back, the other along his outer thigh. His mouth found hers and I watched his body move in waves on top of her, her body undulating beneath him, their tongues dancing in time with their bodies. I bit my lip and had to brace myself on the bed, getting light headed from how fast the erection sprung up between my hips. 

“Oh god.” I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. Was this really happening? I opened my eyes to see Ruby kneeling in front of me only a few inches away. I looked around for Dean and felt his fingers ghost down my spine, starting at the shoulders and ending at my lower back. Chills broke out over my body.

“You are sure, Dean? You don't mind having one and a half demons in your bed? Because I'm not wholly human either.” I heard him chuckle deeply, a sound I'd never heard before and a shiver ran down my spine a second before I felt his hands on my hips pulling my back to his front. I felt his erection against my ass and I moaned. 

“Tonight this is all about you, baby.” He whispered into my ear before pulling my ear lobe into his mouth rolling his tongue over and around it.   
I was wearing the pajama bottoms Ruby had bought me and that was it, just like Dean. I felt Ruby's deft fingers untie my pants so they hung loosely and run her hands over my chest while I felt Dean's mouth at my neck, tracing teasing lines with his tongue. Ruby's mouth was working at my chest and I felt her nails gently work down my ribs and over my hip bones. Ruby's mouth worked its way down to my hip bones and I cried out as both her and Dean bit down at once, her on my hip, him on the flesh between neck and shoulder. I felt my hips jack forward and they both laughed. Deans hands were the ones that wrapped around me and worked my pajama bottoms down, springing my erection free. I cried out at the hot, slickness that immediately enveloped me. I looked down to see Ruby working me over with her mouth until Dean slid his hand into my hair and twisted my head around so he could claim my lips. I moaned at the softness of his lips and the slickness of his tongue against mine. 

Suddenly, Ruby stopped and Dean was gone. I felt the bed move and when I opened my eyes Dean was in front of me on his knees. His pants were gone and When ruby moved up next to him she too was naked. I tried to remember when that had happened and totally blanked. I must be really out of it. I watched Dean look at her then pull her flush to him running his hand up between her breasts then her neck, pushing her head back, sliding his hand into her hair, wrapping a handful around his fist and pulling on her hair until her whole upper body was arched away, hair falling to the bed like a waterfall of curls, breasts heaving with her rapid breaths. Dean claimed her right nipple with his mouth and she moaned, sinking her fingers into his hair. My erection bobbed fiercely between my legs. They both turned to me as if they had the same idea. Dean grabbed my hand and pulled me to the edge of the bed with him. I looked over at Ruby Who was sitting back on her knees with a wicked smile on her face, watching the both of us. She ran her hands down her body, traveling over her breasts, stomach and inner thighs. I moved hand in hand with Dean, wondering why we left the bed, eyes never moving off her. I wanted to go back and bury my face between her thighs until she screamed for me. 

She laughed that deep, sexy laugh, the one that turns heads in a bar and languidly rose onto just her knees, popping the lower half of her legs off the bed then leaning forward on her hands. She dipped her chest down toward the bed first and then the rest of her body followed in a seductive wave until she was laying stretched out on her stomach, feet in the air looking sexy and simultaneously demure. She definitely had my attention. We had stopped moving and I briefly glanced at Dean before looking back at Ruby. I watched Dean turn around and face the bed as if to find out what was distracting me. Ruby smiled wickedly before unfolding her legs, stretching her arms above her head and burying her face in the bed, pushing just her ass into the air so that he back was arched. Then in one languid movement she flattened out and rolled so that she was on her back, her hair splayed out beneath her. She ran her hands up her sides and neck into her hair, then back down her throat and over her breasts where she briefly cupped them, pinching her nipples between her fingers. She sighed and pulled her legs up so the flats of her feet were on the bed, spreading her legs slowly. She moved her head back so that she was looking at me as her hands continued their journey across her stomach, dragging her nails over her hip bones, her eyes slid closed and her lips parted as her hands dipped down between her legs then traveled up the inside of her thighs, parting them until the outside of her legs rested on the bed. I glanced over at Dean to see he too was watching. I looked down his body and smiled at his gently bobbing cock. She did look spectacular. I looked back and marveled at her sexy confidence and prowess, the way the moon spilled in through the window across the bed illuminating parts of her skin like it was lit from the inside, contrasting with the dancing, red-orange of the candle-light that cast parts of all that creamy flesh in shadow, the fire light kissing and caressing her curves. I made some kind of sound in the back of my throat when she arched up off the bed, her fingers finally finding their way to the spot I wanted to claim with my tongue. I heard a similar sound from Dean a second before I heard a soft thud and felt my cock enveloped in the silky warmth of his mouth.

I cried out and had to lean forward and brace myself on the bed. I looked down my body at Dean's soft blonde hair, his head bobbing. I watched my cock disappear into his mouth and I thought my knees were going to give out right there. I closed my eyes, feeling his tongue swirl around me, his soft lips sliding slowly along the length of my cock from tip, almost to the base. I had to focus to keep my shaking legs steady enough to hold me up off the floor. I felt that sweet, heavy sensation begin to build in my stomach and I called out Dean's name. He needed to stop. I thrust my hand into his hair and closed my hand in it, trying to pull him back, to stop him but he growled around my cock and swallowed it as far as he could go, which was all but a mere inch. I felt my eyes roll back in my head, a strangled noise rose from my throat and my knees chose just then to give out. 

I felt myself falling and was cushioned by what felt like a wall of soft flesh behind me. Dean did something indescribable with his mouth and my orgasm came like a switch had been flipped. It crashed through my body, kicking my head back on my spine, my back arching, my hand in Dean's hair clenching. I cried out the pleasure of my release in guttural, throaty screams, the force of the orgasm rocking through my body in waves. I could feel every muscle clenching, my cock convulsing in Dean's mouth, shooting powerful streams down his throat. The orgasm lasted so long I fought against the convulsions to look down at what Dean was doing to me. His eyes were rolled up so that he was looking at me, his lips wrapped around me, my cock buried deep in his mouth, his throat clenching around me. My body convulsed so hard at the sight of him I thought my spine might break. I swear I saw stars right before my body finally went jelly on me. I panted hard. It felt like there wasn't enough air in this room. It took a few minutes before I realized I was on the floor, upper body laying against Ruby, who was running her fingers through my hair. I looked down to see Dean laying against my lower half, chin propped up on his arms which were folded across my lower stomach. I felt something like an electric shock zip through me and, impossibly, I felt my cock begin to stiffen again. He must have felt it because he laughed a deep, sexy as hell rumble. I wanted to take him, now. 

“Let me help.” Ruby said before lowering me to the floor. 

I immediately propped myself up up one elbow to watch what she was about to do. Dean smiled devilishly and nodded at her, popping up off of me, turning around and leaning down, reaching under the bed. I hissed at the sight of his ass in the air and felt my cock kick repeatedly. Dean handed a tube to Ruby who turned to me, popping it open and squeezing a generous amount of a clear gel into her palm, rubbing her hands together, letting the tube fall to the floor. She wrapped both her hands around me and I felt my eyes close. Her hands were so slick and warm. I forced my eyes open to see her watching me with that smile, hands working the clear gel over me. When she finished she turned to Dean. She motioned for him to move and he complied so I could now see him from the side. She got behind him and slapped his ass, getting a hiss from him before sliding her hand up and over his butt, up his spine. 

She pushed his chest down onto the floor with a hand between his shoulder blades. I moaned seeing him like that: firm, round ass up in the air, the muscles in his thighs taught, his deliciously muscled upper body arched into the floor. Dean turned his face toward me. I watched Ruby squeeze an adamant amount of what I now knew was lube directly between Dean's ass cheeks. She must have done this before. I watched her seductively smooth the lube over his opening. Dean's eyes closed and he seemed to be enjoying what she was doing. I looked back at what she was doing and found myself moving closer to them to get a better view. She squeezed more lube onto her hands and rubbed them together, coating her fingers and hand. I watched her begin to push a finger into him. She worked him over, very gently, her finger entering him so very slowly I couldn't discern the intervals at which she was pushing inside of him. It was like trying to watch a flower bloom, you didn't actually see it happening but it was always fuller the next time you looked at it. She switched fingers and repeated the process over and over until every finger on her hand had been in him. She applied a little more lube and slid the entirety of her finger into him in one shot. Dean moaned and I watched his back dip. She did something with her finger because he cried out and I watched his hands scrabble at the floor.

“More. Please! More!” Dean was panting and Ruby smiled then complied. I watched her slide her finger out. She looked at me while she slid two fingers into him. He cried out again and I watched the muscles along her arm flutter. Whatever she was doing to him he was loving it. He moaned for her and began to move against her, without hesitation she pushed another finger inside him. Dean let out a strangled sound and I watched his movements still, his face scrunched up a little then she did something and his head kicked back, his hands clawing at the floor.

“God!” He shouted. 

I saw his erection kicking ferociously. He began to move against her again and she smiled getting him to cry out one more time before pulling back from him completely. He whimpered a little and she smacked his ass again before moving her hand in a sweeping motion towards Dean while looking at me. I was suddenly behind Dean and didn't remember moving. I felt Ruby's fingers on my hips, slick with lube.

“Slow and easy. You are bigger than fingers. You don't want to hurt him.” 

I felt a dark twinge of something shoot through me. I kind of did want to hurt him. I clamped down on that urge. Ruby wrapped her fingers around my cock and I felt her guiding me toward him.

“Start with just the head.” She placed me against his opening and then her touch disappeared. I began to gently push my way into him. The head popped easily into him from Ruby working him over, lubing and loosening him up. He moaned but remained completely still. I worked just the tip of me in and out of him until he pushed back onto me a little and I understood he was ready for more. I began doing what Ruby had done with her fingers, pushing in little at a time. By the time I was half way in I thought I was going to die. He was so tight. Dean cried out for me and I felt a hand on my thigh, fingers digging in. I looked down to see he was up on his hands now, one arm reaching back to grab my thigh. His head was back and I wanted to grab a handful of his hair and thrust into him. 

“More, Sam.” His voice was breathy with need. 

I gently pushed in more and he made a small noise that sounded like frustration before he thrust back against me. He cried out loudly and I jumped, pulling out, sure I had hurt him.

“No. No, no, no, no, no.” He panted, shaking his head.

“Did I hurt you?” He shook his head violently. 

“Please!” His voice was thick with need.

I pushed a little back into him, watching Ruby crouch in front of Dean and whisper to him.

“Yes!” He cried out and I paused while Ruby laughed. I wanted to know what she had said to him. 

She moved back behind me and put her arms on either side of me, reaching past me so that her hands were on Dean's hips, fingers digging in and holding firmly. I felt her flatten herself behind me. I had a second to wonder what she was doing and then she shoved forward with her hips and pulled Dean back onto me so that I slammed into him. He screamed and threw his head back. I tried to pull out but Ruby held on tight.

“No. Stay.” I was about to protest but then I heard Dean. He was moaning over and over, loudly. Ruby's touch was no longer there.

“Fuck him, Sam.” She said in my ear, then she was gone.

I looked at her as she moved back up in front of Dean. She nodded at me over top his body and I moaned. I grabbed a handful of Dean's hair and thrust into him. He moaned my name and began to push back against me with every thrust. I released his hair and put both hands on his hips, finding that rhythm that fluctuates from shallow to deep. Dean's body bowed and he shoved back onto me then screamed a few seconds later, body convulsing. I knew he was coming, shooting hot jets of liquid all over the floor. I felt a fine quivering along the muscles of his legs. My skin was slick with sweat as I concentrated hard not to come. I thrust into him and leaned forward, wrapping my fingers around his cock. He cried out, back dipping down as he moved against me Head falling down between his shoulder blades. I stroked him as I thrust into him. I was so close to coming. Ruby moaned and both Dean and I looked up to see her sitting in front of us legs spread wide, one arm behind her bracing her on the floor, the other hand buried between her thighs. Her body quaked, thighs and breasts trembling with the force of her orgasm, head thrown back as she cried out. Just then Dean and I screamed together as we came, our bodies quaking together. I felt the hot jets of my come fill him up. Dean's muscles seemed to stop working because his arms fell out from under him, his chest and face resting on the floor, only my grip on his hips kept the rest of his body up. I was blinded with pleasure, loving every second of what passed between us. When I came back to myself I was laying on the floor next to Dean, panting. Every muscle in my body felt liquified, including my lungs because I fought for each lungful of air. 

“Damn!” Dean panted out. 

I could only raise my eyebrow in agreement and we all busted out laughing. And then reality faded into a thick, ink black darkness and I had a moment to recognize something unnatural was going on. Something wasn't right. I tried to fight the darkness but my body and mind was sucked down into a dark place of utter comfort and I fell into the sleep of the dead.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- This chapter contains a new POV. I'm just going to get right to it. You all know whats up by now, Enjoy and please, R&R!
> 
> Disclaimer- Intensely graphic violence and Vulgar language

Bobby's POV

 

“Shut that damned alarm off, Ash!” Ellen yelled over the noise. 

I flinched as the bomb rigged to the window behind me exploded, dropping to the floor. I hissed feeling the brief, sharp, hot pain of a couple of nails, or maybe some glass embedding themselves into my flesh. Damned nail bombs! I rolled over right as a shadow fell over me. Before my attacker could grab me the boom of a shotgun sounded and the man's chest was shredded. I got a brief glimpse of the blood-stained pearl of bone and glistening, meat before he fell backwards, dead. I looked up as Rufus pumped another round and fired at the window, killing another man. 

“Well? You gonna pick your sorry ass up and grab a gun or just lay there while I have all the fun, Singer?” I smiled and hauled myself to my feet. 

I heard a crash behind me and looked back to see a big burly mother being thrown head first through the door frame leading into the kitchen leaving a splintered half-circle in the wood. Ruby was defending the kitchen, probably because that was where the door to the basement was. I watched her make quick work of four humans who had crawled through the window above my sink, one through the window on the far wall and two through the door. She moved impossibly fast, the sword in her hand nothing but a gleam of metal as she moved, dipping and dodging while slicing off body parts. Multiple explosions sounded from the other side of the house and Ellen and Jo stood back to back, ready for anything. Ash stood with his back to the corner, two, Browning high power handguns in his palms. The man was all brains, little brawn. Rufus kept a steady eye on the window, blasting people out before they could come in, I did the same on my side while Ellen and Jo covered the slew of intruders rushing down the hallway. A scream sounded and when I looked behind me I saw Jo go down, a human woman the size of a line backer, riding her to the ground. The knife she held was arcing downwards fast, Ellen's scream rang through the house. Her gun clicked, empty, as she tried to shoot the woman about to stab Jo and I knew mine was empty. None of us were going to make it in time. We were about to watch Jo die. 

Out of nowhere appeared Ruby, catching the woman's arm mid swing, yanking her off Jo, slamming her to the ground face first where she slammed her foot down between the woman's head and shoulder pushing into her neck and wrenched her arm. The woman's arm and neck broke with two viscous snapping noises that sounded so close together it was almost one loud crunch and the woman was dead. It was over so fast the poor woman hadn't even had time to scream. I watched Ruby whirl and flip another attacker over her shoulder, onto their back on the floor, plunging her knife through their throat, then she moved on, a whirlwind of fury. I turned around and slammed the butt of my shotgun into the face of a man running at me, pulling it back against me to reload. Three men were piling through the window, one pointed a gun at me before he was fully through the window and I aimed the shotgun, firing before I had a chance to secure it against my shoulder. I jerked back a step and heard a small crack as the butt recoiled into my collarbone.

“Balls!” I grumbled with an edge of pain, realizing I had just broken my collarbone. 

A lot of commotion sounded behind me and I spared a glance to see Ellen fall to the ground under the weight of five attackers, Jo went down only a few seconds later. I heard a shout from Rufus and knew he too had gone down. Then I realized I no longer heard any more gun fire so Ash had gone down too. I laughed as I was tackled to the ground, bodies piling on top of me. Taken out by humans. The irony! Screams and gurgles sounded loudly without the ring of gunfire to drown it out. I turned my head and saw Ruby working her way through the thick wall of people, dropping them one after the other with a slice here, a stab there. I knew she was fighting her way towards us. Fighting for us, just the way she promised. She let out a battle cry that chilled me to my bones and I could no longer see what she was doing, she was moving so fast. All I could see was body after body dropping to the floor. Ellen screamed and Ruby glanced over, the fires of fury flashing across those lovely brown orbs.

“NOOOOO!” Her shout held the power and ferocity of a commander. 

She launched one of her blades and whirled to confront another attacker but was suddenly swarmed, bodies closing over. I couldn't see her anymore. She was still fighting. I still heard screams and saw the occasional body go flying but I knew, this was it. Tears flowed down my cheeks, into my hair. We had failed them. We had failed Sam and Dean. Ruby laughed a wicked sound, as if accepting her death. I took a deep breath in, waiting for the end but it never came. I blindingly white light shone through the room, then I was laying against cool, damp grass in front of my house. I looked around to see Ellen and Jo doing much the same. Rufus and Ash were unconscious, Ruby was back in an offensive stance, looking around like she had no idea what was going on. Truthfully, I didn't either. We all turned toward the house then threw our arms up to protect our eyes from the bright light shining from every opening. The house sounded like it screamed but I knew it was really the people within. The screaming ended a few seconds after it started and the light was just gone. 

We all stared at the house as if it would answer our questions for us. Then out walked an angel. A choked noise sounded off to my left and I looked over to see Ruby's eyes wide as she walked forward. The angel walked down my front steps, eyes on Ruby. She stopped inches in front of him, tears breaking free to fall down her cheeks as she stared at him in awe before throwing her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a ferocious hug. 

“Castiel?” Her voice was thick with incredulity. He nodded.

“Yes.” His gruff voice seemed to reassure her. 

Her grip tightened and his eyes widened a little before he actually wrapped his arms around her to rest gently against her lower back. They stayed like that, uninterrupted for a few minutes while the rest of us looked on in confusion and awe. An angel and a demon hugging? What the hell was I missing? The moment was interrupted by an unknown voice. 

“Rosalba Ailbhe.” I whirled and saw the others do the same out of my peripherals. 

A tall, strikingly beautiful red head stood about thirty yards back and her voice carried loudly with authority. She was looking at Ruby paying no mind to anyone else. I turned to look at Ruby. She hadn't moved, arms still wrapped around Cass, but she stiffened all over. Slowly she released the angel and turned around, stiffly.

“I don't go by that anymore. Haven't for over six hundred years.” The red-head raised her eyebrows.

“No? But it is such a beautiful name, Rosalba. One that just rolls off the tongue.” She smirked. Her voice was thick with some very old school European accent. It sounded positively lovely, each word framed by the deep red of her full lips.

“I told you. That isn't my name.”

“Oh, but it is. Why bury who you were?” Ruby tensed up, glaring at the woman. “Is it because you know how much power lies in names, Rosalba?” Ruby took a step away from the angel at her back, toward the mystery red-head. 

“I go by Ruby, now. And you'd do well to remember that, Abaddon.” The woman laughed.

“Glad you recognized me. It might have hurt my feelings if I'd of had to suffer through introductions.”

 

··········  
Castiel's POV

 

I felt my eyes widen. Abaddon? What was a knight of hell doing here? I stepped up, stopping directly behind Ruby. I had seen this demon in Ruby's memory but she had worn a different guise then.

“You are a knight of hell. How is that possible? The archangels exterminated your kind over two centuries ago. Abaddon looked at me, one of her fiery red eyebrows raised with a smirk spread wide across her equally red lips.

“Oh really? Is that what they teach you boys in Sunday school?” She laughed softly and shook her head, then looked back at Ruby.

“Where'd you purchase your pet angel?” She hiked a thumb in my direction then ran her eyes over my entire body. “He's precious.” She licked her lips then looked back at Ruby. “He any good?” I looked at Ruby, confused by the line of questioning. She shook her head and laughed.

“Our relationship isn't like that, silly goose.” I could hear the grin in her words. 

“If you are going to walk on the dangerous side, why not go all the way? He's cute enough.” My eyebrows reached for the heavens as I finally clued into what they were talking about. I found my eyes looking Ruby over. I remembered laying in a bed with her and Dean not too long ago. I flashed back to my first erection, Sam's memories of him and Dean together searing through my mind, setting fire to my body. I pulled myself back to the present. What an odd line of conversation. I leaned down to Ruby.

“Why are you two conversing about carnal relations with me?” Abaddon let out a high pitched peel of joyous laughter.

“I see why you keep him around.” We both looked at her. I looked over to see Ellen and Jo pulling an unconscious Rufus over to them while Bobby did the same to Ash. They were trying to rouse them unsuccessfully.

“Why are you here?” Ruby's voice was cold.

“Not very hospitable, are you. I am a guest, shouldn't you invite me in and ask if I want tea or something. ” Her statement was rhetorical yet Ruby answered her.

“One, you are no guest of mine and two, it isn't my house.” She looked over at Bobby. “Hey Bobby, you feel like inviting our friend here inside for a spot of tea?” She motioned to Abaddon with a cock of her head. Bobby smiled standing to his full height from his crouch next to Ash and shook his head, gesturing to the house.

“Be my guest!” He said with a flourish. They were toying with her and Abaddon knew it. She didn't like that very much. 

“Cute. Real cute.” Abaddon's voice was down right icy. “I think I'll decline your...generous offer to stay at the roach motel.” She stared at Ruby as if she could trace the neurons racing through her brain. “How can you walk freely through that house?”

“I was invited. No need for skulking when you are welcome company.” Abaddon didn't much like Ruby's smart-ass response. 

“Don't toy with me girl. I was dancing in people's entrails long before your great, great gran-daddy even knew how to fit part A into part B.” Her voice was flat and cold, something she was very good at, with that not so subtle threat. “How are you walking throughout that house? It is riddled with devils traps.” Ruby shrugged non-chalantly.

“Can't give away all the trade secrets. Sorry.” I found myself inching closer to Ruby at the frosty rage that slid across Abaddon's face.

“I see.”

“What do you want, Abaddon?” Ruby was calm, seemingly un-phased by the Knights presence. Abaddon raised one eyebrow.

“I came to collect Sam.” Ruby made some sort of comical noise in the back of her throat.

“Wow. Working as one of Lilith's hired thugs now, Abaddon?” Abaddon looked very cross for a second before shrugging with a coy smile at the corner of her mouth.

“Why not? Astaroth, Azazel, Alastair, they all worked for her. If I'm not mistaken, you worked for her too before you went all turn coat. I wouldn't throw stones when the walls of your glass house are so very thin, Rosalba.” I could feel the resentment flow off Ruby but she shrugged as if she couldn't be bothered.  
“I have to tell you, those in Lilith's employ tend to not have that long of a life expectancy. Actually, if I remember correctly, you have a rather sketchy background when it comes to employers anyway. Must make writing a resume interesting.” Abaddon smiled broadly.

“I like you. You've got spunk.” She took a few steps forward and everyone froze with tension, which only made her smile wider.  
“Give me Sam, Rosalba, and I won't hurt you or anyone else here. I will just take the boy and go.” Ruby was silent for a minute. I looked around to see everyone looking at her, waiting expectantly, hoping that she will say the right thing. She finally shook her head.

“You will have to go through me to get to him.” Abaddon shook her head.

“I tried to do this the easy way.” She began to move forward then stopped, shooting a cautionary glance in my direction then back at Ruby. “How about a duel. You and me. No interference. Winner walks away with the prize. To make it more even I'll make it so that neither of us can use our powers against the other. What do you say?” Ruby seemed to be really contemplating it.

“Don't do it, Ruby. We are stronger together.” Ellen's voice rang out loud and clear. I know Ruby heard her but she still stood facing Abaddon, contemplatively. She shook her head and laughed.

“Do you take me for a fool?” Abaddon raised her eyebrows questioningly. “You are a knight of hell and therefore cannot be killed by any weapon we have here. Consenting to a duel with you would be the equivalent of throwing in the towel. I may as well gift wrap Sam and hand him to you with a shiny bow on his head.” Abaddon sighed.

“Fine. What if the duel wasn't to the death just until one of us was incapacitated?” Again with the questioning eyebrow. More contemplation on Ruby's end. “Oh, come on! This is the best deal you are going to get. What are you so scared of? You already wiped out the humans under my control. By the way, I'm pretty mad about that. Do you know how stressful it is to recruit that many within so short a time?” Ruby shook her head again.

“I do not believe you.” Abaddon feigned surprise then donned an injured face.

“Lil' ol' invincible me? Why, I'd never!” More head shaking from Ruby.

“You are a strategist, like I am. The best way to throw your enemy off is to make it appear as if you are losing the fight.” I could hear the laughter in her next words. “You must really take me for a fool if you think I'm going to believe you wasted your whole army on us in one shot.” She tsked at Abaddon. “Try again.” Abaddon's face went blank.

“Have it your way. I tire of playing nice.” Abaddon ran at Ruby who rushed forward to intercept her before she could get too close to the rest of us. 

I moved backwards toward the two fallen hunters. I healed them first then Ellen, Jo and Bobby. I had a feeling this fight was only just beginning. I heard an angry cry and turned around to see Abaddon bouncing off the side of a car and hitting the ground. She was down for a moment before she sprang back to her feet and began to charge ruby again. Ruby fell back into a defensive stance then when the red head got close enough she jumped up and spun, delivering a hell of a full round house to the side of Abaddon's face. Abaddon staggered back as Ruby landed back on her feet. Taking advantage of the red head's disorientation Ruby ran at her, jumping up so that her legs were locked around Abaddon's waist. She began pummeling Abaddon, her fists smashing into her face so quickly I couldn't keep track of which fist was currently making contact. All I saw was Abaddon's head whipping back and forth, like a ping pong ball, with the force. 

“Fuck yeah! Get that, bitch!” Ash yelled, pumping his fist with a dumb grin stretching across his face. I couldn't help but smile at Ash's adolescent instigation. 

Suddenly Ruby flipped her upper half down toward the ground so that her hands were in place like she was about to do a back flip, legs still firmly locked around Abaddon's waist. In an impressive show of strength and agility she swept the red head off her feet so that she was airborne long enough to travel a small half circle, her feet in the air where her head had been a second before, then her head was crashing into the ground. Ruby unclenched her legs and flipped forward, landing in a crouch and whirling. 

“Oho!” Ash screamed gleefully. “She just suplexed her!” He was laughing riotously. I had to admit, Ruby was very impressive.

She was on top of Abaddon in a blur, flipping her over. I saw a small movement and then the gleam of a knife. Not just any knife, the demon knife. I saw her bring the knife up and then she plunged it into the flesh of her chest. She stabbed Abaddon again and again, seemingly in a craze, as the red head screamed. Suddenly Abaddon swung, landing a solid hay-maker against the left side of Ruby's Face, knocking her back onto her ass, between Abaddon's legs. She immediately rolled backwards and to her feet, standing over the fallen knight, the demon knife at her side dripping blood. Abaddon rolled, slowly, painfully onto her side and heaved herself up to a sitting position with a groan.

“Either I am out of practice...or you are just one hell of an enemy to make.” She coughed, spewing blood down her chin. She stumbled to her feet then looked down mournfully at her vessel. “I really liked the ginger too!” She glared up at Ruby standing about a foot in front of her.

“Leave, Abaddon.” The red head shook her head with a sinister, bloody smile.

“You should have accepted my offer, you might have actually won.”

“Leave.” Ruby's voice was a low growl and Abaddon raised her eyebrow.

“You're feisty kid, I'll give you that. But I don't give up that easily.” She shoved both hands into Ruby's chest and suddenly Ruby was somersaulting through the air right towards all of us. 

I stepped in front of the others and took the impact. Ruby's head connected hard against my sternum, as I fell backward wrapping my arms around her as if to protect her from the impact. She looked up at me from where I held her cradled against my chest and nodded at me. No sooner than I let her go she was back on her feet. Abaddon laughed then fell to her knees, wincing a little before burying her fingers in the dirt. The ground began to shake beneath our feet violently.

“Fuck!” Ruby grumbled. She grabbed my arm and began moving toward the Knight. “You have to help me stop her or she will tear the house down around Sam and Dean.” I flew so that I was suddenly standing behind Abaddon and Ruby was in front, straddling the forming crack in the ground.

“You should have left when I told you to.” She stabbed the red head in the throat and I reached out, placing my hands on either side of her face, tipping it back. 

The power of my grace glowed in bright white-blue beams of heavenly light out of my palms and against her skin. Her black eyes widened in horror before she screamed. A black cloud of smoke shot up from her mouth as she tried to smoke out. I placed my glowing hand against her mouth keeping the rest of her in there. She thrashed trying to get free, her screams muffled against my hand then her arms connected against the both of us, sending Ruby and I flying. I crashed into the side of a car and popped back to my feet in time to see her escaping the vessel she had inhabited in a screaming black cloud. I looked over to see Ruby pulling herself to her feet right before another wave of humans closed around us.

“Round two.” Ruby said, sounding extremely tired as she pulled the sword from the sheath down her spine.

 

··········  
Sam's POV

 

I woke up feeling as if my insides had been filled with cement. My eyelids were heavy as I struggled to lift them. I heard someone talking in the background and then felt a hand wrap around my upper arm, helping me sit up as my reality sloshed around in psychedelic waves inside my skull. Dean's voice came to me in bits and pieces, slowly forming full sentences. I could finally understand him.

“Where are we?” I knew from the smell that this wasn't the cabin. 

“Bobby's panic room.” I forced my eyes open to see Dean crouched in front of me and the round, iron walls behind him.

“How did we get here?” The last thing I remembered was being in the cabin with Dean underneath of me and Ruby in front of us, hand between her legs...then it was blank. 

I stared at Dean who sighed before sitting back on his butt, folding his legs Indian style. The next forty minutes passed with me sitting in silence except to ask an occasional question as Dean told me everything that was going on. He finally sat there, quietly staring at me, waiting for a reaction. So many emotions swirled around inside of me that I almost felt numb from their onslaught. 

“So, we are in here because neither of you want me to kill Lilith and you both agreed that seducing and drugging me was the best way to subdue me?” My voice sounded mostly hollow with just the slightest hint of anger. Dean flinched then looked down at the ground.

“I didn't know that she planned on roo- spelling the lube.” He was quiet for a moment before he continued. “She just told me that the best way to get you to be pliant was to get you into a relaxed state. I swear I didn't know about the witchy drugging. She got me too.” I raised my eyebrows at that.

“You look fine to me.” My voice sounded disbelieving and his eyes narrowed.

“That is because you slept a whole day longer than I did. I was asleep for two days.” I felt my eyes bug out. I had been asleep for three days?

“What has been happening since I've been asleep?” he shook his head.

“I have no idea. Ruby was here yesterday when I woke up and looked a little battle worn. She told me what I told you then went back upstairs and I've seen nor heard anything from her since.” He looked up at the fan circling above us. “I think you should know that their were explosions and an earthquake a few hours ago but it has since fallen quiet.” I contemplated this for a moment.

“Who is fighting with her?” Dean shook his head.

“I don't know. She wouldn't tell me.” he looked bothered by this. “At this point, you know everything I know.” I doubted that and it must have shown on my face because he looked down at the ground.

“How does she plan on stopping Lilith from breaking the last seal if I'm in here? Why is she fighting so hard to defend us? Why would she have to defend us? Lilith should want us in here. Actually, if you were in on this, why did she lock you in here with me?” I glared at him. He fidgeted a little but stayed silent.  
What was he hiding? I reached out with my powers trying to see inside his head but they were just deflected and all I got was a resounding ringing, the same ringing I heard when trying to read Ruby. I stood up fast and promptly fell back down. My world spun and I took a few steadying breaths. 

“Why can I not read your thoughts? I've always been able to before, almost without trying.” Dean glared up at me.

“What? Don't like not being able to get inside peoples personal thoughts?” I could feel my anger flaring up but he glared back at me, unflinchingly. “Not that it is any of your business but Ruby warded me against your kind of intrusion. For which I am more than glad to have!” I bumbled over my words, so angry I could hardly form coherent thoughts. He stood up still glaring at me.

“Not everyone's private life is free for your consumption, Sam. I don't know what makes you think you are so entitled.” He paced a few steps then spun to face me. “Just because you can do something, does not mean you should.”

He was really angry at me? Me? I had been the one played by the two people I had trusted the most, but he was angry at me. I stood, allowing my anger to help hold me on my feet despite the slightly spinning ground beneath my feet.

“If you are withholding information pertaining to me when the fate of the world is at stake I reserve the right to obtain it any way I damn well please.” He glared at me then scoffed and turned his back. “What are you hiding from me?” Dean just shook his head and I felt a scream of rage build in the back of my throat. I bit it back but just barely.

“There are just too many things that don't add up, Dean. You need to talk to me. Tell me what is going on.” He turned and glared at me. 

He opened his mouth as if getting ready to speak then the ground rumbled beneath our feet. There was a moment when our eyes met in confusion before our feet were swept from under us by the force of the tremors. Earthquakes? In South Dakota? I heard a series of cracks followed by a loud female scream, one I was all too familiar with. I looked over at Dean who was staring at the door with a look of horror on his face. An explosion rumbled the ground and resounded through my head, setting my ears ringing. That blast had been close, really close. The iron door behind me tore off the hinges and in the threshold stood a bloody, singed, battle ragged Ruby, breathing heavily.

“Come on! We have to get out of here!” She held her hand out to me and spared a moment to look hurriedly behind her. 

When she looked back she impatiently shook her outstretched hand. I stood up and began moving toward the door but felt Dean's hand on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder at him to see his eyes locked on Ruby, skeptically and I dare say distrustfully. I frowned then looked back at her.

“Sam, don't. Ruby put us in here for our protection, she wouldn't ask us to leave now.” I looked over the woman in front of me thoroughly and nodded. If what he had told me was true then he was right. Something was definitely off here.

“Sam. Dean. Come on! We don't have much time!” Her eyes squinted closed in pain and she staggered back a step, hunching in on herself. Then as soon as it had come on she visibly shook it off and pulled herself straight. I didn't know what that was but it hadn't looked natural or very pleasant. I shook my head. Her eyes narrowed to slits.

“Sam! Dean! Stay in the panic room!” I looked behind Ruby to see Bobby running down the steps as fast as his bleeding leg would allow. I couldn't tell exactly what was wrong with his leg but I knew he was hurt. “Don't listen to her! That's not-”

He was suddenly flying across the room falling in a heap next to some bloody lump of meat. It was then that I realized there was blood and body parts painting the walls and floor at the bottom of the stairs, the bottom three steps of which were gone leaving only charred, splintered remains. I felt a white hot wave of pure rage sweep through me followed by a bitter wash of fear. I looked at Ruby and flinched back a step into Dean. Her eyes were shock white, a solid white. I swallowed down my racing heart after a couple tries, staring at the nasty, sadistic grin plastered across those lips I had spent so much time lavishing affection upon.

“Hello, Lilith.” I choked out. That unsettling grin spread wider.

“Hiya, Sammy! I came to free you.” I stared in shock for a minute.

“Why?” My voice came out as a croak and that beautiful face fell into a mask of almost child-like innocence which I found beyond creepy. 

“I can't finish the game without my partner, silly.” I frowned in confusion as she held her hand out to me again. 

I shook my head and she heaved a big sigh before walking over to Bobby and grabbing him up by his throat, dangling him about three inches off the floor. Both Dean and I startled, watching Bobby reach up, wrapping his hands around her thin wrist as if to pry it away, his feet slightly shaking. I felt my heart race against my ribs, my eyes widen, palms grow damp with sweat, breath grow shallow and too quick. She held her hand out to me again. 

“Come play with me, Sam.” She grinned like she had told a joke, but was the only one to get it. I moved forward without thinking and was pulled to a stop.

“Don't, Sam.” Dean sounded pained but I shrugged his hold off and moved forward, stepping over the threshold. Lilith laughed and I almost wanted to step back into the safety of the room. I crossed the distance between us until I was standing about a foot in front of her outstretched hand. She did that thing where she hunched in on herself in pain again, only this time it looked like she was fighting off a seizure.

“Stop it.” She mumbled in pain before muttering something in another language I couldn't understand. When it was over she glared up at me, all the humor gone. I stared down at her hand then looked over to the base of the steps where Cass appeared in a flutter of wings. He was shaking his head emphatically, holding his hand tightly against a gash in his shoulder that was bleeding pretty badly. I felt my eyes bug out and my heart fluttered in joy and relief for a second. Cass was alive!

“Sam, no. You-”

“I'm so sorry.” I said before I placed my hand in hers, the ring of her laughter echoing around me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- As the story winds up/down I find myself mourning its end. So I have decided for sure. It will be continued. I will tell you next chapter whether I will just keep the story going on here or if I want to start another story, kind of like book two in a series. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please R&R and I'll see you next chapter! Ciao!


	17. Chapter 17

Castiel's POV

 

My hand, bloodied from putting pressure on my shoulder wound, was stretched out toward where Sam had just been standing as he disappeared hand in hand with Lilith in a brilliant blast of ultraviolet light. I saw Dean fall to his knees in my peripheral vision. I looked around and jumped as Jo shoved her way past me, weeping hysterically. She ran across the short distance from the bottom of the steps to come to a complete stand still next to the lump of meat that had once been one of her comrades. She fell to her knees with a squish, landing in some unidentifiable, liquified chunks of human meat and blood...so much blood. She reached her hands forward and stopped inches away from the body, a strange, high pitched, keening sound at the back of her throat. She suddenly slid her arms around what remained of the body and pulled it into her lap, running her hand up and down the small, bloody expanse of what was left of an arm. Her head whipped toward me and I knew what she was going to ask and steeled myself for the only answer I had to give.

“Castiel...please-” She choked on a sob then bit back her sorrow slightly, tears pouring down her face. “Please-” Another sob escaped her as she looked down and began rocking, running her hand along the arm again. “I cant-” She sobbed and shook her head erratically.

I felt the sting of tears burning my eyes and shook my head, though she couldn't see me. I swallowed a few times trying to prepare myself for the news I had to deliver. I didn't want her to have to suffer through another loss but I couldn't change what had happened. 

“I'm sorry, Jo. I can't. This is out of my hands.” I swallowed at the start of something that sounded like a cross between a moan and a whimper coming from her. “I can't heal the dead.” 

I looked anywhere else other than at Jo kneeling on that bloody floor and found myself staring at Dean who was staring at Jo. His eyes suddenly found mine and I flinched. Horror, fear, misery, loss and defeat filled his eyes, his shoulders rounded out and slumped with hopelessness. I looked away from him my eyes wandering along the blood and gore stained wall between him and Jo. Feet thundered down the steps, I looked behind me to see Rufus. He jogged over and hauled Bobby to his feet. I was absorbed in watching the two men quality check the other when I was shoulder checked. Ellen skidded to her knees, on the blood and other things, behind Jo, pulling her daughter into her arms. Jo half turned her torso so that she could bury her face in her mother's shoulder. I felt numb from the weight of the grief in the room. I finally pulled myself together and walked over to crouch in front of Jo.

“Jo.” Her arms were wrapped firmly around the remains of her friend and her sobs seemed to drown out anything else. I reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. “Joanna?” She lifted her face and turned toward me. I looked down at the scene she presented; her arms wrapped firmly around the torso of her friend's corpse, rocking back and forth, arms and clothes covered in blood, hair disheveled with blood and thicker things decorating the blonde strands, but it was her eyes that broke my heart. The tears finally broke free to slide down my cheeks. 

“I am so very, very sorry.” Every breath came out of her a frantic sob. I put my hands on either side of her face, locking my eyes on hers. A whole conversation passed between us silently. She nodded her head as if she understood. I looked at Ellen who also looked as if someone had torn her heart from her chest.

“Take Jo upstairs.” She nodded and five minutes later the two were staggering up the broken stairs, trailing the smell of tears and the sounds of grief behind them. I looked over at Bobby and Rufus who now stared at me as I knelt in the mess that had once been Ash.

“Get Dean upstairs.” I looked back at the fallen genius. “I will take care of him.” I heard a shuffle and turned to see Rufus with Dean's arm slung over his shoulders, making their way up the steps. Bobby was staring at Ash's remains tears cutting through the dirt and blood of battle on his cheeks. 

“He was a damned good man.” He sniffled, wiped his arm underneath his nose then looked at me. “He deserves a hunters funeral, Cass.” I nodded. The older man stared for a few seconds longer then made his way upstairs. 

An hour later I had a pyre set up in the backyard and had the bloody bits of Ash gathered in buckets, sheets, anything abandoned that would allow me to carry him up. I handled each piece of him gingerly, respectfully as I pieced him back together a bit at a time until he was lying on the pyre in a grotesque jigsaw puzzle of the human anatomy. I cleaned the blood from his face and neck then placed a white sheet over him, pulling it back just enough to reveal his face. I returned to the basement to clean the remaining chunks of him off the walls and floor, putting it all into a bucket then cleaned up all the blood. The whole process took about three hours and when I was finally done I came back up the steps to find all the humans, except Rufus asleep. He glanced at me with a question in his eyes. I nodded.

“It is done.” The man nodded. “Let them sleep. We will have the funeral when they wake.” He nodded again then laid his head back, eyes sliding closed. 

I walked back outside and made a few torches surrounding the pyre. I looked around for anything to do to keep me busy then I thought of something. I flew to get some flowers and returned, covering the now blood stained sheet with Chrysanthemums and Magnolias, my two favorite flowers, and surrounded the base of the pyre with roses of all colors, lacing lavender strands through the sticky, blood clumped, locks of what had been his trademark mullet. I dipped my head paying my respects and sent a prayer up to God that he watch over Ash and grant him a warriors heaven. A few tears ran down my cheeks. This could, would, be Sam and Dean Winchester. I would eventually have to give them similar honors and my heart seized upon itself. As amazing and honorable as they were, all they had sacrificed, all we had been through together, they were just mortal and would one day die for good, despite their habit of defying the system. One could cheat death but in the end he collected his dues. I stood there staring at the scene before me paying the fallen warrior all the respects I could and startled slightly when the back door opened, revealing the rest of humanities last defense against the apocalypse. They came out one at a time, sluggish with their grief. I watched Jo in particular. She hadn't looked at much other than her feet and the ground passing beneath them. When they all stood shoulder to shoulder next to me she finally looked up and gasped. She cried silent tears, they all did. I stepped forward and grabbed the torch I had made and lit it, walking to stand in front of her. She locked eyes with me as I gently grabbed her hand and placed the handle of the torch against her palm, closing her fingers around the wood.

“I figured you would want to light his way to his next life and honor him.” Her face crumbled into a mask of pain for a minute then she let out a brief sob before clearing her throat and nodding her head. She stepped forward to stand in front of us all, gazing on Ash's body. She stood in silence for a few minutes. Then her voice surrounded us, loud and strong, thick with love, respect and the edge of tears.

“Ash was one of the greatest men I knew. He saved my life and my sanity more times than I can count. He was a voice of reason, a comedian, a genius. He always had a kind word and open arms when I needed him. He was a cheap drunk,” A few soft chuckles from the rest and a brief, half-hearted, almost manic laugh from her, “A sore sport at hunting games, a hunter that couldn't shoot for shit, a horrible poker player, a peacemaker and a warrior. Most importantly, he was and always will be my friend.” She cried silently for a minute, shoulders shaking. Ellen looked like she wanted to step forward and offer comfort but stayed in place. 

“He was always there for a friend and came through for every person standing here when they were in a tough spot. We all owe him our lives.” Everyone nodded, Ellen placed her palm against her heart brought her fist to her lips and kissed it, opening her palm to the sky in a gesture of love and affection. 

“He was a believer in many things but above all he valued humanity, love...friendship. He died for those things. Let us never forget what he gave up for these simple, profound beliefs and honor him. We-” She cut herself off and swallowed convulsively a few times, “I will always love you, Ash.” Her voice shook, Ellen made a small choking sound and Bobby sniffled. Jo stepped forward raising the torch above her head as if hailing a general.   
“Let us honor Ash, the widget wizard, master of mechanics, the manic mullet.” 

The hunters all simultaneously threw their heads back and shouted in unison, Jo thrust the torch up emphasizing the moment and a chill ran down my spine, goose bumps crawling along my flesh. Jo stepped forward and lit the pyre on fire, setting the torch down next to Ash then stepped back. I watched the shadows of the firelight dance along the hunters faces, the flames lighting their tears up like trails of precious gems as the smell of burning wood, flowers and flesh filled the night air. They were all touching in some small way or another, unified by their loss, reminded of the harsh end they were all destined to meet. No one but the handful of people before me would ever realize what humanity had lost, what they still stood to lose, how valuable people like themselves were, how unappreciated all their sacrifices were. I smiled. They never got attention or respect for everything they sacrificed, yet they continued to fight. They fought because they thought it was right. They lived, trained and died to defend humanity, even if not all of it deserved to be saved. For this, I cried. I wept silently at their beauty. I found the scene to be eerily beautiful despite its nature. 

When the pyre was burned down to nothing but smolders the hunters turned and returned to the house. Dean was the last to stand before the embers. His eyes met mine and he offered me a small yet genuine smile that made my heart flutter. He held his hand out to me and I stepped forward and accepted it as he pulled me in for a hug. The contact lingered for a few moments longer than it had ever before and I closed my eyes cherishing the moment. When he pulled away he held me at arms length.

“We have to get to Sam.” I Knew it was likely that we would not be able to change whatever was to happen now but I couldn't bring myself to deny the desperation in Dean's eyes. I felt myself nodding. And his eyes slid closed, breathing a sigh of relief. He slapped his hands on the outside of my shoulders, offered me a smile and turned around, returning to the house. 

 

··········  
Bobby's POV

 

I found myself shaking my head. 

“Are you insane?” Dean stared at me, hunched over the war table, which had surprisingly survived all the chaos. 

“Certifiably so, but this is the only thing I can think of.” Silence fell over our little group.

“I have a question.” We all looked at Jo who had been quiet the whole time. “Ruby made it so that only her or bobby could open the door to the panic room right.” She   
looked at me and I nodded. “Lilith possessed her and she still opened it. I didn't see the actual possession, did anyone else?” Baffled looks crossed everyone’s faces followed by a lot of head shaking. She popped up off the wall, standing on her own with her arms crossed under her breasts.

“Maybe Lilith didn't actually possess Ruby.” Ellen's face crashed down and she spun on her daughter.

“After everything you are still hung up on all your bigotry! Joanna Beth-”

“It was her.” Dean cut off the budding argument with that loud authoritative statement. He looked up at the eyes now focused on him. “I saw her. Her eyes were shock white.” He shook his head. “Lilith definitely took her over.” he got a confused look on his face then turned to face Cass who was so still and quiet I had almost forgotten he was here.

“Is it possible that Ruby and Lilith could be sharing a vessel?” The angels eyes grew distant and his lips screwed up in thought. Finally he dipped his head once in acknowledgment.

“It is possible. What makes you think this is the case?” 

“Twice I watched Lilith curl in on itself as if she were in pain. She squinted her eyes closed and seemed unsteady. Right before Sam took her hand she said 'stop it' like she was talking to someone.” Cass stared at Dean for a minute then nodded his head.

“It sounds like it is a definite possibility that Ruby and Lilith share a vessel.” Dean nodded his head and I knew what he was thinking before he said it. 

“We have to get Sam to see that Ruby is in there with Lilith.”

“What good will that do us?” Rufus asked. Everyone looked at him like he was a doofus. Dean ignored him.

“So what, you are hoping that Sam's love for Ruby will outweigh his need to destroy Lilith?” Dean locked eyes with Jo. And I saw Rufus' eyes widen which set a dumb smile creeping across my face. The damned idgit really hadn't seen it.

“That is exactly what I'm hoping for.” She stared at him in silence for a minute before scoffing and shrugging her shoulders. 

“Mushy, but definitely better than plan kamikaze.” Ellen nodded her head. I found myself nodding too.

“No plan is without risk at this point.” Cass piped in.

“It's all we got. But we have one small problem.” Everyone looked at me. “How are we going to find them? She is warded against either angel or demon from tracking her.” we all looked around for a second in silence.

“I think I might be able to help.” We all turned to greet the new voice. Dean stepped forward with a look of relief.  
“Man, where have you been?” Cass popped up off the wall he'd been leaning against and his arms uncrossed, eyes darting around as if searching for something. Then his eyes focused back and he seemed pretty mad.

“Are you mad?! Coming here endangers us all!” He took a step forward, “It endangers Sam! Have you any idea what they will do to stop this? They'll kill him!” Dean held his hand out, standing between the two.

“He came to help us, Cass. Can you maybe dial the righteous anger back a few notches?”

 

··········  
Sam's POV  
Almost 1,300 miles Southeast at  
St. Mary's Convent, Ilchester, MD

 

We arrived wherever she had taken us in a blinding flash of light and a sonic pop that made my ears ring. Gravity seemed to have recalibrated during our trip because I couldn't tell which way was up and felt as if I was falling, a second later I knew why as my knees had a hard meet and greet with a concrete floor, making me wince. Why was it always the knees? I found myself clutching at my chest, fighting for air and against the pressure around my heart. My head seemed to be spinning on the top of my spine and my bones went jelly on me as the ground rose up to greet me and it was lights out. 

When I came to and looked up I saw I was in the middle of a rather large room. It was empty, minus the rather elaborate alter raised up on a dais in the front of the room and the giant, plain wood cross on the wall behind it. Lilith sat on the altar, legs crossed at the knees, leaning back on her hands, head cocked to the side with an amused smile.

“It happens sometimes.” When I stayed silent she waved her hand in my general direction, “It is a side effect of the fast travel. Your body isn't used to it.”

“No shit, really? I didn't know that!” I groaned as I got to my feet. Her smile spread a little more.

“I see someone is feeling a bit feisty.” She hopped down off the altar, completely skipping the dais, in a smooth move, gliding towards me until she was about ten feet back. She looked down her body and sighed as if pleased, looking back up at me as she ran her hands over herself.

“Ruby always did have such excellent taste in meat suits.” I ground my teeth, hands balling into fists at my sides. Her eyes tracked the movement and her grin grew. “Touch a nerve did I?” I fought against my urge to wring her neck. She laughed.

“Oh, my little viper certainly wriggled her way in deep, didn't she.” She watched my face as if waiting for a reaction to the news of Ruby being a plant, smile faltering slightly at not getting one. I smiled slightly. Nice try bitch. I already knew that. She shrugged it off by flicking her hair over her shoulder and beginning to walk a circle around me. I followed her with my eyes but otherwise didn't move, even when she was out of my sight. 

“So how much do you know about all this, Sammy?” She sounded irritated which made me smile more in petty satisfaction.

“Can we skip the foreplay and just get right down to business.” She laughed as she came back into view. 

“I do love a man who knows exactly what he wants but-”

“Your head on a plate?” She raised her eyebrow but continued.

“-patience, lover. All in its due time. The climax is all the sweeter when you take your time.” A wicked grin spread across her face. “Speaking of time, it would seem we have some to burn. How about one last tumble, eh? I think it could do us both some good.” 

I scoffed. Her eyes slid up and to the left and I watched her eyebrows raise, her smile grew followed by her tongue flicking over her lips as if she was seeing something I couldn't, and like it. I realized what she was doing and my skin crawled, rage bubbling just below the surface. 

“Oh you are a naughty boy, aren't you? Mmmmmmm...” She still had that distant look as she said it then out of nowhere she staggered back a step, one hand going to her heart, the other to her head as she partially doubled over, face contorting with pain. She panted for a few seconds, a thin sheen of sweat breaking out across her upper lip then it was over and she was pulling herself straight again.

“Ow.” She said, glaring at me. I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Too many puzzle pieces weren't fitting, the picture was all disjointed. Why did Lilith want me here? Why was she in Ruby's body? 

“What am I doing here, Lilith? Why fight so hard to break me free and get me here? Why are you in Ruby's body?” She raised her eyebrows.

“That's a lot of questions.” I just stared at her and she sighed, shaking her head. “You know Jack and Shit I see. How disappointing.” I still continued staring. She turned her back and hopped back up onto the altar. She stared right at me in silence for a moment. 

“Ruby cast a blood weave around the room you were imprisoned in. The only way to get through it was for her to open it.” I nodded. I knew that but apparently Lilith didn't know there had been an alternative option. “She had been occupying this meat suit for a while now and when a demon stays in one particular vessel for a long period of time their essence gets infused with the flesh, as if it was actually their body. So I hijacked her body and voila!” She made a ridiculous hand gesture and thrust her head upwards as if proud of her actions. 

“Okay. And what about the rest.” She looked at me with a grin I can only describe as devilish.

“Oh, you'll find out soon enough, lover.” 

As if on cue she gasped in a screaming inhale, her head dropped back, body going limp except for where her back was arched. It looked as if a puppet master had tied strings around her chest and had her suspended from it. Her skin glowed a dull ultraviolet color and she surged forward, falling off the dais completely, landing on her hands and knees, head hanging loose between her shoulder blades. I fell back into a defensive position instinctively. She stayed there, panting until the glow faded. A moment passed and then her head snapped up so that she was staring at me. Her pure white eyes glowed so bright they cast shadows, curls falling carelessly around her face. She grinned maliciously and then she was running at me. She was fast and caught me off guard, jumping on me and riding me to the ground, straddling my hips.

“Come on, Sammy. This is what you wanted isn't it? To skip the foreplay?” She ran her nails down my chest and ground her hips slightly against me then leaned into me so that her chest was against mine. “Take me, baby.” She groaned into my ear. 

I felt my eyes widen right before my body reacted on its own. I shoved her off of me with everything I had, which as it turned out was a lot, sending her flying back about ten feet. She landed in a crouch, smiling, then she was on me. Her foot smashed into the side of my face, spinning me around and sending me crashing to my knees. Before I had time to fully register that I was back on the floor she punted my ribs and I was spinning through the air, crashing down and rolling with the momentum. She rolled me over and I had time to see that she was crouched above me before her hand closed around my throat. She lifted me up so that our faces were inches apart, fingers digging into my windpipes. Each little precious bit of oxygen was garnered through a wheezy, raspy, partial inhale. 

“I'm disappointed Sam. Aren't you supposed to be a bad ass?” 

Her fist smashed into the side of my face, rocking my head back on my spine, but her grip on my throat never faltered. I saw little star bursts with a shadowy edge to them. I had time to think that that wasn't very good and then my face bounced off her fist again. I heard her huff in disgust before I was falling back against the floor. I took a screaming inhale in as if trying to make up for all the oxygen I had been missing in one shot, hacked up a lung and rolled over onto my side. I shoved off the floor to stand unsteadily on my feet. She smiled, eyes staying locked on me while she paced back and forth as if stalking me. I tried to think of what I was supposed to be doing. It wasn't until a flying kick delivered by Lilith had me crashing against a wall that I remembered what I had to do. I was going to kill Lilith. I reached deep down inside me and allowed the liquid warmth of my power to fill me. The power surged forward, filling me up. I looked up to see Lilith rushing towards me again, only a few yards back. Whatever was on my face must have scared her because she stopped short. I felt an evil smirk spread across my face as I stood. I didn't move at all but Lilith was somersaulting head of heels through the air to come to a crashing halt against the altar. She pulled herself to her feet, face contorted in pain. I walked toward her and she smiled. I stopped and watched her, confused by her actions.

“She screamed, you know. I know you had to of heard her.” She laughed. “Oh, how she screamed.” I felt my rage boiling up again and tried to temper it. If I lost it now I might not be able to control the power within me. Lilith cocked her head to the side.

“I killed her. I didn't exorcise her. Oh no! She's rotting in a place worse than hell now, Sammy!” She threw her head back and an eerie peel of laughter split through the air, made all the creepier from having come from whom I was so used to referring to Ruby as. “I put that bitch right where she belongs...and there's nothing you can do to save her, Sammy.” 

My heartbeat thundered through my ears, my fingertips tingling with the power surging through my veins, my chest heaved as my breathing increased, my vision sharpened almost painfully so that everything was crisp and so clear that the world took on a diamond edge. I could see the pulse at the base of Lilith's throat, hear her heart racing, taste her breath, smell the sweat trickling down her spine. I could almost feel the fear radiating off of her in waves, taste it at the edge of my tongue. Emotions have a flavor as it turns out. Fear is electric with a bitter aftertaste and smells exactly the way it tastes. I shook my head trying to reign myself in. I could feel my control slipping, knew I was losing myself to the power I had summoned within me. Lilith shuffled and the rustling of her clothes, the scuff of her feet sounded loudly, as if I had movie theatre surround sound effects blasting against my eardrums through headphones. I locked my eyes on her and she froze, even her heart stuttered for a second. 

“I can taste your heart at the back of my throat, the reek of your fear fills my head.” 

Her heart rate tripled and I laughed. My voice sounded so unlike me. It was deeper with a more seductive, base undertone to it, my words rolling languidly from my tongue. I shivered and fought to gain some control. I knew Lilith was going to speak before she did. I couldn't focus on what she said but I felt the vibration of her vocal cords echo against my skin. The tenor, not the words registered. She looked like my Ruby but she sounded nothing like her. I could smell a little bit of Ruby but I knew it was just residual. My Ruby was gone. I snapped. Suddenly I was across the room and my fist had smashed into Lilith's face, spinning her around. Her head connected with the altar, cracking the marble. The metallic scent of blood was thick and instant, cloying at the back of my throat. I grabbed the back of her head and yanked her up, turning her around and pulling her body flush to mine. Her feet were hanging free from the floor and her face was inches away from mine. She bared her teeth at me and began struggling against me, blood pouring down her face. I growled deep in my chest and throat and she stilled momentarily. I let my power surge forward and shoved it into her. She threw her head back and screamed long ragged screams, muscles convulsing, back bowing. I poured power into her as if filling up a balloon. Eventually, when the balloon gets too full it will explode.

“SAM! Stop it! Stop this!” Dean shouted. 

My head moved on its own accord toward him and he visibly flinched backward into Castiel, who was standing behind him. Lilith had gone limp in my arms and I dropped her on the dais, hopping down and standing there. I heard him swallow a few times, his heart racing. He too stank of fear. I tried to tone it down a few notches so that he would calm down but the power within me didn't want to be restrained. I had summoned too much of it, now I had to pay the price. Monster. I saw that word fill Dean's eyes with a glassy sheen of tears. I turned away from him, facing Lilith's boneless body. She was staring at me, eyes big as the moon, filled with terror, chest heaving. 

“Go away, Dean, Cass. You don't need to see this.” I stepped back up on the dais.

“No. You can't kill her, Sam.”

“And why not? I'm already part way to being the monster you fear I'll become.” I paused for a second as I knelt next to Lilith. “Just do me a favor. If I start becoming something monstrous after I kill her...kill me.” I turned just my head and looked first at Dean then Cass. “Kill me before it is too late.” Cass nodded slowly, sadly but Dean shook his head emphatically.

“You don't understand. Killing Lilith is the last seal.” I shook my head with a smile. He would say or do anything to keep me from doing what I had to do. “Why do you think she brought you here? Does it look like she is even trying to commit to some ritual to break the damned seal?” I frowned, seeing the logic behind what he said. Lilith coughed and shook her head.

“Fools-” More coughing.

“That's why Ruby and I wanted to keep you safe in the panic room. That's why we did all that we did, to make sure this never happened.” 

I found myself shaking my head. Why hadn't they just told me? Then I realized, it wouldn't have mattered if they'd told me or not, my pride never would have allowed me to see it. I never would have believed them, and I'd have wound up here anyway. Lilith made some disgusted noise and I felt a foot in my chest, followed by a loud crack and air moving by me. I landed hard on the ground, the air in my lungs exploding outward, leaving me gasping for breath. I felt arms underneath my own, hauling me to my feet and groaned at the shooting pain in the center of my chest. When I was standing and could focus I saw Dean on his knees in front of Lilith up on the dais. Lilith had one hand on his jaw, the other firmly holding the crown of his head. My heart stuttered as my power washed through me like a tidal wave. I felt Cass yank his hands away from me as if I'd burned him.

“Sam don't. Ruby-” Lilith wrenched his head a little and I took a step forward.

“Sam.” I looked back at Cass who was shaking his head. “Ruby is inside the vessel with Lilith. If you destroy Lilith you also destroy Ruby.” I felt my heart drop and my stomach lurch up into my throat.

“But if I don't kill her she kills Dean.” His eyes filled with pity. This was why Ruby had locked Dean in the panic room with me. She knew that if Lilith had him I would stop at nothing to save him.

“Is one man's life worth half the world?” I glared at him.

“He is my brother.” My voice was cold.

“The question still stands.” I felt my power surge hand in hand with my rage and Cass jumped, running his hands up and down his arms.

“You never should have brought him here!” My eyes cast shadows not dissimilar to those of flames along his face. Cass said nothing. I turned back to face Lilith who had been watching our little interlude with a smirk.

“You will lose someone tonight, Sam. Choose.” I frantically scrambled for a way out. 

I locked my eyes on Dean who was silently pleading for me not to do what I so badly wanted. I looked away from them both, eyes filled with tears. If I saved Dean and survived he would always look at me like a monster, if I wasn't actually one, and Ruby would die. If I didn't I lost him. I took a deep breath and tried to shove all that power back down. My efforts must have been visible because Dean took a deep breath, sighing in relief. 

“Not a wise decision, Sam.” 

I tried to steele myself for what was coming, tried to brace myself. Dean locked eyes with me, breathing heavily as Lilith slowly wrenched his head, twisting his neck. She was giving me plenty of time to reconsider but despite my seizing heart, I knew I couldn't. His breath came rapidly and tears slid out the corners of his eyes. I could see the pain on his face and I fell to my knees trying to shove my power down that was trying to rise up at the look on his face, battling myself. I wanted to look away so badly. I didn't want to watch this, but if he could go through it, so would I. 

My whole body jerked like I'd come to a full body stop in the middle of a free fall, my heart wrenched and I screamed as the crunching, pop of his neck breaking resounded through the room, slicing through my heart like a dagger under the ribs. I curled in on myself, fighting the tide. I was screaming, body shaking as I waged war within myself. My misery and terror at what I had just forced myself to witness added fuel to the fire and my spine bowed a second before I broke. My power exploded, like a shaken up can of soda that had been stabbed. I heard Lilith screaming in tandem with me, smelled burning flesh. Oh god! I was killing Ruby. I could only cry as I realized I couldn't stop this. 

“SSSAAAAAAMM!” My heart clenched in upon itself as I heard Ruby scream my name. I don't know how exactly I knew it was her, I just did. My skin crawled and tears poured from my eyes, my screams took on a mournful tenor. All this power and I had no power to stop myself. 

Dean was dead and I was killing Ruby. If I was going to kill Lilith anyway I should have just saved Dean. I heard a very wet noise not too far from me and Lilith screamed no more. Only my screams punctuated the silence now. I was going to destroy the world because I couldn't control my powers.   
I felt the power tearing me apart. I felt as if my skin was being flayed from my body, little hooks pulling chunks of my muscles and ligaments away. Something ate at the soft parts hidden beneath my ribs as another something fractured and splintered my bones one millimeter at a time. I couldn't pull the air into my lungs needed to scream. The pain consumed me, the power eating away at my body as it blasted out in waves. I felt my power pulling back into whatever was left of me, the pain briefly receding. I had time to send one last thought toward the heavens.   
I'm sorry. 

Then it was all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- I'm sorry if Cass' POV bored anyone but I thought it was touching and very necessary to take a moment to honor the first hunter to fall in my story. Love ya, Ash! Sorry buddy!
> 
> I will be continuing this story on here instead of a separate part 2. So, I will see you all next chapter. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please R&R. Ta-ta for now, lovelies!


	18. Chapter 18

Castiel's POV

Sam's scream echoed around the bare, concrete room, mournful and pained, making my heart seize. A blinding reddish-purple light was emanating from him, growing more intense and gaining in radius. I rushed over to where Dean's body had fallen, pulling him into my arms. What was once Ruby was a mess of melted flesh, blood and gore, bone decorating the floor where she had fallen in glistening bits of pinkened pearl, much like an obscene glitter. Sam stopped screaming, the silence almost worse, and the hum of energy flowing through the room thickened, making it impossible to breathe. I took Dean and flew, popping up at the rendezvous spot about ten miles away. I heard Jo before I saw her, panic ringing clearly in her plaintive cry as I moved toward the small group. I placed Dean gently on the grass, kneeling next to him and frantically felt for a pulse. I sighed and my head fell to hang loosely between my shoulder blades.

“What happened to him? Cass, what happened!” Her voice was rising as she ran her hands over Dean searching for a wound. “I- I can't find a wound! Is he okay? Cass? Is he alive?” I lifted my head up with a smile.

“He will be just fine.” I said before Placing my fingers against his forehead. 

I both felt and heard the twisted bones in his neck re-knit. His eyes flew open as he took a screaming inhale in and sat bolt upright, searching around him as if looking for something or someone. I knew who he was looking for. We all flinched when we heard a huge explosion behind us. The birds in the trees in the park around us filled the sky in a rampage of feathers and fearful squawks, fleeing the opposite direction from the convent. The ground rumbled beneath us as if it were tempted to fall out from under our feet. I felt the vibrations of the explosion rumble through my body like I was a tuning fork, my ears rang and then a profound silence wrapped around this part of the world so that I could only hear the rapid breathing of my companions.

“GET DOWN!” I yelled, throwing myself on top of Dean a second before the aftershock of the explosion swept over us. 

I'm not sure who'd had the time to get down but the shock wave raked over me, blowing my coat and shirt up, exposing the bare flesh of my back. I hissed as the force of it burned across my skin and my head connected with the ground hard enough to rattle my teeth. I dug my hands into the dirt but felt my lower half lift off the ground. Dean's arms wrapped around my shoulders his legs locking around my waist, pulling me closer, in a moment of near intimacy that would haunt me in later days, as he buried his face in my chest. Then it was over. I gently, almost reluctantly pulled free of Dean and jumped to my feet, surveying the damage. Ellen, Jo, Bobby and Rufus were about twenty yards back. I ran to them as they were all crowding around Rufus who had been unfortunate enough to collide with a tree. Bobby's arm was broken from impact with the side of a stone bench not too far off to the right of the group. Ellen had a gash on her forehead. Jo had only sustained minor scrapes and a significant amount of grass and dirt stains. I healed them one at a time. As I was healing Ellen Dean came forward.

“What happened? Where is Sam?” I winced in time with Ellen then turned around to look at him then back at the faces of the people behind me. 

They all seemed to be waiting for an answer. I opened my mouth to explain when a beam of brilliant white-blue light speared into the heavens, illuminating the destruction of the blast before us. A minor rumble accompanied by a subsonic ringing swept through the atmosphere. We stopped to stare and when it was over almost thirty seconds later a brief silence fell over the lot of us. 

“You better get to explaining, Cass!” Jo exclaimed, whirling to point her finger at me.

“Lilith is dead.” A thick silence fell over the crowd. “That was the final seal breaking on Lucifer's cage.” 

“That?” Bobby gestured vaguely in the direction of the church. “That blue beam of light we just saw? That was the seal breaking? Not the explosion that just rocked us and destroyed a huge chunk of the city?” I nodded my head.

“Then what the hell was the explosion from? Did you plant a bomb in the church or something?” Ellen's voice was thick with agitation. 

“I have a better question.” I looked at Dean, knowing what he was going to ask and wishing he wouldn't. “Where is Sam?” I just stared for a few moments. Dean stepped forward so that he was standing only a few feet back. “Where is my brother, Cass?” His voice quivered with the edge of tears and I could almost feel everyone holding their breath. 

“I don't think he meant to, Dean. From what I saw he waged war against himself.”

“Meant? Waged?” He stared unblinkingly at me. He hadn't missed the past tense and I knew that he already knew what I was going to say but he needed to hear it. I saw the world through a shimmering wall of tears.

“What is the last thing you remember, Dean?” He swallowed a few times before answering.

“Lilith using her demon hoodoo to throw Sam across the room and pull me to her. Her forcing me to my knees in front of her.” He took a breath in. “I remember staring at Sam as Lilith broke my neck.” I nodded.

“After your body hit the ground Sam-” I searched for the words I wanted, “He- Sam lost control. He... went nuclear?” I was unsure of my terminology but from the look of dismay on Dean's face I knew my vernacular had been right. “Lilith...Ruby, both died. I saw what was left of them before I grabbed you and got out.” 

“And Sam? Did he make it out?” He squeezed his eyes shut, tears slipping free. “Please. Please tell me he made it out.” He was quiet for a moment and I watched his fists shake at his sides, his bottom lip slightly trembling. “Please.” His voice was nothing but a whisper. I didn't want to say it but he was going to make me.

“No, Dean. Sam didn't make it out.” I had to swallow down my own emotions and even then my next words came out as a whisper. “He died...Sam is dead. He's dead.” I took a few calm, steadying breaths. “Oh god, I'm so sorry, Dean!” 

My voice cracked slightly on the last few words and I looked down at the ground as a mournful silence settled over the group. I heard someone crying. There would be no body to burn this time to help them move on. Sam couldn't receive the funeral he deserved, nor Dean the closure he needed. I moved my head to follow Dean as he walked through the group and continued walking. He stopped about forty yards away and just fell to the ground, folding his legs Indian style. I couldn't look at Dean so instead I watched the hearts break of the hunters before me. Ellen held a sobbing Bobby, his face buried in the hair at her neck. His heart wrenching sobs speared through me making me realize I had been crying for some time now. Jo and Rufus stood stock still watching Ellen and Bobby, tears running silently down their faces. Dean stood suddenly and came to stand before me, determination written in the hard lines of his face. His face was free of any signs of tears, as if he simply couldn't bring himself to cry just yet.

“We are going to save Sam. Do you hear me? I will not leave him to rot.” His voice was hard but his eyes flinched a little at the scene before him. Bobby was like a father to Dean so I knew how badly this must hurt him on top of everything. “Get us back to Bobby's house. We have work to do.”

··········  
Two months later

I sighed deeply as I walked to the refrigerator, pulling it open to grab a beer. I stared dismally down at the drink, almost wishing the answers Dean was seeking were at the bottom of the bottle. I hear the sounds of what I had come to know as a screw gun and the thud, thud, thud of a hammer. The rest of us had busied ourselves with cleaning up the mess of the giant battle we had fought here. The house was mostly whole again, minus the windows, which were still boarded up. We had decided against calling in a contractor to install new windows until we stopped finding bits of human and demon here and there, which seemed to hide in the oddest of places. I turned around and walked back into the study to see Dean where I left him, surrounded by mountains of books, Bobby's desk covered in ancient looking tomes open to seemingly random pages. 

“Here.” I said, holding out the open beer in my hand. 

Dean reached up and accepted it without looking away from the book he was thumbing through. I stood there staring at him. His eyes were surrounded by dark, sleepless circles. His hair was the longest I'd ever seen it, oily from his fingers running through it too much and not enough showering. Over the last two months Dean had lost weight, a lot of it. If I could pull him away from his research long enough to get some food and drink, water not beer, in him and maybe a shower, if I was lucky, it was a good day. His collarbones protruded creating a shallow cavern in the flesh on both sides of it and my stomach did that twisting thing that made me feel slightly sick.

“Dean.” He didn't even look up, I doubt he even knew I had been standing there. “You need to eat.” Again I was met with silence. 

The first few weeks after Sam all of us had been part of Dean's relentless search for a way to save his brother. It had worn everyone down and filled there eyes with a hollow look similar to that of a soldiers who had accepted defeat, death. I was the one who had gotten them to redirect their focus to fixing up the house and grounds. Dean's antics had kept all of us from mourning properly. He always kept presenting us with plans half baked enough to give us hope then break our hearts all over again when they failed. I was not exempt from this. I wasn't sure how many more failures everyone could take.

“If I make you some food, will you eat it?” No response. 

My eyes stung with tears of helplessness. I turned around and went to the kitchen. Five minutes later I placed a plate before him with a sandwich, with everything I knew he liked on it, chips, some pasta salad Ellen had made the day before and a pickle. I had laid the plate right on top of the book he was looking through, fingers still gripping the plate.

“Please. Eat, Dean.” 

He was sitting stock still, tension singing through him, staring at the plate as if he could see through it to the book underneath. I let go of the plate and stood up straight, watching him do what he had done every time someone had brought him food. He picked the plate up and sat it on top of a stack of books on the corner of the desk. I closed my eyes and sighed, turning away and walking out of the house. I usually sat with him poring over the thousands of years of knowledge in Bobby's library. Someone had to. I didn't know what Dean would do if he ever thought that we had abandoned him. I spent the next three hours fixing a section of fence five cars lengths long. I had been getting better at the “handy man stuff” as Jo called it. Bobby called to me over a few rows of cars.

“Cass, why don't you join us? Ellen went to pick up some pizza.” I nodded and waited for him, Rufus and Jo to disappear into the maze of cars. 

I went back to staring at the fence I had just mended. It looked good. All I had left to do was paint it. I threw the hammer in my hand at the fence, embedding it in the wood. I stared at it for a second or two more before I raised my hand and waved it at the fence sending all my careful work splintering in an arc of wood nails and screws. As it all finished falling to the ground, looking as if something had driven through the fence I smiled. I undid the section of the fence I had mended two days before as well with a smile. I had been slowly undoing some things or creating more things that had to be mended around here. I had to provide them all with something to keep them distracted until Dean gave up this fight and mourned Sam the way he needed to. I walked back to the house and heard light conversation coming from the kitchen. Ellen's car was in the driveway so it was safe to assume she was back with pizza and probably soda or beer. I stopped in the doorway to the study, seeing Dean still sitting at the desk, the plate of food I had given him before I went to work on the fence still sitting where he had put it, untouched. I felt rage spark through me and fought to keep it under control. Dean didn't seem to notice me standing there or the light talk of his friends and companions in the kitchen. I felt eyes on me and briefly glanced at Ellen who was watching me, sipping the soda in her hand. I looked back at Dean to see him lifting a beer to his lips, the condensation running down the side of it told me it was relatively new and looking to the floor to his right showed me in the three hours I had been outside he had put away almost two dozen beers. I snapped. I was in front of Dean in a blink, the beer still at his lips. I snatched the bottle away from him, closed my fingers around it and smashed it on the open pages of the book he had been looking through. This was enough to startle him into action. I could have moved but I didn't. I stayed where I was, leaned over the desk, one palm pushed into the broken glass of the bottle, the other flat on yet another open book. I stood there as Dean drew the knife at his belt and pushed the point of it into my flesh. I felt the first hot trickle of blood on my neck. I let my rage and concern fill my eyes as I stared into the pure rage, almost hatred shining out of his eyes. The hatred baffled me for a moment.

“Eat.” I said. 

He leaned in to me a little, digging the point of the knife in a bit more. If he was expecting a reaction he didn't get it. A thin beam of light escaped the small wound he had made in my throat. During one of his kamikaze missions to save Sam, where we had figured out that the angels wanted Dean to be a vessel for the archangel Michael, I had given him an angel blade so that he could defend himself from angel or demon. Now that very blade was pressed into my flesh. He could very well kill me, but I would not move. 

“I'm a bit busy.” He growled into my face from inches away.

“Cass, back away and leave him alone.” Ellen stood off to the right so I could see her out of my peripherals. It was then that I realized everything had fallen silent. Everyone was watching us. I never looked away from Dean.

“I used to pray that we could find a way, any way, to raise Sam from perdition. Now I pray to God that he give you the strength to give up.” Dean's eyes flinched a little but the rest of him stood stock still. Then the point dug in a bit more and what had been a thin trickling of blood thickened, flowed faster, the light grew a little brighter.

“In little under a month Sam will have been in hell for as long as I was there.” More pressure on the blade as he leaned in to where he was only one hard breath away from touching me. “I will never give up on him. Never!” I took a deep breath past the now sharp pain of the knife.

“You need to let him go and properly mourn him. You are killing yourself, Dean.”

“I DON'T CARE!” 

I flinched a little at those harsh words, screamed in my face from an inch away. Then my rage spiked and tears broke free to trail down my face. I was the one who leaned into the blade at my throat, pushing it in to where a little more pressure would sever something critical. I saw a brief, almost nonexistent flash of panic in Dean's eyes, that if I had blinked I would have missed, as he glanced down at the blade before I was too close to look at him, but he didn't move the blade. The side of my mouth brushed against his as I spoke. 

“You don't care? You don't care!” My laugh sounded like if it could brush against your skin it would feel like a steel sponge, and I felt him shiver a little. “Do you care that you are killing us, all of us one day, one failure at a time. Do you care that every day we have to carry on like we aren't watching you die kills a little piece of us. Do you care that we can't mourn Sam because you won't let us?” I felt the wetness of his tears and pulled away so fast that the blade sliced a shallow cut along the surface of my skin. Dean flinched and looked down at the blade in his hand. I stood in front of the desk, watching Dean, tracking the misery in his eyes, the tears running down his face.

“I can't give him up. I don't know how, and that you could ask me to shows me that I don't need you.” My heart seized for a few moments and tears stung at my eyes before a liquid hot rage rolled through me.

“YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO LOST SAM!” Dean stumbled back at the almost roar of anger. I remembered watching Sam fight against himself, the way his magic tore him apart. The ghost of his screams crept along my skin, haunting me. “We all lost him, Dean! You won't let us heal. You won't heal and we are haunted daily by the fact that you are going to die too if you can't let him go!” Tears poured down my face. And my next words came out choked with pain. “I don't know if we will be able to handle losing you.” I shook my head, “We lost Ash. We lost Sam. We cannot lose you too...we won't survive.” That last we sounded more like an I to me, but I wouldn't take it back. Dean was just staring at me now, anguish written across his face. Dean let out a small sob before turning around and making to leave the room. He stopped in the doorway and turned his head enough that I could see the side of his face, gleaming with tears. 

“You should have saved Sam. He is the one who matters.” He swallowed hard a coupled times. “You should have saved him...or left me there to die with him.” His voice sounded hollow. He turned to face the hallway and his next words broke whatever was left of my heart. “I WILL save Sam. No one will stop me. So, the next time you find your way beneath my blade will be the last.” Then he disappeared around the corner. I stood there, staring after him with my broken heart pouring out of my eyes. I felt like the tears simply couldn't come fast enough to vent my pain. I jumped as I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder. I turned my head to see Ellen standing next to me with Jo right behind her. Jo's eyes were wide as she stared at me, as if were she to blink she would cry.

“Come on, love. Lets get you cleaned up.” 

I looked down to see my shirt soaked with blood and a small pool of blood on the floor at my feet as blood dripped from my hand onto the floor. I nodded and went with the two women into the kitchen. They sat me down at the table and Jo went to dig the first aid kit out from under the sink while Ellen looked my hand over. Bobby and Rufus made it a point to busy themselves with something in the study. Jo stood behind Ellen nervously, watching Ellen pull shards of glass out of my hand. When one piece of glass was imbedded so deep that blood squirted free in an arc onto Ellen's jeans Jo excused herself, looking a little pale. I smiled. A hunter, squeamish around blood. Ellen was bandaging my hand before she finally spoke.

“He didn't mean what he said.” I didn't even look at her face when I responded.

“Yes he did.”

“He may have meant it now but he'll see. There will come a time when he will remember what we mean to him and then he will regret what he said and do anything to make up for it.” She fell silent, her hands stilling until I looked at her. “Words are powerful things. Once said they can never be unsaid. When that time comes It will take the both of you to fix things. He won't be able to mend what he just tore in a moment of grief unless you are willing to forgive him.” She must have continued binding my hand at some point, but I hadn't noticed because I couldn't seem to look away from her face. Her fingers drifted across my hand in a final touch before she stood to prop herself on the table in front of me, leaving only a foot or so of space between us. She tipped my head back to look at the wound in my neck then started grabbing supplies to bandage it. 

“This is going to need stitches. It'll scar if it doesn't get the attention it needs.” 

I was going to protest that I didn't need stitches but remembered that the wound was from an angel blade, so I would heal almost human slow. And it would indeed scar if left unattended. Ellen's face was close to mine as she tended to the wound. I felt the sharp pricks of pain as she began stitching my skin back together but strained to stare at her face. She was beautiful, the years of hard living only adding a certain grace, wisdom and intense strength to her features. Her eyes were critical of every detail as if nothing could slip her gaze. I could see why Bobby loved her. It had not slipped my notice how Bobby looked after this woman, trailing her movements, watching out for her in combat to the point of distraction. He loved Ellen, but I knew he would never tell her. Her eyes caught mine then she went back to focusing on her work.

“Do you love him, Cass?” My heart fluttered a little as I searched for an answer. Her fingers froze as she watched my face. “Cass? Do you love him?” She had asked if I loved him not if I was in love with him, though that was what I thought she was asking. I did love Dean. It was how I loved him that I was not familiar with. I wanted to turn my face away so she couldn't watch the emotions run across my face but couldn't due to her attentions on the wound at my throat. A small smile graced the corners of her lips as she went back to tending my wound. She must have gotten the answer she was looking for in my silence because I could almost feel her happiness and sincerity.

“Then you can't give up on him.” In that second I thought I heard a slight criticism in her voice. “You never give up on someone you love.” Her eyes flicked to mine for a brief moment. Yes, she was criticizing me for my earlier words and I was suddenly very defensive.

“He needs to let go.” She shook her head and again her fingers stopped as she leaned a little more solidly into my line of sight.

“If you truly love someone there is no way for you to let them go. It is like cutting a part of yourself away because no matter if they are gone out of your life or dead, they will always be a part of you. You cannot erase memories, Cass. They are what make us who we are.” She blinked away the beginnings of tears and I knew she had lost someone she truly loved. “Dean and Sam have been together their entire lives. That's a lot of memories. To let go of Sam would kill him.” I was crying again. Crying for Dean, for Ellen, Jo, Bobby, Rufus, for what came with this knowledge, for Ellen's bittersweet wisdom. 

“How do we save him?” Because that was the only question that mattered. Her fingers fell still as she smiled down at me. She leaned forward and placed a chaste, motherly kiss on my cheek. When she pulled back her lips shone with a sheen of my tears.

“You stay with him, no matter what. Show him he has something more to live for.” I smiled and my eyes slid closed. Ellen's fingers resumed their healing and a hopeful peace settled over us both in the companionable silence.

~~~§~~~  
Dean's POV

Two months I had spent looking for a way to save him and I finally found it. I walked further into the salvage yard, everything I needed slung over my shoulder. Regret twinged within my heart as the image of Castiel seared itself into the back of my eyes. I shook my head violently. I needed to stay on task. I looked around surrounded by two vans, a truck that looked like it was ready to just fall apart in a pile of rust and dust, and a Chevy that looked like it could be beautiful with some work, a lot of work. If I crouched down no one would be able to find me. I sank into a crouch and began unloading my bag. I drew the circle with the sigils needed then inlaid the circle with a devil's trap. I got the bowl of sulfur set up and grabbed the knife off my belt and wrapped my fingers around it, squeezing my fist tight then sharply ripping the knife out of my hand. There was no pain to the initial cut so I knew I had sliced too deep, but the ritual called for a lot of blood. I mumbled the Latin chant I had been memorizing all day, lighting the five candles starting at the southern most tip, working around clockwise from there. I lit the last candle as the final syllable left my lips and the flames shot up about seven or so feet then the candles went out. I peeked over the top of the SUV, facing the house as if I could notice if someone saw that. I sank back down, hoping I was still in the clear, waiting for something to happen. Minutes passed by, five then ten and I fell back on my ass in defeat, dropping my head onto my upraised knees. It was supposed to work. I was sure it would work. The slice on my hand began to sting and I thought vaguely that it would need stitches. 

“'Ello, Darling! I was expecting your call.” I looked up to see a man around six feet tall with dark hair cut close to his head, dark eyes, with five o'clock shadow making his jaw and chin look dark as well in the moonlight. He was impeccably dressed in a suit with a long coat, falling to mid-calf, as if he was cold. “Where in the seven hells are we? Such a dismal place to make such memories, don't you think? Really? This is the first impression you want to leave on me? You've got a lot to learn, love.” The man shook his head “The first time should be beautiful.” He tsked almost as if he truly cared about the setting. I raised my eyebrows at the quirky demon before me. “Well? Take a picture. I certainly won't look like this forever. Oh wait...yes I will.” He laughed a little then put his hands on his hips. “I have a lot to do, princess so if you like to open that trap of yours and spill your wishes, I'll wave my magic wand then go about my day.” When I remained silent he rolled his eyes. “Newbies.” He looked at me and leaned forward, placing his hands on his knees, a stupid grin stretching his mouth. “This is the part where you say what you want and I see you in ten years.” He spoke in that voice most reserved for small animals and babies. I frowned.

“Who are you?” The demon rolled his eyes again.

“Ah, Hell. Call me back in a few years when you've figured everything out and we can try this again, 'kay bunny?” He gave me a lazy, mock salute then a few seconds later his face crashed into angry yet intrigued lines.

“Who are you?” My voice was flat with everything but a threat. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it. The demon eyed me up then rotated in a circle looking at what was trapping him. He huffed a huge sigh then locked eyes with me.

“Crowley, King of hell, at your service.” I smiled as the man gave a rather graceful though mocking bow with an uneasy grin. I was going to get Sam one way or another.


	19. Chapter 19

Dean's POV

 

It had worked! The king of Hell was standing here before me and I had him trapped. 

“Well get on with it, Winchester. I really do have more important things to do.” I cocked my head to the side. 

“And what does the king of Hell do exactly?” Crowley scoffed and then laughed.

“What? You think Hell just runs itself?” He laughed a deep belly laugh. “As if, mate!” I just stared at him and he rolled his eyes. “If you really need a philosophy lesson, I guess I have no choice but to give it to you.” He looked disdainfully down at the circle he was standing in. “Hell is where all the baddies go. A place of evil. According to most, evil equates to chaos. Do you know how hard it is to maintain order and control over such anarchy?” I raised my eyebrows and rubbed my thumb and forefinger together which earned me another eye roll from Crowley.

“Yes, yes, the worlds smallest violin no doubt playing a fucked up version of that horrible Justin Timberlake song.” He waved at me in a shooing motion then bobbled his head a little as he continued talking, almost absently. “Still can't believe the things people sell their soul for.” He shook his head. “Did you know that Timberlake used to be a two-bit, wannabe dancer. No one wanted him because people with his dancing skills are a dime a dozen in this day and age. Even that pretty, pretty face of his couldn't buy him fame. Sold his soul for a billion dollar voice and sounds like a girl only a couple of years more mature than Justin Bieber.” He shivered a little then gently grabbed the lapels of his jacket and adjusted it. “Another one who sold his soul for what you people call talent. If it weren't for my like, no talent, anal beads like Miley Cyrus would never have a chance at taking their place as boils on the butt of humanity.” He shrugged. “I guess everyone has a purpose though.” He looked at me with a comical smile. “Miley actually had some potential. She started off innocently enough if you ignore the fact that she rode the coattails of her fathers fame to get some recognition. Then she rode that wrecking ball right into her career.” He sucked his teeth and shook his head. “Should have stuck to acting. Some people are just never satisfied. The media frenzy when she just disappears in two years will be fearsome.” His face crashed down into aggravated lines. “The damned aliens will take credit for it,just like they did with Elvis. Now that man had talent.” 

I shook my head vehemently and held my hands out to stop his tirade. Who put this guy on the throne of hell?

“Crowley!” I said, cutting him off mid-sentence. He looked at me as if he'd forgotten I was there. “I don't give a fuck who sells their soul to you guys for what, especially two bit stars.”

“Rude much?” He said with a scowl. I nodded.

“Yes. But I don't care.”

“And what if I told you that I didn't care about what you wanted.” Crowley's voice was flat, face blank minus one raised eyebrow.

A sliver of panic shot through me. Okay. He is a testy demon. I looked down at the circle I had constructed.

“You have no choice.” He smiled wickedly.

“Are you always so naive? You set our little date up under the stars, how cute. But eventually it will rain. And when I am free I will tear you apart limb from limb and feed you to my bitches.” I pointed to the circle. 

“The circle is of paint, salt and blood. It won't fade that easily.” He frowned slightly then straightened his face out. I smiled.

“Clever, squirrel. Very clever. But I wouldn't underestimate me, nor piss me off, were I you.” His voice was icy so I left it alone. He might be my only option. I wouldn't push too much for now. “What do you want, Dean?” I swallowed.

“My brother.” Crowley just stared at me, face painfully stoic. “I will give you anything for him.” He stared at me in silence for a few minutes too long and panic set in, partially closing my throat. 

“No.” One word, spoken with no inflection. I opened my mouth to speak then closed it multiple times, like a fish out of water gasping for air. 

“I'll give myself over to you now, take his place. Anything. I'll do anything! I don't need a year, I'll go now, right now. Just swear that you will bring him back.” Crowley's face never changed nor his voice.

“No. I don't want you.” I actually stumbled getting to my feet, terror like ice in my veins.

“You are a demon. Souls are what demons want. Take it in exchange for Sam.”

“Your soul holds no value to me so you have nothing to offer.”

“I am the archangel Michael's vessel.” Crowley's eyes bugged. “Does my soul have value to you now?” The challenge was clear in my voice. He seemed to be thinking hard about it.

“No.” He said finally. I felt my face pull into a deep frown.

“Why?”

“Tell me, squirrel. What would you offer me to see your brother alive again?”

“Anything! Everything!”

“Anything?” I nodded. “Even the souls of your friends? All of them? Ellen. Jo. Bobby. Rufus. Everyone you have ever loved and cherished.” 

I found my eyes searching around for an answer. Any answer that wasn't as damning as the one in my heart. I loved them. But did I love them enough to hold their lives above Sam's. This might be the only offer I would get. Could I live with myself? Crowley's cold, harsh laugh snapped my eyes to lock on him.

“You would offer what is not yours to give and have given me the world on a silver platter. For one...” He seemed to be searching for the right word then finished, “-man.” He bent over laughing, arms crossed over his stomach.

“I never said anything.” He stood and wiped tears from under his eyes, face going startlingly blank.

“Not with your lips, but your eyes told me all I needed to know.” My heart beat double time in my chest.

“But I didn't agree to anything.” Fear ran through my veins like fine wine with an icy edge.

“No. But were I to offer you the same deal again and mean it I would wager my favorite hound you would not say no.” I felt tears fill my eyes and I looked at the ground. He made some noise, that kind of sounded like disgust and when I looked at him I saw rage on his face.

“Be very grateful that I am saying no.”

“What? Why?” He glared at me and if looks could kill I would be splintered in small meaty bits in a colorful pattern across the ground.

“I, unlike you, Dean Winchester, have honor. I will not allow you to get something you want by giving what is not yours to give.”

“But you asked and I never answered.” He glared at me.

“Even I won't associate with men like you.” I sputtered then rage consumed me.

“You are a demon! Do your fucking job or stay trapped until the fucking sun explodes!” Crowley stepped up to the edge of the circle. 

“I am the king of Hell! And this is me telling you to fuck off!” 

He slammed his hands forward against the usually invisible barrier the circle formed. Where his hands hit a shock-wave of colors began spreading, like the rainbow of colors that gleams around bubbles. The ground beneath my feet shook, knocking me back so that I had to catch myself against the side of the SUV. The earth split until the circle containing Crowley was bisected. He shrugged his jacket into a more comfortable position. He calmly stepped out of the circle with a slight smile on his lips as the last tremors faded.

“Now. Dean Winchester. As before, my people will remain to be instructed to avoid you. No one will answer your call.” His eyes locked onto mine and I swear the cold of his stare made my eyes sting. “Blow up my inbox if you wish, but I will not answer your call. There is no spell or ritual you could conjure up that could ever force me to come to you again.” He smiled then. “Your brother is dead and if you push me too much, Dean, you and everyone else you care for will be too. Get over it you whiny little piss-ant!” With that he disappeared.

 

~~~§~~~  
Castiel's POV

 

I stood from my position behind the SUV. I had heard the entire conversation, watched Dean make preparations for the summoning. Now as I walked towards him, stopping barely three feet from him I wondered. What had his face betrayed to Crowley that I had not heard in his words? Dean stood still, wobbling slightly, staring at the split circle and my heart seized at the painful resignation on his face. I knew he couldn't see me as I was an angel and until we wished to be seen we wouldn't be. I dared not show myself to him. He had meant to do this in secret, going so far as to sneak out of his window. I had found him missing when I went to apologize for acting as I had earlier. Now I didn't know how to feel about the man before me. I knew how my heart felt, but that was just one part of me. 

“You would offer that which is not yours to give.” What had he meant. Had Dean really contemplated giving everyone else up, all of us? Me? For Sam. A choked sob, abruptly cut off made me look up. Dean's head sagged low on his neck, hand shoved against his mouth, fingers digging in painfully on his cheeks. I began reaching out to him then stopped and let my arm fall back to my side. He stood there crying silently, shoulders shaking with each sob he fought off. I watched him until he turned on his heel and trudged in defeat back to the house. Long after he was gone I stared after him, wondering what to do, how to feel.

“Pathetic isn't it?” 

My whole body tensed at once until it felt like my muscles were steel cables and I would be unable to move. I turned, slowly to face a middle aged man with short blond hair and light stubble gracing his cheeks up to the soft arc of his cheek bones. Soft blue eyes shone compassionately at me, but I was not fooled. A brilliant smile spread across the thin, pale pink width of those lips.

“Hello brother.” I dipped my head in acknowledgment. I wished I didn't have to claim kinship to him, but it was the truth.

“Brother.” He cocked his head to the side.

“So formal, Castiel. Why so crisp when I just saw how mushy you can be.” He glanced at the house where Dean had disappeared. “Being among the humans has changed you so much, little brother.” He looked back at me with a knowing look. “There is a war coming, brother.”

“Has been since the beginning.” He nodded. 

“You know this. I know this. You know you will have to choose a side.” I nodded. “Who will you stand with?” I stared at him but did not answer. “Will you stand with Michael? Or me?” When I still did not answer he smiled. “There is no neutral ground to stand on. This chess game of black vs. white has been going on for time immemorial and now the final pieces are being moved into play. You must pick a side. Even if you try to stand neutral you and yours will be mowed over as collateral damage. No one, nothing will be spared when the final battle plays out.” 

I looked down at the ground beneath my feet then off to the house where Rufus, Jo, Bobby, Ellen and Dean were. They had all sacrificed so much. They had all given husbands, wives, children, friends, lovers, mothers, fathers. They had sacrificed everything for their fight, their belief in humanity and life, even among so much death. They were all they had left, yet still they sacrificed it all to save a handful at a time. I looked back at the man in front of me to see him looking at the house as well. 

“You cannot save them, Castiel. The Winchester boy is meant to be my opponent in this war. It has been predestined, so will it be.” I shook my head.

“You were the one who invented the evils that I have watched humanity fight. They have been fighting you since this began.” I smiled. “I know Dean well enough to know he will not be a pawn in this fight, not as you think he will.” His face was stoic.

“Pawns are so easily taken. The soldiers on the front line. Willing sacrifices for the greater cause.” I nodded.

“In most cases.” I locked eyes with him. “But a pawn can topple a queen as easily as a knight or rook.”

“One lone pawn against the might of so many? So much power?” I shook my head. 

“It will not be just one.”

“You would choose to stand against Michael? Me? And the tides of the fates? For the Winchester boy?” I stared at the house with a small smile on my face. A smile that was more certain than anything else. I looked back.

“Yes.” Lucifer stared at me with a calculating look. Then he smiled a most friendly smile that I found unsettling.

“You are not so very unlike myself Castiel. Were I you I would keep my story as a precautionary tale at the back of your mind. Remember what happens to rebels, brother.” I shook my head, smile growing which made him frown. “You cannot change everything in the hopes of winning for your Winchester.”

“No, that is where you are wrong. You cannot win, Lucifer.” I smiled wider and looked at the house again. “Your true vessel is dead. I watched it happen. You will never be at your full strength to stand against Michael.” I looked back at him with that almost sadistic grin stretching my lips. “Though neither will Michael. Neither of you will be at full power and even if we can't change everything, we have quite a jump on the both of you already.” His face was blank, angry lines at the corners of his mouth and eyes. 

“The angels want this fight. It will not just be Michael and myself you will have to stand against.”

“I know.”

“Are you ready for such a challenge, Castiel?” 

“Is anyone ever ready when war stands on their doorstep?” He nodded his head.

“The might of heaven and hell, the will of the fates, War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. How you think to stand against it all baffles me.” I just looked at him and as his eyes roved over me landing last on my eyes I knew he was weighing me, my competence, strength, will. He finally offered me a small smile and nodded. “I appreciate a challenge, and those who choose to stand against one. You stand against many, brother. I do not know if you are as worthy an adversary as your words make you seem just yet. But I do wish you luck in your foolish ventures.” I dipped my head in acknowledgment and waited either for him to continue or take his leave. He smiled.

“What? You will not wish me luck, little brother?” 

I had the niggling sense that I was being rude to deny him that which he gave me so I did give him something. I stepped forward until I could pull him into my arms. This seemed to shock him. I would not wish him luck because I wanted us to win. But I had been around humans for a while now and something about their presence, their beliefs and the intensity of them that had changed something in me. I did not really know Lucifer, just the stories, legends of what he had done, prophecies surrounding him of what would be, but not the Angel himself. I did know that he is my brother. I regretted that and that knowing nothing about him I still stood against him. I was going to stand against not one, but two of my brothers, the strongest of us. I was in fact more like him than I'd ever thought. I, like him, was rebelling for what I believed in. Michael fought for good (the corrupt version the angels believed in, that I was no longer certain was good). Lucifer fought for evil. I would fight for the humans, a mix of good and evil that made them frightening and beautiful. I had chosen to make my own path. I had chosen to rebel against everything I had ever known as an angel. Lucifer's arms slowly wrapped around me as these thoughts flitted through my head. I pulled back first, catching a brief moment of soft confusion and tenderness. I placed my palm against his cheek.

“I wish we did not have to fight each other. I do not want to fight my family and I am sorry that you will find yourself fighting two brothers, not just one.” Lucifer actually looked sad, longing as he lifted his hand to cover mine against his cheek before gently removing my hand from his face and stepping back. 

“I wish that as well, little brother.” He turned around to leave and I just had to try. 

“I love him too.” He stopped. “Our father. I love him too.” I glanced back at the house holding the humans I was willing to give everything up for. “But I love the humans too. They are not as bad as you think.”

“They are flawed.”

“Are we not?”

“I will never be able to love them more than our father, he never should have asked that of us.” I looked at the back of his head as he spoke and couldn't agree with him because I already did love them more.

“Yes. They are flawed. But so are we. He made everything the way he did for a reason. If you truly love him than you should trust him and accept the things he did as a child does for their parents.”

“Do you doubt my love for our father?” I thought hard before I answered.

“No.” And I didn't. “I just think you love him too much, like a mother loves her only child.” He shook his head.

“No human emotions can compare to mine. I respect that you are rebelling for what you believe in. I did it too. But you are going to die for these...things.”

“Yes. If that is what it takes.” 

He nodded and began to move forward again. I wanted to ask him to reconsider. To tell him that all this could end here if he would just give the humans a chance, that he could love our father and the humans as well. But he was fading with each stride away from me.

“I am sorry, brother.” 

I'm not sure if he heard the words I called after him because with one final step he was gone. I sighed and began to walk back to the house. I had to get them ready. They needed to be ready. War was coming for them and I wouldn't let them stand alone. When I got to the house I saw Ellen and Bobby sitting on the couch together, very close together, Jo was doing some ridiculous dance with Rufus in the open space in the study. Ellen and Bobby were laughing, bumping casually together with their joy. I would ready them but I wanted them to have their night of joy. I walked in and quietly stood in the doorway to the study smiling, watching Jo and Rufus make a fool of themselves. Ellen suddenly looked up and saw me and her smile dimmed a little. She leaned into Bobby to whisper something in his ear and I watched his eyes slide shut as her side pressed into his chest, her hair brushing his face. He nodded and the moment was gone, face back to being smiling and happy as he pulled back and stood up, walking to the kitchen. She held her hand up and crooked a finger at me. I raised my eyebrow but stood straight from being propped against the doorjamb and walked towards her. She patted the seat Bobby had just vacated beside her with a smile. I smiled a little, taking the offered seat, though there was more room on the other side of her. She nuzzled her shoulder against mine and I smiled more, taking the hint. I lifted my arm and put it around her shoulders, pulling her close so that our bodies touched in a line from her shoulder to our knees. It was a closeness that I was unfamiliar with but had only recently found that I liked. What would have been sexual between her and Bobby was comfortable between us. She leaned her head back against my shoulder as she looked up at me.

“What's wrong, handsome?” I smiled wider, looking down at her. There was something about Ellen that was so very endearing that I didn't want to lie to her. But I did.

“Nothing. I went for a walk to clear my head and my thoughts got the better of me.” She ran her eyes over my face as if searching for something and I saw a knowing gleam in her eyes before she looked back at Jo and Rufus, taking a drink of what looked like a soda but I could smell the difference and knew there was some alcohol in it, a decent amount. She nodded.

“It happens to the best of us.” 

I could hear the alcohol in her words so I knew she'd been drinking for a while. But I also knew that she knew I wasn't telling her everything and I couldn't stand to see her turn from me. Her body was against mine but the comfort and relaxation that had been there a moment before was gone and I already mourned it. I leaned down so that I could speak only to her. She moved to make it easier for me, putting a hand on my thigh so that she could sit up straighter which pushed her body more into mine. My lips brushed her ear as I spoke we were so close, but I did not wish to ruin the mood. They all deserved their bit of happiness.

“In truth I have seen and learned much this night in the time I was outside. I will tell you all tomorrow, I swear. But for tonight it can wait.” 

I glanced at Rufus and Jo and the smile slid back across my face. I wished I could see this all the time, but it was just not meant to be. I made to lean back down to Ellen but stopped seeing her face inches away. She was staring intently at me. Despite our closeness their was no sexual anything to it. In fact she seemed to be examining me like a really close friend will, almost with that undertone of motherliness. 

“I would not steal the smiles that so seldom grace their faces.” She smiled a brilliant smile that I had never seen on her face before. It was filled with friendship and love and a mirror of that smile spread on my face but my heart raced. Tomorrow I would tell them what I had learned tonight and we would all live in terror of seeing such smiles die with their owners. I shoved the thought aside and laughed as Ellen threw her arms drunkenly around my neck, splashing some of her drink down my back. She planted a huge, sloppy kiss, that matched the clumsiness of her hug, on my cheek. She settled back in at my side and I looked up to see Bobby staring at us. When his eyes met mine it wasn't an entirely friendly stare. I broke his gaze and leaned down to speak to Ellen.

“You know he loves you, don't you?” Her head snapped in my direction and the smile that had been there a moment before was gone, a look almost like worry filling her eyes. She knew and didn't want anyone else to know. She finally nodded.

“I know. Bobby is a good man and he would never come to me and tell me for the same reasons I won't.”

“Why won't you?” She looked at me with a new clarity, something that hadn't been there before.

“We both lost our spouses to this life, Cass.” She looked down then at the drink she was swirling in her cup. “I'm not sure I could live through that twice.” 

I wanted to hold her close to me until the edge of tears in her voice was forever gone. Instead I lifted her face up to look at me with two fingers on her chin. I looked into those big, beautiful brown eyes of hers, swimming with heart break and said what I thought. 

“In this life we all live, love is the only thing that keeps us alive.” I had never loved like they had but my love for my father had been what had kept me as a soldier in the armies of heaven for so long. 

“It is also our greatest weakness and what kills us more effectively than anything else.” I thought for a heartbeat. 

“Everything has a weakness. Name one hero who didn't have an Achilles heel. You can't. They were stronger than the rest, but never invincible.” She smiled a little.

“Achilles heel. Nice.” She chuckled a bit but I only offered a small smile and went back to my point.

“Even Gods and Goddesses have their kryptonite. If you have to have a weakness, I can't think of one better than love.” Her smile widened. “Humans live finite lives and yours is shorter than most. Do not hold yourselves back from what you truly want when it could all be over tomorrow.” 

She let out a short, loud tearful laugh. I leaned forward and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around my waist and buried her face in my chest. We stayed like that for a couple minutes and when she pulled back her face shone with happiness, she leaned in and laid a very soft kiss on my cheek. And offered me that amazing smile, only the second of its kind I had seen. Then she surged to her feet with purpose. I grabbed her hand and pulled her back down. She looked at me, slightly confused. I shook my head.

“But you-”

“I know what I said.”

“Then why?” I smiled and tucked some hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear.

“Wait for a moment when alcohol is not polluting you so that he knows it is genuine.” She stared blankly at me for a moment then offered a small smile.

“You are pretty good at this stuff, cuddles.” I knew enough of humans to know that they gave nick names to people for varying reasons and smiled at what she had just dubbed me.

“Cuddles?” I asked with a light laugh and a raised eyebrow. She laughed then shrugged.

“Face it. You are cuddly for an angel.” Not with everyone, but I let it stand because with those in my present company I could not find an argument. I just laughed and gave her a quick hug. She grabbed my hand and stood, pulling me to my feet. 

“Come on.”

“Where are you dragging me to?” I asked, slightly laughing.

“To see if we can pollute you with alcohol.” She laughed and I couldn't help but to join her.


	20. Chapter 20

Castiel's POV 

There were twelve shot glasses sitting in front of me, Ellen sat across the table from me, Bobby stood next to the table filling the shots as I emptied them. Ellen slammed her last shot glass down on the table. We had been going shot for shot in the beginning until she had tapped out and handed off to Jo who had been less intoxicated then her mother...at the time. She had been all cocky ego for about fifteen minutes, slamming shots back. Then Rufus had replaced her followed by Bobby and now we were back to Ellen. 

In the beginning there had been twelve shots lined up for both sides, now there was three on Ellen's side. I was clearing two rounds of twelve shots before she would reload. As I finished with the second round of shouts and Began working on the third round Bobby had been pouring one by one, Ellen shook her head with a stupid, intoxicated smile. She held her hand up and out to the side.

“Someone tag me out.” 

Jo laughed and stumbled over Rufus's extended leg as he sat with his back propped against the doorway. Her palm smacked into her mothers and they did an almost graceful position swap. Ellen stood like she was being pulled by strings and Jo fell into the chair almost as fluidly as the liquor she kept pouring down her throat. I smiled then laughed as she raised her shot glass in a sloppy salute before attempting to drink it down. I laughed as she partially missed her mouth and a part of her drink trailed down her chin from the corner of her lips. I had the urge to lean over and lick the liquid from her face under the rules written in some non-existent rule book that said spilling alcohol was a party-foul. Ellen had informed me of this when Bobby had spilled a shot that had slipped from his fingers as everyone had made a unanimously loud noise that sounded a lot like a chorus of drugged owls. I shook my head a little at that thought and took my own shot. I drank four to her one until I was going on for round two of shots. I was finishing my third round before Jo just dropped back so it looked like her body was draped artfully across the chair she sat in.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!” She drawled, head back so it sounded low and throatier than it should have. I watched as she sprang to attention, her long, blonde hair moving in a graceful arc behind her, falling in disarray around her face. She slammed her palms against the table with a stupid grin on her face. “I'm not sure if I envy or hate your alcohol tolerance.”

“Hate. Definitely hate.” Bobby grumbled as he gazed ruefully down at the almost empty handle of whiskey. Ellen laughed followed by Jo, then everyone was laughing. Bobby poured the rest of the alcohol into my shot glasses and I drained the four left.

“Feel anything yet, terminator?” Rufus asked with a stupid grin from his seat on the floor.

“What am I supposed to be feeling?” Jo threw her hands up into the air. Bobby looked sullenly down at the empty bottle in his hands, shaking his head as he walked over and placed it on the counter. Rufus and Ellen were giggling drunkenly. I couldn't help but to laugh at the picture they painted, faces flushed with a relaxed happiness I had the rare honor of seeing. 

“Fuck it.” Ellen said standing straight and walking over to the refrigerator. 

She reached up and rustled around in a large brown paper bag before pulling out a huge, glass bottle. I knew it was liquor because everything she pulled out of that bag was. She walked over and thumped the bottle down on the table in front of me, rattling the line of shot glasses. 

“Ah shit.” Rufus grumbled, head dropping between his shoulders, shaking with laughter once again.

The bottle was a gentle green, the glass smooth and thick. I couldn't tell whether it was the bottle that was green or the liquor, until I saw a thin line of clear between the lid and the liquid. It was green. I raised my eyebrow at this. Most people wouldn't touch most things green, at least those made for consumption that weren't of the leafy variety. I picked up the bottle and rotated it in my palm. There was a single label on it. A thin, ethereal fairy, legs curled partially up towards her butt. Her hair and wings were as wispy and elegant as the threads of her dress that curled around her legs. Everything about her was green. Her wide almond shaped eyes, long hair, dress, wings, even her skin was so pale it had a barely noticeable, green undertone. Elegant yet large letters curled above the image of the tiny fairy woman, also green.

“Absinthe?” I looked up to see Ellen leering at me, a devilish smile accompanying her nod. I looked back down at the bottle in my hand. “Sounds like a chemical additive to put in cleaning supplies.” Laughter erupted among the small group.

“When you taste it you'll think much the same.” Bobby grumbled.

“I know when I had my first taste I instantly thought about slapping one of those Mr. Yuck stickers on it from my childhood.” Ellen shrugged at Jo's comment.

“Not the most pleasant tasting of spirits,” She looked at Jo teasingly, “But it knocked you on your ass didn't it?” They laughed as Jo nodded. Ellen looked back at me.

“That's all for you, cuddles.” I raised my eyebrows looking down skeptically at the bottle in my hands. “A handle of pure, undiluted, 190 proof Absinthe. All for you.” She said with a wink. When I just went back to staring at the bottle she leaned over and impatiently twisted the cap off.

“How did you get your hands on that?” Bobby asked.

“I have my connections.” Ellen responded without looking away from me and the bottle. The smell of the liquor hit me. It smelled as herbal as the color implied but the overwhelming scent of the alcohol made it almost bitter in a spicy way. I was curious but still hesitant.

“I think he's scared to walk hand in hand with the green fairy.” Ellen chuckled out.

“Good lad. She can be like an amazing lover, showing you a good time unmatched by any before. But Abuse her and she'll turn on you.” There was an almost serious warning in his words. “You'll find out that gorgeous, amazing honey pot you been dipping your wick in was rife with disease and you'll be itching your nut-sack for the rest of your life whenever you think no one is watching.” Jo was hysterical with laughter, tears streaming down her face. Ellen was silently laughing.

“Rufus.” Bobby said, almost chidingly.

“What?” He raised his hands in the air in an innocent gesture. “Just saying. Treat her right, boy.” 

Ellen sat down in front of me, gently moving Jo aside to do so. They were all waiting now, silently watching as I brought the bottle up to my lips. I took a huge mouthful and swallowed it down. It burned more than the whiskey we had been drinking but other than that it wasn't that bad. Less sweet, more herbal. It had an interesting after-taste like I had been chewing on the stem of a flower. Then all I could taste was the liquor.

“Well?” Jo asked with raised eyebrows. I shrugged and took another mouthful.

“It tastes adequate enough, I suppose.” There was a brief silence in the room as I took yet another mouthful.

“Wow.” Jo mumbled. “Do you feel anything?” I had to think about that then shrugged again.

“He just started drinking it. Give him a few. He'll feel it.” Bobby sounded so sure of himself that I found my eyebrows raising again as I took another drink. 

A casual conversation bloomed around us, that comfortable, relaxed coziness settling back in. My mind wandered off. I thought of Dean. Of everything I had seen and heard earlier the only thing I could think about was his lips. I came crashing back to reality as Bobby and Rufus made a small ruckus, lightly crashing to the kitchen floor in a tangled heap. I popped to my feet but Ellen gently touched my arm and I realized, yes. They were fine, just wrestling. I sat back down, watching the two older men struggle against each other for dominance. A strangely heavy weight settled in my lower stomach that I recognized as my bladder being full. I looked at the bottle as I raised it to my lips. It was almost empty, less than a fifth of its contents remaining. 

I stood and made for the stairs going up to the bathroom. I was part way down the hallway when I saw him. He was standing at the window in the wall next to the door of the bathroom but he wasn't looking out of it. He was staring at me as if he had been expecting me. I stopped, looking him over. He had just recently showered, his hair still wet. He was wearing a navy blue crew neck t-shirt and a pair of jeans and nothing else. His bare feet made no noise on the wooden floors as he padded closer to me. He stopped about five feet back. I could smell the soap he used, the clean, airy smell of the laundry detergent used for his clothes. Something stirred low within me as his smell assaulted my nose and he stood there, staring at me in the darkness of the hallway. The distant laughter downstairs made the moment feel very private. 

“Sounds like everyone is having fun.” I swallowed.

“You could join if you wanted.”

“So nice of you to extend an invitation.” His voice was empty minus the barest hint of sarcasm. He was irritated with me. I frowned. Why? If anything I should be the one irritated with him. 

“I was just saying that you don't have to stay hidden away up here. We would all love it if you would join us.” 

He cocked his head to the side and came forward until he was less than a full arm length away. A slight smile spread across his mouth and he leaned into me a little then took another step so that he was closer. My heart raced as he leaned in until I felt his lips brush my ear. That one small bit of contact made something jerk low within me and set my skin tingling. 

“You reek of alcohol.” I swallowed as the gruff bass of his voice sent a shiver down my spine that I fought to keep contained by nearly biting through my lip. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I acting like this. I swallowed a few more times before I could speak.

“We've been drinking.” He laughed and this time I couldn't fight the shiver.

“I can see this, captain obvious.” He mumbled, taking a single step back and staring down at the nearly empty bottle in my hand. I swallowed before speaking.

“Join us.” 

He stared at me and shook his head with a small smile, his increasingly longer hair falling into his face. He lifted his hand to push it back, revealing the white gauze bandage it was wrapped in. My eyes flicked to the bandage, remembering how he had gotten it before Dean noticed and let his hand fall back down as if to take attention away from it. I ignored what could turn into an awkward, angry situation.

“Will you join us?” Dean stared at me, eyes shining.

“For what?” 

“To enjoy yourself.” He smiled and stepped into me again, this time I felt the line of his thighs and chest against mine. His face was to the left of mine.

“Thought you didn't want me drinking?” 

“Not if that is the only thing you are going to put in your stomach, no.” He chuckled and moved back a little to look into my face.

“Why are you still here, Cass?” A wave of nausea rolled through me at the question. Did he want me to leave? My thoughts must have shown on my face because he continued. “I mean, after everything I have put you through, why are you still here?” I floundered for words other than the obvious, something that wouldn't send Dean into a fit of rage or disgust. “Why do you care?” A spark of anger flitted through me as I met his gaze.

“I care because over all the years I've lived I have seen dynasties, pharaohs, and kings and queens rise and fall, entire races be born and butchered to extinction. Yet you showed me that I've never really lived at all.” I took a step forward and he stepped back. “I care because you boys gave me something to believe in. Something to fight for, something real. I was an observer watching life pass me by and you gave me a place among you.” Another step forward for me and one back for him. “I care because you made me care!” I felt anger and fear coil within me, the words hanging heavy with what sounded like resentment. 

Did I resent the Winchesters for what they had done to me? I thought hard about that in the silence. Life had been so simple, easy, all about God, honor, fighting the “good” fight, duty. Life had been so complicated since the Winchesters. They had taken everything I thought I knew and loved and shoved it down my throat. Gave me a whole new world, a whole new life. Yes, I realized, I did resent them. And yet...I recalled the feeling of Ellen's body against mine in complete comfort, the friendship and love reflected in her smile. I thought of the trust and faith they all had in me, the profound love in my heart for them. The very same love I was rebelling for. All this crossed my mind in seconds.

“We didn't force you into anything, Cass. You could have left at any time. Hell!” He threw his hands up. “You could leave now! No one is stopping you. You wanna leave? Go!” I could hear the tears in his voice, see the rage trembling down the line of his arm pointing me back towards the direction I came from. “Go ahead. Leave, if you feel so strongly.” His voice croaked a little. I just shook my head. “Don't let me hold you back. By all means, fly little bird, fly!” He threw his body forward and flapped his arms in a ridiculous motion imitating flight. 

He was rambling on, I saw his lips moving but didn't hear his words. He was so close to me that I felt the air shift with every movement he made. I watched his body move about and could feel his pain. I was moving toward him before I could think twice and my arms slid around his waist, pulling his body flush to mine. I buried my face in his neck and held him close. I felt his hands shove against my shoulders but refused to move.

“Let me go.” More pushing, “Get off me, let me go!” He was breathing hard and I felt something wet splash onto the back of my neck. “Cass, let me go.” His voice was barely a whisper, thick with tears. I shook my head and held him tighter. “Let me go...please...” the last was a sob. It was then that I realized, Dean wanted to die. That was what he was asking for. He wanted me to let him die. His legs collapsed so that I was the only thing holding him up.

“Never.” I said against his neck. 

He made some noise between pain and anguish and then his face was in the crook between my shoulder and neck, his arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, as if he were clinging to me for dear life. I held the slightly taller man in a very intimate embrace, held him until he was silent. His body was so still against me, weak. I hefted him higher and lifted his body so that I was carrying him in my arms. Dean made no noises of protest so I carried him back to his bedroom. I laid him on his bed and sat down next to him, staring at the broken look in those eyes that gazed off blankly, so empty of any emotion but pain. After a while I couldn't stand it. I stood and turned to go for the door when I felt fingers close lightly around my wrist. I froze, waiting for him to say anything, anything. Then he did. 

“Don't leave me. Please, don't leave me.” I turned to see those gorgeous green eyes shining at me with so much need. All I could do was nod. 

His eyes slid closed, forcing the tears out. I slid onto the bed, sidling close to him. He laid back down, releasing me, reluctantly. I smiled and laid with my front to his back as close as I could get. We laid that way for a while, most of the time I spent trying to find somewhere to put my other arm. I hesitantly slid my hand onto his waist, squeezing gently, kneading the flesh there, just for something to do with my arm. His T-shirt rode up so that my hand was now on bare skin. Dean made a small sound in his throat and his entire body moved against mine, almost like he was flexing a muscle. He rolled slowly onto his back and I felt the soft warmth of his skin move beneath my fingers, dipping and diving with all the curves of muscle. He stared up at me and it took a lot for me to meet those eyes but when I finally did I had to bite back a gasp. He looked so very different. His eyes shone, not with tears but something I couldn't quite place. His shaggy, uncut hair was tousled from laying on it wet. The skin of his lower stomach was exposed, showing the extremely defined V of his hips, fading beneath the cloth of his jeans. My fingers were centimeters away from that delicate line of hair that trails from the belly button to the groin. I looked back at Dean's eyes to find him staring at me. His fingers slid over the back of my hand until he was holding it, pushing my hand into his flesh slightly. He looked a little embarrassed, cheeks flushing a deep red right before his voice came soft, almost not there.

“Cass...can you...” His eyes met mine and he looked away as if he wasn't going to finish. I dug my fingers into his stomach a little to get his attention, getting an almost inaudible noise in response.

“Can I what, Dean?” He glanced at me then down at my hand on his stomach. I watched his throat convulse as he swallowed hard a couple times. I could feel my heart thudding through my body as his fingers traced light patterns across the soft skin on the back of my hand. 

“Dean.” He looked at me, eyes swimming with some unexplainable need. “What do you want me to do?” 

That was a loaded question if ever I heard one. I knew what I wanted to do, my body burned with my desire. Dean stared into my eyes.

“Touch me.” I couldn't breathe for a second. Whatever he saw must have given him my answer because he slid his hand up my arm. “Touch me. Please, just touch me.”


	21. Chapter 21

Castiel's POV

I swallowed and sucked in a deep inhale of air, nodding more than I should have. I played my fingers along the exposed skin of his stomach moving up slowly, pushing his shirt up until I couldn't get it to go anymore. I played with the skin available to me for a few minutes, sliding my fingers under the cloth of his shirt. Dean sat up suddenly and pulled his shirt over his head in one fluid motion before falling back to the bed, snuggling close to me. I gazed down at him as I splayed my fingers in the shallow dip of his stomach between his ribs. I ran my fingers along the ribs and hip bones that were more prominent due to the last couple months. I gently trailed my fingers through the line of hair that disappeared into his pants, making him shiver and then explored his chest, one finger drawn spiral at a time. He made these lovely purrs every once in a while that made something shift low inside my body. His body lay bonelessly next to me, completely relaxed as if just these, the most soft and simple of touches was sating some generally unspoken, personal need. I was tracing my fingers along the length of his neck and jaw line when I saw his head was thrown back, mouth open slightly, eyes closed. I had been running my fingers along his body, exploring for time unknown to me and hadn't realized how my almost chaste curiosity might effect him. 

Just then I really started to look at him, all of him. I looked at the way his chest and stomach rose and fell with faster inhales than normal. I memorized the way his body looked splayed out for me, because that was exactly what it was and my heart raced. My eyes roamed down to where his jeans sat against his hips. The cloth was so loosely draped over them that I could imagine myself sliding my hand beneath them. The thought made me twitch and I startled a little, recognizing that I was fully erect. I pushed the thought aside as I explored Dean with my hand. 

The warm brush of what felt like butterfly wings beat against the walls of my stomach at the way Dean's breath kept quietly catching. As I ghosted my fingers along the skin just above his jeans I had to bite back a moan. The cloth that had been loose against him was now raised, drawing my eyes down to the firm erection pushing at his jeans. My erection did something that could only amount to jumping or kicking. Dean made a small noise and I realized I had been digging my nails into him. I tried to ignore Dean's arousal by going higher on his body. I bit my lip as I traced my fingers across his chest. His nipples were drawn into taught peaks and I just couldn't resist. I ran the tips of my fingers across one in a fast, light movement that made him gasp. 

I forced myself to go back to the chaste touches from before and then before I could tell myself not to I found myself running my index finger in light, tantalizing circles around his nipple. His chest rose and fell faster. I ran my thumb over the hard nub and his chest rose a little in response, a throaty noise coming from him. I suddenly, instinctively, pinched the hard flesh between my thumb and forefinger and he moaned for me, arching his back. As much as I told myself to stop I just couldn't. I rolled his nipple between my fingers, his back arching, hands grabbing at the sheets. I wanted him to moan again. I switched nipples and he gave me just what I wanted. I suddenly stopped and his body fell limply back to the bed, chest heaving. I was breathing almost as heavily as he was, erection almost painfully heavy with need. He was looking at me as I ran my fingers lightly down his chest and stomach. His eyes almost glowed with a heat I had never seen before, but he never moved, never told me to stop or go on. I looked away from his eyes back to his body, not wanting to see the moment when he did decide to stop me. I wanted him. I wanted him in a way I'd never wanted anything before in my life. 

I dipped my fingers shallowly beneath the tented cloth of his jeans and watched his hips wriggle just the slightest bit. I decided to test my boundaries and tugged the cloth a little upwards getting the same eager response. I was propped on my elbow, not remembering how I got there. 

I traced my fingers along the seam running up the inside of his thigh stopping just shy of his groin. I did that a few times, up as far as I dared then back down almost to his knee, building up the courage to go further, watching his erection twitch every time I drew near. When I finally followed the seam all the way up to the juncture between his thighs he arched his back a little and I slid my palm over him. He cried out and I moaned feeling the hard length of him stretched beneath my palm. I traced the girth of him with my thumb and forefinger and roved my eyes up Dean's body to see his head thrown back, throaty moans crawling up his throat, back arched, fingers digging at the blankets.

“Please-” Dean gasped out. I wanted him so very badly I hurt from it. I knew I should stop, some part of me was telling me to stop this. I didn't. 

“Undo them for me.” The command was just there, no thought needed and Dean obeyed instantly, hands scrambling to get his jeans undone, making small eager noises. 

I moaned as his erection sprang free. Dean was watching me as I nudged the cloth further down his hips until I could see all of him with no obstructions. He was magnificent. I wanted so many things in that moment. Then the logical side of my brain kicked in. I would give him release, if I could, but in a way involving the least contact. He might regret this in the morning and I would take as little advantage of him as possible. But, I rationalized, it would be wrong to leave him like this, wouldn't it?

I ran my fingers along the silken skin stretching his hard length and he gasped. My patience suddenly snapped and I closed my fingers around him. He arched his back almost painfully and cried out so loudly it was almost a scream. His fingers dug into my arm as I began stroking him, his hips moving in a rhythm of their own. I watched his body roll, cock sliding in and out of my closed fist and realized I was moaning. Images of Sam with his mouth around Dean flashed through my head and I cried out, desire of wanting to do the same thing tearing through me like a volcanic wave. 

Dean's body was taught with desire and need, moans falling from his lips like a litany. His fingers tightened on my arm and he lost his rhythm. I don't know where it came from but I used my leg to knock his leg flat on the bed, pinning both his legs with my own so he couldn't move his hips anymore. I rolled my hand and wrist from base to tip in a long, fluid, fast motion, cock slick now with his own juices, rocking Dean's head back onto the bed. His cries got louder, body tensing and I instinctively locked my mouth around his nipple, biting gently, rolling my tongue over the hard nub. That did it. Dean shouted, his body jack-knifed off the mattress and I had to pull my mouth away from him to avoid accidentally hurting him as he convulsed. Streams of his release were thick and warm on the back of my hand, his fingers dug into my arm painfully. His body fell limply back onto the mattress, hand convulsing on my arm. His other hand found mine and stilled it.

“No more, Cass. Gods, please no more.” His voice was gruff. He lay sprawled on the bed cock still hard, gleaming in the dimness of the room with his own juices. I straddled his thighs. I'm just helping him get dressed, just helping him get dressed. You helped him undress, it is only right. Dean opened his eyes to look at me and I stopped, hands resting on his hips. His breathing was still ragged from the previous exertions. I roved my eyes over his body stopping at his gleaming erection standing out like an exclamation point. My cock seized in my pants and I had to close my eyes. It was like I couldn't help myself. My fingers lightly moved along the sides of his cock making him moan. I teased my fingers up and down his length until he was panting for me. I looked at his face seeing his mouth moving and throat convulsing like he was trying to say something he didn't have the air for. I squeezed his cock in my hand and he arched his back, a fresh drop of liquid oozing out the head of him. No sooner than the thought of tasting him crossed my mind I was moving for him. I saw Dean lift his head and look at me right as I flicked my tongue across the head of him. His eyes slid shut and he groaned deeply as I rolled the flavor of him around in my mouth. He was salty with a sweet undertone. I fought myself not to continue but then Dean moaned, snapping my eyes open to see him staring down at me, fingers digging into his thighs, cock twitching not three inches in front of me. Something primitive I could only describe as a growl, crawled up my throat and then I was sucking on the head of his cock. He took a screaming inhale as I pulled him into my mouth until my lips rested against his skin and then he let out a shout, sinking his fingers into my hair. 

“Cass!” 

Every notion I had to stop died at hearing him scream my name and I gave myself over to my desire. I rolled my mouth over him, sucking and licking, feeling his massive, hard length forced down my throat. He said my name over and over like a prayer. A fine trembling ran through his entire body, his legs twitching, fingers tensing in my hair. I loved the feeling of the impossible combination of hard muscle and incredibly soft skin, sliding in and out of my mouth. Dean's body jerked hard against me, forcing his cock even farther into my throat, my teeth biting into the base of him for a second before I opened my mouth wider to keep from hurting him. He cried out louder and I just went with the moment. I pulled away from him slowly, shoving his hips against the mattress and dragging my teeth lightly up his length ending by rolling my tongue around the head of his cock. He cried out my name again before I sucked him back down, stealing his air. He cried out, hips jerking forward, hand tightening almost painfully in my hair.

“Oh GOD!” He shouted. 

Between one motion and the next he went. I felt him explode in my mouth, shoving him down my throat as he screamed my name. His body seized, hips bucking, his free hand tearing at the bed. The muscles in his lower body fluttered against me, legs pinned beneath my weight. I kept sucking him down my throat in long, languid motions watching his spine bow as a fresh burst of liquid heat filled my mouth. He seemed to have no more air to scream as his body bucked and writhed as if rebelling against the pleasure. His hand in my hair seemed to be trying to pull me away from him but stopped as I took him all the way down my throat, closing it tight around him and getting another burst of liquid heat right down my throat. I fell still, his flagging erection throbbing in my mouth in time to his heart beat. I reluctantly pulled back from him, sliding my lips along him. A mild feeling of shame wrapped around me as I already began mourning the feeling of his hardness in my mouth. He cried out and twitched in response right before his hand fell limply from my hair to the bed. I lay next to him, trailing my fingers along his stomach and hips, watching his eyelids flutter as he fought to look at me. I lay there for a while next to him, observing his body calming, breathing regulate. Eventually he looked at me through half-lidded eyes.

“Do you even have a gag reflex?” His voice was husky from our exertions. I laughed and shook my head.

“No. Angels have no need to eat food of any kind. The only reason we have mouths is for oral communication. If nothing is meant to go in our mouths there is no need for a gag reflex.” Dean raised his eyebrows like he was going to say something witty then shook his head. 

“Damn.” He said on a laughing exhale. “Such an unfair advantage.” 

I frowned and he laughed. I smiled hearing the sound, knowing I would do anything to keep hearing it. I just hoped our adventures didn't change our relationship for the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- So there it is, the first smut scene between Cass and Dean. I hope you all liked this chapter. Please remember to comment, I do so love to hear from readers.


	22. Chapter 22

Dean's POV

I woke up alone in bed, the early morning sunlight streaming in through the lace curtains. I wondered about the last time they had been washed finally deciding the thick layer of dust and grime on the once white of the effeminate curtains was testament to Bobby's lack of housekeeping skills. They probably hadn't been washed since his wife had hung them last. I frowned as I pulled myself up in bed, shaking that uncharacteristic line of thought out of my head. I stretched, luxuriating in the feeling of my muscles pulling free of the nights sleep. I felt amazing!

“Good morning.” Cass' gruff voice snapped my head in his direction to see him posted in the doorway to the bathroom. 

His hair was wet, fresh out of the shower. I watched the muscles clench and roll beneath the tan flesh as he slipped a button down over his head. I swallowed a few times then examined the chipped off-white paint on the doorjamb. Bobby really needed to put some elbow grease into the house, the place was falling apart. I looked back at Cass who was staring at me, his eyes shone with something, some dark knowledge. Last night came back to me. I felt Cass' fingers exploring me, his hand around me followed by his mouth. I felt my hand buried in the feather softness of his hair, tasted his name on my tongue. I got all that in a matter of seconds and found myself struggling for breath. I snapped back from the very real memories that crept along my body like they had just happened. What the fuck was that? I looked into Cass' eyes seeing that dark gleam there and couldn't. I looked away, blood scalding the flesh of my throat as it rushed to fill my face with heat. I hid my eyes, looking very firmly at my lap noticing for the first time how very naked I was and the massive boner staring me down. My face burned so hot I fought not to fan myself. I reached for the sheet, trying to keep my cool. I got another flash of last night, remembering another scarlet burn. I grabbed his hand when he was leaving asking not to leave me. I felt the warmth of his body pressed against mine from behind, me pressing his hand into the flesh of my stomach as my need burned inside me, overcoming the embarrassment of asking him. “Touch me. Please, just touch me.” I yanked myself free of the memories with a gasp, feeling my plea, my desperation roll off my tongue. I put my hand to my mouth and shook my head wondering why my memories were so vivid.

“It's a side effect.” I looked up at him.

“What?” I mumbled around my hand. Cass crossed his arms over his chest, the dark gleam that had been in his eyes was gone leaving his face blank and unreadable. 

“From what I have heard it happens sometimes when angels and mortals have...illicit encounters.” I waited for him to go on. He seemed to recognize this and sighed lightly. “Our grace, it...” He stopped and seemed to be searching for words. 

He took a step towards the bed as if to sit down on it and I pulled the sheet around me a little more before I could stop myself. His eyes clocked the motion and he stopped. He looked away and took back that step, sliding down the door jamb and folding his legs. I broke the now awkward silence.

“You were saying what about your grace?” His eyes locked on mine and I could read absolutely nothing from him. His face was completely locked down, stoic like he'd been when he'd first come to me, revealing nothing. I flinched a little and glanced away. 

“When angels and humans become intimate supposedly you touch our grace and it...stains you.” I frowned.

“What?” He ran his hand through his hair and took in a lot of air.

“It acts kind of like a drug. When you touch our grace it makes it so that our encounter will always be with you. In a way angel-mortal encounters tend to leave the human...” He twirled his hand in the air and his eyes roved up to the ceiling as he floundered for the right word. “What is it you humans call it...star struck?” A sick feeling started to worm through me, nesting in the cold pit growing in my stomach. 

“What are you saying, Cass.” What should have been a question fell flat between us. 

“What do you remember from last night? What does it leave you feeling?” I felt my blush burn back through me. I wanted to deny remembering anything but couldn't lie. I needed to know what he'd done to me. 

“I...when I remember last night it feels like...like you-” I stopped and took a few steadying breaths before continuing. “It feels like I- you are still touching me.” I took a deep breath at finally getting it out. 

“So you relive the memories as if they are currently happening?” Wow. That was an easy way to put it. I nodded. He nodded but stayed silent. I waited for him to continue explaining but he didn't. I had no patience right now and didn't like where this was going.

“Cass? What the hell is happening?”

“I don't know.” 

“What do you mean you don't know?” I sounded as outraged as I felt. He locked his eyes on mine again.

“What part of angel and human relations are forbidden didn't you understand?” I blinked a couple times and floundered for a response.

“But-” Cass scoffed and looked away. 

“It isn't exactly like I know a lot about what to expect after sex with mortals, Dean. I am an angel after all. We aren't exactly supposed to have interest in anything but God and goodwill. This-” He gestured vaguely between him and I, “this is so...well, it is so taboo I think we could redefine the word.” He chuckled a little. I didn't know what to say. 

“But angels have to fall off the wagon sometime, right?” He waved a hand as if swatting the statement away.

“Of course. How do you think nephilim come into being.”

“What are nephilim and how rare are they?” He stopped moving, as far as I could tell he wasn't even breathing.

“Nephilim are half human, half angel and technically classified as abominations. They are incredibly rare and never live very long.”

“Why?” He never looked at me.

“Because they are offensive to everything angels uphold. So...we hunt and kill them.” 

“Because they are disgraceful.” Cass made some thick noise in the back of his throat. 

“You need not worry, Dean. I don't think I need to tell you that there is no possibility of our union producing a nephilim.” There was something nasty in his tone which surprised me but I let it go, caught up thinking about what last night meant. 

“So what did last night mean?” He looked me in my eyes again. 

“What do you want it to mean?” I flinched. I hadn't meant to imply that I was trying to figure out where our relationship stood, though that was going to be interesting to figure out. 

“I meant, what effect did it have on me?” He looked at me as if I was the only one that could answer that question before looking away.

“If you are talking about the effect of my grace on you I've already told you. I don't know. If I could caution a guess from what has been rumored I would say that even if I never touch you again you will always remember last night in a way that no other sexual encounter will ever resonate.” 

I stopped breathing. There was no arrogance in his voice, just a factual bluntness. I tried to think of remembering what he did to me last night, feeling last night as if it was happening at that moment as a regular occurrence. Something tightened low within me and I felt my cock stiffen. I shifted uncomfortably at the weight of his hold on me now. He must have felt my discomfort because he stood up and left the room. I stared at the door as it closed softly behind him. I stared at the door for a while before falling back on the bed. Was I going to always get a hard on now when I saw Castiel? How were we going to make it past this? Was there even a way past it? 

I began to ask myself thousands of questions, the kind of questions that never cross your mind when you're about to do something you might regret later. I thought back to the development of the relationship between Cass and I. From detached, stoic angel to bedfellow. The thought made me smile and I surprised myself with a loud bray of laughter. Had it been Cass' grace that had made me want him so badly last night? Cass had said being close to humans did things to us. Was that the explanation behind it all. I sat up and ripped the blanket off of me, swinging my legs off the edge of the bed. I wanted to explain away why I let him do what he did to me last night. I needed an explanation. It was then that I knew. Last night should never have happened. 

I fell back against the bed again and rubbed my hands over my face, groaning. I laid there for a while, forcing myself to not think about anything, staring at the ceiling. I stretched finally feeling that delicious pull in my muscles that sex gave you and suddenly my hands were scrambling at the bed, one hand buried itself in feather soft hair. My head was thrown back, his name tearing out of my throat, almost a scream as his mouth pressed against the front of me, my cock sheathed in his throat. 

I fought free of the memory, coming back with a moan, the feeling of his mouth on me so real I had to look down to make sure he wasn't actually there. My cock throbbed viciously, weeping for attention. I couldn't stop myself, I had to. I palmed my cock and nearly bit my lip off trying to stifle my cry of pleasure. Cass stroked me in long languid strokes, pinning my hips so I couldn't help. I was so close, so close. His teeth bit into my nipple sending pleasure in a burning line through me like it had a direct line to my cock. I cried out as the pleasure speared through my cock, sending me in a head dive over the cliff. My orgasm rocked my head back on my spine as I cried out, my body seizing. I fell limp against the bed, moving my hand to still his hand on me, words of mercy already forming on my lips. I opened my eyes to find the room empty. I gazed down my body at my flagging erection wondering if I had masturbated to the memory or if the memory was so strong it had taken me over. Oh fuck. What did Cass do to me? 

 

Castiel's POV

 

I stood with my back against the wall next to the door I'd just come out of. I didn't move, not even to breathe, not daring to. I would never forget last night...or the way Dean had acted this morning. The dawning look of horror on his face when I had tried to explain what was happening to him. I'll never forget the shade of red his skin turned as the blood crept up his neck into his face. The embarrassment he felt at what we had done. Would he ever forgive me for what we had done last night? I had tried to steel myself against my desires. I should have just left when I'd tried. Could I have walked away from him last night when he had begged me to stay. The answer was instant. No. I had tried. I had but God help me, I wasn't strong enough. Tears slipped down my face. I wiped violently at them and froze as Dean nearly screamed my name, voice throaty with pleasure. 

I instantly had an erection and slammed my eyes shut, grinding my teeth, forcing myself to stay put. A barely muffled cry of pleasure sounded almost immediately followed by a litany of moans. I dug my nails into my palm. I was not supposed to be out here so I couldn't just walk back in. His cries of pleasure took on a different tenor, more throaty and as frequent as he drew breath. I knew he was close, could almost taste him. Then he climaxed. He shouted his release and I could picture his head thrown back, body convulsing. When it was over I laid my head against the door, just listening to his ragged breathing. The door? My body was pressed flat against the wood of the door, hand resting on the knob. I jumped back. When had I moved to the door? I forced myself to walk down the hallway, locking myself in the bathroom, willing my erection to go away. As the humans said, I was so screwed.

“Fuck.” It came out as a soft groan. 

 

Ellen's POV

 

I hadn't even heard Cass come down the stairs but as I turned around with the plate of bacon in hand he was there. I jumped and he very casually reached out, swiftly taking the plate from me, turning around and placing it on the small table that had been the center of last night's games. I smiled as I turned back to the stove. Drinking hadn't been the only games to go on last night. When Cass had never returned last night I'd gone up to investigate, and go pee. I'd heard the noises coming from that room and wanted badly to do the girl talk thing with him and get all the juicy details. Hell, the noises I'd heard not ten minutes ago spoke volumes. I decided to wait for him to tell me, if he chose to, but it took more effort than was pretty to reign myself in. 

“Ellen?” I grinned like a loon, making it hard to force on a blank face, but I managed it, turning around ready for everything. Cass was staring blankly out the window next to the table and suddenly all the happy drained out of me, like someone had flipped a switch. I walked over and took the chair across from him. 

“What's the matter, cuddles?” A small smile quirked the edge of his lips before fading back to solemn lines.

“How do you go back to being friends after having sex?” She felt like someone had hit her between the eyes with a sledge hammer.

“What?” That had so not been what she was expecting. 

He sighed like he was putting on his battle armor. She reached her hand out and covered his with hers. He looked at her through a veil of tears. She shook her head.

“I know.” He didn't have to explain. His shoulders slumped with relief. “Does he regret it?” He looked at the table as if counting the chips in the wood. 

“He did not say so.” The back of her throat got tight as she remembered walking a few miles in Cass' shoes. 

“But he didn't have to.” The angel looked up at her as pieces of his broken heart shimmered down his cheeks. 

“No.” 

I wanted to offer him comforting words, tell him it would be alright. She had told him not too long ago while bandaging him up to not give up on Dean. That the man would need him. Today she watched the angel cry over that very man and in that very second she hated Dean. She stood and walked over to him and lifted his face to her with a finger under his chin. She wiped at the steady flow of silent tears, staring into the depth of his cerulean eyes, filled with pain that she could understand but not touch. He stared back and a world of understanding passed between the two of them. She slid a hand to the back of his head and wrapped an arm around his shoulders pulling him against her. The side of his face pressed into the flat of her stomach and he sat there, unyielding for a few moments as if he didn't know what to do. Then his arms slowly wrapped around her, settling in the dip in her lower back, lightly at first, then he held her tight. He never made a noise, his shoulders never shook with his pain but she knew he was hurting and wanted to smack Dean for his stupidity. The house was silent, half the residents still gone in a drunken sleep, as I held the crying angel. I realized I was crying too and immediately forced myself to stop. I also realized that without remembering when I had started running my fingers through his oh so soft hair. He sat back, arms extending as he did so that he was still holding onto my sides. He offered me a beautiful smile that said more than words, thank you. I nodded and stepped back, taking my seat opposite him.

“Okay. I do believe you promised to explain what happened last night.” He smiled and his eyes filled with gratitude. Then his face sobered so fast it made my heart skip a beat. In a very Castiel manner, he jumped right into it. 

“My brother came to me last night.”

“Your brother?” he dipped his head in acknowledgment.

“Lucifer.” A huge chunk of ice dropped into my stomach. I swallowed hard and motioned for him to continue, not sure if I wanted him to.

“The apocalypse is upon us, Ellen. We must all prepare for the war that is coming.”

“There always has been and always will be war. What makes this one so different?”

“Yes. War it seems, like God, is ever present.” He sat forward a bit. “But this war will be unlike any that has ever been. This war will decide the fate of humanity.” 

I looked around the house rather frantically, heart racing. They had finally almost finished repairing the damage from the last battle fought here. The battle that had killed Ash. Followed by the loss of Sam. 

“Why do we have to be the ones to fight this war?” His smile was possibly the saddest thing I'd ever seen, and I'd seen a lot of terribly sad shit. 

“It has and always will be the task of a few to sacrifice for the many.” His voice was sorrow and regret. The voice of pain, loss and personal experience. I wondered what the angel had lost to sound like that. 

I wondered the price of this war. What would it be like to live the ignorant life of those untouched by the sacrifices made by the unsung heroes on the front line? I found myself wondering if humanity was really worth it all. If I just walked away and said fuck ya'll, saved myself, my daughter and those I loved most would someone else step up to and save the world? Could I live with myself if no one did? How much would we have to give before it was enough? I saw the sympathy in his eyes but behind that, the scarred warrior not willing to give in without a fight. If he, who had fought who knows how many wars and sacrificed who knew what, was still willing to fight how could I tuck tail and run. His strength smothered my cowardice and pulled me to my feet.

“I'll go wake the others. No need to tell the story multiple times.” He nodded and looked out the window. I did not envy him the task of telling everyone that everything they loved was up at the chopping block again. I walked into the office. The lines of one of my favorite books running through my mind.

\--“If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?"

“I…don't know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?"--

“To shrug.” I finished allowed. 

I was about halfway through the room when the war burst into the house, punctuated by the splintering sound of shattering glass and the explosion of the back and front doors being kicked in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The quote at the end of the chapter belongs to Ayn Rand from her work, "Atlas Shrugged".


	23. Chapter 23

Ellen's POV

 

The glass shattered around me as I crouched and shielded my eyes. Rufus, who had been passed out on the couch rolled onto the floor, arms going over his head. I dropped to my stomach and slithered as fast as I could to Bobby's desk, yanking open the bottom drawer to find the .45 where it always was. I slid the hammer back on the colt and rolled onto my back as heavy boots landed on both sides of me. I got a brief glimpse of a very mountain-man like beard and small dark eyes before my bullet found it's way out the back of his head in a shower of bone, blood and thicker things. I pushed at his shoulder and rolled with his falling weight before he could fall on top of me, pinning me beneath his massive weight. I was straddling his dead body, clearing blood from my eyes when I was tackled, barely having the time to throw my arm out to take the impact instead of my skull. I had a moment to thank whatever god was listening that our assailants were human and then someone had a handful of my hair. I knew my attacker was a woman before I pushed up and shoved our combined weight over so that I landed on top of her, using our momentum to smash my head into her face. I felt more than heard her nose break and she screamed, letting go of my hair to cater to her face lift. I rolled over and had the muzzle of my gun under her chin in a heartbeat. I saw the surprise in the woman's eyes right before I squeezed my trigger, redecorating Bobby's bookshelf with a lovely shade of gore.

I felt the air shift and rolled just in time to avoid the kick that had been aimed at my chest. Someone wrapped their arm around my waist in mid roll and lifted me clear off the floor, bodily throwing me across the room. I felt my body twist through the air before I was crashing into a bookshelf. Two of the shelves splintered under the force of my body connecting with it and I fell to the floor in a shower of books. My head felt light and fuzzy as I tried to push myself up off the floor. I never got there. A hand wrapped around the back of my neck, fingers digging in harshly at the base of my skull. I was hauled to my feet and slammed face first into the already broken bookshelf. My head slammed into the back of the shelf making images of sugar plums and candy canes dance across my vision. What were unbroken shelves slammed into my rib-cage and a loud crack that could have been the shelves or my ribs sounded. I was tossed to the ground, staring up at a little wisp of a woman. So much for our intruders being only human. There was no way this small slip of a woman could have caused the damage she had without some serious demon juice. I smiled at her as the world began to waiver at the edges. She made a disgusted noise at the back of her throat and a face to match.

“You humans are so weak. Why would we ever bow to you?” A blood curdling scream echoed through me bringing tears to my eyes. I knew who that scream belonged to and answered it with one of my own.

“DEAN!” Terror, heartbreak, like something you could touch was there as I screamed for him.

The small woman opened her mouth as if about to say something else and then a blinding white light light flooded the room. I threw an arm over my eyes weakly, wishing I had enough hands and the strength to block out the terrible screams that seemed to scrape along my skin. As quickly as it had come it was gone. I lay there for a few moments, trying to swallow my heart. I heard someone crying. Dean. My heart dropped to my feet as my stomach climbed into my throat and I rolled onto my front shoving off the floor. The world spun and it felt like my insides were slowly rolling to catch up. I could barely see as I crawled on hands and knees over broken glass and fallen books. My vision slowly cleared as I moved. What I saw stopped me cold and made bile rise to the back of my throat. Dean was naked on his knees, long blond hair plastered to his thighs with blood.

“No, no, no, no, no...” He must have felt me staring because he turned his head to look at me. Tears streamed from red eyes and he lifted his hand up, palm out in a gesture to ward me off.

“Ellen...stay...don't...” I must have moved because I was getting closer to his blood covered hand, but I couldn't remember. Someone was moaning and I realized it was me as I saw her. The moan gradually grew into a wail of grief. Jo was staring blankly at the ceiling, mouth opening and closing as if she were trying to say something. Her breath came in rattling rasps. What looked like a wooden chair leg was sticking out of her stomach only a few inches below her sternum. I saw my hands reach out to the obstruction, my first instinct to pull it out. It shouldn't be there. It was wrong. Dean's bloody fingers closed over mine and my frantic eyes flicked up to his to see him shaking his head. I wanted to hold her but didn't dare move her.

“Noooooooooo...” It came out as a gurgled moan, a sob choking out at the end. “Not my baby.” I shook my head too fast and the world got fuzzy again. “NOT MY BABY!” I was up on my knees beside her, hands on her cheeks. “JoAnna Beth Harvelle you look at me! Don't you dare give up on me! You can't!” Jo's eyes flicked to me and tears leaked from the corners. Her lips moved as she mouthed “mom” but there was no sound, as if someone had hit the mute button.

“Cass!” My arms were suddenly around her and I was rocking her. “Hold on baby! Mama is here!” I sobbed. “CASTIEL!” Jo was mouthing something to me and I shook my head, tears dropping onto her face. “Don't you dare tell me you love me like you're saying goodbye!” I looked around frantically. “CASTIEL! PLEASE!” The last word cracked. 

Suddenly the angel was there. He dragged his body over to Jo with one arm, the other cradled against his chest. Her heart fluttered with hope. He pulled Jo toward him with his one arm. I was reluctant to let her go but I had to trust him. Save my baby, Cass. Please! He hugged her limp body to his chest and a pale blue  glow formed between them, emanating from the angel.

“Dean.” Cass' voice was gruff with command and as if Dean knew what the angel needed he moved forward, wrapping his hands firmly around the chair leg. 

Cass nodded and Dean tore the protruding object out of Jo, whose body arched against the angel, limbs spasming as she took a screaming inhale. The room was silent for a few painful seconds and then Cass made a pain noise and Jo gasped for breath, arms wrapping around him in a flutter of panic. He held her, face lost in her hair, head hanging loose. Fear zinged through me but Dean was the one to ask.

“Cass?” He reached out to touch the angel, who was still holding my daughter in that one armed grip. 

“Cass, are you alright?” The angel never moved. My heart lurched. Had Cass given his life to save Jo’s?

“Castiel?” Real fear laced Dean's voice. “Answer me dammit!” Cass slowly lifted his head and looked in Dean's direction but his eyes were unfocused, face slack with what looked like exhaustion. Dean's breath went out of him and his shoulders slumped in relief. 

“Thank god.” He mumbled under his breath. 

I stood abruptly, too abruptly, and the world spun around me. I lost my balance and fell back to my knees, I whirled away from Dean just in time. Vomit burned up my throat and spewed out my mouth to splatter along the floor. My vision exploded in star-bursts of black and white, my heartbeat filling my head. When it was over I held myself up on shaky arms, trying not to move. I’d bet my least favorite body part that I had a concussion.

“Cass?” I winced. 

Dean’s voice hadn’t been that loud but it felt like it was scraping along my brain. I heard broken glass being slid across the ground, or maybe something being slid over it. There was shuffling and a small noise of pain. A wave of pain swept through me from the head down making me put every bit of concentration into not falling face first into my vomit. My arms shook violently beneath me and I knew I was going to fall. I tried to prepare myself for the pain and forced my body to fall to the side of the puddle. Instead of hitting the floor I was rolled into a pair of arms, pulled into a firm chest. I closed my eyes, fighting back the nausea as the bones in my head slowly slid. A hand slick with something pressed against my cheek and when I opened my eyes I was staring up into a pair of greyish-blue eyes. I frowned slightly. I didn’t know these eyes, but I did know the gentle smile being offered to me. He pulled me in tighter against his chest so that I was staring at his strong jawline as his skin began to glow that pale blue light less blue and flickering a little around the edges. I closed my eyes and felt his lips press against my forehead. My breathing hitched as a long line of warmth ran through the center of me. His breath came out as a shuddering sigh, the warmth spreading out and out, filling me up until it pushed against my skin. The feeling wasn’t unpleasant, in fact I found my hands wrapping around one of his arms, holding him closer. It felt really good. A shock of pain lanced through my head making me gasp and then it was over. His body was limp beneath mine. I moved against him and he loosened his arms so I could sit up. His upper body began to slide toward the floor and there were suddenly arms there to support him. Four sets of hands reached out to grab him, including mine, easing him to the floor. I looked up to see Jo staring in awe at the angel, Dean’s eyes reflected fear and Bobby, the admiration in his eyes brought tears to mine.

I looked around to see Rufus sitting with his back propped against a broken bookshelf, blood dripping down from the corner of his mouth and a gash on his cheek, but otherwise looked no worse for the wear. The room was trashed, books and papers scattered among the debris of broken shelves and discarded weapons. A tall woman staggered to her feet, favoring her left leg as she looked over at us. Rage shot through me and I contemplated shooting her. Whatever she or I would have done didn’t matter as Rufus raised the shotgun in his lap. Her eyes went wide as she dove through a broken window seconds before the explosion of the shotgun sounded. Dead bodies lay among the glittering shards of glass littering the floor. We all looked down at the angel who had saved our lives...again. I found myself crying as I stared into his eyes. The beautiful cerulean blue of them was gone, replaced with a grey so dull it was almost clear like dirty glass. What had he done to save us? 

“He’s bleeding.” Bobby was moving the torn shirt up to expose a shallow but broad stab wound just above Cass’ hip. 

Dean tore the angel’s shirt in a long strip from shoulder to the bottom, exposing a deeper stab wound on his left shoulder. Cass groaned as Dean jostled him around trying to tie a makeshift bandage around the wound. He hissed as the material was yanked tight across the wound. The fuckers had stabbed him with an angel blade! Twice. This left no doubt, if there'd ever been any, that they had meant our deaths. I moved forward and smiled down at him.

“Let’s get you somewhere comfortable to rest.” He shook his head.

“No. Time is a luxury of which we do not have.” It was my turn to shake my head.

“Cass, you need to be bandaged up and rest.” He shook his head again and tried to push himself up. Dean put one hand in the center of the angel’s chest and shoved him back down as gently as he could.

“Do as Ellen says. She’s right and you know it.” Again with the head shake.

“I must-” Dean cut him off.

“You must stop arguing because you won’t win. You are no good to us like this, Cass. We need you to be at full capacity.” The angel stared at him for a moment then nodded.

“Fine but I must speak to you all.” I nodded.

“Agreed. You can talk as we get you fixed up.” He looked at me and I fought not to flinch. I knew he was staring at me but his gaze was unfocused. It was like the eerie stare of a blind person, the notion is there but not the ability. 

“Can you walk?” He was silent for a moment as if pondering the question.

“I don’t know.” I nodded. “Dean, help me get him upstairs.” He nodded and grabbed one of Cass’ arms putting it over his shoulders with me shadowing him on my side. 

“Jo.” Her eyes locked on mine, waiting for me to speak. I wanted to hug her to me and never let her go but now wasn’t the time. “Get the medical kit, a bowl of hot water, rags and towels” She nodded and hopped to her feet, a hole in the cloth of her shirt where the chair leg had gone through.

“I’ll help.” Rufus said, hauling himself to his feet. Five minutes later we had Cass laid out on the floor next to Dean’s bed. There had been no talking needed to decide where to go. Dean had just directed us here. I stood up.

“Get him out of the shirt and jeans.” I tossed him a towel from the bathroom. “Cover only what decency demands.” I gestured at the hole in Cass’ hip that was still leaking blood. “That wound won’t like being touched by much of anything.” He nodded and began to try to get the angel’s clothes off as I turned to help gather supplies and a bag to put the bloody linens in.

 

Castiel’s POV

 

Cover only what decency demands. I almost laughed at the irony of that seeing Dean’s naked body moving around me. The laugh faded when sharp jolts of pain shocked through me as Dean tried to remove my jeans. I had dreamed of the pleasure of having him undress me. It would figure the circumstances would be all wrong. I winced as a particularly painful jolt went through me. I placed my hand on his to still it. 

“I know you are trying to be gentle but I’d prefer you be fast and rough or simply cut them off.” He stared at me for a moment. 

The denim was wet with blood around my hips and partway to my knee which would only make the process more difficult. I opened my mouth to tell him this when he nodded. I ground my teeth when he jerked at the jeans, taking me at my word. A couple long, pained minutes later I was completely nude, covered only by a green towel. Dean stared at me in silence for a few minutes. I was sure he was about to say something when Ellen and Jo finally came back in. 

“Alright.” Ellen said as she got to her knees beside me with a large red bag slung over her shoulder. She looked into my eyes. “This will not be pleasant.” I nodded. That was almost a given. “Dean move back so Jo can look at his shoulder.” Dean stayed where he was making Ellen stop and give him a look that made me shiver which triggered a wave of pain. “Dean. Move.”

“I want to help.” She shook her head.

“We have this. Move back.” He shook his head. Ellen was pissed as she leaned over me, getting within half a foot of Dean. “There is a reason why surgeons are not allowed to work on those they love. We are trying to help him. Now, move. The. Fuck. Back.” Each word was clipped with anger. Jo placed her hand on Dean’s bare shoulder.

“Please.” She said. Pain jolted back and forth between my shoulder and hip at that moment. Whether because of my wince or Jo’s please, he moved back, head dropping to hang between his shoulders. Ellen tossed Jo a penlight from her pocket and clicked her own on, putting the end of it in her mouth as she snapped on a pair of purple gloves, a second later the snap of Jo's gloves echoed Ellen. 

“So,” She said around the penlight, “What happened to your eyes?” 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they aren’t the bright blue they normally are. They're dull like a really pale grey.” I squeezed my eyes shut as she and Jo began exploring my wounds at the same time. 

“I over exerted myself.” 

“What exactly does that mean?” I searched for the right words. 

“If an angel's grace can be compared to anything humans have I guess a battery would do.  It connects us to heaven and is what makes us an angel. Without it we would not be as such. I used my grace tonight to draw more power than I should have been able to wield in order kill the angels I did.  It wore out my vessel.” Jo had stopped and was staring at me. 

“It sounds more to me like heaven is the outlet supplying the power,  your grace is the charger and your body the battery. You overcharged the battery and effectively killed it,  in a manner of speaking.”  Her words were muffled around the penlight and the explanation was punctuated by her sucking on the end in her mouth. I thought about that for a minute then nodded. 

“I suppose it's as good an analogy as any.” Jo nodded and continued working on my shoulder. 

“You shouldn't have healed me.  I would have been fine. Why'd you heal me?” Ellen’s question was thick with sincerity. I stared at her with a slight smile. 

“Because this” I tapped my head, “Is just as important as this.” I placed my hand over my heart. “You need both to survive, but I want you, all of you, to do much more than that.” Both women had stopped and were staring at me. Ellen smiled brilliantly,  tears in her eyes.  She nodded once,  a silent thank you and then continued. A minute or so of silence passed before Ellen made a noise and looked up at Jo with her eyes. 

“Jo, how’s his shoulder wound look?” Jo frowned then sucked on the end of her flashlight before responding.

“It’s weird, like parts of the blade broke off inside of him.” Ellen nodded and silenced Dean, who had come forward as if to say something, with a hand before glancing at him. 

“What she means is that whatever material the blade is made of seems to have flaked off along the inside of the wounds.” She looked at Jo who was waiting for her to make a decision. “I got the same thing.” She sat back on her heels and shook her head. “Cass, this is going to hurt like a sonofabitch but we are going to have to flush the wounds or you won’t heal the damage properly.” I nodded and closed my eyes. 

“This is new. Even if the blow doesn’t kill us it weakens us. Effective.” Jo laughed lightly making me look at her.

“Sorry, it's just...you know you got two holes in you and all you can say is, ‘effective’?” She laughed a bit again and shook her head. Ellen chuckled as well and nodded. 

Almost an hour later the wounds were cleaned, stitched and bandaged with copious amounts of what they had called Neosporin. The cleaning had taken the longest and hurt the most. They had thoroughly flushed the wounds and had finally had to resort to cutting away the bits that would not yield. I had told Ellen and Jo everything that had happened last night and what was coming our way. Both women were grim as they packed away the last of the medical supplies.

“Dean there are clean towels and rags there.” She pointed to the small pile as she stood. “Clean him up a bit before you put him in the bed.” She finally actually looked at him. “You can get him into the bed right?” He nodded and took the bowl filled with bloody water into the bathroom. 

Both the women left right before Dean came back out with a steaming bowl of clean water. He knelt next to me where Ellen had sat and stared at me for a brief moment before he grabbed the edge of the towel covering me. I quickly grabbed his wrist and shook my head, heart in my throat. 

“I will clean myself, Dean. It shouldn’t be that hard.” I don’t know why I didn’t want him to remove the towel and clean me but I just didn’t. Flashes of the embarrassment on his face this morning made me look away from him. 

“Let me help you, Cass. You got hurt pretty bad.” I could hear in his voice what I didn’t want to see on his face, hurt. Dammit! How was this about him? I tried to tell my body that this meant nothing to Dean, to behave itself. I swallowed hard and let go of his wrist. 

 

Dean’s POV

 

I hesitated as Cass released his grip on my wrist. He still had his head turned to the side as I pulled the towel off of him. I ran my eyes over him from the sandy blonde hair on the top of his head down the strong jaw line and neck. His shoulders were broad and well muscled in a way that only physical labor could give you. His chest and stomach were chiseled valleys and plateaus providing new heights and depths for the tongue to explore. I looked away from him, closing my eyes and sucking in a slow breath. When I looked back he was looking at me. I had stared too long and wondered how much the angel had seen. I averted my eyes by grabbing a rag and submerging it in the bowl, ringing it out. I couldn’t look at his eyes as I ran the rag along his hip around the bandaging then over the flat expanse of skin stretching between his hips. I watched the goosebumps rise behind my attentions. I forced my brain to shut off as I washed his stomach, chest, shoulders, thighs and finally I couldn’t stay passive anymore. Did I wash his groin area or would that be implying that he was so helpless he couldn’t even do that. I looked up to ask him and found him watching me patiently, waiting passively for me to make a decision. If I asked would he give me an answer? I wanted to, the need to continue burned through me. I broke the stare and dropped the wash rag back into the bowl. He turned his face away from me again. I caught a brief glimpse of the hurt in his eyes. I’d seen a look similar to that this morning and again when he’d looked away from me the first time. I didn’t mean to keep hurting him. I stood and took the bowl back into the bathroom, rinsing it and the now pink rag out in the tub. When I walked back into the room Cass had rolled over and was on his hands and knees, crawling toward the bed. Lust and panic raced through me as I quickly moved to his side.

“What are you doing? You are going to bust a stitch. Why didn’t you wait for me.”

“I think I can do at least this on my own.” The tone implied he was really saying, I don’t need you. The truth of the matter was, almost all the time that was true. He had done everything on his own for thousands of years before I’d ever come into the picture. But not tonight. Tonight he needed me. 

“Let me help you.” He shrugged off my touch and pushed himself to his feet. He staggered and almost fell when I caught him. I helped him to the bed and sat him down gently. He pulled gingerly away from me and laid down on his back, lips straining in a thin line of pain. 

“Please. Cass, what can I do to help?” The angel closed his eyes with an exhausted sigh and didn’t answer for so long I thought he wouldn’t. 

I was ready to leave the room when Jo walked into the room. She froze seeing Cass stretched nude across the bed and then her eyes flicked over me and I looked down,realizing I had been naked this whole time. I thought about covering myself with my hands and then decided against it. She’d already seen it all, what good would it do? I did lean over the bed and pull the sheet and comforter up over Cass. I looked him over before turning around.

“I’ll leave you to rest then.” Jo rushed forward to get the bloody, soaked towels off the floor. 

“Dean.” We both froze at the tired, wanting tone in his voice. I turned around. “You really want to help me?” I nodded and he echoed the movement. “Sleep with me?” My heart stopped and then beat double time to catch up. I swallowed a couple times. 

“Cass-” My voice came out deeper than it should have.

“I don’t mean sex, Dean. Sleep, just sleep.” 

“What-” I stopped and cleared my voice. “How will that help you?” 

“We are all God’s creatures. As I once healed Ruby by wrapping you both in my grace so it works in reverse. It is not quite as effective, but it does speed the healing process a lot.” I frowned.

“How? How does it work in reverse?” He sighed. 

“Is it not enough to know that with you sleeping beside me I will heal faster?” I flushed and saw Jo glaring at me out of the corner of my eye. I turned so that I couldn’t see her. Cass sighed, taking my silence as an answer. “Your vitality, your...soul, if you will shines brighter, is more vulnerable when you sleep. It emanates from you like heat from a fire. This is what will heal me. I will, in a sense, be borrowing your strength.”

“So you’ll be borrowing my life, my soul?” 

“No. your soul is only your own unless you bargain it away. It is the essence of your vitality that I will bask in much like you and Ruby bathed in my grace.” 

“What do you need?” Jo asked as she stepped forward. The towels were gone from her hands and I didn’t see them anywhere so she must have come and gone without me noticing. Cass looked at her.

“To simply sleep next to someone.” She nodded.

“Okay.” Something nasty reared up inside me. 

“Jo-” She cut him off.

“You saved my life today, Cass. You’ve saved all of our asses too many times to count. It isn’t too much to ask to sleep beside you.” He smiled but shook his head.

“I meant it when I said it isn’t as effective in reverse. For this to work it requires skin to skin contact. A lot of it.” She shrugged and then her shirt was up and over her head, falling to the floor. She walked towards the bed and I felt myself moving forward.

“What are you doing?” She stopped and looked at me over her shoulder.

“What you aren’t willing to do.” I stared at the naked flesh of her stomach and breasts over the cups of her bra. She laughed, clocking the movement. “It is just skin. You have been walking around in nothing for a couple hours now.” She unbuttoned her jeans and walked to the side of the bed Cass was closest to, stopping to kick off her jeans. I glared holes into Cass as he watched her strip down to just her underwear. 

“Can you scoot over just a little bit?” Cass moved over so that he was in the center of the bed, his eyes never moved off of Jo. She stopped and made a gesture at her bra and panties. “Is this fine or…?” She let the question trail off. He smiled, eyes never leaving her.

“It should be sufficient.” It sounded like he wouldn’t mind what little she wore coming off. She seemed to catch that too because she smiled bashfully, averting her eyes down to the bed. 

He seemed to be cataloguing every detail about her. She slid into the bed next to him, snuggling the covers up and over her as she cozied into him. He lifted his arm, putting it around her so that she laid her head on his shoulder. It just so happened to be the uninjured one. I was fuming and had no idea why. Cass sighed, eyes sliding shut as they both got settled. I must have moved or made some noise because they both looked at me. 

“You could join, Dean. It would be more effective with two instead of one.” I was simmering with rage and Cass must have known it. “Be childish if you want, but do it elsewhere. I do not have the patience for your bull shit tonight. The offer was originally extended to you. Either join us or leave.” The tone was so empty of anything but contempt it made the already biting words scathing. 

I blinked in shock. Cass rarely ever cursed but when he did you could always tell he was truly fed up. The angel’s eyes were glittering with his anger and his words still burned in my ears. I was still pissed but he had a point. He was the one injured. I was fine. I swallowed my rage and walked towards the bed. Both of them watched me as I came. They had both been right. I’d been childish. I slid into the bed beside him angling my upper body away from his arm and shoulder, using my arm as a pillow. I slid my leg over his thigh, parting his legs a bit so I my lower leg could rest between his. The inside of my thigh rested a little below his hip. My cock pressed into the side of his hip, giving a twitch as if it liked where it was. As soon as I was settled a silence fell over the three of us. 

“What now?” I asked. He looked at me. 

“You sleep.” As if to emphasize his point he closed his eyes even though I knew angels did not sleep. 

I snuggled in closer to him, stretching my arm across his stomach. My hand brushed up the length of Jo’s arm that was draped just above his hips. I rested my hand in that so cherished curve between her hip and ribs. Some tension I hadn't noticed was there went out of the both of them. We lay there like that for a half hour before a light snore, a soft sound like you'd hear a baby make, announced Jo's deep sleep. My mind wandered back through what had gotten us here. 

The water ran down over my head and body, washing away the morning after regret and the events from only minutes before. I shivered, remembering the feeling of him. Suddenly glass shattered, too much for a broken plate,  I never would have heard that. I turned the water off and stepped out of the shower,  nearly slipping when the first gunshot rang out. I ran from the bathroom,  flinging the bedroom door open. The sounds of battle greeted me as I ran for the stairs. I realized too late that I hadn't stopped to so much as grab a weapon. I ran head long into who knows what empty handed. I rounded the corner to see Ellen rolling an already dead man over,  straddling him as she wiped his brains from her eyes. The warning was already coming to my lips as she was tackled to the ground.  I spun when Rufus was slammed back against a bookshelf from a mean haymaker to the face. His shotgun went off and the man jerked with the impact but didn't go down. Jo went flying, body smashing through a wooden chair. The woman was suddenly on to of her. I ran and knew with a sinking feeling that I wouldn't get there in time. I dove for the woman as she palmed a chair leg.  Please, let me make it. Something crashed into me in mid air sending me spiraling across the floor, coming to a stop against the wall. I rolled over,  getting only to my hands and knees as the woman spitted Jo with the chair leg. The scream tore out of my throat, a long throaty scream of agony as I watched Jo gasp for air she couldn't find. 

“DEAN!” Ellen screamed for me like I was the one dying. 

She didn't know it was her daughter that had just been gutted. I launched myself at the woman, knocking her off as she angled the chair leg upward to take Jo's heart. I rocked the woman's head back into the ground, grabbing her by the throat ready to continue beating in her head until it split open, spilling its contents into the floor. My vision was stolen as a blinding white light filled the room. Screams tore through me, so loud. They were so loud. I covered my ears, squeezing my eyes shut as the woman beneath me seized. It felt like the screams were flaying pieces of my mind. Then it was over. The woman beneath me was dead, eyes charred, empty, smoking pits in her face. Jo.  I scrambled toward her on hands and knees as fast I could, pulling her into my lap. Oh god. No! Please, no! 

“Dean.” Cass’ voice brought me back to myself with a jolt. He was staring at me as if he knew. 

“We almost lost Jo today.”

“But we didn't.” I shook my head. That wasn't the point. 

“Those were angels,  Cass. Angels. Angels almost stole her from us. Not demons, not humans, angels.” He nodded add if he knew how that sounded. I swallowed a few times and fought the burn at the back of my throat. “I thought-” I had to stop and just breathe for a moment. “I thought I...we were going to lose you too.” A small smile graced just the corners of his lips. 

“I know. But we are all still here.”

“Today. What about tomorrow?”

“That is tomorrow's business. Today we are all still here. Victory is ours this day.”

“Survival shouldn't be a victory.” He smiled a sad, I've seen too much, smile.

“Survival is what life is about, Dean. In essence it is the only victory that matters.” I frowned, thinking about that. He genuinely smiled which brought a smile of my own. “Sleep, Dean.” I nodded and snuggled down. 

I tried to shut my brain off. A warm soothing feeling wrapped around me and I finally felt my muscles begin to relax. As the last muscle unclenched I began to realize something was weird. The bed felt like it was cradling me, the pillow that was suddenly under my head was light and soft, the blankets like a layer of silken warmth hugging me. Where my leg rested on Cass' I felt a low vibration like a distant hum. His skin was warm and welcoming against me and I sighed as the feeling of his body against mine gave me that amazing feeling of being safe and loved. Sleep sucked at the edges of reality. 

Cass' hands roamed all over my body his finger traced teasing circles around my nipple making me breathe hard. Then his thumb ran over the taut peaks drawing a throaty noise from me. Suddenly he pinched my nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger sending threads of pleasure through me. I moaned, arching my back and clutching at the sheets. Then he switched nipples, repeating the process, drawing another moan from me. 

He stopped and my body fell limply back against the mattress as if the life had left out of me with his touch. My whole body ached with need. I needed him to touch me. He stared down at me, breathing hard, running just his fingertips down my chest and stomach. His eyes glowed with a need reflecting my own, lips parted and so full, kissable. The thought of tasting that so pink mouth was so vivid my lips tingled. He looked away from my eyes to gaze down at my body. His fingers trailed just under the band of my jeans, dipping his fingers further under making me wriggle my hips. Cass moved so that he was propped on his elbow, tracing his fingers up and down the seam running along the inside of my thigh like he was unsure. I thought I was going to explode if he didn't touch me soon. My cock hurt from the need, seizing within its confines. He finally slid his hand up so that his fingers pressed against me through the denim. I arched my back, rotating my hips so that he was cupping me. I cried out and he moaned. I knew I'd never forget that sound. He used his thumb and forefinger to trace along the hard outline of my cock under the pants, throwing my head back as a near painful wave of desire tore through me, making me moan and search frantically with my hands for something to hold onto.

“Please-” I gasped for air. Cass stared at me for only a second and then the heat in his eyes intensified.

“Undo them for me.” His usually gruff voice was deeper, a husky, sexual growl. My hands instantly fumbled at the jeans, small noises escaping me.

“Dean-” Cass moaned my name. I frowned. I didn't remember that.

Cass moaned as my cock sprang free of the jeans and he began tugging slightly at the jeans, sliding them further down my hips. He stared at me and hesitated briefly before running the pads of his fingertips along my aching cock. I gasped and then Cass' hand was around me, simultaneously squeezing just enough and not nearly enough. As if pulled by strings my body bowed off the bed and I cried out loud enough that it was more like a quiet scream. 

“Dean!” Cass' cry was filled with pleasure. 

I didn't remember this either. Suddenly a woman moaned loudly, a deep, throaty purr and I snapped back, eyes opening wide. I gasped as pleasure sang through me, desire hot on its coattails. Cass was writhing, Jo moved sliding her body on top of the angel's so that a thigh was on both sides of his hips, her upper body in a push up position above him. Her knee was wedge between Cass and I. Her eyes were closed and a small frown furrowed its way between her brows as if she were concentrating on something. 

Cass straddled my thighs, as if to pull my pants up but instead he ran his fingers down the gleaming length of my cock.

Jo and Cass both moaned drawing me back to the here and now. Cass' hands gripped Jo's hips as she moved against him. One of his hands moved up her side. She leaned into him and he curled his upper body up to meet her. I saw it coming. I knew they were going to kiss. I had all the time in the world to stop it and oddly enough knew I couldn't. 

Cass' fingers entwined in all that long blonde hair and then something went through me like an electric shock. I knew we had all felt it as our cries echoed each-other. Whatever might or might not have happened didn't matter any longer as I felt our desire mingle and something within us all snapped. That invisible line that separated controlled violence and pure chaos fractured spilling us from one extreme to the next.

Cass and Jo's lips met and the world shattered until it was just us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! I wrote a few things in that chapter that not even I was expecting. I hope you enjoyed. Please comment and tell me what you think of the story thus far.


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